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I Took A Burlesque Class That Helped Me Reclaim My Sensuality
From losing my virginity to a loser on top of a garbage can outside of a convention center, to that time in college when a man I was making out with refused to take "no" for an answer and entered me without permission, sex hasn't always created the happiest memories for me.
For me, even with the most compatible partners, an encounter that should have been vulnerable, fun, and exciting always turned out to be a scary and gut-wrenching experience that I couldn't wait to be over.
It wasn't until recently that I discovered that I may possibly be suffering from a form of PTSD that was preventing me from experiencing pleasure and making my sex life a nightmare. All my life I've had to fight for an orgasm, and now I realize that my partners weren't always the problem.
Now, with a new potential partner and more than a year's worth of pent up sexual aggression, I find myself rejecting and even sometimes being fearful of intimacy. But recently, I traveled to a mountain top in Estes Park, Colorado where I discovered the secrets of Oshun and unlocked the sexual goddess that has lived inside of me all along.
Girl Trek's Stress Protest is an annual event that focuses on getting Black women all the way in alignment, even when it comes to their sexual energy. Healing is the name of the game when it comes to this retreat, where judgment is non-existent and physical, spiritual, and emotional wellness are king. During the 3-day experience, a number of classes were offered and there were two courses that immediately stuck out to me.
The first, Awaken Your Sensuality Using the Ancient Secrets of Oshun, was led by the creator of Sex on Sundays, Kadi Janna, founder of The Pleasure Alchemy; and the other was a burlesque class taught by Headmistress of Brown Girls Burlesque, Tutu Toussaint. While at first, both classes felt equally intimidating, I knew that the only way to overcome my trauma was through it, and let me tell you, an herbal bath and a burlesque class got my yoni all the way together.
Courtesy of GirlTrek
During these classes, I learned a lot about sensuality and even more about myself. Most importantly, that I am worthy and deserving of love, sex, and pleasure without shame, guilt, or ridicule. Living in a world where your femininity, even as a child, is constantly attacked and violated can be discouraging, but rediscovering self-love and sensuality can be the key to reclaiming your time and your energy, sis.
I caught up with Kadi and Tutu after class, who gave me the tea on getting my groove back after losing touch with my sexuality and developing a fear of intimacy; here's what I learned:
Sensuality Heals
Courtesy of GirlTrek
While before taking Tutu's class, I would have never known that burlesque was alive and well in this day and age, and now, I don't want to live without it. An art form that has evolved tremendously over time, a Burlesque show is characterized by provocative routines, rambunctious spectators, and glamorous costumes, which are all combined to create one deliciously sexy striptease.
Tutu, a New York native who entered the industry only years ago, said that Burlesque is responsible for saving her life and encourages every woman reading this to find a class in her city ASAP. She explained, "It's healing. It opens up the door and can be like a portal into something that you think never thought you had, well you didn't believe and were told you didn't have. I think just having courage, even if that's just to take a class, that is the first step of practicing courage in your everyday life. Burlesque can do that."
Sensuality Is A Ritual
In Kadi The Pleasure Teacher's class, I learned about the African Goddess, Oshun, and although I don't practice Lucumi, an African religion that originated in West Africa, I must say that sis was the truth. While there are stories of Oshun stopping wars by showing her breasts, the deity is representative of more than just the influence of the male gaze, she is the embodiment of self-love and sensuality. Kadi told xoNecole, "Oshun is a true depiction of the Divine Feminine and its beauty and majesty. We learn how to be sweet and womanly from Oshun. We also learn how powerful and important feminine energy is."
In Kadi's class, I learned that I could channel her energy at any given moment by drizzling myself in a golden bath featuring a few of Oshun's favorite ingredients. The Pleasure Teacher explained, "I will take a bath in a minute. The baths are not a magic pill that makes everything go away. The baths are a tool or ritual to use when we are out of alignment. The essentials for the bath are room temperature water, Florida water, flowers, essential oils, honey, and intention, the most important ingredient."
My Sensuality Is Mine & Should Be Protected At All Costs
Courtesy of GirlTrek
While Kadi and Tutu's classes were both very different, they each brought me to a similar conclusion: sex doesn't suck. I just haven't been doing it right.
If self-love and courage are the keys to having the best orgasm of my life and accepting my body as the sexy vehicle of strength that it is, I'll take two, please. A lesson in the art of striptease and a crash course on the history of Oshun allowed me to explore and discover my sexuality without shame, guilt, or fear, and I have confidence that today, my sex life is better for it.
Registration for Stress Protest 2020 starts October 1st, click here to get your tickets before it's too late!
Featured image courtesy of GirlTrek.
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
This article is sponsored by Hulu.
UnPrisonedhas returned for its highly anticipated second season, delving deeper into the complex dynamics of the Alexander family.
The series premiere comes a year after its debut season garnered rave reviews from fans and critics and earned record-breaking ratings for Hulu's Onyx Collective brand. UnPrisoned's success can be attributed to its raw, relatable themes and comedic appeal.
Inspired by creator Tracy McMillan's life, the show follows Paige (Kerry Washington), a therapist and single mother whose life takes an unexpected turn when her father, Edwin (Delroy Lindo) --who was released from prison-- moves in with her and her teenage son, Finn (Faly Rakotohavana).
Throughout UnPrisoned's first season, viewers witnessed how Edwin's incarceration deeply affected Paige's life and relationships. In the series, Paige unpacks her trauma through interactions with her inner child and her online followers. Meanwhile, Edwin is overcoming specific struggles with his own past that led to his life of crime, including a dysfunctional upbringing and his mother's arrest. As the Alexanders attempt to reconcile, new challenges arise.
This new season promises to further explore their unconventional family dynamic. Here are several compelling reasons why season two of UnPrisoned should be on everyone's watchlist.
The Alexander Family Life Is Still In Shambles
UnPrisoned's second season resumes where the series left off, with Paige grappling with the fallout from her troubled therapy practice and Edwin navigating life independently after moving out. Meanwhile, Finn faces his own challenges. The teenager is battling anxiety and seeking information about his father—a topic Paige avoids discussing.
The Alexander Family Are Attending Therapy To Resolve Their Underlying Issues
Amid the chaos in their lives, the Alexander family decides to mend their bond by confronting their past traumas. They seek professional help and attend therapy sessions with a “family radical healing coach,” played by John Stamos, a new cast member. This collective effort aims to unravel the complexities of their shared history and strengthen their relationships.
The process of unraveling each character's internal conflicts and their potential impact on future relationships may clash with Paige's textbook therapy approach. While Paige is used to being in the therapist's seat in both career and family, this forces her into the unfamiliar role of a patient during therapy sessions. This shift would compel her to look in the mirror and try a radically different approach.
The Alexander Family Learned A Big Lesson During A Therapy Session
In therapy, the Alexanders are tasked with addressing their individual traumas to salvage their remaining relationships. One of the family therapist’s eccentric suggestions was an exercise involving a family wrestling match. During this session, Paige faces tough questions about her refusal to share information about Finn's father.
While it's unclear whether this scene is reality or fantasy, the image of the family duking it out in the ring certainly makes for hilarious yet compelling television.
Paige Tries Dating Again Following Failed Relationships
Amid her life's chaos, Paige decides to step back into the dating field. However, her many attempts have left her with mixed results. The dating apps have turned out to be a fail, and an outing with her ex Mal (Marque Richardson), who is also her father's parole officer, doesn’t go quite as expected after he brings an unexpected guest – his new girlfriend.
The situation takes an awkward turn when Mal's new partner learns why the former couple split, partly due to Paige's self-sabotage.
UnPrisoned Is A Perfect Balance Of Comedy And Drama
As a dramedy, UnPrisoned takes a comedic approach to its heavy subjects. The show takes us on a ride with Paige's dating misadventures and navigating a friendship with her ex.
Other lighthearted moments include Edwin's attempts at CPR based on online videos and, of course, the antics of the Alexander family's unconventional new healing coach.
The second season of UnPrisoned is now available on Hulu.
UnPrisoned | Season 2 Trailer | Hulu
Feature image courtesy
The Summer Events You Need To Elevate Your Social Network And Social Circle
When we say we’re outside this summer, we mean a little more than the clubs and happy hours.
This summer feels different from the others following the pandemic. It seems everyone has caught the bug for forming new connections outside the digital worlds we’ve built for ourselves. This is evident in the recent rise of social clubs, supper parties, and curated third places that cater to a variety of interests, backgrounds, and tastes.
No matter the city you’re in, countless events are being designed to help us all expand our social circles, make new friends, and create unforgettable memories. From coast to coast, there's no shortage of fun and engaging activities and whether you're into festivals, workshops, or social meetups, there's something happening near you that’s sure to pique your interest.
So, if you’ve been looking to find your chosen family, pick up a new hobby, or simply seize the social season, we’ve curated a list of the best events and engaging activities for you to ensure the rest of your summer is filled with laughter, learning, and a lot of new connections!
Sad Girls Club Summer Tour - Ongoing Events
Multiple Cites
The Best Day Ever Fest - August 10th & 11th
Portland, Oregon
SIP N’ SLAY Summer Fest - August 27
New York
Black Girls In Art Spaces - Ongoing Events
Multiple Cites
Everyday People - Ongoing Events
Multiple Cites
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Featured image by Willie B. Thomas/Getty Images