How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
For newly-engaged couple Jaleesa and Eric, their mothers were the catalysts of their love story. Jaleesa had no idea that a woman she'd known as an 'aunt' for most of her life would be the common thread between her mom and her soon-to-be mother-in-law. One night in New York would be the beginning of a forever with a love that the Bronx native couldn't have ever imagined. It all started with her mother encouraging her to thank Eric's mother at the function they had gathered at to celebrate the life of a loved one. From there, his mother offered to connect Jaleesa with her son, Eric. "I jokingly noted that I lived in L.A. and that I’m trouble. She responded, 'Well then, y’all can be cousins.' She showed me a picture of Eric and I immediately said, 'That’s not my cousin,'" Jaleesa recalls.
Jaleesa might have joked that she was trouble, but in their very first interaction, Eric could tell there was something special there and there was an attraction at first sight. His interest was piqued from the very first FaceTime call. She would need a little more convincing, but after some strategic liking of her Instagram pics, the connection between the two was established from there. And a year into the relationship, the 29-year-old knew he had found the one in Jaleesa. So much so, that he popped the question on the night of their anniversary. "I was so nervous and anxious all day. Not because I wasn't sure if she would say yes, but because this is such a life-changing decision," he admits to xoNecole.
The Sony Sniper
During a photo shoot at the Brooklyn Bridge under the guise of it being a shoot to commemorate their first year together, Eric popped the question to the HBO Multicultural Marketing Manager. He continues, "We are taking pics naturally posing in our element then the photographer directs Jaleesa to face the bridge, and I'm hyping her up like, 'It's giving boss,' 'It's giving big dawg,' 'It's giving HBO,' 'It's giving executive,' and the last one, 'It's giving fiancée,' and when she turned around I was on one knee. And Ja being Ja, after she wiped her tears before she said yes, she says 'Okay, okay, let me hear your speech,' and I spoke from the heart."
Eric surprised Jaleesa for a second time that night by taking her to a rooftop lounge where her mother, close friends, and immediate family had gathered to celebrate them and the next chapter of their love. "I love him so much and I’m so blessed that I get to spend my life with my life partner," Jaleesa affirms.
In this installment of How We Met, Jaleesa and Eric talk about how they met, courtship, and important lessons they've learned in love.
The Sony Sniper
How They Met
Jaleesa: I love this story. My mother and Eric’s mother have a mutual friend and she’s been an 'aunt' to me most of my life. However, their paths have never really crossed because they are in separate friend groups. For the first time, the friend groups came together to support my aunt during a difficult time in her life. I was there and at the end of the night, my mother said we should say thank you to Eric’s mom. Somehow [Eric's mom and I] ended up talking and laughing together, and she mentioned she had a son she wanted to put me on with. She FaceTimed him from my phone, but the reception was bad.
He texted me that evening to ask who it was and I told him “Hey Eric. It's Jaleesa. Your mother is trying to put you on, but I told her that I’m trouble.” He responded “What kind of trouble?” I loved the flirty response. I ended up going back to L.A. a few days later, and we didn’t get to meet in person. We spent the first month or so getting to know each other via FaceTime and phone calls. One day he said, "I have to come and see my baby." He flew to L.A., the rest was history, and now we’re engaged!
Eric: I believe it was a Thursday night. So I’m home that night watching TV, probably a basketball game. So I get a FaceTime call from my mother and when I pick up she's saying something to me but I can't really hear her because they’re turnt up over there. But I do hear her say, 'Hold on,' and she puts an unfamiliar face in the camera (Jaleesa) but the service is terrible so I can’t really see or hear what's going on. They then call from what I'm guessing was Jaleesa’s phone and it's the same thing, I can’t really see or hear anything but I was able to get a good enough view of Jaleesa to see that she was an attractive woman.
Later that night, I text that same number asking, "Who’s this?” Jaleesa states her name talking bout how my mom was tryna put me on but she's trouble and the slick talker that I am, I reply back and say, “What kind of trouble?” And I must say that was probably the line that reeled her in. After that night, we didn't speak for about two or three days and I’ll be honest I felt a little way so I went into my bag of tricks and searched for her Instagram, and luckily her IG handle is her actual name. I liked a few pics to get her attention and the next day I got a text from Jaleesa and the rest is history.
Kai Byrd
First Impressions
Jaleesa: When his mom showed me his photo, I was like Whew, this man is fine. My fiancé is fine. He has that bad boy look though. He’s 6’2'' and tatted up everywhere, so at first, I just thought he’d be someone I could entertain whenever I came to New York. I didn’t expect him to be such a genuinely good and loving man.
Eric: Like I said when I first saw her on Facetime, I thought she was attractive and I must say from that little 30-45 minute text exchange I felt like we had a little vibe going but I didn’t expect us to be where we are now.
First Date
Jaleesa: Eric flew to Los Angeles for the weekend. It was our first time meeting. My stomach was in knots. I thought I would throw up. I was so nervous but when I saw his face, all my nerves went away and I knew. This is my baby and the first thing I did was kiss him…very passionately. He planned an entire weekend for us. He never asked me once, “What are you into? What kind of food do you like?” He flew in from New York not knowing much about L.A. and planned a weekend of activities that consisted of a hike in Malibu, a fun activity at the Break Room, we did the Museum of Illusions, and a fancy rooftop dinner. It was beautiful. A man with purpose!
Eric: Our first date was a whole weekend and it was actually our first time seeing each other in person. I flew to L.A. and had a whole weekend planned for my baby and she ain’t even know it. She probably thought I was a corny dude that was just coming to shack up for the weekend but I had to set the tone and let her know that I didn’t come to play. The vibe from start to finish was unmatched and I have never felt anything like it before in my life. When the weekend ended, I dreaded having to go back to New York.
"I flew to L.A. and had a whole weekend planned for my baby and she ain’t even know it. I had to set the tone and let her know that I didn’t come to play. The vibe from start to finish was unmatched and I have never felt anything like it before in my life. When the weekend ended, I dreaded having to go back to New York."
Kai Byrd
Getting to Know Each Other
Jaleesa: As crazy as it sounds, I truly believe we fell in love during that month of courtship, before we even physically met. We spent our first weekend together and everything felt so natural. Eric was a gentleman from the beginning and extremely intentional. He’d surprise me with flowers and made every effort to show me he wasn’t playing about me. At the end of our first weekend, he told me it wouldn’t take him six months to figure out what he wanted to do with this and basically told me he was in love with me. I told him I felt the same and we’ve been committed ever since.
Eric: I'm going to give it to y’all raw right now. I don’t remember exactly what she said but the nature of the conversation led to an 'Okay, what is this' type of thing, or like, 'Are we dating or exclusive or what?' Ja wanted to know straight up. I told her, “I thought the weekend we spent made that pretty clear.” And that's all that needed to be said.
The One
Jaleesa: Eric left no room for anyone else. There’s just something about a man with purpose who is confident and romantic and who treats you the way you deserve to be treated. With Eric, I didn’t have to compromise. He gave me the world. He spoiled me and was extremely romantic. He is still very romantic. I don’t think I’ve ever been told where we’re going. He’s the “get dressed and be ready by 8” type of man and I love it. Choosing to be committed to him was a very easy choice. I was confident that there was no other man for me. That I truly had found my life partner.
I’ve spent a lot of time working on myself. On my relationship with God and on loving myself. I know what love feels like. I knew it was love when it felt exactly how I love myself. Nothing less.
Eric: Even from 3,000 miles away Ja was quote-unquote "applying pressure" in a way that I haven’t seen or felt before and when I say 'applying pressure,' I don’t mean she was pressuring me into a relationship, she was just simply setting the bar high. I was realizing that Jaleesa was the first person I wanted to speak to when I woke up and the last person I wanted to talk to before I went to sleep. And anytime in-between where we didn’t speak, which was very rare, I was wondering what she's doing, where she is, and why she isn’t texting me.
"As crazy as it sounds, I truly believe we fell in love during that month of courtship, before we even physically met. We spent our first weekend together and everything felt so natural. At the end of our first weekend, he told me it wouldn’t take him six months to figure out what he wanted to do with this and basically told me he was in love with me. I told him I felt the same and we’ve been committed ever since."
Kai Byrd
Favorite Part
Jaleesa: His spirit. Eric is one of the most loving, selfless, and gentle people I’ve ever come across. He is a genuinely good person with pure intentions. I love that about him. I also LOVE his voice. Lord. Those voice notes in the beginning really did something to me.
Eric: Jaleesa is very intentional with everything that she does but especially in regards to our relationship and her sense of humor matches mine. I tell people we are the real-life Martin and Gina from top to bottom.
Lessons in Self-Love
Jaleesa: Whew, I am still learning about the patience and grace that you have to give yourself through this relationship. I’ve spent so much time working on myself as a woman that I got into this relationship and thought I had all the answers. I don’t. I make mistakes. I still have things I have to unpack and unlearn. It’s very important to be patient with yourself and give yourself grace. Just because you know the type of relationship you want to have, and you may even have the tools to build a healthy, loving, relationship - that doesn’t mean that you know how to. That doesn’t mean you know how to apply those tools and so the relationship requires a great deal of self-awareness and patience.
Eric: I'm the type of person that will give you the shirt off my back and do anything in my power to help someone, especially if I love them but Jaleesa is continuously preaching self-love and how I need to put myself first more. Take more days off. Don’t pick up anyone's workload when they fall short. She is always telling me how she wishes I could just stay home and lay around and relax because I work so hard and often go out of my way to help the people closest to me, her included. Through our relationship, I’m learning how important it is to put myself first and what self-care looks like.
Kai Byrd
Shared Values
Jaleesa: Family and friendship are extremely important to both of us. We value family time and are very mindful about maintaining the relationships that are close to us. Loyalty. Infidelity is a deal-breaker for both of us and it's not something we’ll ever compromise on. For both of us, your word is important. That also comes from how we grew up. I grew up in the South Bronx and Eric is from Hollis. Your word is everything.
Eric: I like to make sure that no matter what we have going on we always, always, always make time for family even if we aren’t in the best of moods to do so. Family is everything. Another one is to say what you mean and mean what you say, then stand on it, and never compromise your character and who you are for anything. Stay sucka-free.
Baggage Claim
Jaleesa: We go to therapy every week and that’s truly been a game-changer for us in helping us navigate difficult conversations and unpack things from our past that I’m not sure we’d be capable of doing on our own. I’d say for me I really had to, and I am still learning how to, be more vulnerable and trusting. I always felt I deserved this type of love, but that doesn’t mean when it came into my arms I was the most receptive to it. I’ve had to get rid of that toughness and work on being more open and expressive and allowing my partner to see all of me and trust that he would love and support me through it. A healthy, stable, fulfilling relationship is built off trust, communication, and patience. You have to lead with love and can’t assume the worst of a person.
Eric: Therapy is extremely helpful. Shoutout to our therapist, that's my dog. Some bad behavior I had to unlearn was being more aware of how I move and set boundaries with women. I realized, in the beginning, that I was doing things that wouldn’t be okay based on the boundaries of our relationship and based on what we were trying to build, and still in building mode wasn’t fair to Jaleesa.
"I always felt I deserved this type of love, but that doesn’t mean when it came into my arms I was the most receptive to it. I’ve had to get rid of that toughness and work on being more open and expressive and allowing my partner to see all of me and trust that he would love and support me through it. A healthy, stable, fulfilling relationship is built off trust, communication, and patience. You have to lead with love and can’t assume the worst of a person."
Edrick
Lessons in Love
Jaleesa: I would say the most important thing that I’ve learned is that people that love you will still disappoint you and that doesn’t change the fact that they love you. My fiancé is an AMAZING man. Even the amazing men just do stupid things sometimes. That’s life. But what matters is that he doesn’t do anything that compromises my love for myself, the boundaries of our relationship, or my values. So when he makes mistakes I always check and say, “Is this a mistake or is this a reflection of his character?” I think it's very important to accept that people you love are not perfect and that you have to be able to work together and really be a team. I make mistakes every day too. I’m no different. Therapy too. Therapy really helps.
Eric: I never liked to look at love as a job but during this time with Ja, I’ve realized that loving someone unconditionally is a job because in our cases we fell in love before we even knew everything about each other or knew each other's flaws so we’re pretty much learning how to love unconditionally on the fly. And I feel like that's the most beautiful and at times that can also be the most stressful part of our relationship but we are a team and we always find a way to get to some common ground.
For more of Jaleesa, follow her on Instagram.
Featured image by Kai Byrd, courtesy of Jaleesa Diaz
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It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Alistair Berg/Getty ImagesStep 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Getty ImagesStep 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
DMP/ Getty ImagesStep 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
However, to my surprise, I received an email that read: “It’s with great excitement that we announce your film, Super High: A Period Piece, has been selected for the 24th Anchorage International Film Festival.” After looking at the flight distance from Atlanta to Anchorage—a solid 10 hours one way— I’d decided this would be one I wouldn’t attend.
That was until there was a follow-up email that shared that the festival was sponsoring two excursions for filmmakers: A Northern Lights Tour and A Glacier Hike.
With that, I knew I had to make the trip to the 49th state! I flew Delta, which offered the shortest layovers—just 50 minutes each way. For a more comfortable flight on the longer legs that were about six hours between my layover city and Anchorage, I upgraded to first class with an in-app discount for $256 (the regular price of a first-class ticket runs about $2,100), which was so worth it for additional space and service for the six-hour trek.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
"So What’s Alaska Like? Did You Have To Wear a Snowsuit? What’s the Food Like?"
These are among the major questions I’ve gotten. Anchorage reminds me less of a bustling major city and more of a small town with an easygoing feel. When I arrived, they’d just had snow a few days before, so it was cold, and the streets were slick. So, I was so happy I’d invested in a pair of snow boots. For my first few days, the locals said it was warm. Warm to them being 20s at night and mid-30s during the day.
However, by the time I left, fresh snow was on the ground, and temps were well into the single digits—and it felt like it. Oh, the sun doesn’t rise until 10:30 a.m., and it sets around 4 p.m. That was among the most challenging things to experience because I felt like I never really woke up. So, between the lack of sun and the four-hour time difference, I felt tired the whole time I was there.
As for food, I didn’t explore a ton because I was so cold. But I found two gems! First was Whiskey and Ramen. If you enjoy ramen and exceptional service, this is a must-visit. I’d make a trip back just for their Wagyu ramen and their special take on an old fashion!
And, for coffee, I thoroughly enjoyed That Feeling Co. The coffee was great, and being surrounded by plants helped to perk up my spirits.
The Northern Lights
Iceland is one of the most popular places to see the Northern Lights, so I was very excited to know that Alaska also gets to see the Aurora Borealis light show. Typically, many people visit Fairbanks to see them, but there are tours offered in Anchorage too! When prepping for the late-night tour, we’d heard that the night we were heading out to see the lights, the cloud coverage likely meant we wouldn’t be able to see them. Bummer. I know. So, we could sit the tour out or still try. But, in my mind, I was like, why would I come all the way to Alaska not to try?
So, at about 9:30 p.m., we piled into vans and headed out to chase the Northern Lights. We traveled about an hour and a half from Anchorage, and when we stepped out of the van, it was cold and pitch black. And unfortunately, after a couple of hours in the cold, those clouds in the sky never parted for us. I know that when we see the posts of people who do get to see Mother Nature do her thing, we don’t have all of the context of the science, which is Aurora Borealis.
Sometimes, the weather just doesn’t do what we earthlings would like, which can lead to disappointment. However, our guide did give a recommendation. When you book a trip to see the lights, give yourself four to five days to see them. Don’t bank on one day because, at the end of the day, this is science.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Now, On to the Glacier!
Just six hours after returning from the Northern Lights tour, we were up for the glacier tour because they were back-to-back! I was exhausted and so excited. If someone had told me I’d hike on a glacier, I would have given them a mean side-eye. I mean, where on earth does one climb a glacier? Let me share a few destinations with you, just in case you want to plan an icy adventure: Switzerland, Norway, Iceland, Chile, Argentina, and Alaska.
Aside from the fact the Matanuska Glacier is 22,000 years old, it’s the largest glacier accessible by car in the United States—27 miles long and four miles wide, making it one of the easier ones to see IRL. As a girlie with generalized anxiety disorder, I get anxious about doing this kind of thing because I know that to see these world wonders is usually a mountainous trek.
This one was two hours long, one-way, up snow-capped, windy, mountainous terrain. However, my therapist always reminds me to push myself to do what scares me (as long as it’s for a reason, of course). I held my breath for the journey there and back! And white-knuckled it from time to time, too.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Once we got there, we were surrounded by fresh, fluffy snow, and it was COLD! In the negative cold. I was thankful, I’d over-prepared. If you even go on a glacier tour, I recommend a few things: Balaclava, heavy-weight gloves, cashmere socks, snow boots, and lots of layers.
Here’s what I wore. My first layer was Ann Taylor leggings and a Wolford Turtleneck. Then, I layered a cashmere turtleneck and cashmere joggers. A COACH down vest, which I’d recommend anyone own just for winter, in general, because it’s SO warm! For my feet, I wore Ann Taylor cashmere socks (I love these because they’re affordable and so warm) and Adidas Adifom Superstar Winter Boot and topped all of that with a Brandon Blackwood ankle-length parka. I know BB is known for his accessories, but the brand’s outwear is truly amazing and worth the investment. After two hours on the ice, I felt great!
If you’re open to adventure travel, I highly recommend putting a glacier tour on your list of things to do. There are a few reasons. First, standing on an ice age-old massive piece of glacier was my 2024 version of touching some grass. I was reminded that I’m a speck on this spinning rock and need to spend more time grounded in that fact as I move through the world. I looked to the sky and thought of how proud my ancestors would be, even though I know they’d be telling me to get my butt home and off a dog on a glacier!
Secondly, I gained an ever-large appreciation for Mother Nature as I learned that glaciers are the world's largest reservoir of freshwater, containing around 69% of the world's freshwater. Again, another fact that helped me gain perspective. Lastly, it’s just fun and stunningly beautiful!
After this, I’m looking forward to my next cold-weather adventure! Iceland and Argentina are at the top of the list!
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Featured image courtesy of Bianca Lambert