Both my acrylics and my bundles are long gone. My mustache is growing back with a vengeance, and it's safe to say that the quarantine has humbled me.
For the first time in a long time, I've been forced to take a good, hard look at my natural self and the woman I see looking back at me is upsetting me and my homegirls.
The ability to book a pedicure, wax, or silk press pretty much put my beauty routine on cruise control and now that I've lost it—your good sis is struggling. I am your good sis. Although I'm able to paint my own toes and put my wrist to work with a razor, the task of taming my tresses has been another story entirely. Now that my third sew-in in a row has reached its expiration date, I've come to find that my twist-outs never quite twist out and my wash-and-go makes me happy to stay at home.
Heat damage and bleach have pretty much fried, dyed, and laid my curls to the side, but just when I was about to give up hope, I received a package from Mielle that got my tresses together expeditiously. Before playing around with the products, I tapped my stylist, owner of Denver hair salon, Booji Beauty for a virtual consult where she gave me five must-have tips when it comes to perfecting my twist-out:
- Make sure to deep condition and rinse thoroughly before any protective style.
- Detangle from roots to end.
- Make sure it's completely dry before untwisting.
- Separate coils with oil on your fingertips (avoid over-separating).
- Be patient.
After my virtual consult with Jasmine, I tried Mielle's Rosemary Mint Collection for a Flexi-rod twist out on my fussy, chemically damaged hair.
Here's what happened:
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Step One: Activate Hydration
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After shampooing my hair thoroughly with Mielle's Rosemary Mint Strengthening Shampoo (Target, $10), I dove right into the deep conditioning process. I sectioned my hair into parts and applied Mielle's Rosemary Mint Strengthening Hair Masque (Target, $10) from root-to-end and began detangling. Then, I put on a shower cap and allowed this to sit for about three hours. I'd probably even sleep in this mask if I'm having a really bad hair week (which is pretty frequent for me).
Step Two: Rinse & Detangle
Next, I make sure I this masque is rinsed out completely (per Jasmine's instructions) and sectioned my hair to make sure it was completely detangled. Since where I live in Denver is EXTRA dry—and so is my hair––I applied Mielle's Rosemary Mint Scalp & Hair Strengthening Oil (Target, $10) on my scalp and mildly split ends during this process.
Step Three: Get Twisted
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My least and favorite part of this process is getting twisted, which took me about two hours to get right. While my two-strand struggle was real, Mielle's Multivitamin Rosemary Mint Styling Cream (Target, $10) had enough slip for my grip to snap even the most unruly curls into shape. I then applied Flexi rods at the ends of my twists and went TF to bed. I allowed my twists to stay in for about two days, and no mom, I didn't go anywhere with these rollers in my head.
And then, it was judgment time.
The Final Results
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As a naturalista-in-training, I wasn't sure what results to expect from this experiment, but if all else failed, I could rest assured that my hair smelled good as f*ck.
After applying a generous amount of Mielle's Rosemary Mint Scalp & Hair Strengthening Oil (Target, $10) to my finger tips, I unraveled my twists and discovered a curl pattern that I forgot existed. While I would suggest adding a leave-in conditioner to this routine to help curls stay fresh longer, and I still need some practice before perfecting my twist-out, this collection gave me the hydration and definition that I needed to say goodbye to my bundles for a while and finally embrace my natural hair.
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Featured image courtesy of Pretty Honore/xoNecole.com.
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The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak