What is a Virgo like in love? A Libra? A Sagittarius or a Capricorn? It's no secret, looking up the zodiac sign of a person we're dating is something we all do from time to time, whether we are a true believer of the zodiac sign and horoscopes, or if we casually dabble in the metaphysics here and there. Whether it's keeping up with horoscopes monthly or researching what a *insert zodiac sign here* man does in love or why he's distant, we've all managed to drink from the horoscope Kool-Aid at one point or another.
In the dating game, I've found that horoscopes, particularly what someone's sun sign is, is something a lot of us out here want to know quick, fast, and in a hurry for the sake of compatibility. Even deeper than that, we crave knowing what a person is like in love to gain insight into a person's good traits and bad, but to also get a glimpse into someone's feelings for us based on how their zodiac sign is in love.
To help you figure out the key to solving your love life puzzle, below is how each of the 12 zodiac signs are in love.
1.Aries In Love
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Aries are typically super friendly people, and that makes them get along with just about everyone. But like most zodiac signs, they tend to be most compatible with their elemental group, which includes Sagittarius and Leo. Aries can be bright, bubbly, upbeat, outgoing, and very much about that action. However, Libras, the opposite sign of Aries, makes a great connection in the bedroom. Libras are givers and Aries are takers, and that combination works well together when things get more intimate.
When the Aries falls in love, they are unapologetic and unashamed at how much they love their partner. They are also one of the mushiest and most romantic of the zodiac signs. Being in a relationship with an Aries will never leave you bored, it will always be full of fun. You can expect lots of travel, sex, and adventure from the Ram.
Read more about the Aries sun sign in love here.
2.Taurus In Love
People who are normally drawn to a Taurus are attracted to their chill and sensual vibe. Taureans are always down for a good time. In love, a Taurus mostly get along well will other Earth signs (Capricorns and Virgos). Their favorite subjects to talk about are home improvements, food, shopping, and, of course, money. After all of that, take a nap together to top off their experience. They are most sexually compatible with Scorpios because they both take pleasure seriously and are committed to adventure as well as climaxing. This makes for a truly intense sexual bond.
Be their friend first. Keep it simple and peaceful.
Read more about the Taurus sun sign in love here.
3.Gemini In Love
Governed by their intellect, a Gemini in love doesn't necessarily require the emotional connection that is often associated with romantic relationships. This isn't to say that they don't have the capacity to be intimate. However, their sweet spot lies in the meeting of the minds. Symbolic of the twins, these curious lovers aspire to come into union with someone who can match their mental astute. It's imperative that their lover be able to hold a good conversation and even offer insights that Gemini hasn't even thought of themselves.
Throughout their early life, they have a tendency to date around before fate unites them with their twin. Bear in mind, that they aren't expecting you to be exactly like them. In actuality, they want you to be so damn comfortable being your most authentic, eccentric self that you seamlessly just gel into their lives like two quirky peas in a pod. As a mutable sign that is constantly evolving, it's important that their lover be flexible and open-minded to how expansive their Gemmie truly is.
Read more about the Gemini sun sign in love here.
4.Cancer In Love
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When it comes to love, Cancerians seek security. They are also attracted to people with strong family values. Best believe, they will definitely judge you by the way you treat your mother. You'll get some extra brownie points if you make an effort to connect with their parents as well. If a Cancer allows you into their precious space trust that, in due time, you will become an extension of their own family. It may take a little time for these cautious lovers to warm up to you but once they put down their guards, you can trust that you'll have a devoted partner for life.
They just don't allow any ol' body to access that part of themselves. Given their indirect—and sometimes passive-aggressive—nature, it's important for a Cancerian's partner to be just as perceptive as their crabby lover. They may not always tell you when something is wrong and more often than not, they hope you'll just "get it" like they often do. Once you start to learn the changing rhythms of their lunar energy, you'll be able to navigate their moodiness with ease and grace.
Read more about the Cancer sun sign in love here.
5.Leo In Love
What's the Leo zodiac sign like in love? In love, this affectionate zodiac sign loves to shower their significant other with words of affirmation and gifts. But this doesn't come without them vetting you first. Due to their generosity often being taken advantage of, Leo has learned the hard way that even their giving must have limits. To be their happiest, they must have a partner who is equally as generous (if not more). Leo needs a partner who doesn't mind stroking their ego with lavish expressions of love. If these sultry lovers don't feel worshipped, then it's a hard pass for them.
Being in a relationship with this fixed fire sign will test your patience at times given their stubborn, know-it-all nature. Sometimes it's best to just let them lead than to pick a fight. This doesn't mean you need to be a doormat; however, these feisty individuals do like a little push-back that could eventually lead to some frisky play time in the bedroom. When it comes to sex, Leo typically likes to dominate and they take a lot of pride in satisfying their lover.
Read more about the Leo sun sign in love here.
6.Virgo In Love
When it comes to a Virgo in love, there's a lot to unpack when it comes to "The Virgin" of the zodiac. Don't get it twisted though. These individuals are the epitome of "a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets". Often mislabeled as prudish, Virgo is far from that. Now, yes, they can be selective (as anybody should be when it comes to relationships and sex) but once they connect with someone that truly sees them for who they are beyond their neatly packaged image, they will completely give of themselves to their lover. Their natural willingness to serve others makes them superior in the bedroom (that is, of course, if they're not consumed by performance anxiety).
Before you're granted the privilege of being sexually intimate with them, you must first put in the work of winning over their approval. As critical as Virgo can be of others, this is merely a reflection of how they are with themselves. Oftentimes, their own worst enemy, this analytical zodiac sign needs someone doesn't overthink everything. If you want to impress a Virgo, the easiest way to do so is by offering to help them with practical tasks like cleaning up, running errands, and making sure they eat in the midst of their hectic schedule.
Read more about the Virgo sun sign in love here.
7.Libra In Love
With Venus as their planetary ruler, it's rare that you ever find the lovebirds alone. Their natural affinity for being in partnership typically makes them an easy person to be with. However, be equipped to read in between the lines if you're getting romantically involved with a Libra. They have a hard time speaking up even regarding the most annoying, and sometimes even disrespectful, behaviors. This isn't to say that they're naive and willing to put up with being mistreated for too long. Just like with anyone, they have their breaking point, too.
As accommodating as they can be, in love, it's important that Libra have a thoughtful lover that is willing to give their personal helper a little assistance as well. Even though they are self-sufficient when it comes to their work, it doesn't hurt to offer some assistance which can be as simple as figuring out where the two of you will eat for dinner. Known for being ridiculously indecisive, a simple decision can turn into a day-long affair. Although their inability to make a quick decision can get annoying after while, you'll equally find appreciation in their ability to see both sides of a story.
Read more about the Libra sun sign in love here.
8.Scorpio In Love
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More than likely, a Scorpio wrote the prototype marriage vows particularly that one line that emphasizes "until death do us part." Once they're in a relationship, they are in it which typically grants them the wherewithal to deal with toxic bullsh*t a lot longer than most—all for the sake of an eternal love. They are literally obsessed with the idea of finding, and possessing, that one special person that just gets all of their weird ways that most people don't have the patience to understand. If you're thinking about partnering up with one of these sultry hotties be prepared to merge your souls-- possibly through some sort of blood binding ritual that will seal your fates together for all of eternity. *inserts evil laugh*
Exaggeration or not, a Scorpio in love aims to go deep (in more ways than one). Commonly known as the freakiest sign of the zodiac, they aim to please but don't mind taking on a more dominating role either. Remember—they're ancient ruler is Mars. During sex, they prefer a rough ride whether they're the ones getting pushed around or the one handing out the lashings while they have you handcuffed to the bed. There will never be a dull moment in the bedroom with these pleasers.
Read more about the Scorpio sun sign in love here.
9.Sagittarius In Love
With freedom being their top priority, Sagittarius usually takes the longest to explore their options prior to "settling down." In their younger years, it's typically best to allow them free reign. Committing at a young age can be disastrous for them and anyone they're involved with due to their wandering eye. Over time, they'll eventually get tired of the fleeting, whirlwind romances that don't seem to amount to much but a sexy situationship. Given their impulsivity, they can be promiscuous when single.
Once they actually decide they want to be in a relationship, it's important to keep things fresh to keep them interested. Not one for vanilla sex, Sagittarius wants a partner who is open to exploring some unconventional methods. Out of all of the zodiac signs, they'd likely consider an open relationship. As much space as they need to do their own thing, a long-distance relationship could be perfect for them.
Read more about the Sagittarius sun sign in love here.
10.Capricorn In Love
Typically, a Capricorn in love likes to take their time in building a relationship. Remember, they are an Earth sign so they're going to move a little slower but usually with good reason. With their legacy being an important factor, they have no problem waiting until they hit the genetic jackpot. As driven as they are, it's important for their partner to have their own thing going on so they don't suffocate the poor Capricorn who gets a bit squeamish if emotions get involved too quickly.
Secretly, these composed lovers desire to surrender to wild romance; however, their Saturnian nature won't allow their feelings to trump their logic. It takes a special person to see through this defense mechanism and to not take it personally when they're immersed in their work (it's their happy, safe place). They have a tendency to distract themselves with work when their feelings get stirred up. In due time, they'll grant you access to their precious inner world in which you'll begin to see the innocence and purity that lies within them.
Read more about the Capricorn sun sign in love here.
11.Aquarius In Love
With an Aquarius, or any sign, it's important to learn their love language. As a masculine Air sign, this isn't the most emotionally expressive zodiac sign (although you'd be surprised by the chaos that is underneath the surface of their steely-eyed gaze). Sometimes referred to as the Ice Queen/King, it can take a little time for them to warm up to a new suitor. In the earlier stages of a connection, they're enticed by the idea of picking someone's brain to figure out who they're dealing with. The road to intimacy is a well thought-out process so you can forget about this sign falling head over heels for you (unless they have some prominent Water or Fire placements in their chart).
Oftentimes, it's common for an Aquarius to end up pursuing a relationship with a long-time friend. They like to know that there is common ground between them and their partner that isn't solely based on a physical attraction or the oh so dreaded feelings. Sometimes they can send mixed signals in an attempt to create emotional distance and to emphasize their independence. If they're not careful, someone can easily take their approach as a lack of interest.
Read more about the Aquarius sun sign in love here.
12.Pisces In Love
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As a mutable Water sign, Pisces can be a little difficult to figure out but that's also the allure about them. On one hand, they can be sympathetic and compassionate, while on the other hand they can be distrustful and wounded. Not one to dive in head first, they prefer to test the waters before taking the plunge. In the beginning, Pisces will only reveal but so much as they do possess a mystique about them.
Once you've passed the test, they'll happily reveal their innermost self to you. Given their power of subtle influence, they have the ability to get their needs met—usually without even being direct. This is a result of their mastered manipulative streak which can sabotage the growth of the authentic relationships they deeply crave. Their sacrificial nature and giant hearts make them a sucker for people who are suffering. They are weak to a good sob story and love to be the one to pick up the pieces.
Read more about the Pisces sun sign in love here.
Featured image by Getty Images
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'We Had To Heal To Love': Taja Simpson And Ryan Easter’s Journey To Lasting Love
How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
One of my favorite things about interviewing married couples and hearing their diverse “How We Met” stories is the way they affirm true love and integral beliefs. One principle that I wholeheartedly believe is that one must truly know and love oneself before effectively doing it for another human being, and Taja Simpson and Ryan Easter’s story affirms this.
Taja, an actress known most for her role on BET’s The Oval, and businessman/model Ryan Easter tied the knot on July 27 in an intimate and beautiful wedding in LA - surrounded by friends and family. During our 40+ minute conversation, the newlyweds opened up about the inner work journey they both went through individually to become their best selves.
Taja revealed that her grateful and light spirit came after being in a depressive state and doing a great deal of healing and education. And Ryan shared how losing a parent as a youth affected how he showed up in the world and the truths he had to face to embrace who he is wholly.
The pair also chatted about the power of intention, the importance of working through trauma, and the work they do every day to honor their partnership. There’s a reason their glow is so beautiful! It comes from the inside.
“You're meeting me now after I've done all this work, but I had to go through it to get to that space and be in a very happy, healed relationship,” Taja says. Check out the layered conversation below.
xoNecole: I’ll start with the most obvious question: how did you two meet, and what were your initial feelings about each other?
Ryan Easter: We connected through friends. At the time, I was in New York, and she was back and forth between LA and Atlanta. But our mutual female friends were together and decided they needed to set me up. So they confirmed I was looking for something serious and then sent me her picture.
And I was like, "Okay, she looks good - a chocolate drop." But then I thought, "What's wrong with her? So, I called them up, and one of them was messing with me and said, "Oh, she's a little crazy." I was like, "Whoa, I can't do crazy anymore. I've dealt with that before. I’d rather stay by myself than deal with that again." Then she clarified, "No, I'm just kidding. She's crazy in a good way. She's a lot of fun and has her stuff together. That’s how it started for me.
Taja Simpson: I was just going about my life, getting ready for another season of The Oval, when I got a text from my friend Natasha. She said, "Hey, I don't think you're dating anybody, but I have a friend I think you should meet. He's a great guy." She gave me this huge pedigree, saying they had been friends for 19 years. I thought, "Wow, he sounds amazing." But when she sent me a photo, I didn’t like it.
Later, I thought about it and figured it could just not be a good picture. So she sent his Instagram which had all these modeling fitness pictures and stuff. And then I was like, wow - you had my whole husband this time and didn’t tell me - now I told her she could give him my number.
"I was just going about my life, getting ready for another season of The Oval, when I got a text from my friend Natasha. She said, "Hey, I don't think you're dating anybody, but I have a friend I think you should meet. He's a great guy." She gave me this huge pedigree, saying they had been friends for 19 years. I thought, "Wow, he sounds amazing." But when she sent me a photo, I didn’t like it."
Taja Simpson & Ryan Easter
Photo by @jorgemezaphotos
xoN: I love that because, you know, there's all these conversations about the ways people meet, and I still feel like friends and family are one of the best ways. It’s like they know you! What are your thoughts?
Ryan: Yeah, absolutely! You feel a great sense of obligation to be the best version of yourself because you’re not just representing yourself; you’re also representing the person who referred you. I can’t go out there acting like a fool and have them looking at their friend like, "Why did you hook me up with this clown?" It’s like, we're gonna be clear and honest about our intentions. And if it works, great, and if it doesn't, it's okay.
Taja: Exactly. When he called, we spoke that day for like, an hour. The rest was history. We just connected, and it was great. After that, we started talking every day, and now here we are.
xoN: Okay, so tell me about your first date! Do you remember where you went? What did you do? How was the vibe?
Taja: Our first in-person date was two months after we met over the phone. This was during COVID, so we got introduced in July 2020 but didn’t meet until September. From July to September, we were doing video dates and phone calls, building up this excitement about meeting in person. I was really nervous. I thought, "Oh my God, is it going to be like it was over the phone?" We really connected and vibed. I was there to pick him up at LAX, and I felt like this was it. I thought, "God put this brother in my life to be this good, this perfect." It felt too good to be true.
I actually had a friend meet us at the airport to film our meeting without him knowing. I told her to stay in the corner and keep the camera hidden. When he was coming down the escalator, I had this whole plan to run up to him in slow motion and jump into his arms. When I saw him, I froze. I was so nervous that I couldn’t move! He came up to me, gave me a big hug, and swung me around, and I just thought, "Wow!" Everything I planned went out the window.
Ryan: I was really excited to meet her, too. Technically, our first date was at Firestone Brewery. After the airport, we went back to her place to drop off my stuff, and then she said, "I like to drink beer," so she took me to a brewery nearby.
I remember being there, and we were kind of embracing, but not too much since it was technically the first time we were in physical proximity. You still have to play it cool, even after talking for a while. But every time I touched her, it felt good. I thought, "Yeah, this is it." When we hugged at the airport, I felt like, "Yo, this is home." At that moment, I knew she was the one.
xoN: Ugh, I love that. So when did the courtship start to develop into a relationship? Did y'all have that conversation?
Ryan: Initially, we were very clear about our intentions. We were both dating with purpose and had similar aspirations of eventually finding someone to marry, start a family, create businesses together, and live our lives to the fullest. We knew from the beginning that this was our goal and checked in with each other to see if we were on the same page.
After establishing our intentions, it was about having those small conversations. We discussed what was important to each of us—our needs, wants, likes, dislikes, triggers, and traumas. All those details are crucial for building a solid foundation for a healthy relationship. We spent a lot of time getting to know the real person, not just the representative we might present to the world.
Sometimes, it’s difficult because it requires us to be extremely vulnerable. For men, especially in our society, vulnerability is often frowned upon, making it hard to expose that sensitive side. You never know how people will react—some might use it against you, while others might protect you.
I think for her; it took her understanding that mentality that men have and use that to her advantage to make sure she's like, look, this is a safe space for you to allow me to see the full person that you are. I appreciated that because, like, I would tell her, if you really want a man to value you, he has to feel safe with you, right, not necessarily in a physical capacity but more so from an emotional standpoint; I need to feel like I can be safe with you emotionally.
So that courtship was a lot of just having those serious, sometimes difficult conversations about things we're going through in the past to things we aspire to accomplish in the future, to things that we're currently dealing with, and started to gain that understanding about who we are and what we aspire to be, and just continue to flow.
"So that courtship was a lot of just having those serious, sometimes difficult conversations about things we're going through in the past to things we aspire to accomplish in the future, to things that we're currently dealing with, and started to gain that understanding about who we are and what we aspire to be, and just continue to flow."
Taja: I mean, that's exactly right, and a lot of it we spoke about even before we met. Because it was this free thing where we didn’t know each other. We didn't have to be a representative. I was just my authentic self. It’s like - I'm an actor, and I got five or six characters that may come out in our conversation. I'll be funny, then the next moment, I'll be serious. It just happens.
I was very vocal about how I foresee my life going. Also, because I'm in entertainment, that played a part. I had met people before who couldn't handle that. They wanted a woman with a nine-to-five, a teacher, or just somebody with a very strict schedule. But that wasn't me. So I think we were super intentional when it came to dating and making sure we can build and grow together. So, we made that commitment prior to him leaving. He came to LA for a week, and the day before he left, it was like, okay, so this is it.
xoN: I’ve noticed that intention and vulnerability are both powerful words that you two keep using, which I think is essential for any long-term relationship. What are some of your other shared values?
Ryan: Also, we both understood the power of mindset. When you see successful or unsuccessful people, sometimes others will attribute their state to their family or money. And I'm not saying that that doesn't help. But there are a lot of people who have come from very humble beginnings and very troubled past that have gone on to do great things, and it all had to do with their mindset. They had to leave and see themselves doing what they desired to do before it became a reality in the physical realm.
I think a lot of those beliefs and mentalities that we shared was refreshing because, you know, we've all known people that every time you talk to them, something bad is going on. And it's such a drag because they can bring your energy down. We don't subscribe to that. Not saying that we don't go through tough times. But when we do, the question that we always ask ourselves is, what is it that I'm supposed to learn from this? I think those type of elements of just being in alignment mentally about how we view the world definitely help to solidify our relationship and our connection.
Taja: When we met, I was in a headspace of growth. We now call it believe, evolve, become because you have to believe that thing right in order to show up. We both understand that your vibration precedes your manifestation, so you have to vibrate and believe at a certain level. Act as if you have to be in that space, that energy, in order for that thing to come so you can evolve and then become whatever that said thing is. But I was in that headspace before we met, and I was clearing out people in my life.
I was really intentional with finding someone that was in that headspace, too. I was not okay with anyone being stagnant.
Taja Simpson & Ryan Easter
Photo by @jorgemezaphotos
xoN: You two seem so evolved individually and collectively. I'm curious, were there any challenges that you two had to get through together, and what did you learn from that experience?
Ryan: Being parents. And if your partner doesn't have a great pregnancy, then it can be tough, and it stretches you in a lot of ways. But I would definitely say the first five months of being new parents was a lot because we were both exhausted. And she's also trying to heal her body because giving birth puts a tremendous amount of stress on the woman's body. It gives you a different respect for the strength of femininity because I wouldn't want to go through that. And I was there the whole 29 hours.
So during that time I'm getting snappy because I need to rest. I have not been able to rest, and I'm sleep-deprived, and I don't feel like I got my foot in yet. And, and then, on top of that, you have this, this really small human that's completely dependent upon you. They can't do anything for himself, and that, even psychologically, that's a lot to carry. But the thing that I think that has helped us is that we understand that we won't always be on the same page. It's okay to have disagreements, but you always have to lead with love, meaning that if I'm upset with her or she's upset with me, we focus on what the issue is.
Taja: I had a horrible pregnancy and was still feeling like I want to be productive; it’s just part of who I am. And during the newborn phase, like he said, we were exhausted. We were zombies. I'm getting whiny. I need sleep. He's getting snappy and short, and we're having to figure out us. The hardest thing is trying to still learn how to effectively communicate in the midst of this space where you are exhausted; you don't feel good, nothing's going your way.
But I'm a big believer of being accountable, especially for women, because women are not always accountable. But we encourage each other to address the trauma and encourage positive self-thought and talk. Because what you think, speak, and do creates power for better and worse.
xoN: Were there any past traumas you had to heal from in order to love each other correctly, and do you feel comfortable discussing them?
Ryan: For me, the biggest thing was my father’s death at nine. You’re young, and you don’t know how to process the loss. It’s one of those things I thought I dealt with, but when I got into my adult years, I realized it didn’t. I always felt like I had to go above and beyond because I didn’t have my father there to be a man - I excelled in sports and academics, but it was based on an inadequate feeling.
I understand the importance of fathers in children’s life but you still have the power to be the best version of yourself whether your father is there or not. And I believe the almighty Creator will put people in your life to be the best version of yourself. I wanted to be that confident person for her and our children - and I didn’t want to carry that trauma into our relationship or our son. So I worked on it before us and I continue to now.
Taja: Mine was colorism. I grew up where the brown paper bag thing was a thing. There were kids I couldn’t play with because “I was too Black.” I had a family member who called me “Ew.” Like she’d literally say, come here, Ew, you ugly thing. And my family, for a long time, didn’t realize how it was breaking me. But eventually, my mom noticed and taught me more about self-esteem and then I started to do the work. But it still shows its head. I still would have thoughts that I’m not good enough because of how I look. I’ve literally not tried out for roles because of that. One of my friends’ friends has literally called out once that I was the only dark person at an event.
So when I started doing the work, I noticed the ways it showed up, like I just wouldn’t want to be in the sun long. I mean when I was younger, I used to pray to God to make me “better” or lighter. It took a long time to really get over that. There’s a book I wrote called Women Who Shine - where I got my thoughts out about this.
So he knows my sensitive spots and speaks to the little girl in me. It's so interesting how the things we go through when we’re young affect us in adulthood. Mental health is as important as physical health - and I’m grateful that he understands the importance of both of those.
xoN: Thank you for your vulnerability. I hope it helps someone else. Finally, I’ll close with this: what’s your favorite thing about each other?
Ryan: Definitely her mindset. She doesn’t have a victim mindset; she’s empowered. That’s so attractive. I believe that she prides herself on being a good, great communicator. She moves with integrity, you know, I think that's important. And you know, she also understands the importance of taking care of her physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing.
Taja: There’s so many. Where do I start? My husband is supremely supportive. I absolutely love that about him. Also, I love his intention. I love how effectively he communicates. I love how he fathers our child. I love how he looks. Because, praise God. Okay, I'm just gonna put that out there.
But you know what, my favorite thing about him is that I love that he's a man of integrity.
Integrity was the highest things on my list when I’d write out what I wanted in a partner. Because it’s everything. And so I love that I feel the level of safety that I feel with him, that I can completely be my 100% authentic self. I know that he's taking care of me, my heart, and our family. We're good.
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Feature image by @jorgemezaphotos
Years ago, I interviewed a Jewish woman who was married to a Christian man about how they make the holiday season work in their household. As someone who personally doesn’t observe holidays, a particular thing that she said has always stayed with me: “I don’t observe Christmas, but I can support the spirit of the season.”
Yeah, that resolve is something that I can get down with — and since sex is something that I write about, quite often, on this platform, I must admit that I do look forward to sharing some holiday-themed tips and hacks. For instance, in the spirit of Thanksgiving, check out “Here's How You And Your Partner Can Engage In Some 'Gratitude Sex'” from a few years back.
Or, if Christmas is your favorite time of the year, “Are You Ready To Have Some Very Merry 'Christmas Sex'?” may provide you with some holiday inspiration (speaking of Christmas, instead of rose petals, how about putting some poinsettia leaves on your bed? If you heard somewhere that they can be toxic, you’d have to eat like 500 of them for that to be the case, so no worries).
This year, along these same lines, I decided to share 12 creative things that you can do starting now through Christmastime. Each idea is festive, fun, and has its own aphrodisiac element to it that very well could turn this holiday season into some of the best sex that you’ve ever had. Ready?
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1. Snowstorm Sound Effects
Charge it to my mother being a New Yorker and/or me being born in Nebraska, but whenever I think of a romantic getaway, being in a log cabin that’s surrounded by nothing but pine trees and tons of snow is my idea of a really good time. Hmph, meanwhile, I’m writing this while Nashville is currently in the 60s-70s during the day. SMDH.
If you can currently feel my pain and you wish that you had a bit of snow around to get into the holiday season spirit, there are plenty of ASMR videos on YouTube that mimic snowstorms (like these here, here, and here) for you and your bae to cuddle up and listen or, umm, do other stuff to.
I mean, since science says that fall and winter are the best times for sex anyway (check out “Did You Know Fall & Winter Are The Best Times To Have Sex?”), why not do what you can to create as much of the ambiance as possible?
2. Paper Snowflakes (with Sexy Messages on Them)
Speaking of snow, when’s the last time that you’ve made some paper snowflakes? As a child, you may have created them for decoration. Now that you’re grown, though, put a bit of a twist to them by writing sexy messages on the back — you know, things like your favorite sex memory with your partner, a fantasy that you’d like to explore, or what you enjoy most about your man as far as intimacy goes.
You can put the snowflakes in your partner’s briefcase, underneath their pillow, or even hang them over your bed. If you’ve forgotten how to make them, no problem; click here for some instructions.
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3. Portable Fireplaces (or Flameless LED Candles)
Last year, I purchased something that I think is too cute for a friend of mine: tiny reusable bonfires. If you don’t happen to have a fireplace in your home, on some levels, they are the next best thing because they can create a romantic mood on a smaller level. I especially like tabletop firepits (like this one here) and even portable mid-century LED fireplaces (like this one here). Or, if you want something a bit larger, there are indoor tabletop fireplaces that are smokeless and odorless (like this one here).
Speaking of fires, if you and your partner plan on some R&B (meaning all night long) sex, I’d feel better if you went with some LED candles or something. You can put dozens of them all over your bedroom, have sex, fall asleep, and not have to worry about them one bit.
4. DIY Sex Gratitude Journal
How fitting is it that writer William Arthur Ward once said, “Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it?" Since Thanksgiving is the holiday when all are encouraged to express thanks for what they are truly grateful for, purchase a fresh journal, decorate it, and then fill it with things about intimacy with your man that truly moves you.
Then, read some of the entries out loud to him. Learning how to incorporate all five senses (in this case, hearing) into sexual activity (check out “How To Incorporate All Five Senses To Have The Best Sex Ever”) is how to make the experiences better than they’ve ever been.
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5. Homemade Candied Pecans
Pecan pie is pretty popular around this time of year. Well, did you know that pecans are considered to be aphrodisiacs? The main reason is that they are a fairly good source of zinc and zinc increases blood circulation, boosts your libido, and can even help with erectile dysfunction (if that’s something that your partner happens to deal with). So, why not curl up and snack on some homemade candied pecans (easy recipe here) while watching a movie or listening to some holiday music together? You never know how delicious the night may turn out to be because of it. Literally.
6. Cranberry (or Gingerbread) Syrup
A few years ago, I penned an article for the platform entitled, “12 'Sex Condiments' That Can Make Coitus Even More...Delicious.” In it, I shouted out chocolate syrup; however, today, I’m gonna go with something that is a little less…predictable. Chile, we already know that cranberry sauce is gonna be sitting on somebody’s Thanksgiving table, and there’s a pretty good chance that a gingerbread house (or at least some gingersnaps) is going to be available over Christmas, so why not pick up some cranberry or gingerbread syrup?
Since cranberries and ginger are both considered to be aphrodisiacs, it can be a super sexy move to dab a bit of syrup on some of your favorite sex pressure points (and his).
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7. A Lil' “Sex Christmas Tree”
Whether you plan on putting a (real, right?) Christmas tree in your living room or not, again, in the spirit of the holiday, get a small artificial one for a nightstand or the top of your dresser in your bedroom. Then you can hang a few sex-related items like flavored condoms, Santa hat nipple pasties, sex position ornaments, edible penis wraps, and picture strips — and whatever else your freaky lil’ mind can think of!
8. Edible Bows
Red velvet lingerie is definitely a nice touch during the holiday season. And although whether men prefer lingerie or nudity is really up to which guy you ask, I can’t think of one who is gonna have a problem with you wrapping your birthday suit up in a bow — especially if it’s an edible one. Yep, I actually came across a YouTube video (here) that walks you through how to make one of those. And although it’s not something that you can do in 10 minutes or less, I do think the end result will make it far worth the time investment. Don’t you?
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9. Pumpkin-Flavored Whipped Cream
Another sex condiment that I shared in the article that I referred to earlier is whipped cream. Since pumpkins are currently in season, acknowledge them by bringing some pumpkin-flavored whipped cream into the mix. You can always purchase the kind that’s already made (like this brand here), or you can even make a batch of your own (via a recipe like this here). That way, you can customize how sweet and thick you want the cream to be in order to stand up to your…plans. #wink
10. Bourbon Eggnog
Eggnog is definitely a signature holiday drink, and a few years back, I shouted it out in the article “12 Traditional Christmas Items That Are Low-Key Aphrodisiacs Too.” Why? Well, the vanilla, honey, and nutmeg that’s in it are all considered to be aphrodisiacs. If you add a bit of bourbon (which is a type of whiskey) to it, that can help to calm your nerves, which can ultimately make climaxing so much easier to do. A recipe for homemade bourbon eggnog is right here.
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11. Peppermint Chocolate Bath Bombs
Peppermint and chocolate will also be in abundance around the holidays, and, as life would have it, they are considered to be aphrodisiacs,too. So, whether you plan on soaking in the bath to prepare for what the night has to offer or you and your boo thang are going to hang out in the tub together (even better!), why not throw a few DIY peppermint chocolate bath bombs (recipe here) in there? The scent alone will make you want to turn each other into your desserts after you get up outta there.
12. Sexy Homemade Holiday Lip Balm
Even though I am well aware of the fact that some people hate to kiss (check out “Umm, What's Up With These People Who Hate Kissing?”), I also know that science says that kissing can help you find your ideal partner, and it can definitely make your sexual experiences better (check out “Wanna Climax More? KISS MORE.”). And although things like shea butter and batana oil (a personal favorite of mine) can give you some super smooth lips (after exfoliating them, of course), kissing will be even more scrumptious if you’ve got some flavored lip balm on.
A peppermint lip balm recipe is here (add a bit of Stevia, honey, or date sugar for flavoring), a chocolate lip balm recipe is here, and a vanilla lip balm recipe is here. Your man won’t be able to get enough of you — all holiday season long! ‘Tis the season, chile.
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