Lip gloss. Jewelry. Panties. Pumas. T-shirts. If someone were to ask me what I have an abundance of, things that I'm basically addicted to, it would be those five things; especially T-shirts.
No doubt, I am a self-professed walking human billboard. In fact, I love tees so much that a few years back, I attempted to start my own T-shirt line. I must say that the concepts were super dope; so was the name of the line. So, why is it on indefinite hiatus? Because I'll also admit that when I started out, I bit off a lot more than I could chew. For example, T-shirt lines are EX-PEN-SIVE. Because I was ill-prepared, I was spending more to print them than I was making selling them.
Still, I know that one day I'll want to resurrect my line. I'm also pretty sure that some of y'all have considered doing one of your own, but you weren't sure how to make your own vision come together.
Although there are some pretty informative YouTube videos that you could check out (like here and here), I decided to take things up a notch by featuring some of my absolute favorite Black female-owned T-shirt lines on the 'net!
I can personally vouch for each one because I either own some of their shirts or I've bought them as gifts for others. And trust me, after checking out these women's expertise, if having a T-shirt line in 2019 is one of your goals, you will feel more confident than ever that you can pull it off!
Thank you, ladies for your pearls of wisdom. It's like getting access to a free online business seminar and that is priceless!
Tees in the Trap
Courtesy of Tees in the Trap
Arsha Jones, Owner and Founder
What inspired you to come up with a T-shirt line and what inspired the name? Also, how do you select your specialty lines?
I didn't see a reflection of my own experiences, likes, humor, and personality represented online. I wanted to purchase products that represented me — a Black girl who is a little hood, with a touch of bougie. The name came from the Nicki Minaj song "Beez in the Trap". I thought it had a nice ring to it.
How much money do you need to start a line?
That's relative. It could be a low as $20. With the emergence of drop shipping, if you have a domain, Shopify, and an idea, you can be up and running in hours.
Feminine Funk
Courtesy of Feminine Funk
Nicole Grier, Owner, and Creative Director
What is something that you wish you had done differently within the first year of having your line?
When I started Feminine Funk, we had very humble beginnings. Money was very limited, so I didn't factor in a bookkeeper or an accountant to take care of our finances. The truth is, if you are going to have any kind of business, you need someone handling the books. It will give you peace of mind and make tax time so much easier.
What's the biggest mistake a Black female can make in the T-shirt business?
The biggest mistake a Black female can make is to not protect their designs and artwork. I have been guilty of this myself. We are smart and talented and because of this, we are getting knocked off all of the time. Talk to a trademark lawyer and find out your rights and what you can do to protect yourself.
Mess in a Bottle
Courtesy of Mess in a Bottle
Kaliah Wright, Founder and CEO
What do you love most about your T-shirt line and what, quite frankly, is the most challenging about it?
I love the unique concept of receiving a MESSage in a Bottle. This idea stems from the 310 B.C. concept of receiving a message that was dropped into the ocean and then found washed up onto the shore. We are the 21st-century version of that, in which you select the MESSage, it is printed on a premium cotton t-shirt, packaged in a reusable bottle and then dropped into the ocean (i.e. shipped) for yourself or your recipient.
The most challenging part is growing so rapidly with the business. We have exploded in the last three years. We started in my small row home in Baltimore, MD and the brand quickly expanded beyond my reach. We have graced celebrities such as Serena Williams, Lena Waithe and Bozoma Saint John to name a few and featured in publications such as Harper's Bazaar and Cosmopolitan Magazine. The demand for a MESSage in a Bottle has significantly increased and it has been difficult to keep up with as we print and manufacture most of its products in-house.
I'm a walking human billboard, so I'm a snob when it comes to T-shirt quality. If someone wants to start a T-shirt line, how do they make sure their tees are up to par?
A couple of easy things. If you are not a designer, I would try to work closely with a graphic designer to be sure you have a well-designed T-shirt. In addition, I would obtain sample prints of different print methods to be sure you choose the best quality print for your designs on your T-shirt. Lastly, don't be afraid to get a sample of different T-shirts as well to be sure using cotton vs. poly-cotton or polyester is the right fit for your brand. Attending T-shirt print trade shows are a great way to quickly get answers to these questions.
Fab Fly Fancy
Courtesy of FAB FLY FANCY
Tierra McKnight, CEO
How old is your line and what was the inspiration behind it?
Fab Fly Fancy started on Etsy and it has only been in existence for 16 months. In addition to Etsy, we now have our own domain, sell on We Buy Black, and vend at a variety of events. However, most of the revenue is generated from Etsy.
As a full-time educator with a new baby, I was constantly buying items from Etsy. I researched via YouTube and realized that it would be relatively simple to start my own T-shirt line and it would also be the perfect way to generate an extra source of income from home. The inspiration behind my line is a celebration of today's culture with expressive, thought-provoking, and sometimes humorous messages.
In your opinion, is it a good idea to learn how to print yourself or hire a printing company to do the printing for you?
In my opinion, I think it is a good idea to print for yourself because you are in control and your profit margin is typically larger. However, you also need to consider time and the amount of space needed when printing yourself…
I would suggest [buying] a vinyl cutter which is around $200 and a heat press, which would start around $100. Then you would also need to get T-shirts, vinyl, and some type of electronic device (computer, tablet) to create your designs. I started with a small heat press from Amazon, my work laptop, and a Cricut.
Habitually Fly
Courtesy of Habitually Fly
Traci Blanco, Founding Creative
When someone is just starting out, what are three essential things that they need?
Three essential components are 1) a clear niche because it will tell you who your ideal client is and where to find them; 2) a marketing budget because without marketing you don't have a business and 3) an e-commerce website because [putting on your socials] "DM to purchase" is ineffective.
How do you select price points in order to make a profit?
Price points are chosen based on the wholesale costs of all the T-shirt components and the profit margin you're shooting for. This formula can be used to help: Retail Price = [(cost to produce) ÷ (100-profit %)] x 100.
Izzy & Liv
Courtesy of Izzy & Liv
Nicole W. Brown, CEO
I checked out your backstory; it's super-inspiring. What has been the challenges with balancing running a brand and having a family?
The biggest challenge is the fact there really is no such thing as "balance". You cannot give 100 percent to multiple interests because there is only one of you. So even if you are giving 50/50, while that may be an equitable "balance" in the true sense of the word, that still leaves you with the guilt of feeling like you have fallen short, which is a struggle.
For me, it's more a question of how can I "juggle" it all? How can I keep all of these balls in the air and not drop any of them? Also, accepting the fact that I can only have one or two balls in my hand at any given moment, but as long as the other balls are still thriving in the air, all is good. I have four children and there are days where one child may need more attention and focus than another. Being aware of that and giving each child the individualized attention that they need, when they need it, is "balance" for me. And, as an entrepreneur, in some ways, my business is my fifth child. Both my business and my children require constant nurturing and attention to grow and be successful. I do my best to juggle them all and make sure that no ball is dropped.
However, at the end of the day, no matter what, my children and my family come first. So, if I have the business ball in my hand but one of my children need me, that business ball goes right back up in the air, no question.
T-shirt lines are super expensive. What's your advice when it comes to running one without breaking the bank?
I'm a fan of starting out with drop-shipping/print on demand, especially if your budget is limited. This allows you to sell your designs without having to invest in inventory and with little upfront cost of goods. You pay for what you sell as you go and it allows you to see what designs are a hit and what designs are a miss (proof of concept).
From there, you can focus on improving your margins by transitioning your best-selling designs to an inventory model where you produce more in bulk, which costs you less per unit. You can also look into learning how to print your own t-shirts. However, be prepared to be able to scale that operation as your sales increase.
Pink Grey NYC
Courtesy of Pink Grey NYC
Cici, Owner
What are the pros and cons of having an Etsy store?
A major pro of having an Etsy store is the direct marketing Etsy provides [such as] emailing customers on your behalf and directing customers to your shop. A major con is the fees…I would say for an Etsy shop, the cost may be around $500. Having your own stand-alone website will ensure that all profits go to you…but, in my experience, you'll always end up spending more than whatever [is in] your budget.
What, in your opinion, are the keys to success in running a Black female-owned T-shirt business?
Not being afraid to ask for help is the key to doing anything successfully. While it can be rewarding to do everything on your own, it can also be really difficult and maybe even a little unrealistic. So, make sure you have a good support system, whether its friends, family, or members of your church. Utilize those relationships, and never hesitate to ask for help, whether it be connections for discounts on supplies or just for words of encouragement when running your business gets stressful. Having a circle of people who support you and who are there for you can be a lifesaver!
Feature image by Habitually Fly.
Related Articles:
Manage Your Full-Time Job With Your Side Business With These Easy Tips – Read More
This Company Is Using T-shirts To Empower Black Women & Promote Excellence – Read More
'These Pink Lips' Founder Iris Bonner Built a Brand That's Provocatively Empowering – Read More
- The Most Common Mistakes That Keep Us From Reaching Business Goals - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- 6 Ways To Start A Business With Little To No Money - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- From Idea To T-shirt: How To Start Your Own Successful T-shirt Line ... ›
- 3 Ways to Start a T-shirt Business to Create & Sell T-shirts Online ›
- How To Start A Successful Online T-Shirt Business ›
- Eager to Start a T-Shirt Business? Here's the Secret Recipe ›
- Starting Your Own T-Shirt Line? — Fantasy T-Shirts ›
- Rules About How NOT To Start A T-Shirt Company ›
- How to Start a Home Based T-Shirt Business ›
- START YOUR T-SHIRT BUSINESS WITH $0!?? - YouTube ›
- How to Start a T-Shirt Business: The Ultimate Guide ›
- How To Start A T-Shirt Business In 24 Hours ›
It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
There’s just something about HBCU Homecoming that just hits different. Whether it’s your first time stepping onto the yard since graduation or you’re a regular at every Homecoming tailgate, HBCU pride is undeniable. It’s a vibrant celebration that unites the legacy of excellence and tradition with the energy and resilience of Black culture.
The experience goes beyond a typical college reunion; HBCU Homecoming is a family reunion, a fashion show, a cultural festival, and a week-long turn-up that embodies what it means to be unapologetically Black and educated. For HBCU alumni, the journey back to the yard each year is rooted in a love and pride that’s hard to put into words but impossible to deny.
From statement pieces to tech must-haves, every item represents the intersection of Black pride and HBCU love, ensuring that you show up to the yard in style and with intention. So whether you’re repping your alma mater for the first time since graduation or looking for fresh pieces to express your HBCU pride, these essentials will have you standing out, because, at HBCU Homecoming, it’s not just about showing up—it’s about showing out.
Thread Goals
diarrablu Jant Pants in Alia Noir
High-waisted, wide-legged, and ready to shut down the yard, the Jant Pants by diarrablu bring a whole new meaning to campus chic. Handcrafted in Dakar, Senegal, these free-flowing jacquard pants are perfect for stepping onto the yard with style and ease—making them a must-have for any HBCU alum’s closet.
Silver & Riley Convertible Executive Leather Bag Classic Size in Olive
This all-in-one luxury bag isn’t a bestseller for nothing. The Silver & Riley essential is made of Italian calfskin leather and thoughtfully designed, as it can be worn in four different ways: a shoulder bag, crossbody, a top handle, and a backpack. Chic and elegant, the Convertible Executive Leather bag is “the bag that every woman needs in her collection.”
Renowned Women's Intuition Cotton Graphic T-Shirt
Renowned
Renowned’s Women’s Intuition Cotton Graphic T-shirt features a bold graphic print inspired by the power and essence of women’s intuition. With its striking design, this all-cotton tee is a vibrant thing, making it a statement piece that celebrates feminine energy.
Mifland Million M Mesh Crop Shirt
Talk about bold, the Million M Mesh Crop Shirt combines edgy style with comfort, featuring Mifland’s signature print on a semi-see-through mesh fabric. Show up and show out in sophisticated flair.
HBCU Love FUBU
Melanin Is Life Melanated & Educated - I Love My HBCU Hoodie
Show off your HBCU love with this piece that represents everything you gained from your alma mater: a top-tier education, a community that lifts you up, and a deep sense of esteem for yourself and your culture. Wear it loud and proud, because being melanated and educated isn’t just a flex—it’s a legacy.
HBCU Culture Spelmanite Sweatshirt in Navy
Spelmanites, rep your Spelman pride with this unisex crewneck sweatshirt, designed for ultimate comfort and a relaxed fit. Made from a cozy cotton/polyester blend, this classic sweatshirt is as durable as it is stylish—making it an ideal piece for any Spelmanite showing love for their alma mater.
HBCU Culture Howard Is The Culture T-Shirt
Rock the ultimate flex by showcasing your Howard U love with HBCU Culture’s Howard Is The Culture t-shirt. This unisex tee offers a comfortable, relaxed fit that’s perfect for celebrating your HBCU spirit without sacrificing style or comfort.
DungeonForward FAMU - Strike Bucket - Reversible
DungeonForward’s Strike Bucket Hat brings versatility and style to the FAMU Crown collection with its reversible design, giving you two looks in one. Featuring a sleek black snakeskin-embossed brim lining and a bold outline Rattler emblem, this hat is all about repping your Rattler pride in style.
DungeonForward Savannah State University - HBCU Hat - TheYard
The Savannah State University HBCU Hat by DungeonForward is more than just a hat—it’s a symbol of Tiger pride and a nod to the culture. Perfect for gamedays, tailgates, or just showing off your HBCU love, this hat lets you carry a piece of the yard wherever you go.
Tech the Halls
Anker iPhone 16 Portable Charger, Nano Power Bank
Stay charged up with the Anker Nano Power Bank, which features dual USB-C ports, a foldable connector, and a compact design, making it perfect for those HBCU tailgates and late-night parties you pull up to.
Drip Check
Wisdom Frame 14 Square Sunglasses
Elevate your look with these angular square-frame sunglasses by Wisdom, bringing an ultramodern edge to any outfit. The sleek design makes them perfect for blocking out the haters while you stunt on the yard.
Coco and Breezy Eyewear Fortune in Gray Turquoise
The Fortune Glasses in Grey Turquoise is a bold statement piece to any Homecoming weekend ‘fit that “embody our fearless and outspoken DNA.” With their color and edgy design, these frames by Coco and Breezy are perfect for anyone looking to stand out and express their unapologetic confidence.
Howard U Lapel Pin
Rep your Bison pride wherever you go with this Howard U Lapel Pin from Pretty AmbVision. Whether adding it to your jacket, shirt, or bag, this pin is the perfect way to showcase your love for your alma mater while rocking your HBCU love with honor and distinction.
Mifland Standard Rucksack Mini
The Standard Rucksack is designed to evolve like that HBCU pride—getting richer, bolder, and better with time. Durable, stylish, and built to last, this Rucksack by Mifland is a timeless piece equipped with versatile carrying options and fully adjustable back straps for ultimate comfort.
Stay Fresh, Stay Blessed
Slip Pure Silk Sleep Mask in Pink
Keeping it cute starts with beauty sleep. This luxurious silk mask is an essential for a reason. If protecting your skin and waking up refreshed is your priority, look no further than this Homecoming essential.
Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier Lemon Lime - Hydration Powder Packets
Stay hydrated and energized throughout Homecoming weekend with this Liquid I.V.® Hydration Multiplier in Lemon Lime. Just add a packet to your water bottle, and bless your body with 2-3 times more hydration than water with every packet. Because staying hydrated is the key to popping up and showing out all weekend long!
Loop Experience Plus Earplugs High Fidelity Hearing Protection
Designed for your hearing protection, these sleek earplugs reduce noise without compromising sound quality—perfect for enjoying the band’s halftime show, late-night parties, and DJ sets. Whether you’re front row at the step show or hitting the yard, your ears deserve to be protected in style!
Black Girl Magic Glass Cup
Sip in style and celebrate your melanin with the Black Girl Magic Glass Cup. Perfect for morning coffee, your favorite iced drink, or showing off your HBCU pride on the yard—this cup is all about keeping it cute while radiating your endless supply of Black Girl Magic.
Glow Up & Show Out
Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30
What Homecoming weekend can be complete without an assist from this beauty find? Formulated to blend seamlessly into melanin-rich skin (no white-cast), protect your glow while you turn up with the Black Girl Sunscreen SPF 30.
Sienna Naturals Issa Rae's Wash Day Ritual Set
Issa Rae’s Wash Day Ritual Set from Sienna Naturals includes the H.A.PI. Shampoo, the Plant Power Repair Mask, Dew Magic, and Lock and Seal to get your crown right. Whether you’re repping your coils or rocking a new color on the yard, these products restore and nourish your strands, keeping your hair healthy, strong, and Homecoming-ready!
54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter
Stay glowing from the tailgate to the after-party with the 54 Thrones Ivorian Cocoa + Ghanaian Coconut Beauty Butter. Infused with African-sourced ingredients, this rich, multi-purpose butter is the answer to keeping your skin soft and radiant through all the festivities all Homecoming long.
Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil
Keep your lips looking luscious and nourished with the Saie Glossybounce Hydrating Lip Oil. Perfect for adding an extra pop to your pout before hitting the yard or freshening up between events, this lip oil is a beauty essential for staying camera-ready all weekend.
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image by Visual Vic/Getty Images
King Solomon once said that death and life are within the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21). What that basically means is, contrary to what pop culture likes to say, pretty much on repeat, it’s not just actions that mean something — words do as well. That’s why we need to be very clear and intentional about the ones that we speak.
This is something that I find myself saying to a friend of mine, fairly often, whenever she gets down on herself about not completing as many goals as she would like on any given day (or week or month). Now, mind you, she’s a single mom, she’s juggling three different careers, and one of them requires that she travel a fair amount.
And yet, in her eyes, if her mind tells her that it would like to go for a walk with no phone or her body tells her that it needs a nap before doing anything else, the first word that she uses to describe these feelings is “lazy;” meanwhile, I’ve been trying to get her into the habit of saying “tired” instead. Why? Because, even aside from Scripture, science also states that words program our mind — and if you don’t get into the habit of using the right ones, at the appropriate times, that could lead to unnecessary bouts of stress, anxiety, self-induced pressure, and disappointment.
So if, like my friend, you tend to use the word “lazy” a lot whenever you’re not able to check off as much on your to-do list as you would like, take a moment to learn (or revisit) the difference between what it means to be lazy and what it means to be tired — so that you can either change your lifestyle habits ASAP or you can give your mind, body and spirit the rest and TLC that it so richly deserves.
What It Actually Means to Be Lazy
GiphyLaziness is basically defined as doing whatever it takes to avoid work or activity. It also means that one is idle or sluggish. Some synonyms for lazy include apathetic (for the record, TIME published an article entitled, “It’s Harder Than Ever to Care About Anything” a few years back), careless, and passive. In my mind, whenever I think of how a lazy person lives, they pretty much just let life happen to them without much energy or effort on their part — and y’all, that ain’t good.
It's the late Kobe Bryant who once said, “I can't relate to lazy people. We don't speak the same language. I don't understand you. I don't want to understand you.” When you stop to think about the legacy that he left behind at only 41 years of age, him saying something like that definitely tracks. And since I am definitely a quotes girl, other ones that stand out when it comes to the topic of laziness include “Lazy people tend not to take chances, but express themselves by tearing down other's work” (Ann Rule), “Tomorrow is the only day in the year that appeals to a lazy man” (Jimmy Lyons) and “The only people who think life should be easy are lazy people.” (Robert Kiyosaki) Hmph.
Sounds to me like lazy people like to edit other people’s work rather than write their own stories (some of y’all will catch that later), procrastinate like a mutha (more on that in just a sec), and have an attitude of extreme entitlement (Lawd!).
Now, believe you me, I’m not saying that laziness is not a thing — hell, even an epidemic even in this country; there are plenty of articles out here to support that. All I’m saying is that before you call or consider yourself to be that, you should really ponder those quotes and also check out some actual ways that laziness presents itself.
1. Laziness procrastinates.
People who are easily distracted. People who put things off until the last minute. People who set goals and don’t follow through. People who (eh hem)blow hours on social media. People who struggle to get started and/or miss deadlines. These are all examples of what it means to be a procrastinator and since20 percent of Americans are considered to be chronic ones — yeah, that’s pretty problematic. It explains why many people who fall into this category don’t reach their goals and why many others are stressed out most of the time.
2. Laziness doesn’t take responsibility for its actions.
A lack of accountability is a form of laziness — for a billion different reasons. When you don’t take responsibility for the choices that you make, that keeps you from growing, holistically so, as an individual.
Personally, I have had to release many people over the course of my life because they keep on doing toxic ish and finding some way to blame it on everyone and everything but themselves — which just keeps the cyclic nonsense going.
Life has taught me that you can’t change folks; you can just step back, assess, and then decide if you want to participate in what they have going on…or not. Anyway, if you’re not intentional about growth, evolution, and where need be, transition, laziness definitely could be the culprit.
3. Laziness is full of excuses.
Speaking of not being accountable, a sign that someone is caught up in that matrix is if they are constantly making excuses for their actions (or lack thereof). Folks who get defensive when they are asked for explanations tend to make excuses. Folks who like to gaslight or deflect tend to make excuses. Folks, who will blame everyone, including their cat or dog, for why they fail to do certain things? They definitely make excuses.
And before some of you ask, yes, there is a difference between making a litany of excuses and offering up a viable explanation — an excuse skirts around matters while an explanation clarifies them. Lazy folks do the former. People who try to move in a mature and reliable space lean in to the latter.
4. Laziness doesn’t honor its commitments.
Wanna know two other synonyms for lazy? Inattentive and indifferent, and y’all, I can’t tell you how many times I have told a couple in a session whose marriage is crumbling that the main reason why is because one or both of them appear to be hella lazy — yep, by the mere definitions (well, synonyms) of the word. That’s why I’m not big on people solely doing things based on how they feel because all sorts of things can cause one’s feelings to change, pretty much on a dime. Not only that, but a commitment is supposed to supersede ever-changing feelings.
When you make a promise (or vow), you should do everything in your power to keep it and maintain it, which includes being attentive and not having an “oh well” or “ho-hum” attitude towards what or who you committed to. Lazy individuals? They don’t see it this way. They pretty much suck at committing because that requires actual…well, effort. Not to mention maturation and endurance.
5. Laziness chooses to waste time. Often.
A part of the reason why I wrote “These Bad Habits Are Totally Wasting Your Time” a few years back is because, without question, one of the absolute worst things that you could ever do is waste your time. Why? Because time is something that you can’t get back. Lazy people don’t really care about that because they tend to be pretty presumptuous when it comes to time — meaning, they tend to jack theirs off because they think one of my favorite Chinese proverbs quotes is a joke: “It’s later than you think.”
While self-aware people make the most of their time, lazy people don’t value it very much…at all.
What It Truly Means to Be Tired
GiphyOkay, so now that you’ve reviewed what laziness looks like, can you relate or, no? The truth is that, at some point or another, all of us display certain signs of being lazy; the thing to keep in mind is having a lazy moment or day is very different than being a lazy individual, in general.
And what if you read all of those lazy points, and they definitely didn’t “scratch the itch” of what you’ve got going on right now? If that is indeed the case, have you ever stopped to consider that you are genuinely tired?
Here are five signs of how that typically manifests:
1. You’ve overwhelmed.
I currently have a client who picks the oddest hill to die on. Although he admits that he’s a supreme workaholic, and it causes him to not give his best at home when it comes to his family, whenever I respond to that by saying that he is overwhelmed, for some reason, he almost always pushes back.
For some reason, he sees that word as a sign of weakness when I know that it simply means that he is A) overworked, B) dealing with too much pressure and/or stress from their professional and/or personal relationships, and/or C) has way too much on their plate.
And when that is the case, it’s easy to either feel some sort of mental or emotional paralysis or to become so confused or burdened that you’re not exactly sure what you should do (next). That doesn’t mean you’re lazy. More times than not, what you are is drained. Exhausted even. And this brings me to the next point.
2. You’re exhausted.
A couple of years ago, Women’s Health published an article entitled, “Why Am I Always So Tired? 15 Reasons You’re Dealing With Seriously Low Energy And Fatigue.” Some of the reasons that it listed include allergies, underlying health issues, eating too much sugar and carbs (which can cause your energy levels to spike and then crash), being sleep-deprived, having low iron levels, dealing with a thyroid problem and/or being super stressed out.
To me, the biggest takeaway that comes from this one is if you’re so worn out that you can’t seem to get anything done, journal about your eating and sleeping habits for a week and definitely make an appointment to see your doctor. Not having the energy to do anything isn’t “laziness” — it’s usually a health and/or lifestyle-related issue.
3. You don’t prioritize your needs.
Wanna know some signs that you don’t prioritize yourself? You don’t have some sort of TLC maintenance like mani/pedis, facials, and/or massages on your (regular) schedule. You feel guilty when you make yourself unavailable to other people. You can’t remember the last time you did something for yourself without wondering if you should’ve put it off or done something for someone else instead.
You basically feel like you’re on autopilot. You rarely do things just for the fun of it. Pretty much all of us have heard that we can’t be much good to others if we’re already running on fumes, and if you’re not making you and your needs a top priority in your life, that is exactly how you are moving throughout this thing called life.
4. You never salute your efforts.
Something that I’ve noticed is a trait of overly ambitious people is all that they really focus on is what’s next. What I mean by that is, that whenever they set a goal and accomplish it, they rarely (if ever) make the time to celebrate what they’ve done. Instead, they just move on to the next thing on their list. The problem with this mindset is you’re never going to stop growing until you die in pretty much any area of your life.
And so, if all you think about is what you need to do next, at some point, it can either lead to feelings of discontentment or even discouragement if you’re not careful — and both of these can take a real toll on your mind, body and spirit.
That’s why (and I’ve said this many times before), I try to make it a habit to toast myself at the end of each and every day. Why? Because each day is new, which means that there is something that I’ve done — big or small — that has gotten me closer to the type of person I want to become or where in my life that I want to be, and saluting that helps me to feel revitalized instead of weary or depleted. That said, when was the last time that you celebrated yourself? Real talk.
5. You don’t take (regular) breaks.
If you don’t utilize your breaks and lunchtime at work, if you don’t take naps every once in a while, if you don’t choose a day during the week to get off of the grid (at least for half of the day), if you don’t go on a vacation at least once a year (even if it’s just for a long weekend) — you are not good at taking breaks, and that can definitely cause you to feel super tired sooner or later.
Earlier this year, USA Today published, "Americans are the worst (globally) at taking vacation time." Since vacations help to relax and de-stress you, if you can’t remember the last time that you went on one — no wonder you are so damn tired.
5 Tips for Feeling Less Tired
GiphyAight, so what if you just read through all of the tired points and realized that you really have been too hard on yourself — that not being able to get as much done isn’t because you’re lazy, and it really is because you’re simply…tired? If that is indeed the case, here are five hacks that can help to revive and reactivate you…at least a lil’ bit.
1. Identify the source.
Person, place, thing, idea — all of the above. If you’re feeling tapped out, the first thing you need to do is figure out who and/or what is the cause. If it’s your job, are you staying past the time that you need to leave? If it’s your kids, do you have them on a schedule (especially when it comes to bedtime)? If it’s a friend, is it a functional (give and take) or dysfunctional (you’re doing most of the giving) situation?
Being tired is your mind or body’s way of letting you know that something is out of balance. Identifying the source is how you can restore things back to where they need to be.
2. Set better boundaries.
A writer by the name of Jessica Moore once said, “Our boundaries define our personal space — and we need to be sovereign there in order to be able to step into our full power and potential.” Author Brené Brown once said, “When we fail to set boundaries and hold people accountable, we feel used and mistreated. This is why we sometimes attack who they are, which is far more hurtful than addressing a behavior or a choice.”
A quote that is used in one of my email signatures is by another author named Nick Chellsen; it says, “Boundaries are what you say 'no' to. Priorities are what you say 'yes' to.” All of these things speak to being okay with saying “no” sometimes and for remembering that you have more power over your world than you think, no matter what requests or pseudo-demands people try to put on you.
3. Shorten your to-do list.
To-do lists are great because they can help you organize your time, which ultimately means that you are organizing your life. That said, if you’ve never heard of the 1-3-5 rule, consider implementing it for the next couple of weeks.
The gist is that you jot down nine things that you need (or want) to get done on a daily basis: one big thing, three medium-sized things, and five small things. Try to do the biggest thing first, and the rest should relatively be a breeze.
An exercise like this is bomb because not only will it “train” you to be more realistic with your time (so that you don’t get overwhelmed by trying to do too much in a 24-hour cycle), but it will give you a great sense of accomplishment once you’ve checked everything off at the end of each day.
4. Give yourself a daily 30-minute break.
Something that I will sometimes recommend married clients do is to greet each other at the end of the day and then leave each other alone for 30-45 minutes so that they can “reprogram” their psyche from work to home life. So many find it to be uber effective because, as a husband-friend of mine oftentimes says, “If we’re constantly going from one atmosphere to the next without slowing down, all we end up doing is ‘stripping our gears.’”
Those are some serious words of wisdom right there. So yeah, after work, before doing ANYTHING, take 30 minutes to just…chill: sip on some tea, take a quick nap, do some meditating — whatever doesn’t require a ton of energy or effort and will get you to slow down for a sec.
5. Plan for a life of balance.
I’ll end here. Again, being tired means that you need to bring something back into balance, and, as a wise person once said the word, “Life is all about balance. You don’t always need to be getting stuff done. Sometimes, it’s perfectly okay, and absolutely necessary, to shut down, kick back and do nothing. If you work hard, play hard, and rest well; that’s what balance is all about.
____
If you know that you’ve got some lazy habits that need to change, there is no time like the present to do so. However, if you just got the confirmation that you need that you are T-I-R-E-D, listen to yourself and do what needs to be done…which is probably less…for now.
Listen, there’s absolutely no shame in being tired — just ignoring your mind or body when it tells you so.
So, stop feeling guilty, so that you can get to feeling better. Amen, sis? Selah.
NOW REST.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by MementoJpeg/Getty Images