Even though I’m nowhere close to being old, I’m not incredibly young anymore, either. What this boils down to is, over the span of time that I’ve been on this planet, I have definitely seen some things that make it pretty hard to totally catch me off guard — especially when it comes to Black women and what we are fully capable of in the beauty department. Oh, but when I tell you I had to do a few triple-checks on this post right here? Y’ALL.
Okay, did you peep the text? 60. Umm...60?! Y’ALL. I know we say that “Black don’t crack” ‘n all, however, this is taking things to an entirely different level. And even though I’ve been on-10 about my skin, even before this woman had me damn near mesmerized, I won’t lie — she further confirmed to me why it’s so important to be hypervigilant and super proactive when it comes to consistent and effective skincare. And as of this year, for me, that includes implementing at-home chemical peels.
If you’ve never considered getting a chemical peel before, let alone giving your own self one, stay tuned. I’m gonna touch on all of the things you’re (probably) curious about in order to put your mind at ease so that your skin can be at least half as amazing as this woman’s skin is (lawd!).
What Is a Chemical Peel?
Okay, so let’s start at the beginning. A chemical peel is a process that consists of applying certain acids to your face that will help to remove certain layers of your skin (depending on what kind of acids you use and what concentration you apply) in order to remove dead skin cells, seriously clear out your pores, get rid of hyperpigmentation (over time), soften the appearance of acne marks/scars, fine lines and wrinkles and give your skin a fresh, youthful and glowing look.
For the most part, chemical peels are broken down into three different types:
Light (lunchtime) peel: This peel removes the very top layers of your skin, can be done from the comfort and convenience of your own home, oftentimes consists of very little (if any) skin shedding, and requires no downtime. It’s also relatively painless.
Medium peel: Here, both the upper and middle layers of your skin are removed. People with age spots, acne scarring, severe hyperpigmentation, and somewhat prominent wrinkles may opt for this one. It takes around a week for your skin to fully recover; there is some shedding, and yes, some downtime is required. This kicks the discomfort up a couple of notches (because the acid is stronger).
Deep peel: If you’ve got the kind of acne marks that leave pits or indentations in your skin, there are a good amount of wrinkles and crow’s feet hanging around, or you want a really drastic change in how your skin looks and feels, this is the type of peel that can make that happen for you. Now, this one is where the big kids play. In fact, some professionals will prep your skin for up to eight weeks before even applying this type of peel. The shedding is so extreme that it just might freak you out, and you’re absolutely gonna need to settle in for some downtime. In fact, you may be given some pain medication to handle this one.
As far as the kind of acids that are used in chemical peels, one of the following (or a combination of them) is customary:
- Glycolic acid
- Trichloroacetic acid
- Salicylic acid
- Lactic acid
- Phenol
If you were to do these at home, you can buy them at different concentration levels. For instance, the company that I have quickly become a fan of is Perfect Image. They’ve got peels and peel pads in different chemical forms and concentration levels from 10-50 percent so that you can ease into what works best for you and possibly “build up resistance” (to the chemical levels over time).
If there’s a part of you, that’s skeptical because of your complexion (because there are some people who are haters of brown and Black skin using chemical peels) — that’s part of the reason why I enclosed all of the videos in this article; it’s to provide you with proof that yes, we can use chemical peels, just like everyone else. The main thing to keep in mind is that if you’re going to get a professional chemical peel, you should go to a dermatologist or esthetician who actually specializes in melanated skin.
You should also watch videos like the one here via Destiny Lashae Makeup's YouTube channel. It’s an almost 24-minute video that walks you all the way through a deep chemical peeling process so that you know just about all that you would be getting yourself into with that type of peel.
This brings me to my next point about chemical peels.
Why You Should Let a Professional Do a Certain Kind of Them
This brings me to my next point about chemical peels.
If you watched the video that I just mentioned or even the one featured in that section, you can tell that deep (and sometimes even medium) chemical peels ain’t nothin’ to play with on your own. For starters, the process consists of more than just slapping some acid on your face and going about your merry way. A professional has to study your skin to see what chemicals would work best for you; there are other products that need to complement the peel and the downtime…yeah, the downtime.
Plus, you need self-control times a billion to let the peel fully do its process because, if you pick at the peel prematurely, that can be counterproductive as hell in the sense that it could lead to infection, hyperpigmentation, or even permanent scarring.
And if you’re wondering what a professional chemical peel would run you…yeah, that part. Let’s just say that it’s not the cheapest thing on the planet. The average (because some are much lower and some go into the thousands) is somewhere around five hundred bucks for a really thorough deep peel. The good news about that is oftentimes, you only have to go once for one of those. And that price tag is certainly not the only option. My waxer is also an aesthetician, and her chemical peels are around $150 per session.
If all of this is still too deep for your pockets (trust me, I totally get it), another option is to do what I do: my own chemical peels at home.
The Pros of Doing Chemical Peels at Home
Due to the fact that I am a reformed product junkie, I actually don’t mind experimenting a bit with my skin and hair. So, as I was seeing at-home chemical peels pop up in my YouTube algorithm a while back, I took that as a clear sign that I needed to give one a try. I’ll be honest, I probably should’ve gone with something that was 10 percent concentrate first, yet, for the cost, I decided that I would give 30 percent a shot.
I first went with the lactic acid peel, mostly because I already knew that it was an alpha hydroxy acid that is effective at removing dead skin cells (my skin can get pretty dull if I’m not careful) and lightening dark spots. Lately, though, I’ve been playing around with a pineapple pumpkin enzyme peel because the brand that I use combines lactic and glycolic acid (it’s great at treating acne, acne scars, and getting rid of dark patches along with removing dead skin cells too); plus, pineapple is loaded with vitamin C and can help to brighten your complexion while pumpkin contains vitamin E and is an awesome skin hydrator.
Anyway, since using both these peels, here are the “pros” that I have noticed:
- Not a ton of skin-prepping is required (although you need to thoroughly read and follow the instructions of whatever product you decide to use).
- The peels are easy to apply.
- The stinging (at 30 percent, not 10) is quite manageable (although you do feel it).
- Cool water can typically “deactivate” the peel (although adding baking soda to the water is super effective).
- My skin immediately looks and feels smoother and “tighter.”
- I only get period pimples for the most part, and those have decreased, significantly so.
- Any unevenness is fading.
- Other skin products glide on so much easier.
- My pores appear smaller.
- I can use the peel 2-3 times a week (be careful to build up to that level of tolerance).
- My skin glows (also almost immediately after use) like it’s radiant.
- My skin does not shed (although there can be minimal amounts based on higher concentrations).
- I have virtually no sebum plugs (at least that I can feel or see).
Yeah, I ain’t got no lies to tell you — as far as skincare moves are concerned, applying LIGHT at-home chemical peels has been one of the best decisions that I have EVER made.
No exaggeration; especially when it comes to the price (the bottles that I get are designed to last me for around 20 peels at less than 30 dollars a bottle).
Now, that doesn’t mean that the path to all of what I just mentioned has always been smooth…
The Cons of Doing Chemical Peels at Home
Right now, as we speak, I’ve got a burn scar on the left side of my mouth that is still healing (as far as hyperpigmentation goes). How the heck did it get there? Because I didn’t follow parts of the advice that I’m giving you. Because a part of what affects the impact and effectiveness of a chemical peel is not just the concentration of the acid but how long you leave it on your skin — when I first tried the enzyme one, I thought I was big and bad, and so I left it on, at 30 percent, for five minutes…the first attempt. I caused a minor skin burn. Then, when it started to come off, I thought it was a skin peel and not a burn, and that resulted in a scar. SMDH.
All of this was totally my fault. Still, that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t give you a heads up on a few things on the potential “cons” side of chemical peels:
- Even if you read the instructions, there is some trial and error involved.
- Because you’re winging it on your own, you might discover the hard way which kinds of acids actually work in your favor and which ones…don’t.
- Sometimes, it can be hard to know the difference between the kind of stinging that’s working for you (“eating up” the dead skin cells) vs. working against you (actually burning your skin).
- If you’re not careful, you could end up with some post-inflammatory hyperpigmentation from mild scabs or burns that can take quite a bit of time to heal.
- The results are not nearly as drastic as medium and deep chemical peels (although how many layers you apply and how long you leave a light peel on will determine things like dryness and peeling).
- There can be some temporary itchiness following applying the peel for a couple of days that will lead to mild scarring if you scratch.
- You need to apply the peels consistently for the best results (one-and-done is futile).
Aside from those seven points, you also may go through a bit of skin purging, which isn’t a whole lot of fun. Since chemical peels are basically detoxing your skin, it’s not uncommon for your face (or wherever you’re applying the peel) to first look magnificent and then, after a couple of weeks, to have some breakouts due to the toxins and bacteria that are rising to the surface. Indeed, it does take a bit of patience to get through that process (especially if you keep starting and stopping the peels), yet I’m a living testament to the fact that it will pass, and the skin that you get on the backside will make it all well worth the time, effort and energy.
_____
Hopefully, I explained chemical peels enough to where, if you are considering a professional one or going the DIY route, you know what you’re getting yourself into. Like I already said, I am a fan and wish I had known about them sooner. Few things have blessed my skin more, y’all. And I totally mean that.
Now, let me go apply my peel for the day. Yay! It’s time.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by yacobcuk/Getty Images
It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
The Essential 3-Step Skincare Routine Every Woman Over 30 Needs
At the tender age of 29, I discovered the world of skincare after complaining to a coworker about excessively oily skin. Her list of suggested products? A cleanser, toner, serum, and moisturizer in that exact order. It was that simple. Easy enough, I began using her recommendations, and my life was completely changed forever.
Now that I'm in my 30s and diving deeper into my love of beauty, I've begun to question the simplicity of my everyday regimen wondering if there's more to maintaining beautiful, healthy, and youthful-looking skin.
We all know Black doesn't crack but when reading up on beauty trends, many online experts suggest that every woman over 30 needs specific products to fight against fine lines and wrinkles. To maintain perfectly smooth glowing skin after a certain age, if it's not eye cream, then it's a specific product or procedure that could cost more than what I'm willing to pay for anti-aging effects. I decided to get the real tea on the skincare needs of Black women over 30.
I spoke with beauty expert Eden Gilliam, an esthetician with 11 years of experience in the beauty industry and founder of EVE MILAN, a Black woman-owned skincare company based in New York City.
Courtesy of Eve Milan
"I like to stay away from adding a bunch of extra products into a person's skincare routine that they're not going to commit to. Too many steps ultimately lead to becoming so frustrated that you're not going to do much of anything." Eden states.
"For example, the area around your eyes is more delicate of course, it's the thinnest skin you have so it may need more attention as you age. However, if you have a nice hydrating serum like hyaluronic acid that's already in your daily routine, then you can definitely get away with using that on your under-eye skin. For people that like to keep it natural, using shea butter also keeps that area hydrated." Her point? "Keep your routine simple."
After working hands-on with clients, Eden identified common skincare struggles which led her to create a line of products designed to restore confidence and a healthy glow no matter one's age. She explains, "There isn't anything that a three-step system can't solve." With age comes responsibility and a quick morning and nighttime routine are extremely effective when balancing healthy skin and busy life. "It should only take 10 minutes of your time, knowing exactly what you're doing and feeling confident in your routine."
The Simplicity Set: 3-Step System
"When it comes to the products we offer, like our best-selling 'Simplicity Set,' it's a hydrating cleanser, gentle exfoliant in the form of pads and a serum."
1. Gentle Cleansing Gel No. 103
Courtesy of Eve Milan
Every routine starts off with a cleanser. Eden suggests tackling your skincare basics with a nourishing cleanser that balances oil production while delivering a deep clean.
2. Superfruit Enzyme Exfoliating Pads
Courtesy of Eve Milan
Recently introduced to the process of exfoliation, when speaking with Eden I learned how instrumental this process is for aging skin. "Exfoliating as you get older is going to be the foundation of any skincare routine. You have to exfoliate. As we age, our skin turnover rate starts to slow down and it's not renewing itself as fast as it used to. That's how you get clogged pores, fine lines, and wrinkles, even dry skin. When exfoliating, that allows the remaining products you apply to be more effective."
When asked what's the difference between an exfoliant and a toner, Eden explains, "A toner completes the cleaning process which is why it's used after a cleanser but exfoliants dissolve the glue that holds your skin cells intact. You want these skin cells to regenerate like they used to."
"A chemical exfoliant, which I believe every Black woman should be using, not a scrub (physical exfoliant), penetrates into the skin and keeps working throughout the day. It also increases your skin turnover and helps with appearing how it was in your teens and 20s."
Another tip when using the enzyme exfoliating pads, you can use [them] on your face, neck, chest, anywhere on your body, even your bikini area when suffering from ingrown hairs. Take care of all areas and achieve a head-to-toe glow by getting the most out of your products. Don't neglect the rest of your body by focusing solely on your face while other areas suffer from dry, cracked skin.
3. Reset Serum No. 422
Courtesy of Eve Milan
To complete the 3-step system, Eve Milan's Reset Serum is the perfect universal hydrating formula created for skin types. Doubling as a moisturizer, this is the final step to securing fresh and rejuvenated skin. Eden shares, "If you are going to invest money in anything skincare-wise, you'll want a serum." For a hydrating, vitamin-rich product, the Reset Serum soaks into the skin with healing ingredients like Gotu kola, niacinamide, and ceramides which provide you with anti-aging benefits. Whether oily or dry skin, this hydrating serum is for everyone.
"Asking whether a hydrating serum is for dry skin only is like asking if a person needs water. Your skin needs water, not oil. One of the main things that African-American women deal with is post-inflammatory hyperpigmentation which is brown spots resulting in the lack of hydration. No matter your skin type, you need products that add water to the skin and keep it in there."
Aside from the 3-step process, Eden also shares the importance of good health and probiotics when it comes to healthy skin. She adds, "One thing I tell my clients, we need to take vitamins. Skincare is what you are eating and the vitamins you are taking. Ask yourself what you are eating and drinking. Like caffeine, is it helping you or causing more problems?"
Without the use of harsh chemicals, Eve Milan's mission is to get customers to feel comfortable in their own skin. All the products are made free of sulfates, parabens, phthalates, artificial color, and fragrance to limit your exposure to toxins.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Getty Images
Originally published on October 30, 2021