Porn was my first taste of what the male g spot was all about. It's like the one we have, but in men, it's located in their prostate. My interest in the male g spot came about one day when the porn I was watching got a little stale for me. I was becoming increasingly interested in the world of domination and submission and somewhere in my search results, I came across femdom.
Men would relinquish their bodies to the surrender of dominating women. They'd whip them, spank them, perform cuckhold, make them bury their faces in various places, and for some, it meant pegging. It was my first time being exposed to heterosexual men enjoying anal and being the one receiving it. Legs were up, on their backs, sometimes bent over – they were absolutely loving it, and I was intrigued by it, and oddly turned on.
I visited the intersection of that sexual interest with my at the time boyfriend, Bryson, shortly thereafter. He was my first in a lot of ways, and was definitely the first there. What surprised me was the stigma that is inherently attached to that part of the male anatomy, especially in the black community, didn't seem to apply to him personally. For some men, their penis is the ultimate pinnacle of their masculinity – suck it, blow it, ride it, mold it, make it yours.
On the flipside, for a lot of men, their sexuality feels tested when the topic of anal or their ass comes into play. I, myself, used to operate underneath that societal lens that held sexuality this black and white thing, unable to see the shades of gray in between the extremes. The fact that he owned his desires made me feel confident with owning and claiming mine. He was up for trying anything once, and we found mutual interests in the same aspects of those encounters playing out in front of us.
I really liked that for a brief moment, Kanye West identified as a man fond of that persuasion. Not because he's Kanye, but because I like when people within my community are honest about what they like. So often we're not. Black women have things they enjoy that they will never admit aloud, but so do black men.
He would later vehemently deny it, which I get, but still, the mark was made. Amber Rose put it out there that sometimes men enjoy being fingered and that women are not the only ones on the receiving end when it comes to anal play in heterosexual relationships. A week later, R&B singer Tank talked to The Breakfast Club of his love of indulging in anal play in the bedroom after a 26-year-old lover put him onto the sex act at the age of 18. He has a boundary of no fingers, but he welcomes a woman's tongue and mouth. In regards to anal play, he says:
"I was a young man with an older woman, and she put me on to things. I still remember the first time... It felt compromising at first. But then I let go. It was tickling at first...but in about 10 minutes I was like 'get in there.' I was spreading the cheeks."
The external, obvious, dick way of getting a man to come is tried and true, but the secret to increasing the intensity of your man's orgasm is all inside of the body. I had no idea how deeply that reality was until I made him do it while my fingers were inside of him. I can only imagine how it feels based on my own experiences with vaginal orgasms during anal. It's this tantalizing mixture of pain and pleasure that gives lovemaking this intense, rigorous edge. I imagine prostate stimulation for men to be either a fraction of that or a heightened version of that. To hear his crescendo of pleasure as I wrapped my lips in a swivel up and down motion on his erection, as my lubed finger went in and out, in and out, in and out, was a powerful, thrilling feeling for me.
I always feel that power when I'm able to bring a man to his knees, even while he's lying down.
When I curled my finger inside of him as a “come hither," he almost lost it completely.
In the sexual encounters I have had since then, men are not too interested in exploring that side of themselves or their sexuality. They feel a lot like I did once: that you can't be straight if you allow your woman to touch you that way, thinking nothing of the fact that what happens between a man and woman does not alter your sexual preference or orientation. I make love in a sex life now where a light spank on the butt is considered “too close for comfort." It depends on your desires as individuals and your interests sexually as a couple, and while I don't believe I'll become quite as acquainted with the male g spot as I once was before, I still have my memories. At least there's that.
If nothing else, it was my first taste in what domination feels like. And I think I like that…
Have you ever encountered the male g spot? If you ever did, what would you do?
- Hitting the P-Spot | Psychology Today ›
- Pleasure Factory ›
- Male G-spot: why are men so afraid of it? | British GQ ›
- Do men have a G-spot? You asked Google – here's the answer ... ›
- 5 Tips on Finding the Male G-Spot ... Love ›
- What is the male 'G' spot? - mirror Administrator - Mirror Online ›
- Massaging the Male G-Spot | Sex & Pancakes – The Link ›
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
TikTok Says To Put Diaper Rash Cream On Your Face. Is That Good Advice?
Geeze, by the time this article actually runs, there could easily be 15 more updates on what’s happening with TikTok. Hey, I’m not exaggerating either because you’d literally have to be living under 10 tons of rocks to not be aware of all of the controversy surrounding it; especially when it comes to its impending ban.
And even though I’m not personally a social media (account) user, I must say that two things that I find to be pretty sad about where TikTok is headed (should it truly and finally come to an end) are one, all of the money that it’s going to cost its creators (I actually read that it will be close to a whopping $1.3 billion in the first month of a ban) and two, the fact that when it comes to researching things to write about, TikTok is so much better and easier than Facebook or Instagram (Mark Zuckerberg is a real trip right now; keep checking up on him too…SMDH).
A great example of this: learning about the diaper rash face cream trend that everyone seems to be raving about these days; especially on TikTok. Yeah, it all might sound crazy on the surface, but I’ve actually got some intel, along with videos from Black women who don’t regret putting something that was made for a baby’s butt (relatively speaking) all over their face.
Are you ready to see if it’s something that just might work for you as well?
Video credit: @_nvrseeme via TikTok
Diaper Rash on Your Face Even Has a Name: Face Basting
GiphyYou learn something new every day, chile. Personally, I think a big reason is because something new is made up all of the time. LOL. Take skin or face basting, for example. Now, unless you are someone who already puts diaper rash cream on your face, I’d be close to shocked if you know what that term means. If you’re like me — someone who just found out while conducting research for this piece — and you’re curious, skin basting is what happens when you want to do an overnight treatment on your skin with the help of diaper rash cream (face basting is when you apply it to your face only).
And just why would you do something like this? Well, for one thing, diaper rash cream tends to have a good amount of an ingredient called zinc oxide in it. It’s beneficial for your skin in a myriad of ways including the fact that it 1) helps to create a protective barrier on it; 2) can shield your skin from damaging UV rays; 3) locks moisture into dry skin; 4) helps to heal damaged skin tissue; 5) can help to prevent bacterial infections from occurring (or spreading); 6) increases the production of collagen; 7) slows down the signs of skin aging, and 9) can even treat dandruff.
If you add to that the fact that the lanolin and dimethicone (which are also skin protectants) are also in many diaper rash creams — hell, why wouldn’t you consider putting at least a dab or two of the stuff onto your face to see if it helps at all? I mean, GOODNESS.
Video credit: @staria_brantley via TikTok
Why Face Basting Is Better than Face Slugging
GiphyAnd what if you’re reading all of this and you’re thinking that face basting sounds a lot like something else that you’ve casually come across: face slugging? If that is the case, you may be wondering if there is a difference between the two. There is.
Face basting is about letting diaper rash cream soak into your skin for a significant amount of time. Face slugging is when you substitute the cream for a thick ointment like Vaseline or Aquaphor.
The method behind the madness of “slugging” is it could possibly help to heal dry skin and keep it soft for a longer period of time — although, to me, it seems like a surefire way to clog up your pores (so please report back, if you’ve tried this before). Plus, I can only imagine what your pillowcases and sheets end up looking and feeling like the next morning. Yeah, on the slugging tip, I’ll pass.
Video credit: @that.calliegirl via TikTok
Who Shouldn’t Attempt to “Baste Their Face”
GiphyAs you can see from the TikTok videos that I’ve interwoven throughout this article, some women are real fans of face basting. Still, that doesn’t mean it should be the go-to remedy for everyone. For one thing, if diaper rash cream only had zinc oxide, lanolin, and dimethicone, you might be all good; however, that isn’t the case. Mineral oil, fragrance, and other ingredients that are oftentimes in diaper rash cream could potentially irritate your skin.
Another thing to keep in mind is because diaper rash cream is also thick (like Vaseline), there is a chance that your breakouts could get worse due to potential pore clogs. Same goes for if you have oily skin or super sensitive skin (because a baby’s bottom has “tougher” skin than the skin that is on your face).
In all of these instances, if you want to see if diaper rash cream could be the skin remedy that you’ve been looking for, avoid the full-on basting and just apply a bit on your face. Wait a few days to see if there are any unwanted side effects and go from there — although it’s also a good idea to keep in mind that you can always purchase some plain zinc oxide ointment or speak with a dermatologist about what would ultimately be best for you.
Other Practical Uses for Diaper Rash Cream
GiphyWhew, chile. Now that you know what diaper rash can do for your face, you’d be more than warranted to be curious about if it can benefit you in other ways. The answer is actually…yes. Hangnails. If you “baste your nail cuticles” with it a couple of nights a week, it will help to keep your cuticles well-moisturized (since hangnails pretty much come from dry cuticles).
Vulvovaginitis. Vulvovaginitis is a technical term for irritation of the vulva. So long as you apply the ointment to your vulva only, it can help to bring temporary relief to itchiness or irritation (it’s good for girls as well as women, by the way).
Thigh chafing. If thigh chafing is something that you deal with,the zinc oxide that’s in diaper rash cream can serve as a barrier for your skin, so that it’s not as much of an issue.
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Personally, I’ve got a pretty good skin regimen going right now, so I’m not sure if I’ll be doing the face basting thing any time soon. Now nail basting? Diaper rash cream just might have me sold there. Because when you stop to think about the fact that you can get so much from a (roughly) $10 container or tube — why not?
Y’all, who knows if TikTok will be done this year. Just in case, let’s use this article as an opportunity to thank it for the hacks that sometimes do actually work.
Well done, TikTok. This time. LOL.
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Featured image by Delmaine Donson/Getty Images