

When I went natural, I spent hours on YouTube trying to find the perfect regimen and best products to care for my hair. I wanted my 'fro to be soft, long, and luscious. I washed my hair with a peppermint oil-infused shampoo and massaged my scalp nightly with an oil to stimulate hair growth. It worked. My hair grew long, and I loved it until I opted for a shorter style.
When I realized I could wash, condition, and style my hair in less than 30 minutes, I got lazier with my routine. Over time, I stopped massaging my scalp, removed oil from my routine, and shampooed my hair less. I stopped focusing on the health of my hair because I wasn't concerned about the length. If something went wrong, I told myself I would just cut my hair shorter and start over.
That was the wrong approach.
While my hair looked good, there were times I scratched my scalp until it was tender. I shampooed my hair more often to fix the issue, but it was only a temporary solution that probably made the itching worse. A healthy head of hair starts at the roots, and I was neglecting mine.

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Our scalp contains around 100,000 hair follicles that produce sebum or oil to keep it moisturized. This sebum also helps shield the skin from infection and allows hairs to grow. When the organisms that dwell on the scalp are out of balance, it can lead to breakage, thinning, and hair loss.
An itchy scalp is one of the most common signs of an unhealthy scalp. If you find yourself constantly scratching your head, it could mean that your scalp is dry or irritated. An itchy scalp may also be a sign of dandruff, a condition that causes the dead skin on your scalp to flake off. Dandruff isn't a sign that your hair is dirty. Taking care of the skin on your scalp and your hair can require different products. While dandruff can be uncomfortable to experience, it is a common skin issue.
Stubborn dandruff that is difficult to get rid of can be a sign of several scalp-related issues, such as atopic dermatitis and psoriasis. If you are experiencing dandruff with one or more of the following symptoms, it may be time for you to see a dermatologist and receive medical treatment:
Redness or inflammation: If you notice that your scalp is red or swollen, it could be a sign of irritation or infection. Bacteria or fungi often cause scalp infections, which can be painful and uncomfortable. Skin infections can not be treated and healed on their own. Most require medical treatment.
Greasy scales: If you notice greasy scales on your scalp, it could be a sign of Seborrheic Dermatitis, a chronic form of eczema that can last for years. It can also cause the skin to become flaky and white or yellow. It can also result in oily skin all over the body. While this condition is more common in men and adults ages 30 - 60, BIPOC people are likely to have a severe form of the disease called Petaloid Seborrheic Dermatitis.
Oily scalp: If you find that your hair is greasy or oily, it could be a sign that your sebaceous glands are overactive. An oily scalp can also lead to hair loss, as the oil can clog the pores on your scalp and prevent new hair from growing.
Hair loss: This is another sign that your scalp may be unhealthy. Several factors, including genetics, hormonal imbalances, medications, and infections, can cause hair loss.

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How to Get Rid of Dandruff
Once you speak with your doctor and they've ruled out any underlying medical conditions, there are a few steps you can take to manage your dandruff and restore your scalp health. Remember that everyone's combination of hair type and scalp could require a different approach, so don't hesitate to speak with your doctor about what might work for you before resorting to store-bought products that could damage or make the problem worse.
1. Avoid harsh chemicals.
This includes chemicals that you may use on your hair, such as shampoo and conditioner, and those that you may be exposed to in your environment, such as cleaning products or pollutants. When choosing haircare products, look for ones designed for dry and sensitive scalps, and avoid those containing sulfates, fragrances, or other harsh ingredients.
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2. Keep your scalp clean.
For women with natural hair, moisture and conditioner are staples in our regimens, but shampoo is important too. Shampooing regularly with a gentle shampoo and avoiding hairstyles that can trap dirt and oil on the scalp helps maintain hair health. Shampoos with pyrithione zinc, selenium sulfide, and salicylic acid contain antifungal properties and help exfoliate the scalp. Just be sure to rinse your hair thoroughly after shampooing to remove all traces of soap and residue.
3. Moisturize your scalp.
The scalp is skin that needs moisturizing too. Products such as leave-in conditioners, oils, and serums keep our scalps hydrated, especially during the old weather months. While there are many options to choose from on the market, several shampoos and conditioners have also been designed to moisturize the scalp.
4. Avoid hot showers.
Long hot showers may feel good on the skin, but they can damage your scalp. The heat from the water can strip away natural oils, leaving your scalp feeling dry and irritated. If you wash your hair in the shower, use lukewarm water when showering or rinse your hair with cold water.
5. Protect your scalp from the sun.
Just like the rest of your skin, your scalp can be damaged by exposure to the sun's ultraviolet rays. To protect your scalp, wear a hat or scarf when spending time outdoors, and consider using sunscreen specifically designed for the scalp.
A healthy scalp is the foundation of any good haircare routine. Following the tips we've shared can keep your scalp clean and promote healthy hair growth. If you're experiencing dandruff, the most important thing is to figure out what's causing it in the first place – once you know that, you can take steps to fix the issue. If you’ve been chaining your routine and don’t see the results you’re hoping for, don’t hesitate to see a dermatologist. Your hair will thank you for it.
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- Treat Your Scalp To A Little Bit Of Detoxing This Weekend ›
- 10 Tips To Prevent Hair Breakage This Winter, According To An Expert ›
- Stop Scratching: The Differences Between Dandruff And Dry Scalp ›
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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I’ve gotta say that, for the most part, my friends are pretty damn chill. There is one (major) exception, though — and it’s an odd one. Even after all these years and countless times of me giving them the same answer, if there is a time when they think they are my mama, it’s when they see an email come through at an odd hour of the night. Then, all of a sudden, here they come asking me when do I get sleep if I’m emailing at (say) three in the morning.
Again, the answer never changes because, if there is one thing that Shellie Reneé Warren is gonna get, it’s 6-8 (sometimes nine) hours of sleep. However, since my chronotype (check out “Ever Wonder What Personality Traits Make Someone A 'Morning Person'?”) means that I like/prefer to write in the wee hours of the morning, sometimes I will sleep for the night for five hours and take a nap in the day. And y’all, that is just fine with me because I am well aware of the fact that napping does everything from give me more energy, heighten my alertness and even make me more creative to decrease stress levels, strengthen immunity, and reduce my chances of experiencing a heart attack or stroke.
My problem is I will oftentimes go “overboard” with my daytime zzz’s. What I mean by that is, in order to get the most out of a nap, they say thatyou shouldn’t sleep for longer than 25 minutes or so; otherwise, you could wake up feeling sluggish (I don’t but…). Also, it can make resting, soundly, at night a bit of a struggle.
So, what are you saying, Shellie? We should get quickies in? Yeah. And it’s funny that the word “quickie” would come up because just like a sex quickie can do wonders for you (and it can — check out “12 Super Solid Reasons To Have A Quickie Every Single Day”), it’s a full-circle moment when I say that something that can improve the quality of your sex life is to have a power nap (a nap that lasts between 10-30 minutes).
Wanna know how the two things correlate? Honestly, it’s no secret that sleep and sex work together to optimize both (check out “6 Fascinating Ways Sex And Sleep Definitely Go Hand In Hand”). Today, though, we’re going to tap into how a nap, specifically, can have you partaking in some of the best sex that you’ve experienced in a minute. I’ll explain.
Naps Reduce Stress
If you’re feeling super stressed out right now, you are not alone. There is plenty of data out here that says that most of us are stressed for at least a couple of reasons at a time — and that can impact your sexual health on a few levels. For one thing, it can bring about feelings of depression and/or anxiety. Stress can also throw your hormone levels off (including your cycle) which can weaken your libido. Stress can make you want to put distance between you and your partner (yes, literally).
Stress can also make it challenging to get aroused or to have an orgasm. And just what can help to decrease stress? Taking a nap. Since sleep has a way of helping you to “get off of the clock” and relax a bit, that can lower your stress levels and “reset” your body so that you are calmer — and that, in turn, can do wonders for your sex drive and ultimately your sex life.
Naps Improve Your Mood
There is one person in my life, and fairly 80 percent of the time, she’s in a super good mood. Oh, but let that girl go without sleep, and…who is this woman? LOL. There’s research behind why this happens. When a person is sleep-deprived, it messes with their brain chemicals, and that can amplify emotions like anger, restlessness and sadness. In fact, one study revealed that people who had their sleep disrupted throughout the night, they ended up having their positive outlook on life reduced by about 30 percent.
And geeze, who wants to have sex when they’re not feeling very good? Anyway, since serotonin is a neurotransmitter that helps to regulate your moods, your sleep patterns, and your libido and sleep is what helps to keep it in balance — by taking a nap, not only can it help you to feel better, it can also increase your desire for sex (it can also build up your endurance which is also…sexually beneficial).
Naps Increase Your Focus and Concentration
Something that some of my clients bring up is how, when it comes to having sex, sometimes the flesh is willing while the spirit is weak because, although the desire for intimacy is there, so much is going on that they aren’t able to get still enough to focus on experiencing copulation with their partner. This also tracks because, when you don’t have enough rest, your brain finds itself not working in harmony and that can make it hard to do everything from approaching life with a sense of flexibility to making necessary decisions.
Certain data also reveal that a lack of rest can cause you to have a really poor attention span and not process things in context (the more you know). So, if you really want to get some yet it’s hard for you to focus long enough to make it happen, ask your bae to lie down with you and take a nap. Between the sleep and the snuggling (check out “Fall's Coming: 8 Wonderful Health Benefits Of Cuddling”) — you may wake up with your mind and body totally on the same page. #wink
Naps Can Make You Feel Better About Your Body
Even if, overall, you feel really good about your body, I think that we all have moments when we feel less attractive than others — and who wants to have sex when they don’t really feel…very sexy? Well, something else that sleep, in general, can do is increase your confidence in your body.
For one thing, if you want to lose a few pounds, sleep can actually make that happen by helping your body metabolize the glucose (sugar) that’s in it so that you can better manage your appetite. Other studies go on to share that since sleep deprivation can impact one’s mental health and emotional stability in a negative way, of course, getting enough rest would increase body positivity.
Shoot, science even goes so far as to say that insomnia can cause people to have an elevated level of dissatisfaction when it comes to their body image. Don’t take their word for it, though. Look in the mirror before a nap. Then look in a mirror after waking up from me. Do you feel better? I’d be surprised if you don’t.
Makes Your Brain Bigger…Which Could Make Your Orgasms Better
I saved the best for last by design. Now if you’re wondering how in the world a nap can improve (and possibly increase) your orgasms — oh, there is a method to the madness…trust. For starters, the saying that your biggest sex organ is your brain? That isn’t a myth. Long story less long, the brain is what houses your central nervous system and that is what controls how men and women sexually function (yes, literally).
And since the brain also releases feel-good chemicals like dopamine, serotonin, and oxytocin during sex and brain activity significantly increases in women during sexual activity (especially right before she orgasms) — well, would it trip you out to know that when you take a nap, your brain actually expands? A bigger brain (that’s healthy) can potentially intensify your sexual experiences (and your climaxes) — and who doesn’t want that to go down?
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Like I said earlier, I never have to be convinced to get a nap in. However, if your sex life has been a bit stagnant lately, you’ve been feeling a little sluggish and you’re not sure what to do — I’m hoping that a nap can get you right.
There’s enough science to prove that it can. All you need to do is give it a shot.
Now where’s your pillow and sleep mask, chile?
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