

Whew, y'all. In this never-ending quest to gain some inches on this natural-haired head of mine, something that I've learned the hard way is that, while every part of our strands are important, you aren't going to get the results that you want if you're not giving the roots and the ends of your hair all of the TLC that it needs. And that is what we're going to tackle today. In order to have long and healthy hair (like YouTubers such as TheDaletiá, Janet Davies, Timaloveslemons, Maryam Hampton, All Things GhoCee and a host of others), you've got to nurture your hair follicles and preserve your ends. Here are 10 tips (five for your follicles and five for your ends) that will help to get you there.
1. Hair Follicles: Watch the Heat
Heat is an interesting topic when it comes to maintaining the health of your hair. I say that because, I'm actually someone who does a blowout every wash day and, ever since I've added that to my hair maintenance routine, I've seen more progress. For me, the key is to deep condition, apply thermal heat protectant, let my hair dry on its own about fifty percent or so and then use a dryer on a cooler setting. Doing this keeps my hair stretched (so that it's manageable with less fairy knots and tangles) which is a good thing.
Actually, what a lot of people don't realize is heat on your hair can actually benefit your hair follicles because it helps to encourage blood flow to the scalp. What you have to be careful of, though, is not applying heat that is too hot (like putting your blow dryer on high) or using heat too often. If you do, that can actually result in permanent damage to your hair follicles (which can ultimately result in hair loss). Even if you are able to dodge that consequence, a lot of heat will almost definitely result in you having dry and brittle hair (which oftentimes leads to breakage).
2. Hair Follicles: Massage Your Scalp with a Peppermint and Thyme Essential Oil Blend
Applying some peppermint essential oil to your scalp and hair is one of the best things that you could do. It's the kind of oil that contains antimicrobial, insecticidal, pesticidal, anesthetic and anti-inflammatory properties.
Because of this, peppermint oil is able to clarify your scalp, soothe it if it's itchy and stimulate hair growth. That's because the menthol that's in peppermint oil serves as a vasodilator; that's basically a fancy way of saying that it increases blood flow to your scalp and hair follicles so that your hair can get the nutrients that it needs. As far as thyme oil goes, not only is it another oil that stimulates your hair follicles, there are studies to support that when it's combined with an oil like peppermint, lavender or rosemary, it can even treat hair loss issues like alopecia areata.
I recommend combining two tablespoons of Jamaican black castor oil or olive oil, along with five drops of peppermint oil and three drops of thyme oil. Heat the mixture up in the microwave for 30 seconds. Apply it to freshly washed hair, massage it into our scalp, let the mixture sit there for 15 minutes, then rinse with cool water. Do this once a month for optimal results.
3. Hair Follicles: Apply an Aloe Vera Mask
Aloe vera is great for your hair, for a few different reasons. For one thing, if you constantly struggle with having a dry scalp, the antipruritic properties that it contains can help to soothe your scalp and keep it well-moisturized. It's analgesic anti-inflammatory enzyme known as bradykinase, along with salicylic acid, work together to reduce any inflammation that your scalp or hair follicles may be experiencing (this includes if you're someone who happens to get scalp acne). Something else that's cool about Aloe vera is it helps to balance out the pH of your scalp (more on that in a little bit). And yet, one more reason why you should add it to your hair care regimen is Aloe vera is a wonderful treatment for your hair follicles. Because the make-up of Aloe vera is very similar to keratin, when you apply it to your scalp, it has the ability to naturally strengthen your hair follicles. Not only that but the 20 different amino acids that Aloe vera contains will help to condition and strengthen your hair so that the roots of your tresses are healthy from the very moment they grow out of your scalp. That's why it's a good idea to apply an Aloe vera mask to your scalp, at least once a month. For tips on how to make your own, click here and/or here.
4. Hair Follicles: Detox Your Scalp
Sometimes, we forget that our scalp has pores, just like the rest of our body does. And, because a lot of us use hair products (not to mention the fact that we sweat and our scalp sheds dead skin cells), those pores can become clogged which can also lead to a slower rate of hair growth. A surefire way to keep your scalp healthy and thriving is to detox it. If you'd like more info on how to do that properly, no problem. You can check out an article that I already wrote on it. It's entitled "Treat Your Scalp To A Little Bit Of Detoxing This Weekend".
5. Hair Follicles: Eat More Protein
Have you ever wondered if you actually need more protein in your system than you're currently getting? Some signs that you could indeed be protein-deficient is you constantly feel weak or tired, you're always hungry (no matter how much you consume), you're always getting sick, your moods are all over the place and/or your skin, nails and hair don't seem as healthy as they usually do. Speaking of hair, yours is made up of mostly protein (keratin), so you definitely need to "feed your follicles" with foods that are loaded with it. Some of those include red meat and poultry. But if you happen to be vegetarian or vegan, some non-meat alternatives include lentils, pumpkin seeds, oats, almonds, quinoa, spinach and spirulina.
1. Your Ends: Balance Your Hair’s pH Balance
When it comes to what pH balance actually is, it's kind of a long story. The short of it is, it's the measure of how acidic and/or base something else. When something has a pH balance of 7, it's considered acidic. When something has a pH balance of 4, it's considered base. When it comes to our hair, its average is somewhere around 5. Something that can throw our normal pH balance off is shampoo, conditioner and other hair products. The problem with that is an "off balance" can lead to rough hair cuticles and, eventually, hair damage.
Something you can do to keep your hair's pH balance right where it needs to be is to clarify your hair with an apple cider rinse. Not only will it bring the balance back to where it should be, but apple cider vinegar also contains anti-fungal and antibacterial properties that can treat dandruff and other scalp irritants. Plus, it is able to make your hair softer and easier to manage. Just add a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar to a cup of water and pour it over your hair after shampooing in order to get the best results.
2. Your Ends: Seal ‘Em
Sealing ends is something that a lot of naturalistas know about. It's a process that helps your hair to maintain the moisture that is already in it, after you wash and condition your tresses. Because your ends are the oldest part of your hair, that makes them the most vulnerable. It also means they need moisture the most. That's why it's important to seal your ends in two ways. One, you should do the final rinse of your hair with cool water. The reason why is because a colder temperature can actually help to flatten and seal your hair's cuticles. Next, you should apply some sort of hair butter (like shea butter) or oil (like Jamaican black castor oil) to your hair while it is damp. By the way, a "sealant" that a lot of people rave about is good old-fashioned hair grease. If that sounds bananas to you, check out "Looking For Hair Growth? It Might Be Time To Bring 'Blue Magic' Back". The lead picture alone, just might make a believer outta you.
3. Your Ends: Use a Leave-In Conditioner
I'm one of those women who, no matter how much I deep condition my locks, my hair is gonna feel dry as the Sahara two days later, and dry tresses will definitely lead to breakage over time. What changed the game for me was putting a leave-in conditioner on my hair. There are a few benefits that come from doing this. It deeply moisturizes your hair. It helps to keep your cuticles nice and smooth. It can provide an extra layer of protection from heat styling tools as well as outdoor elements. And, my personal favorite, it can help to condition your hair for days on end. Hair that contains moisture is hair that is able to remain strong with a good amount of elasticity to it. So, definitely make it a point and practice to use a leave-in on a regular basis. What I use is Aunt Jackie's Quench – Moisture Intensive Leave-In Conditioner (I haven't encountered a better leave-in yet!). But there are plenty of others on the market. Or, you can make your own (check out some recipes here, here, here, here and here).
4. Your Ends: Dry Your Ends the Right Way

If you're someone who, after washing and conditioning your hair, you towel dry, maybe blow dry, and then simply go on about your business without giving any of that much thought, this could be why your ends are not as healthy as they should be. For starters, our hair is strong-yet-fragile (especially when it's wet), so it's best to use an old T-shirt to dry it rather than a towel. Otherwise, you could cause already opened cuticles to crack and your hair to become frizzy. Also, as much as possible, try and move your T-shirt in a downward motion on your hair so that the tee moves in the direction that your cuticles should be going (which is also downward). Same goes for blow-drying your hair. By pointing your dryer's nozzle (or using the comb attachment) in a downward position, that will help to flatten your hair's cuticles, making them less susceptible to damage until your next wash day.
Your Ends: Dust, Don’t Pull, Your Ends
In the quest for length retention, I get it if one of the last things you want to do is put a pair of shears to your hair. But if you don't trim your ends on a consistent basis, it can lead to tangles, split ends, a lack of shape or volume and, your hair actually not growing as fast as it could—or should. It's not because trimming your hair helps your hair to grow faster; it's that, by making sure that your ends aren't raggedy, that can prevent breakage. After all, if your hair is growing at the roots, but is constantly breaking at the ends, you're not gonna get the inches that you're looking for.
No one said that you had to get a professional trim, every 4-6 weeks. Matter of fact, stylists who aren't haters (you know what I mean, the ones who actually support you growing out your hair instead of always taking five inches off each visit) will tell you that every 4-6 weeks may not even be necessary. So long as your hair doesn't show any of the signs that I've just mentioned, you can probably go much longer without needing a trim appointment. Just make sure that you do consider dusting your ends from time to time. That's like doing a micro-trim where you use your own pair of shears to get rid of any split or damaged ends that you might see. If you do happen to notice some, always cut, don't pull. Pulling the ends of your hair, even if they are fairy knots, is a sure way to harm your hair's cuticles and create split ends in the process. If you'd like a few tips on how to properly dust your ends, click here.
Hopefully, this has given you a little more insight into how to reach your own hair goals. Just remember that, as long as your hair is actually growing, you can obtain length. It's all about taking the best of care of your hair—top and bottom. From the roots down to the very ends.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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For some people, springtime can be a bit of a polarizing experience. On one hand, while they enjoy the warm weather and how pretty nature becomes, if they deal with allergies, they know that it’s only a matter of moments before they are gonna be out here with itchy eyes, a runny nose, a headache and all sorts of other allergy-related symptoms.
And why is it so rough during the spring season? The main reason is because the spring and fall seasons are when pollen likes to run amuck. And although there are medications that you can take to help to ease your allergy symptoms, there are also natural remedies that are proven to provide you with some much-needed relief as well.
Below, I have 12. Ones that are easy on your system, don’t have side effects, and can help you to enjoy spending time outdoors without all of the…allergy-related drama.
1. Consume Local Honey
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I can’t say enough how I think it’s amazing that we live in a country that will push all kinds of medications down our throats (billions of side effects and all) and yet when it comes to natural remedies, “experts” will go out of their way to disprove those. Take consuming local honey, for instance. Although I am fortunate to not have to deal with allergies (food, seasonal, etc.) at all, many people in my world do and, in spite of folks who say that using local honey in order to treat them minimizes their symptoms (because there is local pollen in local honey), some health folks think that is just a myth.
However, there are some studies that say there is some truth to this approach, especially since honey contains enzymes that help to boost your immunity and as well as reduce inflammation. My two cents: take a teaspoon of local honey every morning and see how you feel. If it works, awesome. If it doesn’t — well, with all of the other benefits that come from honey (its antioxidants, how it improves gut health, how it aids in sleep, etc.), you’re still doing your body a world of good by consuming it.
2. Use an Essential Oil Blend
I’m telling you — no matter what is going on in your life (that is health or beauty-related), there is going to be an essential oil, somewhere, that can improve it. When it comes to allergies, specifically, you should look into using a blend of sandalwood, frankincense, and Ravensara oils. Sandalwood is good for you because it helps to reduce inflammation, it has antimicrobial benefits and antioxidants and it helps to relax your system.
Frankincense has anti-inflammatory, expectorant, and antiseptic properties; it contains compounds that can bring relief to asthma-related symptoms, boost immunity, and reduce stress; frankincense makes it easier to sleep at night. And although you may not be familiar with Ravensara, it’s one that you want to get familiar with because it also strengthens your immune system and it helps to keep your lungs clear. You can put this blend into a diffuser or you can mix it with a carrier oil and rub it onto your chest before turning in for the evening.
3. Make Some Stinging Nettle Tea
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If you’ve never heard of stinging nettle before, it’s a plant that is used for a variety of health-related issues. Aside from the fact that it’s packed with vitamins A, C, magnesium, iron, calcium, amino acids, potassium, beta-carotene, and flavonoids (plant pigments that have antioxidants in them), stinging nettle also has anti-inflammatory and anti-infectious properties that help to lower your blood pressure, regulate your blood sugar and it can even help to treat prostate issues in men.
The reason why you should consider taking it as a supplement or drinking some stinging nettle tea during allergy season is it helps to reduce inflammation, and block histamine (the chemical in your immune system that causes your body to have allergy-related symptoms like sneezing, itching, and having a runny nose) receptors and reduce symptoms that are directly associated with hay fever.
4. Put a Cold Washcloth on Your Eyes
If one of the things that irks you to no end about allergy season is how itchy your eyes can get, it’s always a good idea to keep a cold washcloth close by. Not only will it help to soothe your irritated eyes as it reduces mild inflammation and puffiness, but this type of cool compress can also help to wipe away the pollen, dander, and whatever other allergens that are causing your eyes stress in the first place.
5. Eat Foods That Contain Quercetin
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There are certain foods that can help to get you through the allergy season. For instance, foods that are high in quercetin are good for you. And just what is quercetin? It’s a plant pigment that contains properties that help to lower your blood pressure, improve the quality of your workouts, and even slow down signs of aging. As far as allergies go, quercetin can help you out because it also has anti-inflammatory properties; plus, it helps to block the production of histamine. Foods that are high in quercetin include apples, kale, broccoli, red onions, and green tea.
6. Decrease Your Dairy Consumption
Something that allergies are prone to do is produce mucus. That’s because mucus is your body’s way of trying to keep allergens from going too deep into your system. And even though mucus is needed (whether we realize it or like it or not), dealing with thick mucus can oftentimes make you feel pretty miserable. That said, if you’ve heard somewhere before that consuming dairy will only produce more mucus and make it thicker too — here’s the deal. What science states is dairy doesn’t so much cause mucus to transpire so much as trigger additional production of mucus — meaning, most research says that there isn’t a direct correlation between dairy and mucus.
HOWEVER, since research also reveals that milk contains properties that are linked to diabetes and heart disease, a lot of it is full of hormones and pesticides and milk can increase inflammation in your system and inflammation is what happens when you have allergy symptoms (although yogurt is a dairy-based food that decreases inflammation) — sounds to me like it can actually work in your favor to decrease your dairy consumption during allergy season and go with some dairy alternatives (like coconut milk, almond milk, hemp milk, oat milk or cashew milk, etc.) instead.
7. Try Some Butterbur
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If you’re looking for some all-natural allergy relief, you definitely should give (the plant) butterbur a try. As I was doing some research on it, I noticed that it has a pretty solid reputation when it comes to treating migraines, hay fever, and asthma as well as bringing relief to symptoms like sneezing, itchy eyes, and nasal congestion. Although many people are fans of it, if you choose to take it in supplement form, make sure to run it by your doctor first.
For one thing, it could affect how other medications are processed in your system. Also, too much of it has the potential to stress your liver out. Oh, and if you are allergic to ragweed, it won’t help you much because it is actually a part of the ragweed plant family (sorry).
8. Enjoy Outdoors Before Noon
If you’re someone who enjoys the great outdoors yet wants to keep allergens from getting on your last nerve, it’s best to spend time outside between the hours of 4 a.m. and noon. Apparently, that is the time of the day when pollen is at its lowest. And when does it like to show out the most? That would be between 2 p.m. and 9 p.m., to be exact. So, if you like to meditate or exercise outdoors, doing it before lunchtime is going to be your best bet…as far as your allergies are concerned.
9. Change Your Clothes As Soon As You Get Home
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Some of us are old enough to remember having grandparents who hated the mere thought of us wearing “outside clothes” for too long after coming inside their house. Well, if you’re someone who deals with allergies, you should actually keep that tradition going because your clothes probably have pollen all over them. And, if you wearing those same articles while sitting on the couch or resting on your bed, you’ve just tracked all of that into your house…and your body will react similarly to how it did while you were outdoors.
10. Take Your Showers at Night
Just like it’s a good idea to change your clothes during allergy season, you should consider taking a shower before turning in at night as well. Not only does that significantly decrease your chances of ending up with allergens in your bedding, but showers before bedtime also help to reduce stress, lower your blood pressure, and clear up any nasal congestion that you might have. For tips on how to have a fabulous nighttime shower during the spring season, check out “How To Turn Your Showers Into A Tranquil DIY Spa.”
11. Close Your Windows. Turn on an Air Purifier.
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There is nothing like fresh air, I ain’t got no lies to tell you. Still, if you’ve got allergy issues, opening up your windows is going to bring some of what’s outdoors indoors. That’s why it’s best that you keep your windows closed as much as possible and that you turn on an air purifier. Air purifiers are bomb because they help to decrease allergens, contaminants, and dust particles and they can even reduce the spreading of certain viruses that may be in the air.
Just keep in mind that although air purifiers are effective, they can’t totally remove any of these things nor are they the best at getting rid of mold, nicotine, or animal dander. Just something to keep in mind.
12. Have Sex
I mean, you can check out articles like “10 Irrefutable Reasons To Have An Orgasm A Day” to see why it can never hurt to get some (safe) nookie in as much as possible; however, when it comes to your allergies, specifically, science says that engaging in sexual activity can help to strengthen your immune system.
Case in point: one study revealed that participants who had sex no less than three times a week ended up having more of the antibody immunoglobulin A in their saliva which helps to fight off viruses, bacteria, and health-related issues like bronchitis, asthma, sinusitis, eye and ear infections too. Hmph. As if you needed convincing to have more orgasms, right? I’m sayin’.
BONUS: See a Reputable Allergist
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And finally, definitely one of the reasons why allergy season is irritating for so many is because they aren’t able to find the proper relief — and that is because they are playing “Google expert” instead of actually making an appointment with an allergist. Why should you do that? Because they are professionally trained to test you in a way that will help you to get to the root of what you actually are allergic to.
So, if you do indeed have allergy symptoms yet you’ve never been officially diagnosed with what is causing them, it’s worth the investment to see a specialist in the field. The sooner you know what the issue is, the sooner you can find some much-needed relief. Zocdoc is one site that can help you find an allergist who is in your area and network. Go here for more info.
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