Are tampons and maxi pads yesterday's news?
After reading an article where model Lauren Wasser lost her limbs because of symptoms related to Toxic Shock Syndrome (TSS), I started to question myself, and my reasoning for using tampons. That week, I saw several products online for natural tampons, cloth maxi pads, and menstrual cups, that I had not noticed before. I started thinking, do I really need to use tampons and maxi pads? I’m aware that it is the media’s job to instill fear into the public, to some degree. Well this time it worked. Seriously, at one point I was scared that my vagina would cough and die. So I did a little research on alternatives to over the counter tampons and maxi pads.
According to the Mayo Clinic, TSS is rare, but it does happen, and has been historically associated primarily with the use of super absorbent tampons. Most women experience TSS after five hours of using a tampon, because tampons were not designed to be worn more than that time period. But I’m a heavy sleeper, and I grow tired of waking up in the middle of the night wondering if there is a horse head in my bed, when really I just had another leak from wearing a tampon or a maxi pad for too long (pads are also not designed to be worn more than five hours).
So I decided to give a menstrual cup a go. Being the cheap woman that I am, I went with the disposable, Softcups brand. I figured that if the product didn’t work, no Walgreens was going to take a used, $40 menstrual cup back for return, so I had better go disposable to see how I liked it first.
I went to my local Walgreens, and I asked the pharmacist, a dude, where I could find the menstrual cups. Mostly because some pharmacies (I hear) keep them in the pharmacy area, and not the feminine hygiene area. He was slightly confused, and probably disgusted. Well, at least his expression looked that way.
He was kind enough to get a lady clerk to help me find them. So I asked the lady clerk where I could find the menstrual cups. She was confused too. After some explaining, she gave me the package, and said, “Let me know how you like those thangs, baby doll,” in her hard, Southern accent. She said the thought of putting a cup up her tooter was weird, and she wanted to know if it actually worked, or if it was a “thing." I agreed to come back and give her a full report, and went home to try out my new cup.
So this is where things get weird. I got home, sat on the toilet, and got ready to insert that bad boy. It ended with a broken cup (don’t ask me how that happened), and a little back pain. Then I realized that I was probably doing it all wrong, and began to read the directions. (Yeah, I know it was a dumb move). Sure enough, I was doing it all wrong. Back pain was totally not part of the equation. And turns out, you don’t insert it like a tampon.
You push back, not up. Finally, the back pain was gone, but I have a low cervix, so this contraption is going to feel weird anyway.
But that’s just a minor inconvenience. What’s great is that it lasts 12 hours, and I can pee and poo wearing this thing. I did have a little leakage when I urinated, but the old lady on the Softcups website says that it was totally normal. Whew! But you don’t know how happy I felt when I woke up the next morning with no leakage, no stains in the bed, and best of all, no odor! (You can turn up your nose if you want, but every woman has had an odor in her lady parts. It’s part of life.)
Either way, I was happy. No more changing my tampons every hour (because I’m a big water drinker), no more changing tampons before sex, and no more asking co-workers for tampons when Mother Nature starts creeping on a come up. I was in bliss! Plus, one pack of disposable cups costed me less than $6 with my Walgreens card, and about 12 came in the pack. One lasts 12 hours, which means that I used an average of 3 vaginal cups during my heavy flow days. On my light days, I used a panty liner (hey, I’m still a work in progress). Can we say that I was geeked to already be saving money? I would have already annihilated half a box of tampons by day three of my menstrual cycle.
The old woman on the Softcups website also said that you could have sex wearing one. Whaaaat! I was ready to take that bad boy for a test drive with my husband! But he came down with the flu earlier that day, so no nookie for me.
But whatever. Me and my tiny vagina felt liberated. I’m feeling myself for sure.
Have you ever tied a menstrual cup? What’s your take on it?
RELATED
Â
VIEW THE FULL ITGIRL 100 LISTÂ HERE.
Don’t forget to also check out the ItGirl Directory, featuring 50 Black-woman-owned marketing and branding agencies, photographers and videographers, publicists, and more.
THE ITGIRL MEMO
I. An ItGirl puts on for her city and masters her self-worth through purpose.
II. An ItGirl celebrates all the things that make her unique.
III. An ItGirl empowers others to become the best versions of themselves.
IV. An ItGirl leads by example, inspiring others through her actions and integrity.
V. An ItGirl paves the way for authenticity and diversity in all aspects of life.
VI. An ItGirl uses the power of her voice to advocate for positive change in the world.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for daily love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
The origin of the word "discipline" can be traced back to the Latin word "disciplina," which means "instruction" or "teaching." Over time, however, discipline has come to be synonymous with punishment, with parents relying on shame, fear, and/or physical pain to curb undesirable behavior.
Teaching takes time, so nipping it in the bud in whatever fashion parents deem necessary (within reason) has become the norm. But is this what’s best for children? And when does it become less about curbing undesirable behavior and more about getting our licks back for offenses we feel our children should know better to do?
In my work as a parenting coach, I’ve often heard parents say, “I asked him nicely three times before spanking him. He didn’t stop doing it until I did, so clearly talking doesn’t work.”
And the parent isn’t wrong. Talking often doesn’t work the first, the third, or the even the 10th time. And the reason is directly tied to brain development.
Children cannot and do not process information the way an adult can. Auditory processing is not fully developed until a child is 14 or 15 years old. And even then, if a child has auditory processing delays or Auditory Processing Disorder (APD), they may always struggle with processing auditory commands. According to Susie S. Loraine, MA, CCC-SLP, the term auditory processing refers to how the brain perceives and interprets sound information. Several skills determine auditory processing ability—or listening success. They develop in a general four-step hierarchy, but all work together and are essential for daily listening.
Without this understanding, discipline can easily become revenge because parents will then view their child’s misdeeds as a personal slight. Instead of teaching them to do better, parents now want to show them the consequences of not doing better. This is why it's imperative for parents to discern between discipline and revenge to maintain healthy relationships with their children.
5 WAYS TO DISTINGUISH BETWEEN PARENTAL GUIDANCE AND RETALIATION:Â Â
​Understanding The Intent
Discipline is rooted in love and concern for the child's well-being. It focuses on teaching lessons and helping children understand the consequences of their actions. Conversely, revenge-driven actions stem from a desire to inflict pain or punishment as payback for perceived slights or disobedience. Parents should reflect on their motives before taking disciplinary actions. Ask yourself whether your intention is to help your child learn or to make them suffer for upsetting you.
Example: If a child accidentally breaks a valuable item, a disciplinary response would involve discussing the importance of being careful and working with the child to come up with a way to replace or fix what they’ve broken. On the other hand, a vengeful reaction might involve yelling, harsh punishment, or bringing up past mistakes to intensify guilt.
​Maintaining Emotional Regulation
Effective discipline requires parents to remain calm and composed, even in challenging situations. It's natural to feel upset or frustrated when children misbehave, but responding with anger or resentment can escalate the situation and blur the line between discipline and revenge. Before addressing the issue, take a moment to breathe and collect your thoughts.
Example: If a child cannot follow instructions, a disciplined response would involve calmly explaining why their cooperation is necessary in working with the child to accomplish the goal. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve shouting, name-calling, or resorting to physical punishment out of anger.
​Promoting Growth and Learning
Discipline should always aim to promote growth and learning. It involves guiding children toward making better choices and understanding the impact of their actions on themselves and others. Effective discipline strategies include positive reinforcement, setting clear expectations, and providing opportunities for reflection and growth.
Example: If a child repeatedly forgets to complete their chores, a disciplinary approach would involve discussing the importance of responsibility and finding solutions together, such as creating a chore chart or setting reminders with Siri or Alexa. In contrast, a revenge-driven response might involve imposing overly harsh punishments or belittling the child, which can undermine their self-esteem and hinder their ability to learn from their mistakes.
Momo Productions/Getty
Building Trust and Communication
Trust and open communication are essential components of a healthy parent-child relationship. Discipline should strengthen this bond by fostering trust and encouraging children to confide in their parents without fear of judgment or retaliation. When children feel safe and supported, they're more likely to accept discipline as a form of guidance rather than punishment.
Example: If a child admits to breaking a rule or making a mistake, a disciplined response would involve listening to their perspective, discussing the consequences of their actions, and working together to find a solution. Conversely, a retaliatory response might involve accusations, blame, or shutting down communication, which can erode trust and damage the parent-child relationship.
Seeking Professional Guidance
Parenting is a learning journey, and, disciplining children is a delicate balance between guiding them toward responsible behavior and nurturing their growth. By understanding the intent behind our actions, maintaining emotional regulation, promoting growth and learning, building trust and communication, and seeking professional guidance when needed, as parents we can help our children built on love, respect, and understanding.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Courtney Hale/Getty Images
