Thanks to my new puppy, I'm finally a morning person. After years of being a night owl, I have now been confined to a life of waking up at 3:30 and 5:30am to go tinkle, and sis is tired. I am sis. While this newfound lifestyle change has not necessarily been easy, it's allowed me to slide back into my morning routine like I never left and I have some tips that will help you get back on your grind, too.
Since the beginning of this quarantine, it's easy to get distracted and let anxiety overwhelm me, but the SAVERS morning routine has allowed me to slay the day like the savage that I am.
The routine, which I initially read about on Pinterest and adopted a few years ago, was inspired by The Miracle Morning: The Not-So-Obvious Secret Guaranteed to Transform Your Life Before 8AM,a self-help book that promises to cure your productivity problems for good. And for this I Tried It, I put this theory to the test.
S.A.V.E.R.S stands for:
- Silence
- Affirmations
- Visualizations
- Exercise
- Reading
- Scribing
And to me, it is a foolproof method to leveling up your focus despite being stuck in quarantine.
As, hands down, the most distracted woman in the world, I brought this morning routine out of retirement for a week, and I must admit my mornings were actually pretty magical.
Silence
I wake up around 5:00am. Wipe my face down with Witch Hazel and brush my teeth. At that point, I take the puppy out to tinkle and begin my routine.
Once I come back in the house, I put the dog back in his kennel to sleep, and get some serious alone time (with myself). I spend the first 10 to 15 minutes of my day in silence. I pray during this time and use the opportunity to tell God thank you for all of the amazing things in my life. I also meditate and think about absolutely nothing. It helps to use apps like Headspace and Calm if meditation isn't really your thing.
Affirmations
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Next, I move on to affirmations, which I often say in the mirror. I received Fearless Faith + Hustle: 21 Day Devotional Journey by Arian Simone at a Pajamas & Lipstick event in 2018 and it is full of affirmations for boss women. A few of them are:
- I am fearless in pursuing my destiny.
- I make decisions in alignment with my purpose.
- God supports my success.
- I am loved.
- I am a solution to someone's problem.
- I spend my time and energy in areas that are fruitful.
Remember to speak each of these affirmations with conviction and don't forget to say it with your chest.
Visualizations
After I speak life over myself, I'm ready to move on to the visualization part of my morning routine, which is probably more effective than you realize. I sit in silence and imagine myself accomplishing all of my goals for the day. I think about how productive and happy I want to be. I imagine the epic interactions I have (even in self-isolation) and I see myself at peace with how I spent my time.
Exercise
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Now, it's time to get that ass (and your heart rate) up with a brief workout.
I know. it's early. You're wondering who in the hell has time for this. But it's you, sis, you have time for this and you deserve to start your day with a burst of energy. I stretched and then moved into a quick circuit of at-home workouts.
Reading
Reading every morning can help you reduce stress, improve focus and concentration, and can even prevent memory loss, which makes it the perfect activity to incorporate into your morning routine.
I'm currently re-reading The Alchemist, which I try to read at least twice a year. But I would also recommend The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz or Acts of Faith by Iyanla Vanzant as great morning reading materials.
Scribe
@prettyhonore for xoNecole.com
Finally, it's time to use all of the morning motivation you've gained from the last five steps and get it all on paper. I use a modified version of bullet journaling in a bulleted notebook I got from Walmart for about $10 and I do a brain dump of everything I want to accomplish that day and then prioritize those items. I also like to use books with prompts or exercises during this time, this one is called How to Be Happy, Dammit: A Cynic's Guide to Spiritual Happiness.
I use this opportunity to release any thoughts or anxieties that I have—to get rid of any icky feels or unwarranted worries. I write letters to God and make a list of all the things I'm grateful for, which ultimately puts me in a kick-ass mood for the remainder of the day.
Next, I take a shower, get into my skincare routine, and get dressed to slay the living room.
My Thoughts:
This is totally something I would recommend for women who feel stuck and unfocused during quarantine. Self-isolation doesn't have to mean slacking on your to-do list and although this morning routine didn't completely solve my productivity problems, it allowed me to start and end my day with a little less anxiety and a lot more inspiration.
Do you have a morning routine that you swear by? Let us know in the comments!
Featured image courtesy of @prettyhonore.
- The Miracle Morning Solution - a 7-step morning routine ›
- A Concise Description of 6 Miracle Morning Savers - YouTube ›
- My Morning Routine - And Why You Need One Too | Boho Berry ... ›
- The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod (animated book summary) - How ... ›
- The 7-Step Morning Routine That Transforms My Entire Day ›
- The Miracle Morning For Writers | HuffPost ›
- Savers Daily Morning Routine — Morning Tips ›
- Start Your Day Off Right with the SAVERS Morning Routine ›
- The (6-minute) Miracle Morning - halelrod.com ›
- I tried the 'The Miracle Morning' productivity routine for a month ... ›
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On Honoring HBCU Roots To Create Something That Is For Us, By Us
Ariane Turner
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When Ariane Turner launched Look Good, Live Well, she created it with Black and brown people in mind, especially those with sensitive skin more prone to dryness and skin conditions like acne and eczema.
The Florida A&M University graduate launched her business to create something that addressed topical skin care needs and was intentional about its approach without negative terminology.
Turner shared that it is important to steer clear of language often adopted by more prominent brands, such as “banishing breakouts” or “correcting the skin,” because, in reality, Turner says there is nothing wrong with the way that our skin and bodies react to various life changes.
“I think what I have taken with me regarding my HBCU experience and translated to my entrepreneurial experience is the importance of not just networking,” Turner, the founder and CEO of Look Good, Live Well, tellls xoNecole.
“We hear that in business all the time, your network is your net worth, but family, there’s a thing at FAMU that we call FAMU-lee instead of family, and it’s very much a thing. What that taught me is the importance of not just making relationships and not just making that connection, but truly working on deepening them, and so being intentional about connecting with people initially, but staying connected and building and deepening those relationships, and that has served me tremendously in business, whether it’s being able to reach back to other classmates who I went to school with, or just networking in general.”
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On Solving A Very Specific Need For The Community
Luke Lawal Jr.
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When Luke Lawal Jr. launched HBCU Buzz, his main focus was to represent his community, using the platform to lift as they climbed by creating an outlet dedicated to celebrating the achievements and positive news affecting the 107 historically HBCUs nationwide.
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“The specific problem in 2011 when I started HBCU Buzz was more so around the fact that mainstream media always depict HBCUs as negative,” Lawal says. “You would only see HBCUs in the mainstream media when someone died, or the university president or someone was stepping down. It was always bad news, but they never shed light on all the wonderful things from our community."
So, I started HBCU Buzz to ensure the world saw the good things that come from our space. And they knew that HBCUs grew some of the brightest people in the world, and just trying to figure out ways to make sure our platform was a pedestal for all the students that come through our institutions.”
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On How Being An HBCU Alum Impacts The Way One Shows Up In The World
Jasmine Gurley
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Jasmine Gurley is a proud North Carolina Agricultural and Technical State University alum. She is even more delighted with her current role, which enables her to give back to current HBCU students as the Senior Director of Brand Marketing and Communications and official press secretary at Morehouse College.
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Gurley does not take her position at an HBCU, now as a leader, lightly.
“People think I’m joking when I say I’m living the dream, but I really am,” she notes. “So I wake up every day and know that the work that I do matters, no matter how hard it might be, how frustrating it may be, and challenging it. I know the ripple effect of my work, my team, and what this institution does also matter. The trajectory of Black male experiences, community, history, and then just American advancement just in general.”
On the other hand, through her business, Sankofa Public Relations, Gurley is also on a mission to uplift brands in their quest to help their respective communities. Since its inception in 2017, Sankofa PR has been on a mission to “reach back and reclaim local, national, and global communities by helping those actively working to move” various areas of the world, focusing on pushing things forward for the better.
“Through Sankofa, we’ve worked with all different types of organizational brands and individuals in several different industries, but I would think of them as mission-based,” says Gurley.
“So with that, it’s an opportunity to help people who are trying to do good in the world, and they are passionate about what they’re doing. They just need help with marketing issues, storytelling, and branding, and that’s when my expertise can come into play. Help them get to that moment where they can tell their story through me or another platform, and that’s been super fulfilling.”
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
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Y’all, soap operas, rom-coms, romance novels, social media, and porn have done an excellent (or horrific, depending on how you look at it) job of causing people to think that a great lover should be a mind reader or that they should be willing to do more work to please their partner than their partner is willing to do to learn what actually does please themselves. And to that, I say, goodness, how do you expect a man to “know your body” when you barely even do? And no, I’m not talking about masturbation. There are many other ways to bond with yourself than that.
Today, I’m going to share eight ways to do it. Because, if you want to sexually connect with your partner in a truly pleasurable and fulfilling way, it’s always a good idea to become a student of your own self first — so that you can be the best kind of teacher (if you know what I mean).
1. Meditate
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There are literally countless reasons why you should implement meditating into your self-care routine. When it comes to sex, specifically, because it helps to reduce stress, relieve anxiety, keep you in the moment, and make you more self-aware — this is why meditation tops the list for today, especially since deep and controlled breathing is a big part of what meditating is all about.
And since taking more oxygen into your system helps to make climaxing easier, increase blood circulation (which can intensify orgasms), and relax your pelvic floor muscles (so that sex is ultimately more pleasurable) —yeah, if you want to have better sex, you’ve got to consider meditating more often.
2. Figure Out Your Favorite Erogenous Zone. Then Find a New One.
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I’m pretty sure you know what an erogenous zone is; however, just to be sure, it’s the parts of your body that are the most easily aroused as far as sexual stimulation goes. Although it’s assumed that places like our breasts and genitalia are the peak ones, the reason why I once wrote “So, What If 'Typical Erogenous Zones' Annoy TF Outta You?” for the site is because it can’t be assumed that “predictable spots” will work for everyone. In fact, some health experts believe that there are at least 30 different potential erogenous zones on our bodies, including our scalp, ears, palms, the lower part of our back, the back of our knees, and others.
That said, next time you are in the bathtub, use your fingertips to gently touch various parts of your body. Pay close attention to which ones feel the most pleasurable or even potentially turn you on; then take note so that you can share it with your partner the next time the two of you are together. Because listen, even when it comes to masturbation, if all you focus on is “her,” you are seriously limiting how truly gratifying sex can be by now…branching out to other parts of your body.
3. Dance. Naked.
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Even if you don’t like to dance in public, do you at least dance alone sometimes? If not, you definitely should because not only is dancing good for your heart and bones, but it’s also a fun way to burn a few calories, plus it can do wonders for your sex life. Why do I say that? It’s because dancing has also been proven to decrease stress (remember, the less stressed you are, the easier it will be for you to get aroused), build up your core (so that you can increase your stamina), make you more flexible and help you to feel more connected whenever you are around other people.
And if you dance naked, that can help to increase your sexual self-confidence (check out “10 Sensuous Ways To Boost Your Sexual Self-Esteem”) because the more comfortable you are with your body, the more comfortable you will be to share it with your partner.
4. Massage Yourself. Also Naked.
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Speaking of getting more comfortable with your body, when was the last time you indulged in a sensual self-massage? No, I’m not using that as another term for masturbation; I mean a literal body massage that you give yourself.
If you never have before, the next time you get out of the shower or bath, wrap yourself up in a towel, warm up a carrier oil (check out “So, Here Are The Carrier Oils That Will Take Your Sex Life To A Whole 'Nother Level”) with an aphrodisiac essential oil (check out “Ultimate Climax Hack? 10 Scents That Make It So Much Easier To Orgasm”) and then use your fingers or a set of massaging tools to massage your body, starting with your scalp and going all the way down to your feet.
Not only will this help to relax you, improve blood circulation, and bring more flexibility to your joints, self-massages are an effective way to give parts of your body that may not get a lot of TLC, the type of attention that they deserve — so that you can guide your own partner’s hands, lips, etc. to those very same spots…later on.
5. Make Sexy Sounds to Discover (More of) Your Sensuality
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If you’ve heard somewhere that most people hate to hear the sound of their own voice, there is actually some truth to that (by the way, if you turn your palms backward, push them behind your ears to move your ears forward and then say something, that is how others hear you on the phone, etc.). The science behind it is your voice travels through the air, which is known as air conduction. However, the way you hear the results vs. how others do can be very different — annoying even because it tends to translate as thinner and higher to your system.
This is a part of the reason why some people can be self-conscious about the sounds that they make during sex. Here’s the thing, though: Did you know that sounds like moaning can actually help to enhance your sexual experience, and panting can convey desire for your partner (check out “Ever Wonder What The Sounds You Make During Sex Mean?”)? There’s nothing wrong with making sex-related sounds by yourself so that you can get more comfortable with the sound of your own voice.
Let me tell it, a part of the reason why it may be awkward during sex is your “sex sounds” are unfamiliar to even you…because you’re not used to making (and hearing) them (enough).
6. Get into Some Naval Play
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Belly buttons are sexy — hell, at least, to me, they are. That’s why, when I did some reading up on navel play, it made all of the sense in the world that it should be added to this article. For starters, there are a lot of nerve endings around that part of your body; so much, in fact, that some women even say that their clitoris is stimulated whenever their belly button/navel is touched, sometimes to the point where they are even able to have an orgasm.
So, even if it’s common for you to have your stomach touched or even kissed during foreplay with your partner, spend some time, alone, playing with your belly button too. Use fingers, feathers, ice, hot wax, sex toys — anything that feels pleasurable in that area to see what feels the most amazing to/for you. You never know — the orgasm that you’ve been waiting for all of this time may just be where your belly piercing is (because yes, there is such a thing as a belly button orgasm). Straight up.
7. Experiment with Tastes and Textures
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What do you feel sexier in: silk, satin, or lace? What’s your favorite “sex condiment”: honey, fudge, or whipped cream? When a silicone sex toy touches you, how does it make you feel? When it comes to foods that are considered to be aphrodisiacs, do you prefer red wine or coconut water? Have you ever slept alone on a bed that is filled with rose petals? If so, did it turn you on? What’s your favorite sex cocktail or mocktail? Have you ever even tried one before (check out “Sexy Sips: 8 Fall-Themed Mocktails That Are Aphrodisiacs Too”)?
Before you decide to really get to know someone sexually, it’s important that you know yourself, so set up a solo sex date where you experiment with some of the things that I just mentioned. In the article, “How To Incorporate All Five Senses To Have The Best Sex Ever,” I address different things to try as far as taste and touch because what might turn someone else on could be entirely different for you. The more you know about what arouses your senses, the better you’ll be at creating an atmosphere that is truly satisfying.
8. Put Yourself into Some Sex Positions (Alone)
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If you’ve ever wondered how many sex positions there are in the world, according to some Kama Sutra writers, there are well over 200. And even if you don’t believe that to be true, there are plenty of articles out in cyberspace (like these here, here, and here) that profess more than 50 exist. You know, I once checked out a sex survey that said that somewhere around 30 percent of people prefer the missionary position while another 30 percent prefer to go the cowgirl (you know, the woman on top) route and that couples tend to do that same position 60 percent of the time that they had sex.
Listen, although there is something to be said for, “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” if you are bored in the bedroom, always applying that sex mantra could be why.
So, as I close this out, click on the link to one of those articles and practice getting into some of the sex positions that you’ve never tried before (also naked and, yes, alone). It’s another way to increase your flexibility and make you feel more at ease in your own skin — plus, it can make you confident enough to suggest something new next time. Something that you don’t have to stumble and fumble around doing because you’ve already practiced it. Your partner will be no less than impressed. #wink
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