

"You're not going to work?" he asked me.
"No, I think I'm going to just stay here with you," I replied. "I miss you...haven't seen you in like two days..."
A smile slowly crept across his face just as I'd expected, and I noticed a little pep in his step as he got the kids dressed. Most of the time, if we want to have some mommy-daddy alone time, one of us has to take off from work. This time it was my turn. What would we do? Probably nothing but lay around in each other's company. But with two small children and opposite work schedules, the thought of being able to sit diagonal from him on the couch, and touch him with my cold feet was equal to any one of Black Twitter's $200 dates.
One of the things that attracted me to him most was his work ethic. We were in college and he was an accounting major. He didn't have a "real job" where he collected a paycheck and W-2 at the end of the year. Nor a fancy accounting internship or even a weekend retail job. He filled his gas tank, paid his phone bill, car note, insurance and his off-campus rent with the money he earned from playing the congas and timbales in a go-go band back home. I don't know what anyone else would see when they analyzed that, but me? I saw security. A man that would hustle to the bone to keep himself fed and clothes on his back.
And well...I was right. When those accounting jobs weren't coming in like he expected, he made a decision to take a job that wasn't a 9-5--heck it wasn't even in his field-- but allowed him more control of his income and more income period. He says he did it for me. And being newly pregnant, he did it for "us."
The night that he told me he would be working from 10:30 pm - 6:30am, my brain couldn't process the information. Huh? Like overnight? So I have to stay here by myself?
It's been that way for the past two years or so. I'm used to it, and I think we've adjusted pretty well to where it works for us. I don't have to fight him for the TV and I get to sprawl out on a king-sized bed all by myself. With his off-days being in the middle of the week, it's nice that he's still available during the day and evening so we can at least feign normalcy for a couple hours. But I would be lying if I didn't say that just sometimes I just wish he had a regular job. I wish it on the weekends when we have to wrap up our family activities by five or six so he can have a little time to rest before work. Or when he falls asleep as soon as I put the kids to bed so he can get an hour or two of sleep before heading off to another shift.
They say if you don't want a broke man, you have to deal with a busy one. Certainly not in all cases, but every week looking forward to Sunday and Monday nights ain't no way to live. Those are the only nights we actually get to enjoy each other's company. The other nights we're rushing to get the kids to bed by 8:30 so we can at least get a solid hour of "how was your day?" type of conversation. Most of the time we have those types of conversations over the phone. 7 am when I'm on my way to work and he's on his way home. Or 4:30 when I get off and he's just waking up if he even goes to sleep. We rarely get a Saturday night to go out on a date, or even a "let's pop some popcorn and throw on Netflix since the kids are asleep.
[Tweet "If you don't want a broke man, you have to deal with a busy one."]
If you find yourself relating to this story, you may also find yourself wondering how we keep the spark. Sacrifice and thoughtfulness. To be quite honest, for him it never really feels like sacrifice. Taking off of work to just “be" is my favorite thing to do, but here are some other ways to keep the firing burning when there's only one person around at a time to stroke it.
Lunch Dates
The security people at my job all know my husband because that's how often he pops up, forgoing sleep to take me to lunch wherever I want. I blush every single time I get that “come downstairs" text.
Schedule an Activity
Something my parents do that I think is cute is workout together with a personal trainer on Tuesday evenings. Find something intimate that you can learn from, push each other in and discuss later. Take lessons, watch a TV series, or prepare a meal together.
Simple Reminders
Grand gestures aren't always necessary or even feasible when there are children in the picture. If I'm at the grocery store, I'll pick up a cookies and cream Hershey's bar while in in the check-out. Or he'll come home and toss me a bag of Sour Patch Kids. When you haven't seen each other all day, it's reassuring to know that your mate was thinking about you while doing even the most menial task like grocery shopping or getting gas.
In the grand scheme of things, effort is the most important factor. And he most definitely shows me that. So, of course it makes me feel really bratty to complain about not getting to see him. I know he prides himself on being a provider and he does a great job of that. But sometimes, I just want to stay up late and have "sleepovers" like we used to. I know eventually we'll get that back. So for now, when I walk into the bedroom to find him sleeping after I've put the kids to bed, I'll continue to just kiss him on the forehead and give him an A+ for effort.
Do you have a busy man? How do you handle it?
Chaunece Woods is the creator of the Real Life Actually blog. Here to remind you that it is not a requirement to lose yourself in a sea of dirty diapers and spaghetti sauce in your transition to Mrs. Mom, you can catch her there sharing her adventures in boo-loving, mommyhood, passion, and purpose and on Twitter @Necewrldpeace.
From '106 & Park' To Prime Time, Rocsi Diaz Is Still That Girl
Rocsi Diaz is no stranger to the camera. From her iconic run on 106 & Park to interviewing Hollywood heavyweights on Entertainment Tonight, she’s been at the center of culture for years. Now, she’s back in the hosting chair alongside none other than Deion “Coach Prime” Sanders for We Got Time Today, a fresh talk show exclusive to Tubi.
The show is exactly what you’d expect when you put a media pro and a sports legend together—a mix of real talk, unfiltered moments, and guest interviews that feel like family kickbacks. As the duo wraps up their first season, Rocsi sat down with xoNecole to talk about teaming up with Deion, the wildest moments on set, and why streaming platforms like Tubi are shaking up the talk show world.
Scoring the Gig & Clicking Instantly with Deion
Photo by Paras Griffin/Getty Images for Essence
Deion Sanders had been dreaming of hosting a talk show, and when Tubi came calling, it was only right he made it happen. But before he found the perfect co-host, he held auditions with different women for the spot.
Lucky for us, Rocsi threw her hat in the ring, and the connection was instant. “You just can’t buy chemistry like we have,” she tells us. “We are legit like big brother, little sister—fighting, cracking jokes, telling each other off. When you watch the show, it’s like watching family.”
Mixing News, Culture & Sports—Minus the Snooze
With We Got Time Today, Rocsi and Deion cover everything from the latest headlines to celebrity tea and, of course, sports. But instead of stiff, rehearsed segments, the show keeps it loose and unpredictable.
“We’re not breaking the mold—it’s not rocket science,” Rocsi jokes. “We just bring our own flair, our authenticity, and our personalities to it. Deion has firsthand experience in sports, so when we talk about athletes, he brings a different perspective.”
And the best part? Unlike traditional talk shows that rush through quick interviews, We Got Time Today actually takes its time. “A lot of shows might give you one or two segments with a guest,” Rocsi says. “With us, we actually sit down and have real-life conversations.”
Her Top Guests (So Far!)
From music icons to relationship experts, the show has already had some unforgettable guests—but a few stand out for Rocsi.
“Ice Cube was our first guest, and he’s just legendary,” she says. “Kirk Franklin had us cracking up when he broke into a full choir freestyle for our Christmas special. And anytime we get Dr. Bryant on to put Deion in the hot seat? That’s my favorite!”
And of course, there’s Nick Cannon. “Nick was amazing,” she adds. “You already know he’s going to bring the energy and say something wild.”
Tag-Team Hosting with Deion: The Inside Scoop
While Deion Sanders is best known for his football greatness, Rocsi says he’s also one of the funniest people she’s ever worked with.
“He’s goofy—like, really goofy,” she laughs. “A lot of people didn’t know that side of him, but now they do. He can crack a joke, and if you’re too sensitive, good luck, because he will go in. But the best part? I throw it right back at him! Sometimes we just look at each other like, ‘Okay, that was a good one.’”
But beyond the laughs, she admires his insane work ethic. “Watching him juggle everything he does is just super admirable,” she says.
How "We Got Time Today" Brings That "106 & Park" Energy
Photo by David Livingston/Getty Images
For those wondering if We Got Time Today feels like 106 & Park 2.0, Rocsi says it’s a whole different vibe.
“The only comparison I’d make is that it’s a destination for the culture,” she explains. “It’s a platform where our people can come, feel safe, and have real conversations. But other than that, this is Deion’s world—we’re just having fun in it.”
The Talk Show Shake-Up: Why This Show Hits Different
Unlike traditional networks, We Got Time Today lives exclusively on Tubi, proving that streaming platforms are changing how we watch talk shows.
“Tubi is giving more people opportunities and making content more accessible,” Rocsi says. “Deion is a huge Tubi fan—he literally loves Black cinema—so it just made sense for him. And honestly? He’s got me watching it too!”
Real Ones Only: Women Holding Each Other Down
Rocsi credits her best friend, Chantelle, for always keeping her grounded. “She kept pouring into me, reminding me of who I am,” she shares. Even Deion Sanders makes sure to give her flowers, often calling her “the hostess with the most.”
In the industry, she’s built lasting bonds with women like Julissa Bermundez, Angie Martinez, and Angela Yee. “Julissa and I still kick it—her house is basically Sephora, so I just shop there,” she jokes. She also cherishes her friendships with Melyssa Ford and Robin Roberts, who have offered unwavering support. “Robin has always been there for me,” Rocsi says, reflecting on the wisdom she’s gained from the legendary journalist.
With the show’s first season wrapping up, Rocsi is grateful for the experience and excited for what’s next. “We’re having a good time, and the audience can feel that,” she says.
And if you haven’t tuned in yet? Well, Rocsi and Deion got time—so you might as well make some too.
Catch We Got Time Today now streaming on Tubi!
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I Took A Three-Week Solo Trip To Portugal & Learned The Art Of Slow Traveling
As I write this, I'm sitting by the pool at the Octant Douro, a swanky hotel reminiscent of the Kanye West minimalist aesthetic. I promise I'm not saying this as a flex. I'm sharing this because I want this for you, too. Hello. #BlackGirlLuxury. This week marks the second of my three-week solo trip to Portugal.
If you're wondering: "Why Portugal?" You're not alone. Most people in my world have asked the same question. After my first trip here earlier this year, I fell in love. I only visited Lisbon then, but that was enough for me to feel affection for the country.
As my birthday approached, I wanted to plan another trip, and oddly, the prices for hotels and flights in the States were double and triple the price of even the best accommodations in Portugal. So, I booked a Premium Select ticket with Delta (which was also very reasonable) and started to plan. But on this trip, I wanted to do things differently. Not only did I want to explore additional cities, I wanted to try my hand at slow travel.
So instead of taking flights from city to city, I am traveling by train and car.
So, What is Slow Travel?
Like many things, the definition of slow travel is different for everyone. For me, slow travel means swapping out planes to travel by train, car, or any other means that requires me to slow down and has less impact on the environment.
How Am I Traveling?
My first stop was in Lisbon, where I stayed for a day before I started my journey to the north of Portugal. Before I landed, I weighed the cost of a car ride versus a train ride to Porto, which is just about a three-hour ride. The car service cost was nearly four times the cost of the train. So, I opted to take the high-speed tilting train: the Alfa Pendular. The train can travel up to 220 km/h (140 mph). I paid 51 euros for the three-hour journey.
A flight would have been just under an hour, but the environmental impact of that quick trip was at the top of my mind. Train travel is proven to emit much less carbon dioxide (CO2) than air travel. And with global warming, everything we do counts. Additionally, on my three-hour train ride, I realized there is so much you miss when flying over the cities. The scenery was gorgeous, and the ride was relaxing even when we were tilting. There was even a cafe car that offered sandwiches, coffee, and snacks.
After exploring Porto for four days, I visited wine country in the Douro Valley. I booked a car service for that trip which was just under 200 euros for the two-hour journey. What I didn't account for was the twisty, cliff-bending ride. It was beautiful but terrifying. But, like most places in Europe, the train is available, which I learned from a couple at Quinta Nova—a hotel nestled right in the middle of a UNESCO heritage site (an area legally protected by the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organization) and a vineyard—once I arrived.
Because I was too chicken to endure the cliffs when time to leave the mountainous terrain, I took the train from Ferrero to Penafiel, which only cost me 8 euros versus the 200 I'd spent on my trip there. Did the trip take double the time? Yep. But the ride was much less stressful and cheaper, and I got to travel like the locals. There was a little hiccup when I got to my stop. There were no Ubers. But luckily, there was a table of white-haired guys playing cards that happened to be taxi drivers.
This week, I'll take a six-hour train ride south to Algarve from Porto (a 30-minute car ride from where I am now), and then I'll take a car ride to Seville, Spain. It's a lengthy journey, but I'm still very excited about the experience.
If you're interested in traveling at a slower pace, there are a few things to keep in mind.
1. Give Up Scheduling Every Moment of Your Trip
I did tons of research before my trip, which set me up for success. But at the same time, things happen. For example, I missed my stop on the train and got lost. I also booked an Airbnb Experience way too far from my hotel, so I missed it. And it wasn't a cheap booking. So, unfortunately, money was wasted because I planned a little too far in advance without a full view of where things were. Sometimes you can only learn that as you travel.
2. Stay Present
Some travelers say to travel slowly, you must give up your technology. Well, that doesn't work for me because I'm still working even though I'm in Europe. But, I'm filming moments that I want to be able to reflect on, even though I'm not posting them. So, instead, I'm grabbing a little video and putting my phone down for the rest of the day.
3. Book Experiences that Support Local Makers and Artists
People always ask me how to get photos I love and plan tours as a solo traveler. Airbnb Experiences are my jam. I've used them since I planned my first solo trip to Cuba. Not only do you get a chance to make memories and learn new things, but you're supporting the local economy, which for me, is a big win.
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Originally published on September 6, 2022