

Whew, y'all. In this never-ending quest to gain some inches on this natural-haired head of mine, something that I've learned the hard way is that, while every part of our strands are important, you aren't going to get the results that you want if you're not giving the roots and the ends of your hair all of the TLC that it needs. And that is what we're going to tackle today. In order to have long and healthy hair (like YouTubers such as TheDaletiá, Janet Davies, Timaloveslemons, Maryam Hampton, All Things GhoCee and a host of others), you've got to nurture your hair follicles and preserve your ends. Here are 10 tips (five for your follicles and five for your ends) that will help to get you there.
1. Hair Follicles: Watch the Heat
Heat is an interesting topic when it comes to maintaining the health of your hair. I say that because, I'm actually someone who does a blowout every wash day and, ever since I've added that to my hair maintenance routine, I've seen more progress. For me, the key is to deep condition, apply thermal heat protectant, let my hair dry on its own about fifty percent or so and then use a dryer on a cooler setting. Doing this keeps my hair stretched (so that it's manageable with less fairy knots and tangles) which is a good thing.
Actually, what a lot of people don't realize is heat on your hair can actually benefit your hair follicles because it helps to encourage blood flow to the scalp. What you have to be careful of, though, is not applying heat that is too hot (like putting your blow dryer on high) or using heat too often. If you do, that can actually result in permanent damage to your hair follicles (which can ultimately result in hair loss). Even if you are able to dodge that consequence, a lot of heat will almost definitely result in you having dry and brittle hair (which oftentimes leads to breakage).
2. Hair Follicles: Massage Your Scalp with a Peppermint and Thyme Essential Oil Blend
Applying some peppermint essential oil to your scalp and hair is one of the best things that you could do. It's the kind of oil that contains antimicrobial, insecticidal, pesticidal, anesthetic and anti-inflammatory properties.
Because of this, peppermint oil is able to clarify your scalp, soothe it if it's itchy and stimulate hair growth. That's because the menthol that's in peppermint oil serves as a vasodilator; that's basically a fancy way of saying that it increases blood flow to your scalp and hair follicles so that your hair can get the nutrients that it needs. As far as thyme oil goes, not only is it another oil that stimulates your hair follicles, there are studies to support that when it's combined with an oil like peppermint, lavender or rosemary, it can even treat hair loss issues like alopecia areata.
I recommend combining two tablespoons of Jamaican black castor oil or olive oil, along with five drops of peppermint oil and three drops of thyme oil. Heat the mixture up in the microwave for 30 seconds. Apply it to freshly washed hair, massage it into our scalp, let the mixture sit there for 15 minutes, then rinse with cool water. Do this once a month for optimal results.
3. Hair Follicles: Apply an Aloe Vera Mask
Aloe vera is great for your hair, for a few different reasons. For one thing, if you constantly struggle with having a dry scalp, the antipruritic properties that it contains can help to soothe your scalp and keep it well-moisturized. It's analgesic anti-inflammatory enzyme known as bradykinase, along with salicylic acid, work together to reduce any inflammation that your scalp or hair follicles may be experiencing (this includes if you're someone who happens to get scalp acne). Something else that's cool about Aloe vera is it helps to balance out the pH of your scalp (more on that in a little bit). And yet, one more reason why you should add it to your hair care regimen is Aloe vera is a wonderful treatment for your hair follicles. Because the make-up of Aloe vera is very similar to keratin, when you apply it to your scalp, it has the ability to naturally strengthen your hair follicles. Not only that but the 20 different amino acids that Aloe vera contains will help to condition and strengthen your hair so that the roots of your tresses are healthy from the very moment they grow out of your scalp. That's why it's a good idea to apply an Aloe vera mask to your scalp, at least once a month. For tips on how to make your own, click here and/or here.
4. Hair Follicles: Detox Your Scalp
Sometimes, we forget that our scalp has pores, just like the rest of our body does. And, because a lot of us use hair products (not to mention the fact that we sweat and our scalp sheds dead skin cells), those pores can become clogged which can also lead to a slower rate of hair growth. A surefire way to keep your scalp healthy and thriving is to detox it. If you'd like more info on how to do that properly, no problem. You can check out an article that I already wrote on it. It's entitled "Treat Your Scalp To A Little Bit Of Detoxing This Weekend".
5. Hair Follicles: Eat More Protein
Have you ever wondered if you actually need more protein in your system than you're currently getting? Some signs that you could indeed be protein-deficient is you constantly feel weak or tired, you're always hungry (no matter how much you consume), you're always getting sick, your moods are all over the place and/or your skin, nails and hair don't seem as healthy as they usually do. Speaking of hair, yours is made up of mostly protein (keratin), so you definitely need to "feed your follicles" with foods that are loaded with it. Some of those include red meat and poultry. But if you happen to be vegetarian or vegan, some non-meat alternatives include lentils, pumpkin seeds, oats, almonds, quinoa, spinach and spirulina.
1. Your Ends: Balance Your Hair’s pH Balance
When it comes to what pH balance actually is, it's kind of a long story. The short of it is, it's the measure of how acidic and/or base something else. When something has a pH balance of 7, it's considered acidic. When something has a pH balance of 4, it's considered base. When it comes to our hair, its average is somewhere around 5. Something that can throw our normal pH balance off is shampoo, conditioner and other hair products. The problem with that is an "off balance" can lead to rough hair cuticles and, eventually, hair damage.
Something you can do to keep your hair's pH balance right where it needs to be is to clarify your hair with an apple cider rinse. Not only will it bring the balance back to where it should be, but apple cider vinegar also contains anti-fungal and antibacterial properties that can treat dandruff and other scalp irritants. Plus, it is able to make your hair softer and easier to manage. Just add a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar to a cup of water and pour it over your hair after shampooing in order to get the best results.
2. Your Ends: Seal ‘Em
Sealing ends is something that a lot of naturalistas know about. It's a process that helps your hair to maintain the moisture that is already in it, after you wash and condition your tresses. Because your ends are the oldest part of your hair, that makes them the most vulnerable. It also means they need moisture the most. That's why it's important to seal your ends in two ways. One, you should do the final rinse of your hair with cool water. The reason why is because a colder temperature can actually help to flatten and seal your hair's cuticles. Next, you should apply some sort of hair butter (like shea butter) or oil (like Jamaican black castor oil) to your hair while it is damp. By the way, a "sealant" that a lot of people rave about is good old-fashioned hair grease. If that sounds bananas to you, check out "Looking For Hair Growth? It Might Be Time To Bring 'Blue Magic' Back". The lead picture alone, just might make a believer outta you.
3. Your Ends: Use a Leave-In Conditioner
I'm one of those women who, no matter how much I deep condition my locks, my hair is gonna feel dry as the Sahara two days later, and dry tresses will definitely lead to breakage over time. What changed the game for me was putting a leave-in conditioner on my hair. There are a few benefits that come from doing this. It deeply moisturizes your hair. It helps to keep your cuticles nice and smooth. It can provide an extra layer of protection from heat styling tools as well as outdoor elements. And, my personal favorite, it can help to condition your hair for days on end. Hair that contains moisture is hair that is able to remain strong with a good amount of elasticity to it. So, definitely make it a point and practice to use a leave-in on a regular basis. What I use is Aunt Jackie's Quench – Moisture Intensive Leave-In Conditioner (I haven't encountered a better leave-in yet!). But there are plenty of others on the market. Or, you can make your own (check out some recipes here, here, here, here and here).
4. Your Ends: Dry Your Ends the Right Way

If you're someone who, after washing and conditioning your hair, you towel dry, maybe blow dry, and then simply go on about your business without giving any of that much thought, this could be why your ends are not as healthy as they should be. For starters, our hair is strong-yet-fragile (especially when it's wet), so it's best to use an old T-shirt to dry it rather than a towel. Otherwise, you could cause already opened cuticles to crack and your hair to become frizzy. Also, as much as possible, try and move your T-shirt in a downward motion on your hair so that the tee moves in the direction that your cuticles should be going (which is also downward). Same goes for blow-drying your hair. By pointing your dryer's nozzle (or using the comb attachment) in a downward position, that will help to flatten your hair's cuticles, making them less susceptible to damage until your next wash day.
Your Ends: Dust, Don’t Pull, Your Ends
In the quest for length retention, I get it if one of the last things you want to do is put a pair of shears to your hair. But if you don't trim your ends on a consistent basis, it can lead to tangles, split ends, a lack of shape or volume and, your hair actually not growing as fast as it could—or should. It's not because trimming your hair helps your hair to grow faster; it's that, by making sure that your ends aren't raggedy, that can prevent breakage. After all, if your hair is growing at the roots, but is constantly breaking at the ends, you're not gonna get the inches that you're looking for.
No one said that you had to get a professional trim, every 4-6 weeks. Matter of fact, stylists who aren't haters (you know what I mean, the ones who actually support you growing out your hair instead of always taking five inches off each visit) will tell you that every 4-6 weeks may not even be necessary. So long as your hair doesn't show any of the signs that I've just mentioned, you can probably go much longer without needing a trim appointment. Just make sure that you do consider dusting your ends from time to time. That's like doing a micro-trim where you use your own pair of shears to get rid of any split or damaged ends that you might see. If you do happen to notice some, always cut, don't pull. Pulling the ends of your hair, even if they are fairy knots, is a sure way to harm your hair's cuticles and create split ends in the process. If you'd like a few tips on how to properly dust your ends, click here.
Hopefully, this has given you a little more insight into how to reach your own hair goals. Just remember that, as long as your hair is actually growing, you can obtain length. It's all about taking the best of care of your hair—top and bottom. From the roots down to the very ends.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Celebrity Engagements Of 2025: All The Stars Who Locked It Down This Year (So Far!)
February might be in the rearview, but love is most definitely still in the air as the gworls are getting wifed up left and right. We love love over here at xoNecole, and 2025 is already shaping up to be a year full of celebrity engagements. Zendaya had the innanet in a chokehold when she kicked off award season flashing a stunning rock on her ring finger, and more recently, Normani announced her engagement to long-time partner DK Metcalf.
As more of our faves take that next step to saying "I do," keep reading for all the couples who got engaged in 2025. Stay tuned!
Every Celebrity Engagement of 2025 (So Far)
Normani and DK Metcalf
“Hold that rock up, baby!” That’s how DK Metcalf casually dropped the news of his engagement to singer Normani while speaking during a press conference that followed the announcement of his trade from the Seattle Seahawks to the Pittsburgh Steelers in a five-year, $150 million contract. And just like that, we all wanted in the group chat.
But before this love story led to a ring, it had to have its start. And for that, we can thank Ciara and Russell Wilson. The couple's mutual friends played matchmakers for Normani, 28, and DK, 27, bringing them together at a party for Ciara’s rum brand after DK had already manifested their love years earlier. “Me and Ciara are really close, and Russell and DK were teammates on the Seattle Seahawks,” Normani shared with Vogue.
“About two years prior to us even meeting, they were playing music videos in the locker room, and ‘Motivation’ ended up popping up on the screen. DK said, ‘The moment I saw you come up on that screen, I said, ‘That's going to be my wife.’’” At the time, Normani was in a relationship, but two years later, Ciara made sure the stars aligned. “I ended up going [to the party], and lo and behold, he ended up being there, and the rest is history.”
As for the actual proposal, DK had been planning it for over a year—initially hoping to pop the question during a family trip to Turks & Caicos. But with Normani focused on her album at the time, he decided to wait for the perfect moment. That moment came on March 12 during another family trip, this time to Houston, where he surprised her with an intimate proposal surrounded by their loved ones. To say that Normani was shocked is an understatement. “I was like, ‘Baby, you knew for over a year?’” she recalled to the publication. “To get anything past me for over a year is crazy!”
Swooning!
Winnie Harlow and Kyle Kuzma
There might be something in the water in Turks & Caicos because while DK Metcalf had dreams of proposing to Normani there, Kyle Kuzma made it happen for Winnie Harlow this past Valentine's Day. The NBA star popped the question to his longtime love in the same place they took their first baecation back in 2022, a trip that, according to Kyle, cemented his plan to propose to the fashion model one day.
The Milwaukee Bucks player went all out for the occasion, chartering a private jet decked out with roses, balloons, chocolates, and champagne, all of which Winnie assumed was just an elaborate Valentine’s Day surprise. But the real moment came when Kyle, 29, read Winnie, 30, a heartfelt poem he had written, which ended with the words, “Will you be my wife?” The 8.5-carat oval-cut engagement ring that accompanied it sealed the deal.
The couple celebrated with a dreamy beachfront dinner, fireworks lighting up the sky as Winnie held up her ring in disbelief. She later shared the news with her fans on Instagram in a post, writing “To eternity” alongside a carousel of photos capturing the magical moment.
Amber "AD" Smith and Ollie Sutherland
If you know the Love Is Blind lore, this engagement announcement is going to hit a little different. After all, AD Smith and Ollie Sutherland both made it to the altar in their respective seasons, but not with each other. Now, in a full-circle plot twist for the ages, the two reality stars found love off-screen, and they just made it official.
During the recent Love Is Blind reunion special, AD and Ollie dropped the bombshell news that they’re engaged! The couple met while filming the upcoming season of Netflix's Perfect Match, but while we don’t know all the ins and outs of how their love story began (yet!), we do know where they are now. The pair opened up more about their engagement on AD’s podcast, What’s the Reality?, while Ollie took to Instagram to hard launch their love with a collab post captioned, “THIS is how you do a hard launch! 💍 #TheSutherlands.”
After everything they’ve been through in their respective Love Is Blind journeys, AD and Ollie are proof that sometimes, love finds you when and where you least expect it. And we’re always here for a second chance at true love.
Paige Hurd and Royce O' Neal
Paige Hurd is engaged, y'all! The actress, known most recently for her work in Power Book II: Ghost, and Phoenix Suns forward Royce O’Neale are officially tying the knot following a romantic proposal in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.
Their love story feels like something straight out of a rom-com. Paige, 32, had just sworn off dating, fully focused on her faith and personal growth—then, boom, in walks Royce, 31, to change everything. “Nice as can be,” she recalled in a PEOPLE exclusive, though she initially only saw him as a friend. But Royce? He had a very different vision of who he saw her as in his life. “She was my lifelong crush,” he admitted. “A couple years ago, I told my friends, ‘One day I’ll meet her, date her, and marry her.’ Of course, they thought I was joking, but I was serious.”
Fast forward to February 13, and that longtime manifestation became reality. During an intimate oceanfront dinner at the Viceroy Riviera Maya, surrounded by candlelight and rose petals, Paige was served a slice of red velvet cake with “Will you marry me?” written on the plate. And their journey to a lifetime is only beginning.
From childhood crush to future husband, Royce spoke this love into existence. And with Paige calling him “the most thoughtful, down-to-earth, gentle man I’ve ever known,” it’s clear this is a love story written in the stars.
Jilly Anais and DeShaun Watson
Jilly Anais and her longtime love DeShaun Watson are officially engaged! The Cleveland Browns quarterback popped the question to the singer/content creator with the help of a gorgeous beachside backdrop. On March 16, the couple announced the news in a collab Instagram post, where Jilly beamed ear to ear while showing off her massive diamond ring. “Mrs. Watson loading…” she captioned the post, sending friends, fans, and NFL teammates into a frenzy.
Their love story first began in 2019 when Watson slid into Jilly’s IG DMs, and they’ve been inseparable ever since. From celebrating career wins to house-hunting together on Selling Sunset, these two have been building a life together—and now, wedding bells are otw.
Kyle Massey and Hana Giraldo
From Disney Channel star to fiancé, Kyle Massey is officially an engaged man! The That’s So Raven and Cory in the House alum popped the question to his longtime love, Hana Giraldo, daughter of rock legend Pat Benatar and Neil Giraldo.
Hana announced the big news on Instagram, writing, “IM ENGAGED 💍 to my best friend, my soulmate, and my forever @kylemassey. A lifetime of love, laughter, and adventure begins now! I love you so much Xo.” The couple, who have been together for years, couldn’t be happier to step into this next chapter together. “I'm marrying my best friend, this is a dream come true,” Hana shared.
DeVon Franklin and Maria Castillo
DeVon Franklin and celebrity trainer Maria Castillo are engaged! The preacher and producer proposed during a romantic getaway in Maui on December 27, 2024, but the couple kept their engagement under wraps until February 2025 (which is why they are on this list), when they shared the news exclusively with PEOPLE.
DeVon, 46, gave them the deets of how he pulled off the ultimate surprise. As they posed on a grassy cliff for what she thought was a regular photo shoot, DeVon turned to Maria, 29, and told his bride-to-be, “You know, this whole time has really been an engagement photo shoot.” Shocked, Maria dropped to the ground before DeVon got down on one knee to pop the big question. “Finding Maria has been one of God’s greatest blessings in my life, so I wanted the proposal to be as special as our love,” DeVon told PEOPLE. “It was truly a magical moment, and I can’t wait to spend a magical life with Maria!”
The couple, who were introduced by a mutual friend last year, have been inseparable ever since. “To know I’ll be spending the rest of my life with this incredible man is a dream come true,” Maria shared with the outlet.
Zendaya and Tom Holland
This wouldn’t be a list of celebrity engagements of 2025 without the engagement announcement that kicked it all off: Zendaya and Tom Holland! The pair sparked loads of speculation after Zendaya blinded us with a stunning diamond ring at the Golden Globes in January 2025. And while the notoriously private couple has yet to publicly address the news, multiple reports have confirmed that they are, in fact, officially engaged.
Adding to the confirmation, PEOPLE recently reported that Tom’s Spider-Man co-star Jacob Batalon—who also got engaged this year—set the record straight about their proposal timelines. According to the publication, sources confirmed that Tom and Zendaya were engaged as of January 6, but Jacob argues that he had his proposal plans set in motion before Tom. “No, we did not know about each other's plans like that,” he told Metro Entertainment. “But I will say I thought about it first.”
Zendaya and Tom have always kept their love story low-key, so an official announcement might never come. But between the ring, the reports, and their inner circle spilling deets, it looks like they are locking it down on their own terms.
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Featured image by Normani/Instagram