

Lip gloss. Jewelry. Panties. Pumas. T-shirts. If someone were to ask me what I have an abundance of, things that I'm basically addicted to, it would be those five things; especially T-shirts.
No doubt, I am a self-professed walking human billboard. In fact, I love tees so much that a few years back, I attempted to start my own T-shirt line. I must say that the concepts were super dope; so was the name of the line. So, why is it on indefinite hiatus? Because I'll also admit that when I started out, I bit off a lot more than I could chew. For example, T-shirt lines are EX-PEN-SIVE. Because I was ill-prepared, I was spending more to print them than I was making selling them.
Still, I know that one day I'll want to resurrect my line. I'm also pretty sure that some of y'all have considered doing one of your own, but you weren't sure how to make your own vision come together.
Although there are some pretty informative YouTube videos that you could check out (like here and here), I decided to take things up a notch by featuring some of my absolute favorite Black female-owned T-shirt lines on the 'net!
I can personally vouch for each one because I either own some of their shirts or I've bought them as gifts for others. And trust me, after checking out these women's expertise, if having a T-shirt line in 2019 is one of your goals, you will feel more confident than ever that you can pull it off!
Thank you, ladies for your pearls of wisdom. It's like getting access to a free online business seminar and that is priceless!
Tees in the Trap
Courtesy of Tees in the Trap
Arsha Jones, Owner and Founder
What inspired you to come up with a T-shirt line and what inspired the name? Also, how do you select your specialty lines?
I didn't see a reflection of my own experiences, likes, humor, and personality represented online. I wanted to purchase products that represented me — a Black girl who is a little hood, with a touch of bougie. The name came from the Nicki Minaj song "Beez in the Trap". I thought it had a nice ring to it.
How much money do you need to start a line?
That's relative. It could be a low as $20. With the emergence of drop shipping, if you have a domain, Shopify, and an idea, you can be up and running in hours.
Feminine Funk
Courtesy of Feminine Funk
Nicole Grier, Owner, and Creative Director
What is something that you wish you had done differently within the first year of having your line?
When I started Feminine Funk, we had very humble beginnings. Money was very limited, so I didn't factor in a bookkeeper or an accountant to take care of our finances. The truth is, if you are going to have any kind of business, you need someone handling the books. It will give you peace of mind and make tax time so much easier.
What's the biggest mistake a Black female can make in the T-shirt business?
The biggest mistake a Black female can make is to not protect their designs and artwork. I have been guilty of this myself. We are smart and talented and because of this, we are getting knocked off all of the time. Talk to a trademark lawyer and find out your rights and what you can do to protect yourself.
Mess in a Bottle

Courtesy of Mess in a Bottle
Kaliah Wright, Founder and CEO
What do you love most about your T-shirt line and what, quite frankly, is the most challenging about it?
I love the unique concept of receiving a MESSage in a Bottle. This idea stems from the 310 B.C. concept of receiving a message that was dropped into the ocean and then found washed up onto the shore. We are the 21st-century version of that, in which you select the MESSage, it is printed on a premium cotton t-shirt, packaged in a reusable bottle and then dropped into the ocean (i.e. shipped) for yourself or your recipient.
The most challenging part is growing so rapidly with the business. We have exploded in the last three years. We started in my small row home in Baltimore, MD and the brand quickly expanded beyond my reach. We have graced celebrities such as Serena Williams, Lena Waithe and Bozoma Saint John to name a few and featured in publications such as Harper's Bazaar and Cosmopolitan Magazine. The demand for a MESSage in a Bottle has significantly increased and it has been difficult to keep up with as we print and manufacture most of its products in-house.
I'm a walking human billboard, so I'm a snob when it comes to T-shirt quality. If someone wants to start a T-shirt line, how do they make sure their tees are up to par?
A couple of easy things. If you are not a designer, I would try to work closely with a graphic designer to be sure you have a well-designed T-shirt. In addition, I would obtain sample prints of different print methods to be sure you choose the best quality print for your designs on your T-shirt. Lastly, don't be afraid to get a sample of different T-shirts as well to be sure using cotton vs. poly-cotton or polyester is the right fit for your brand. Attending T-shirt print trade shows are a great way to quickly get answers to these questions.
Fab Fly Fancy

Courtesy of FAB FLY FANCY
Tierra McKnight, CEO
How old is your line and what was the inspiration behind it?
Fab Fly Fancy started on Etsy and it has only been in existence for 16 months. In addition to Etsy, we now have our own domain, sell on We Buy Black, and vend at a variety of events. However, most of the revenue is generated from Etsy.
As a full-time educator with a new baby, I was constantly buying items from Etsy. I researched via YouTube and realized that it would be relatively simple to start my own T-shirt line and it would also be the perfect way to generate an extra source of income from home. The inspiration behind my line is a celebration of today's culture with expressive, thought-provoking, and sometimes humorous messages.
In your opinion, is it a good idea to learn how to print yourself or hire a printing company to do the printing for you?
In my opinion, I think it is a good idea to print for yourself because you are in control and your profit margin is typically larger. However, you also need to consider time and the amount of space needed when printing yourself…
I would suggest [buying] a vinyl cutter which is around $200 and a heat press, which would start around $100. Then you would also need to get T-shirts, vinyl, and some type of electronic device (computer, tablet) to create your designs. I started with a small heat press from Amazon, my work laptop, and a Cricut.
Habitually Fly
Courtesy of Habitually Fly
Traci Blanco, Founding Creative
When someone is just starting out, what are three essential things that they need?
Three essential components are 1) a clear niche because it will tell you who your ideal client is and where to find them; 2) a marketing budget because without marketing you don't have a business and 3) an e-commerce website because [putting on your socials] "DM to purchase" is ineffective.
How do you select price points in order to make a profit?
Price points are chosen based on the wholesale costs of all the T-shirt components and the profit margin you're shooting for. This formula can be used to help: Retail Price = [(cost to produce) ÷ (100-profit %)] x 100.
Izzy & Liv
Courtesy of Izzy & Liv
Nicole W. Brown, CEO
I checked out your backstory; it's super-inspiring. What has been the challenges with balancing running a brand and having a family?
The biggest challenge is the fact there really is no such thing as "balance". You cannot give 100 percent to multiple interests because there is only one of you. So even if you are giving 50/50, while that may be an equitable "balance" in the true sense of the word, that still leaves you with the guilt of feeling like you have fallen short, which is a struggle.
For me, it's more a question of how can I "juggle" it all? How can I keep all of these balls in the air and not drop any of them? Also, accepting the fact that I can only have one or two balls in my hand at any given moment, but as long as the other balls are still thriving in the air, all is good. I have four children and there are days where one child may need more attention and focus than another. Being aware of that and giving each child the individualized attention that they need, when they need it, is "balance" for me. And, as an entrepreneur, in some ways, my business is my fifth child. Both my business and my children require constant nurturing and attention to grow and be successful. I do my best to juggle them all and make sure that no ball is dropped.
However, at the end of the day, no matter what, my children and my family come first. So, if I have the business ball in my hand but one of my children need me, that business ball goes right back up in the air, no question.
T-shirt lines are super expensive. What's your advice when it comes to running one without breaking the bank?
I'm a fan of starting out with drop-shipping/print on demand, especially if your budget is limited. This allows you to sell your designs without having to invest in inventory and with little upfront cost of goods. You pay for what you sell as you go and it allows you to see what designs are a hit and what designs are a miss (proof of concept).
From there, you can focus on improving your margins by transitioning your best-selling designs to an inventory model where you produce more in bulk, which costs you less per unit. You can also look into learning how to print your own t-shirts. However, be prepared to be able to scale that operation as your sales increase.
Pink Grey NYC
Courtesy of Pink Grey NYC
Cici, Owner
What are the pros and cons of having an Etsy store?
A major pro of having an Etsy store is the direct marketing Etsy provides [such as] emailing customers on your behalf and directing customers to your shop. A major con is the fees…I would say for an Etsy shop, the cost may be around $500. Having your own stand-alone website will ensure that all profits go to you…but, in my experience, you'll always end up spending more than whatever [is in] your budget.
What, in your opinion, are the keys to success in running a Black female-owned T-shirt business?
Not being afraid to ask for help is the key to doing anything successfully. While it can be rewarding to do everything on your own, it can also be really difficult and maybe even a little unrealistic. So, make sure you have a good support system, whether its friends, family, or members of your church. Utilize those relationships, and never hesitate to ask for help, whether it be connections for discounts on supplies or just for words of encouragement when running your business gets stressful. Having a circle of people who support you and who are there for you can be a lifesaver!
Feature image by Habitually Fly.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Eva Marcille On Starring In 'Jason’s Lyric Live' & Being An Audacious Black Woman
Eva Marcille has taken her talents to the stage. The model-turned-actress is starring in her first play, Jason’s Lyric Live alongside Allen Payne, K. Michelle, Treach, and others.
The play, produced by Je’Caryous Johnson, is an adaptation of the film, which starred Allen Payne as Jason and Jada Pinkett Smith as Lyric. Allen reprised his role as Jason for the play and Eva plays Lyric.
While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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Feature image by Leon Bennett/WireImage
Once upon a time, I knew a married couple who told me that they wouldn’t even discuss with each other who they found to be attractive on television because, in their minds, that was a form of cheating. They’re divorced now, and although there are a series of reasons why, it was always strange to me that things were so restrictive within their relationship that they couldn’t even share a fleeting thought about how someone looked.
Thinking about them kinda-sorta inspired this piece because they caused me to reflect on the times when some of my clients have come to me, semi-freaking out, and it was because their thoughts about someone had gone beyond “Hey, she’s pretty” or “Hey, he looks good.” Instead, they were starting to fantasize about certain folks, and they weren’t sure what to do about it, especially when some of those fantasies were transpiring while they were engaging in sex with someone else.
You know, it’s been reported that somewhere around 50 percent of people do indeed have fantasies about other people while having sex with another person. And that is definitely a high enough number to tackle some things about the topic here.
If you’re someone who fantasizes about other individuals, especially sexually, here’s some intel into why that could be the case, along with when it gets to the point and place where you might want to consider actually doing something about it.
What’s a Fantasy and What Exactly Causes Them?
Whenever you think of the word “fantasy,” what immediately comes to your mind?
Personally, what I find to be interesting is the fact that the dictionary says that there are actually a lot of things that can be considered a fantasy: your imagination, hallucinations, visions, ingenious inventions, illusions — I mean, there is even a genre of fiction that falls into the fantasy category. However, when it comes to what we’re going to discuss today, a psychological term for fantasy is “an imagined or conjured up sequence fulfilling a psychological need; daydream.”
And yes, before we get to the end of all of this, that definition is going to answer quite a few questions as it pertains to the topic of this particular piece. But first, more about the origin story of fantasies.
Apparently famed neurologist, Sigmund Freud spent some time analyzing fantasies and came to the conclusion that, more than anything else, a fantasy represents something that is either a suppressed urge or desire and when you stop to think about what you imagine, what your visions are, what you may long to invent — that certainly tracks. However, something that you should also keep in mind about fantasies is that, oftentimes, they are rooted in few boundaries and can even go well beyond what is considered to be reality (which is something that is based on facts and truth).
Oh, something else that needs to be kept in mind about fantasies is that they are typically relied on as a mental form of escape from something or someone (bookmark that).
And now that fantasies are more clearly defined, if your immediate question is, “Is it wrong to fantasize?” — no, I certainly don’t think that. What I do believe, based on what a fantasy is, though, is if you are fantasizing a lot about a particular person, place, thing or idea, it would be a good idea to ponder why that is the case — why is that a suppressed desire for you, why are you using that as a mental escape and perhaps, the most important question of all, does your fantasy come with any limits?
Now let’s build on top of this…
Now What Causes Folks to Fantasize About Other People?
As I was doing more research on the topic of fantasies, I came across an article entitled, “What Happens In Our Brains When We Fantasize About Someone.” The author of it started the piece out by talking about a cool connection that she made with someone on a plane, only for her to find herself fantasizing about him once they parted ways. As she went deeper into her story, she mentioned a word that definitely needs to be shared here: heuristics.
If you’re not familiar with it, heuristics is simply a mental shortcut. For instance, if you find yourself needing to make a quick decision (check out “Before You Make A Life-Altering Decision, Read This.”), you may rely on heuristics to do it (even if it’s subconsciously). The challenge with that is oftentimes heuristics will only provide you with a limited amount of data and information, and relying only on that could cause you to not make the best choice, if you’re not careful. And boy, when heuristics jump into your fantasy space — well, something that immediately comes to my mind is celebrity culture.
Ain’t it wild how people will be on social media, speaking so confidently, about someone—or someone’s relationship—as if they personally know them (when they absolutely don’t)? I mean, just because someone is attractive or you’ve seen them carry themselves well in an interview or two, that doesn’t automatically mean that they are the ideal person or that they are someone to set your own dating standards by. If you’re not careful, though, heuristics and fantasies may encourage you to think otherwise.
That’s because the combo will try and get your brain to jump to all sorts of conclusions and, if you don’t keep that in check, it could result in you making premature, counterproductive, or even straight-up reckless decisions — because remember, a fantasy tends to be about suppressing an urge or desire.
Honestly, whether you are in a relationship or not, if you are fantasizing about a particular individual, understanding why you are doing that should definitely be explored.
However, if you are with someone and you’re fantasizing about someone else, you really shouldn’t ignore what is transpiring because, although by definition, there’s a good chance that whatever and whomever you are fantasizing about will never come to pass, the fact that it’s taking up some of your mental and emotional space, that needs to be acknowledged. Because if there is something that you want or need, and you seem to believe that your fantasies are better at supplying that for you than the reality of your relationship, why is that?
Let’s keep going…
What Does (or Could) It Mean If You Fantasize About Someone Else During Sex?
It’s pretty common that a random song will come to mind whenever I’m writing an article. Today? It was Guy’s “My Fantasy.” Then a sitcom did — King of Queens, and the episode when Doug and Carrie were talking about his sexual fantasies. The song is about images that the fellas randomly have about beautiful women. The episode was about Carrie wanting to dictate to Doug what and whom he could fantasize about because some of his sexual fantasies made her feel uncomfortable or intimidated.
And both of these are a pretty solid intro into whether there is something wrong with sexually fantasizing about someone, especially while having sex with someone else. Well, before getting into all of that, I think another article that I read on the topic brings up a pretty good point — that it’s important to think about where your fantasies are coming from: your imagination, things you see on social media, porn that you may have watched, people who you actually know…and if it’s the latter, is it someone from your past or someone from your present?
Yeah, knowing the source of your fantasies can definitely help you to understand how “deep” into your fantasies you might be.
What I mean by that is, seeing a beautiful man one time and randomly thinking about what it would be like to have sex with him on some beach vacation is quite different than constantly thinking about your ex, the sex you used to have with him and then fantasizing about it For one thing, the beautiful guy, you will probably never have access to. That ex, though? Well, at the very least, that is a bit more realistic, right?
Then there’s the fact that, again, a fantasy is a suppressed urge or desire. When it comes to the beautiful man, is it his looks that you long for, or is it something deeper? And that ex of yours? Lawd, now why, when you have your own man in your own bed, is your ex “scratching some sort of itch”? Because we all know what they say — “he’s your ex for a reason,” so why is he creeping up into your intimacy space now that the relationship is over? Is something unresolved?
Are there sexual needs that he met that your current partner isn’t (check out “You Love Him. You Prefer Sex With Your Ex. What Should You Do?”)? Is something currently transpiring in your current relationship that you are using fantasies about your ex to escape from?
You see, although when it comes to the topic of fantasizing about others when you’re having sex with someone else might seem like the a cut-and-dried, “Don’t do it, end of discussion” — as someone who works with couples for a living, I think the bigger concern isn’t if another guy comes into your mind during sex with your partner…it’s more about WHY is that happening to begin with. Because if you need to escape from where you are, if you can’t be present with your partner, something is definitely up.
When Should You Be Concerned About the Fantasies You Are Having?
During the last several months of breaking up (because we all know that sometimes breaking up is a process) with the last boyfriend whom I will have in this lifetime, I recall fantasizing about other people while having sex with him. It’s because I really wasn’t attracted to or interested in him, sexually, anymore — but I was a bit fearful of what it would mean to let the entire relationship go.
And boy, is that a huge red flag because I wasn’t fantasizing about some random famous person one time during sex — I was relying on images, my imagination, and previous experiences with other people to literally get me through the act. NOT. GOOD.
Y’all, one of the greatest and most profound forms of communication and connection between two people is sexual intimacy, and so, when it transpires, it really should only be about the two of them. That said, should you freak out over a thought about someone who creeps up into your mind every once in a while? Chile, more people have that happen than they will ever admit out loud.
On the other hand, should you worry if you’re like I was? I’ll put it this way — you should definitely be concerned because the last thing that you should be feeling during sex with someone is like you are suppressing what you need and/or that you want to escape from the moments that you are experiencing with them.
And yet, if that is indeed the case, though, what should you do?
Start with doing some sex journaling. Write down your fantasies, the sources of them, and why you are leaning on them in this season (check out “The Art Of Sex Journaling (And Why You Should Do It)”). If they are tied to unrealistic situations, be real with yourself about that. If they are rooted in potential possibilities, do some journaling about how much you are “feeding into” that reality and what you think would be the wisest way to move forward, both for your sake as well as your relationship.
Talk to your partner. Each relationship is different, and so, while I’m not going to recommend that everyone just blurt out that they’ve been thinking about having sex with their co-worker or college sweetheart while having sex with their partner, I do think that the suppressed urges and desires (in general) should be mentioned. Sometimes, fantasies are birthed out of boredom (check out “If You're Not Having Great Sex, This Is (Probably) Why” and “Common Sex Problems Couples Have (& How To Fix 'Em)”) and doing something like creating a sex bucket list (check out “This Is How To Create The Best Kind Of ‘Sex Bucket List’”) can breathe new life into your bedroom.
Plus, sharing some of your deepest thoughts, feelings, and needs (in a kind, thoughtful, and mature way) can cultivate more emotional intimacy with your partner, and that can definitely be a good thing.
Consider seeing a sex therapist. If, after doing both of these things, the fantasies seem to be getting stronger and louder, you might need to make an appointment with a reputable sex therapist (check out “Have You Ever Wondered If You Should See A Sex Therapist?”). They may be able to help you to “connect some dots” about what’s going on that you wouldn’t have considered without their help, because sex therapists are trained in helping individuals sort out the mental and emotional sides of intimacy, not just the physical ones.
____
Are fantasies bad? They aren’t. However, when it comes to sexual ones, a quote by Benjamin Franklin absolutely comes to mind: “If passion drives you, let reason hold the reins.”
And that, right there, should be a guiding message for how you should process the fantasies that you do have.
Amen? Sho’ you right.
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Featured image by Giphy