

When I went natural, I spent hours on YouTube trying to find the perfect regimen and best products to care for my hair. I wanted my 'fro to be soft, long, and luscious. I washed my hair with a peppermint oil-infused shampoo and massaged my scalp nightly with an oil to stimulate hair growth. It worked. My hair grew long, and I loved it until I opted for a shorter style.
When I realized I could wash, condition, and style my hair in less than 30 minutes, I got lazier with my routine. Over time, I stopped massaging my scalp, removed oil from my routine, and shampooed my hair less. I stopped focusing on the health of my hair because I wasn't concerned about the length. If something went wrong, I told myself I would just cut my hair shorter and start over.
That was the wrong approach.
While my hair looked good, there were times I scratched my scalp until it was tender. I shampooed my hair more often to fix the issue, but it was only a temporary solution that probably made the itching worse. A healthy head of hair starts at the roots, and I was neglecting mine.
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Our scalp contains around 100,000 hair follicles that produce sebum or oil to keep it moisturized. This sebum also helps shield the skin from infection and allows hairs to grow. When the organisms that dwell on the scalp are out of balance, it can lead to breakage, thinning, and hair loss.
An itchy scalp is one of the most common signs of an unhealthy scalp. If you find yourself constantly scratching your head, it could mean that your scalp is dry or irritated. An itchy scalp may also be a sign of dandruff, a condition that causes the dead skin on your scalp to flake off. Dandruff isn't a sign that your hair is dirty. Taking care of the skin on your scalp and your hair can require different products. While dandruff can be uncomfortable to experience, it is a common skin issue.
Stubborn dandruff that is difficult to get rid of can be a sign of several scalp-related issues, such as atopic dermatitis and psoriasis. If you are experiencing dandruff with one or more of the following symptoms, it may be time for you to see a dermatologist and receive medical treatment:
Redness or inflammation: If you notice that your scalp is red or swollen, it could be a sign of irritation or infection. Bacteria or fungi often cause scalp infections, which can be painful and uncomfortable. Skin infections can not be treated and healed on their own. Most require medical treatment.
Greasy scales: If you notice greasy scales on your scalp, it could be a sign of Seborrheic Dermatitis, a chronic form of eczema that can last for years. It can also cause the skin to become flaky and white or yellow. It can also result in oily skin all over the body. While this condition is more common in men and adults ages 30 - 60, BIPOC people are likely to have a severe form of the disease called Petaloid Seborrheic Dermatitis.
Oily scalp: If you find that your hair is greasy or oily, it could be a sign that your sebaceous glands are overactive. An oily scalp can also lead to hair loss, as the oil can clog the pores on your scalp and prevent new hair from growing.
Hair loss: This is another sign that your scalp may be unhealthy. Several factors, including genetics, hormonal imbalances, medications, and infections, can cause hair loss.
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How to Get Rid of Dandruff
Once you speak with your doctor and they've ruled out any underlying medical conditions, there are a few steps you can take to manage your dandruff and restore your scalp health. Remember that everyone's combination of hair type and scalp could require a different approach, so don't hesitate to speak with your doctor about what might work for you before resorting to store-bought products that could damage or make the problem worse.
1. Avoid harsh chemicals.
This includes chemicals that you may use on your hair, such as shampoo and conditioner, and those that you may be exposed to in your environment, such as cleaning products or pollutants. When choosing haircare products, look for ones designed for dry and sensitive scalps, and avoid those containing sulfates, fragrances, or other harsh ingredients.
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2. Keep your scalp clean.
For women with natural hair, moisture and conditioner are staples in our regimens, but shampoo is important too. Shampooing regularly with a gentle shampoo and avoiding hairstyles that can trap dirt and oil on the scalp helps maintain hair health. Shampoos with pyrithione zinc, selenium sulfide, and salicylic acid contain antifungal properties and help exfoliate the scalp. Just be sure to rinse your hair thoroughly after shampooing to remove all traces of soap and residue.
3. Moisturize your scalp.
The scalp is skin that needs moisturizing too. Products such as leave-in conditioners, oils, and serums keep our scalps hydrated, especially during the old weather months. While there are many options to choose from on the market, several shampoos and conditioners have also been designed to moisturize the scalp.
4. Avoid hot showers.
Long hot showers may feel good on the skin, but they can damage your scalp. The heat from the water can strip away natural oils, leaving your scalp feeling dry and irritated. If you wash your hair in the shower, use lukewarm water when showering or rinse your hair with cold water.
5. Protect your scalp from the sun.
Just like the rest of your skin, your scalp can be damaged by exposure to the sun's ultraviolet rays. To protect your scalp, wear a hat or scarf when spending time outdoors, and consider using sunscreen specifically designed for the scalp.
A healthy scalp is the foundation of any good haircare routine. Following the tips we've shared can keep your scalp clean and promote healthy hair growth. If you're experiencing dandruff, the most important thing is to figure out what's causing it in the first place – once you know that, you can take steps to fix the issue. If you’ve been chaining your routine and don’t see the results you’re hoping for, don’t hesitate to see a dermatologist. Your hair will thank you for it.
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- Treat Your Scalp To A Little Bit Of Detoxing This Weekend ›
- 10 Tips To Prevent Hair Breakage This Winter, According To An Expert ›
- Stop Scratching: The Differences Between Dandruff And Dry Scalp ›
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Are You & Your Partner Financially Compatible? Here’s How To Tell.
With nearly half of all marriages that end in divorce citing finances as the nail in the coffin to deading their relationship, financial compatibility is one aspect of long-term compatibility that doesn't get talked about enough. Beyond the circular 50/50 discourse and whatever hot-button issues regarding providers and the like, at its core, financial compatibility is about how well your financial behaviors, values, and long-term goals align with those of your partner.
More than it is about how much money a person makes or doesn't make, financial compatibility focuses on how you think about money, how you spend your money, and most importantly, how you plan for the future with your money. Think, questions about money mindsets, spending habits, debt, budget, etc. Are you a saver and he's a spender? Do you see money as a tool for freedom? Does he see it as something to hold on tightly to as a means of survival? Can you talk about your financial goals and plans openly?
Knowing if you and your partner are financially compatible can save a lot of heartache, a lot of headaches, and a lot of money in the end. Keep reading for a few key indicators to pay attention to and learn whether or not you and your partner are truly aligned financially.
Signs You’re Financially Compatible
1. You can talk about money without judgment.
Conversations about money aren't something you dread. You're able to talk to your partner freely and openly about money matters, like debts, bills, the budget, etc., even when it is uncomfortable. There is an understanding that talking about money doesn't have to be something you're on the defense about, instead it's an opportunity for transparency, clarity, and solutions.
2. You respect each other's money personalities.
What is a money personality? According to Ken Honda, author of Happy Money, a money personality is our "approach and emotional responses to money" and there are seven money personalities we can fall under. These personalities can help us understand our own relationship with money, as well as our partner's. For example, maybe you're someone who likes to treat yourself to a fancy dinner once a month and your partner is someone who believes ordering takeout and not cooking meals at home is a cardinal sin.
When you can respect each other's money personalities, neither approach is subjected to judgment and shifts can be made in each other's spending habits as needed and from a place of love versus guilt or shame.
3. You agree on what it means to have "financial security."
Whether it’s building a stacked emergency fund, paying off debt before putting a downpayment on a home or being able to splurge on a baecation without checking your account balance before the bill arrives, your definitions of what it means to be financially secure are in sync, or at least compatible enough to reach a compromise.
4. You are not each other's "financial parent."
You’re not constantly teaching, fixing, or stressing out over what the other person is doing with their money. Although I fast-forwarded through a lot of the most recent season of Love Is Blind, I did pay attention to Virginia and Devin and money seemed to be a recurring theme in their conversations. It was clear Virginia had her ish together when it came to money and her financial plans for the future and Devin was not quite on her level.
Though she said no at the altar for additional reasons, I could also see how sis could eventually get very tired of being her partner's second mama, so to speak. And that's the thing about being your partner's "financial parent," eventually, you could end up feeling like you are one-half of a "parenting" or "teaching" dynamic with your partner instead of feeling like you're equals in a partnership.
5. You make financial decisions with each other in mind, not for each other.
Whether it’s booking a trip, deciding which debt to tackle first, saving up for a big purchase, or planning out your next move, there’s a mutual respect for each other’s input. Those shared goals might look like wealth, freedom, stability, or just a debt-free life that feels soft and secure.
You don’t have to be chasing the same bag in the same exact way, but you do need to be aligned on the vision. What you're building should feel like a joint venture with shared effort and purpose, not one of y’all making major money moves like you're still single. Making financial decisions is not just about where the money goes, it's about where you’re going together.
6. You're aligned when it comes to the big stuff.
Financial compatibility extends to the long-term of money management. The legacy, structure, and shared responsibility that comes with decisions like shared accounts, estate planning, having babies, or even blending families. Will you split bills or combine income? Who’s taking time off if you have a child? How do y’all feel about generational wealth or investing for your family’s future? You and your partner have had the real conversations.
These conversations can’t wait until after the wedding or until after a baby’s here. They’re the foundation for how you function as a unit, and if you're not aligned, or at least willing to get on the same page, that incompatibility can cause friction in the end that love alone can't fix.
Love is cute and all, but building an empire together? That’s the real flex. Tap into our new series Making Cents to see what financial compatibility really looks like when love and legacy go hand in hand.
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