As Told To is a recurring segment on xoNecole where real women are given a platform to tell their stories in first-person narrative as told to a writer.
This is Lindsey Walker's story, as told to Charmin Michelle.
Here I was, walking into the treatment center for the very first time. I was walking as slowly as I could.
The center was unlike anything I could've ever expected, and nothing like what we've seen in the movies. There were so many people there: young, old, some full of joy and hope, others in so much pain you could see it in their eyes. I wondered how everyone had gotten to this point and if it were anything similar to how I had gotten there.
Everything was a blur; I was terrified of what my life was. Or wasn't.
I remember how welcoming the nursing staff and my oncology team were. They were warm and kind, truly concerned about my well-being. They tried their best to prepare me for what was coming my way, but there was nothing they could've said to ease me into the experience to be honest. It all happened so fast...
The Arrival of Cancer
One random day I was on the phone with my friend when suddenly, my breathing was out of sync. I told her something was wrong and that I was having difficulty breathing at all. I hadn't been feeling my best up to this moment and I had been running fevers for an entire week, so she urged me to go the hospital. I immediately called my mom and asked her to take me to the emergency room.
While we were there, they did X-rays on my chest and found a mass sitting directly in front of my heart, which was why I was having trouble breathing. The doctors decided to admit me.
Huh? Admit me?
A mass?
What does that mean?
The next day, the doctors came in to my room and asked me a series of questions. They then decided to do a biopsy to determine a clearer understanding as to what the mass was. Before I knew it, I was being whisked away and prepped for surgery, scared out of my mind. I woke up with a chest tube in my side and I had to do breathing exercises. After about a week, they let me go home as we awaited the results of the biopsy. A few days later, I started running fevers again and had to go back to the hospital and one of the doctors demanded to see my tests. By this time, they had me on the "Unknown Floor"—meaning they didn't know what my diagnosis was.
I was laying in the hospital bed when one of the doctors came in to tell me that I'd been diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma. The exact date was July 3, 2018. I later found out that it was in Stage IV.
Growing up, I could have never imagined this would be something I would have to battle through, although this wasn't the first experience with complications. Raised by my mother, grandmother and great aunts as an only child, I was born severely premature (my mother had me at 23 weeks), so my family was quite overprotective of me as a child.
So, when I was formally diagnosed, it took me a while to process any emotions, thoughts, and optimism—even with all that I had dealt with in the past.
Chemotherapy is...Hell.
My world transformed into a dream that I just couldn't seem to wake up from. I immediately thought about the fact that I was 27 years old, single, with no children. I wondered what was going to happen to me.
Would I ever be married? Would I have the opportunity to have children?
I thought about everything that I always wanted to do, but hadn't done yet. I thought about my family, my friends. I wondered why God allowed this to happen to me.
Where did I go wrong? Why me?
I wasn't angry at God. I was just hurt and confused. How could I allow my life to get to this point? I felt betrayed. I betrayed myself. I didn't take care of my health as much as I should have, and I allowed myself to be put on the back burner for the sake of my friends and family. I should have been more selfish. But even in the midst of this life-altering situation, I knew that if I was going to make it through, I needed Him by my side—now more than ever.
As I heard the doctor mention chemotherapy as a treatment option, that was the first time my diagnosis hit me, and the first time I cried because of it.
Mainly because I was so against chemotherapy from the start. The day I was diagnosed, my mother and I had a full-blown argument because I didn't want to do chemo, I wanted to heal naturally. She told me that it wasn't an option or up for discussion. She told me that I had to do it. I knew this was real and it wasn't going away on its own or just because I wanted it to.
So, I won't say that I chose chemotherapy—it was chosen for me.
But I am so grateful that my family loved me enough to fight for me when I didn't have the understanding and capacity to make the right decision for myself.
Anyway. Listen guys: to be completely honest, chemotherapy is pure hell. I was stuck with needles multiple times, I sat in pods for hours, uncomfortable and in so much pain. One of the meds that I had to take burned internally as soon as it entered the bloodstream. I experienced various side effects, including mouth sores and a blood clot that hit me so hard I could barely walk.
I learned to prepare my mind for each visit after a while. I would make sure I drank plenty of water so that I could avoid getting stuck more. I would listen to sermons for moral support—it was still tough. But not tougher than me. After twelve chemo rounds, my cancer disappeared.
Ladies, I was cancer-free!
Lindsey Walker
Image via Ashlee Nicole/Artistry Studios
Life as a Survivor
One day, while undergoing treatment, I decided to look up the definition of "cancer". The Greek version literally means "burden." At the time, I'm not sure that I knew that, but I knew that at the same time. I had been carrying the weight of perfection and trying to please other people so much to the point that my burden manifested itself. Even prior to my diagnosis, I was hurting from the pains of my past. And it took my diagnosis to wake me up to that so that I could finally release the things that tried to paralyze me spiritually, mentally and emotionally.
You see, before I had cancer, I didn't think to define it. To me, cancer was just a really bad thing that sometimes good people have to go through. But my diagnosis forced me to look at life in a deeper way; such as the way I treated myself, or how I allowed myself to be treated.
So, this particular “burden” taught me lessons that paralleled everything I ever thought I knew.
On another note, there's so much to be said about our healthcare system today, especially given the current climate. I think more patients need to learn to advocate for themselves concerning their treatment plans, how they are cared for in hospitals, etc. Hospitals must realize that patients are more than just a number, they are people with families and feelings.
Don't be afraid to speak up for yourself, if you feel that something is wrong, despite the doctors orders, say something. And say something yesterday. It can make all the difference in the world. It could save your life.
As for me, I learned to listen to myself and my body. I learned to put myself first and care less about what others had to say about me, my life and my decisions. I learned to love myself for who I am and be gracious to myself. I'd spent most of my life trying to fit into this box that I was never meant to fit in the first place. I learned to give myself permission to be whoever I needed to be for me.
And I learned that I, Lindsey Walker, can defeat all of my burdens. Even if it's cancer.
For more of Lindsey, follow her on Instagram.
Featured image courtesy of Lindsey Walker
RELATED
Now, with more than 20 years of experience in professional aviation, starting with American Eagle Airlines and then on to becoming a captain at American Airlines, she has continued to pay it forward. In 2022, she made history as the first commercial airline captain to lead an all-Black, women-led flight crew. She has also written a biography on Bessie Coleman, the first African-American and Native-American woman to earn a pilot’s license, and produced and directed, Discovering Bessie Coleman, working alongside the family to get the project completed. Add to that her role as a founder of consulting firm LadyAv8rBeth, which offers a guide of pathways into aviation, and as a podcast host covering all things aviation.
For Women’s History Month, xoNecole caught up with the busy pilot, in between flights, to talk about her career journey, her role in a Bessie Coleman documentary and book, how she balances self-care and safety, and how other Black women can add to the aviation legacy:
xoNecole: You’ve built an successful career in aviation. And you were only 15 and already had your first flight. Were you afraid at all, or did it feel like second nature to you?
Beth Powell: It felt completely natural. There was no fear, just excitement and curiosity.
Now, it’s what they call STEM, and my teacher at the time thought that I was really good at numbers. He recommended three career paths, and I tried the first one.
I didn't understand why it made sense back then at 15, but as I grew up and met other pilots, I recognized that the reason I liked math and physics was that we were technical learners. So we like to break things apart and put them back together. We like to check procedures. We like to write manuals. We were technical artists.
xoN: That’s such an important message. Many young women and girls are often discouraged from pursuing careers in STEM or aviation, so it’s incredible to hear your story. Now, fast forward a bit—how did you transition into your corporate career with larger airlines?
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BP: After that first discovery flight, I quickly finished my high school classes and graduated at 16. By 17, I had earned my private pilot’s license, and by 18, my commercial license. Then, I moved to the U.S. to attend flight school in Florida. While working on my degree in professional aeronautics, I began working for American Eagle Airlines at just 21. Over the years, I’ve built my career and have now spent 25 years in the airline industry, including 14 years at American Eagle and 11 years at American Airlines. In terms of leadership, being a captain is key.
As a captain, I’m responsible for the aircraft, the crew, and the passengers. It’s a huge responsibility, and you learn a lot about leadership when you’re in charge of so much.
Being a captain definitely teaches you leadership. You’re in charge of every aspect of the flight from the moment you sign in to the moment you sign out. From overseeing the crew to managing the safety and well-being of passengers, you have to make quick decisions and take responsibility. Even when you’re starting out as a first officer, you’re learning vital leadership skills that prepare you for the captain role.
xoN: There's a lot going on with airlines right now that might make someone feel afraid in terms of some of the tragedies that have recently happened. How do you sustain your self-care balance and your resilience in the aviation industry when those sorts of things happen?
BP: I truly believe that aviation is still the safest and the No. 1 safest means of transportation. I say that proudly. For any airline, any pilot, any air traffic controller—anyone who works in the industry—safety is our number one priority. However, of course, we see things happening in the news, and it is concerning to passengers.
What I'm telling everybody to do right now, including myself, is that it's very important to have your source of strength. I'm a Christian, and one of my sources of strength is prayers. I go deep within my prayers every morning, and I pray to God, giving things that I can't control to him, and the rest— I can do my best to deal with.
No. 2 is meditation on the Deepak Chopra app. Ever since COVID happened, that was the first time I thought that I needed something more than just my prayers to help me go through to calm down the noise around me.
And last but not least, I'm really big on self-development. I read, I read, and I read. If your foundation is strong, you have something to build from. And so, when I read, I learn a lot about myself. I learn about what triggers me and when something triggers me. I literally hear the Kendrick Lamar song, "TV Off" in my head, because sometimes you need to shut the noise off.
xoN: That's amazing—the combination of faith and just being excellent at what you do. Now, how did you get involved with the Bessie Coleman project?
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BP: I sit on the board of advisers for an organization called Sisters of the Skies, and was at a gala celebrating with all our Black women of our achievements. At the end of the night, Dr. Sheila Chamberlain walked up to me. She was the first Black woman U.S. combat intelligence aviator in the Army. So, if she's walking up to me, it's very serious. She said, ‘I have a favor to ask.’ I said, ‘Yes.’ I did not hear what the favor was. I didn't know what she was going to ask me, but somebody like that walking up to you saying, ‘a favor’? The answer is yes.
She told me [the project involved] helping the Bessie Coleman family elevate the story. ‘I'd like you to ask your company if they will do a flight in honor of Bessie Coleman.’ I went to the different departments at American Airlines, and the rest was literally history. We did that flight on August 8, 2022, and it became a historical flight because everyone on that flight, from the ground up, was a Black woman.
Gigi Coleman, Bessie’s grand-niece, was also on that flight. We started chatting at the end of the flight. Another night, we were hanging out—Sheila, Gigi, and I—and she kept telling me she wanted to write a book, that she wished there was a movie, and that people approached her about it. Nothing had been done as yet. And I thought, sounds like another mission.
I literally took it on. We do have a documentary with the family sharing their perspective of who Bessie Coleman is. And we do have a book called Queen of the Skies.
xoN: For the young women who are looking for career paths in aviation, what are some skills they need to thrive?
BP: While you don't necessarily have to love math to be a pilot, technical knowledge is important. You’ll need to understand aircraft systems and aerodynamics. This includes weather patterns and instrument training. It might seem daunting at first, but the great thing about flight training is that it builds on itself. The more you learn, the more it all clicks. Also, aviation is constantly changing, and you need to be adaptable.
It’s a field where you need to be ready for anything, from unexpected weather to technical issues. Being open to learning new things and adjusting to change is crucial.
My daughter, who has her private pilot’s license, once said, “This journey is both challenging and rewarding. I feel like I’ve grown so much since starting.” It’s important to keep going, even when it gets tough.
To help others, I’m outlining how they can go from “zero to hero” as a pilot. I offer this information freely on my Instagram account, and it’s something I’m passionate about sharing. I want everyone to have access to the resources they need to follow their dreams.
For more information on Beth Powell, the Bessie Coleman documentary, and aviation career resources, visit LadyAv8rBeth.com.
Featured image courtesy