I have a tendency to ignore my gut, but as I learn this, I'm working on listening a little closer when it's telling me, "This just ain't workin'. Throw in the towel."
I also know that I need validation and I'm working that out too. Give me a little bit of credit here, ladies. Although, I'm sure you're thinking we're talking about my interpersonal communication skills among other beings, I'm actually talking about the latest toy I reviewed, the Tickling Truman, where I was forced to go read other reviews to tell me what I already knew. THIS. AIN'T. IT.
Sure, the name gives it all away but what can I say? My mother taught me not to judge a book by its cover...or its name.
So, I adamantly sought out this toy after finding out it had an electro-stem feature. Electroplay is a kink of mine that I recently discovered, and it's exactly how it sounds, unless it sounds like I take lightning bolts to the clit, then no I have not worked my way up to that yet (since I'm sure it's a possibility). But I do like the beginner electro-play, typically carried out by toys such as the Neon Wand or the Violet Wand that can feel as light as a static shock and work its way up the intensity scale.
Well, this toy is supposed to have a similar but slightly weaker impact from my understanding. Now, did it actually turn out that way? You'll have to read on to find out the 4 things I learned while trying to shock my kitty-cat out of its coma:
The Tickling Truman Sex Toy Review
No Shocker
There was a lot of hype surrounding this toy among my friends in the kink community because of its electro feature. I went into it wanting to see what it might feel like to have the inside of my vagina receive a static shock, while in reality, it felt more like an intensified vibration. A tingle, I guess. However, let Truman roam and ZAP! You could feel the shock on super sensitive areas like your anus or that weird middle ground between your anus and your vagina.
Level Up
This toy has a total of 6 vibrators and although the symbols provide clarity, I found myself struggling to turn on the toy and clearly see when I was increasing the intensity. The only way that I could truly tell that the e-stem feature was at work was when it shocked my booty hole *Tiffany Haddish voice*.
While there were allegedly five different e-stem modes with up to ten levels of intensity for each, I could barely figure out how to turn the damn thing on. So much so, that I settled for one mode and if I happened to stumble upon another, fine. The buttons are not as intuitive as I would like them to be when I'm trying to get off, as it requires you to tinker with it quite a bit and this probably has a lot to do with there being so many of them. I honestly think that having six buttons is record-breaking for a vibrator, but maybe that's just me.
Big Dick Energy...Not
Truman was like the big dick that couldn't. Standing at 10 inches with a silicone girth (or diameter) of 5 inches, Truman was flexible and eager to please and I was eager to take Truman in but to little avail.
Truman delivered the kind of sex where you stare up at the ceiling waiting for a miracle and much like the other reviewers, I searched high and low for a clitorally focused toy to pair with this hoping to deliver me an orgasm. Since I couldn't find my itty bitty vibrator, this looked like me f*cking myself with a 10-inch vibrator while holding my Hitachi on my clit.
Bow Out
This toy was supposed to have a kegel feature but I'm not sure that I ever found it and I'm almost positive that unless you're just into the toy as a whole, you're better off buying a separate but far superior kegel toy. I was very disappointed with my couple of nights with Truman. However, as always, I have to acknowledge that I'm a clit girl. When my clitoris is being stimulated I'm at my best and most orgasmic – so I suppose it's no surprise that Truman was a miss and not a hit.
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RELATED
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Fortunately, five simple words have simplified my dating process and ushered in clarity faster: “Would my husband do this?”
A couple of years ago, I met an entertainment lawyer who was tonguing down a twenty-something-year-old woman for breakfast while I slurped my green smoothie and chomped on a flatbread sandwich. Okay, Black love, I grinned and thought as I sauntered out of the Joe & The Juice. As soon as I stepped down from the front door, a torrential downpour of Miami summer rain cascaded and throttled me back inside to wait out the storm.
I grabbed a hot green tea and vacillated between peering out the wet door and anxiously checking my watch. My lengthy agenda started with attending the Tabitha Brown and Chance Brown’s “Black Love” panel, and I was already late. That’s when the lawyer introduced himself to me, after he made a joke about neither one of us wanting to get soaked by the rain. His female companion had braved the storm, leaving us to find our commonalities.
We both lived in L.A. and had traveled to the American Black Film Festival to expand our network. He represented various artists, including entertainment writers, while I was working as a writer/creative producer in Hollywood.
While there is no shortage of internet advice on how to strategically meet a prominent man at conferences, if I spend my hard-earned funds on career growth, I have tunnel vision, and that doesn’t include finding Mr. Right. So, I stowed his contact details away as strictly professional.
Keep It Cute Love And Hip Hop GIFGiphyAs the humidity and mosquitoes were rising around L.A., two months later, another suitor-turned-terrible match cooled off after three unimpressive dates and a bevy of red flags. I posted what some of my friends called a thirst trap, but it was really me wearing a black freakum jumpsuit with a plunging neckline to my friend’s 35th birthday soiree despite feeling oh, so unsexy and bloated on my cycle.
I’d been waiting to post a sassy caption and finally had the perfect picture to match: “You not asking for too much, you just asking the wrong MF.”
That’s when the entertainment lawyer swooped into my DMs and asked me to dinner. I was quite confused. Is he asking me on a date? Or is this professional? Common sense would’ve picked the former. Once it clicked that this would in fact be a date, I told my mentor, who’s been happily married for over twenty years and has often been a guiding light and has steered me away from the wrong men.
Upon telling him about how we met, he emphatically stated, “He ain’t it.” He followed up with a simple question, "You have to ask yourself: Would my husband do this? Would you tell others that you met your husband, tonguing down another woman, and later married him?"
Aint It No Way GIF by UFCGiphyOuch. The thought-provoking question cleared any haze. Prior to going out with the lawyer, the first thing I inquired about was the woman.
“You saw that?” He said, taken aback that I’d witnessed his steamy PDA. Surely, anyone with two open eyes peeped him caressing her backside as he kissed her in the middle of the coffee shop.
He brushed her off as a casual someone he’d gone on a couple of dates with but had since stopped talking to. He said he hadn’t been in a serious relationship in over three years. Though I was still doubtful, dating in L.A. is treacherous and ephemeral. Making it past three months is considered a rarity.
With my antennae alert, I dined with him at a cozy beachside steakhouse restaurant where we were serenaded by a live jazz band. I’d emphasized forming a platonic friendship first.
Break Up Friendship GIF by TLCGiphy“I’ll come to you,” he obliged. I liked that he had made me a priority by driving over 50 miles to see me. I also liked the effort he made to check in with me daily. But I still couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that he initiated on a professional pretense and then alley hooped through the back door on a romantic venture, which bombarded me with confusion.
If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my dating life, God is not the author of confusion; any man who brings confusion, rather than clarity, is simply not The One. It doesn’t matter how many boxes he checks–eventually, that confusion will manifest itself into bigger problems, in time.
After diving into deeper conversations on the phone, post our first dinner date, I quickly realized this man was indeed not The One for me. But I’m grateful for the valuable lesson I learned.
I don’t expect some unattainable fairytale of a husband; we all have our own flaws and conflict is inevitable, but after dating for two decades, through failure and success, I’ve realized that the person I ultimately marry must mirror the values I exert into the world. He must reciprocate kindness, patience, and respect. He must be quick to listen and slow to respond. He needs to be forgiving and trustworthy, practice healthy communication, and be a man of his word at the bare minimum.
If I’d had “Would my husband do this?” in my toolbox when I was dating and floundering in stagnant relationships, in my twenties, it would’ve saved me a lot of precious time. But now that I’m equipped with the reminder, it’s allowed me to ground myself in my non-negotiables and set/maintain the standard for the special person, I’ll one day say, “I do,” to.
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