When it comes to sucking dick, it’s deeply preferential. This preference is, in part, due to chemistry. As in, the more passionate I am about you, the more passionately I want to suck your dick. And that’s on “The girls that get it, get it.” This means that whenever I’m locked in with someone, I’m going to make a valiant effort to please them and shamelessly so. I’ll watch what I need to, ask what I need to — and you already know how raunchy girl talk can get. In fact, it was during girl talk that my friend shared excitedly how she sucked her boyfriend’s dick from the back and often.
And, my curious mind expanded with even more questions on a topic that I had yet to master and clearly had so much more to learn about. Because, how? How? How? What was actually required of a man who desired to have their dick sucked from the back? Does your man need to get on all fours or can they just bend over in a straddle? Does this only apply to those who are overly hung? If you’re anything like me, you’re probably curious too!
How To Suck Dick From The Back
But what you have to know is that this position is particularly pleasurable as it provides access to the anus, which is where the male g-spot is located, and also provides some spillover (in that I don’t think you can suck dick from the back without eating ass). However, that also means it requires a lot of vulnerability and fluidity in sexuality.
That said, I don’t think this position is an admitted favorite for several reasons, some of which you can find below.
Vulnerability and Comfortability
neon eat GIFGiphyHistorically speaking, masculinity is rather fragile and most men are highly opposed to butt play or anything close. With that said, this position will require communication and the creation of a safe space for your partner particularly if this is the first time the two of you have explored this position together. What’s too far? Do you have permission to venture off – place a finger or butt plug in their butt while you suck their dick from the back? You want to know these things before going in.
If you’re already a penis person who enjoys rim jobs, this is certainly a different approach to take as you get the best of both worlds. Real Hannah Montana shit.
Size Matters…Here
talk show lol GIF by iOne DigitalGiphyThere’s just no way around this. All bodies are not created equally, all dicks are not created equally. A short and stout dick is not reaching the back – it’s just not. Sorry. The average penis size is 5 inches, and I don’t know the tip to anus exact measurement but somehow it doesn’t require me to be a mathematician to see that the math aint mathing.
Reality vs. Porn
In writing this article, I asked a number of my guy friends about this position. As awkward as it was, they admitted this was not something that they had really done. Which makes me wonder if it’s just a fun expression that women like to say for a little razzle-dazzle when hyping up their man, or what? Is it some wild, fancy shit we saw in a porno and thought, ‘That’s a top-notch blowjob,' not giving much thought to the odds and reality? It definitely is a phrase that gets the people going, but I don’t know how desirable it actually is amongst cishet, run-of-the-mill men. It seems to me that it’s another projected concept from porn that’s not for the average couple.
More Comfortable…For Us
media.giphy.comDon’t let any of what I’ve said deter you from trying because one thing I did peep in mentally laying out the logistics is that it might actually be a more comfortable position for those of us whose jaws get uncomfortable when giving head. Why? Because there is now less penis that your mouth has to account for, providing a similar outcome as when you provide a handjob while giving your man head.
In that sense, sucking dick from the back could be a win-win for all parties involved.
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Motor City native, Atlanta living. Sagittarius. Writer. Sexpert. Into all things magical, mystical, and unknown. I'll try anything at least once but you knew that the moment I revealed that I was a Sag.
Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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There's something about snuggling up in your favorite blanket and watching a comfort show or movie on Netflix, and what better time to do just that than in December? As the weather outside gets cooler, staying in becomes more of the norm. Thus, Netflix and Chill is a go-to. Luckily, Netflix has released new Black films and series on their popular streaming platform.
From Tyler Perry's historical drama The Six Triple Eight, starring Kerry Washington, to the Will Packer-produced comedy starring Marsai Martin, Regina Hall, and Issa Rae, Little, this season is looking up.
See the full list below.
Little (12/1)
Regina Hall's character is a bossy tech mogul who has everyone scared of her, including her assistant, played by Issa Rae. However, when she transforms into her younger self (Marsai Martin), she learns how to be more kind to others.
Daddy Day Care (12/1)
Eddie Murphy stars in this film as a father who decides to open a daycare after losing his job.
30 For 30 Collection (12/2)
30 For 30 is an ESPN docu-series highlighting some of sports' legendary figures and moments. Some of the episodes include Winning Time: Reggie Miller Vs. The New York Knicks and Celtics/ Lakers: The Best of Enemies.
Jamie Foxx: What Had Happened Was (12/10)
In this special, the multi-talented Jamie Foxx returns to stand-up to give an unforgettable performance.
Blood, Sweat & Heels S2 (12/13)
The short-lived Bravo reality TV series documented the lives of a group of girlfriends making it in NYC. The show starred model-turned-podcaster Melyssa Ford, author Demetria Lucas, and the late TV host Daisy Lewellyn.
The Equalizer S1-3 (12/16)
The hit CBS show starring Queen Latifah is now available on Netflix. Watch the beloved actress kick ass and take names in this popular drama.
The Six Triple Eight (12/20)
The new Tyler Perry film starring Kerry Washington is a true story about the first and only Women’s Army Corps unit of color during World War II.
Christmas Game Day Ravens Vs. Texans (12/25)
While many will tune in to watch the Baltimore Ravens vs. Houston Texans game, others will tune in to watch Beyoncé perform during halftime.
Michelle Buteau: A Buteau-ful Mind At Radio City Music Hall (12/31)
Comedian Michelle Buteau's comedy special will focus on her life with twins, going viral, and much more.
Evil S3 (12/31)
While Evil was unfortunately canceled by CBS, viewers can rewatch the series on Netflix, with season three premiering December 31st.
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