This article is in partnership with You Need A Budget.
As the luster of the new year kicks in and we begin checking off our goals and resolutions, it should come as no surprise that getting our finances together is at the top of our lists. Last year was marked with a lot of uncertainty, especially the financial kind, making it necessary to get our houses in order. If you were to ask anyone how to take control of their finances, they'd recommend starting a budget. For those of us unfamiliar with being on a budget, the idea of having one can feel daunting.
In addition to adjusting to checking in with your checking account to track expenses, knowing how to start a budget is foundationally a task in and of itself. There's no reason this year can't be everything you dreamed of when it comes to financial stability. Coming through with the skills to pay the bills (literally) is the personal budgeting software company, You Need A Budget. Below are some YNAB-approved tried and true tips on how to start a budget.
1. Know the Rules for Successful Budgeting.
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Before even beginning to create your budget, You Need A Budget is a firm believer in knowing the rules. More specifically, the "Four Rules for Successful Budgeting". Though YNAB provides you with a plethora of tools to get you started with a finely-crafted budget that speaks to you, your life, and your budget, they pack more of a punch in conjunction with these simple but transformative rules to budgeting.
- Give Every Dollar a Job: Allocate the money that you earn to specific needs, wants, and nice-to-haves in accordance with your personal budget. It's the difference between seeing an extra $100 in your account and blowing it immediately on food or clothes, and redirecting that "extra" cash someplace that will add more value to your financial goals overall.
- Embrace Your True Expenses: Instead of feeling overwhelmed by infrequent expenses, plan for them and treat them like a monthly "bill". This means your car breaking down, your annual birthday trip, and/or Christmas presents for everyone at the end of the year won't feel like such a blow to your finances. Instead, they are funds that you have added to in increments to fund throughout your year.
- Roll with the Punches: Don't feel pressured to stick to your budget to the T, instead be flexible and make adjustments where needed. For example, if you had a grocery budget of $200 for the month, but it ended up being $300, it isn't the end of the world or your budget. Instead, it just means being creative about making a necessary adjustment in another category to accommodate the overspending in one.
- Age Your Money: Perhaps one of the most important rules in the rule of four, this rule refers to being more intentional about the way you spend money through the goal of getting a month ahead. By doing the other three rules that were mentioned and spending less money than you earn, over time you are setting yourself up to be able to use your paycheck from the month before to cover expenses for the current month. The beauty in this is that by allowing your money to "age" and stay in your account longer, you are lessening the financial burden of feeling like you are living paycheck-to-paycheck.
2. Choose a Tool to Create Your Budget
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Perhaps just as important as implementing YNAB's aforementioned budgeting rules is choosing the right tool to create your budget. Do you want to go old school and track your expenses manually on pen and paper through bullet journaling? Do you want to crunch numbers through an Excel spreadsheet or a Google Sheet? Additionally, there are online methods that allow you to create your budget like Mint.com as well as banking institutions that typically have a "free" option built into your accounts.
Another favored option for creating your budget is the ease and use of apps as a budgeting tool. Apps like You Need A Budget allow users to create and customize a personal budget at their fingertips while allowing you to stay up-to-date with your expenses in realtime, no additional legwork or calculations needed. Once you figure out the framework you wish to utilize in order to meet your budgeting needs, you can officially start filling the blanks in creating your budget.
3. Note Your Monthly Income.
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You can't begin to track or allocate what goes out of your account month to month without having a clear understanding of what you bring in each month. You can figure out how much you make each month by reviewing your bank statements or pay stubs and calculating what's been deposited. For people with a traditional employer, this should be relatively easy. Also make note of anything you earn from side jobs or passive income streams you might have.
4. Write out Your Monthly Expenses.
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Keep stock of your monthly expenses by writing them down. Truthfully, a lot of us go through each month, and spend what we have until we're back at 0 without much knowledge or understanding of what our expenses are and exactly how much we're spending each month. Use a personal budgeting app like You Need A Budget or analyze your bank statements for a span of three months to gain insight on your spending habits over a period of time. Your monthly expenses may include:
- Rent/Mortgage
- Cell phone
- Eating out
- Debt repayment/student loans
- Credit card
- Groceries
- Car note
- Car insurance
- Gas
- Utilities
- Streaming services
- Internet
- Savings
- Travel
- Clothes
- Pampering
- Personal grooming (hair, nails, wax, etc)
- Misc
5. Create Sub-sections for Fixed Expenses and Variable Expenses.
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Fixed expenses liked rent payments or mortgage payments, utilities, car payments, student loans/debt repayment, and/or childcare are expenses that don't change month-to-month, so you can write them down with confidence, knowing that the payment for these expenses are "fixed" each month. Examples of this include:
- Rent/mortgage
- Utilities
- Student loan/debt repayment
- Credit card
- Car insurance
- Health insurance
- Car payment
- Emergency fund
In contrast, variable expenses vary each month, and though you might be spending money on the same kind of expenses monthly (i.e. food, shopping, entertainment), the amount you spend changes each month. For example, you might go from spending $200 on eating out one month, $150 the next, and jump to $400 another month. That being said, expenses like groceries, eating out, entertainment, shopping, and gas tend to fall in this category.
In your budget, assign a dollar amount that you want to act as your threshold for how much you will allow yourself to spend for the month.
6. Adjust the Budget Based on Your Needs.
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Based on the numbers you've spent in all of these areas over a span of three months, acknowledge what you're spending on each category and, based on your monthly income, adjust where needed. You might find that after all of your wants and needs are written down in front of you, you actually have a surplus of money left over which actually invites you to reallocate those funds elsewhere (like putting more money onto your debt repayment or your emergency fund, for example). This will help better provide you with a baseline and a foundation for tracking your expenses.
However, if you discover that you're spending way too much money, it might mean adjusting your variable expenses to better accommodate your fixed expenses without leaving you in the red or your bank account overdrawn. Likewise, you might also consider finding ways to increase your income.
7. Add in Your Wants.
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Now that we've more than covered your needs, it is important to make room for your wants. We are not machines and it does not make sense to create a budget that focuses so much on needs that you forget to give yourself some wiggle room to use the money you earn on yourself here and there. Most importantly, where it makes sense.
Adding in your wants looks like including room for "treating yourself", budgeting for those shoes you've been eyeing even if it means putting a little money away for four months until you have enough to buy it, or a monthly facial or massage. Whatever it is, make sure you budget for it, so that when whims pop up, it doesn't obliterate your bank account in the process.
For more information on how to make your financial dreams a reality or how to create your own personalized budget, visit You Need A Budget today.
Featured image by Shutterstock
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The Mecca Of Fashion: The Top Street Style Moments At Howard Homecoming
Outfits were planned, bags were packed, and cameras were ready to capture Howard University's collegiate spirit during its centennial Homecoming celebration. Not only does it hold the number one ranking as the most elite Historically Black College and University or its top performing academics, diversity of students and alumni, but the HBCU also leaves a legacy of style and grace.
The essence of effortless poise and refinement shines bright through the iconic university colors of indigo blue, red, and white. Every October, Howard University students, alumni, staff, and friends gather on the prestigious campus in Washington, D.C. to take part in time-honored traditions and events, which is Homecoming. This year's theme, “The Meccaverse,” was a week-long celebration of Howard University’s heritage, including the Homecoming football game and Bison Pep Rally, the Fashion Show, Greek Life Step Show, Homecoming Day of Service, Lavender Reception, and the iconic Yard Fest Concert.
As 2024 marked the 100th anniversary of the Howard Bison trek back to The Mecca and after two years of virtual events due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this was to be a celebration of a lifetime. We enlisted HU alumnus Sharmaine Harris, a luxury retail buyer, as she revisited her alma mater as eyes on the yard for fashion-forward outfits mixed with personal style and campus pride for the weeklong celebration.
Before we get to the looks, discover how attending Howard University impacted her career in fashion and her day-to-day style:
Credit: Sharmaine and Friends
xoNecole: Describe your personal style. Did attending Howard have any impact on developing it?
Sharmaine: Howard taught me that there’s no such thing as being TOO dressed. There’s always a reason to “put it on” and look presentable, even if it’s just for a day of classes. Standing out was celebrated and encouraged with my peers embracing the opportunity, giving me the confidence to try new styles and trends.
xoNecole: How did Howard shape your career as a luxury buyer?
Sharmaine: I studied Fashion Merchandising, through which I was fortunate to have professors who were very connected to the industry and able to give first-hand accounts of opportunities and what to expect post-college. I was also able to build a network through my peers and other Howard Alum, which has opened doors to endless possibilities both within fashion as well as daily life.
The same confidence instilled in me through my style has also been rooted deeply within me as I step into any role or project I’m faced with throughout my career.
xoNecole: This year marked Howard’s 100th-anniversary Homecoming celebration. Can you describe what the weekend looked and felt like?
Sharmaine: I’ve gone to many Howard Homecomings since graduating, but this year’s 100th anniversary felt like a huge family reunion filled with nothing but love. It was beautiful to see so many Bison return home looking great and radiating joy. It was beautiful!
xoNecole: What makes Howard fashion different from other HBCUs?
Sharmaine: Being that Howard is The Mecca, we have such a diverse population with each individual having their own spin on fashion. Getting dressed is second nature for us, but the layered confidence is our secret ingredient to make any look come together. Through that comfortability to push barriers, we have a legacy of setting trends, as indicated by the many alumni we have in the fashion and entertainment industry.
Keep scrolling for the top street style moments from The Mecca's Homecoming weekend:
Credit: Lacey Gallagher
Credit: Alan Henderson
Credit: JaLynn Davis
Credit: Dylan Davis
Credit: Caleb Smith
Credit: Kendall W.
Credit: Jordyn Finney
Credit: Vanessa Nneoma
Credit: Dr. Mariah Sankey-Thomas
Credit: Caleb MacBruce
Credit: Tiffany Battle
Credit: Teniola
Credit: Ilahi Creary
Credit: Nicolas Ryan Grant
Credit: Dylan Davis
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image courtesy of Sharmaine Harris
So…I wanna say that it must’ve been when I was either in the seventh or eighth grade that I participated in a series of etiquette classes.
As antiquated as that might sound to some these days and although I don’t remember a ton about them, what I am forever grateful for is learning how to properly set a table and what utensils to use at big formal dinners. When you’re a kid, you think stuff like that is totally unnecessary. Oh, but grow up, move in some circles and you’d be surprised how much random tips will hold you down in a pinch.
Anyway, in my personal opinion, when it comes to sexual activity, there should also be etiquette that should be applied — you know, “rules of conduct” (or engagement) for how we should expect to be treated and how we choose to treat others. Because, even if you don’t hear about sex being presented in the form of needing to have manners, having a certain level of decorum, and/or requiring a mutual level of dignity, that should absolutely be the case.
And just like some of the lifestyle etiquette tips that I learned back in the day have stayed with me all of this time, it’s my hope that if you aren’t applying (or requiring) the following 10 sex etiquette suggestions (all 10 of ‘em too) that you will start…so that they will remain with you as well.
1. Discuss Sex-Related Things That Will Directly Impact Y’all’s Health
GiphyDoes even one day go by when someone on Instagram, X, or TikTok isn’t talking about why someone should or should not know another person’s body count (check out “6 Things About The Whole 'Body Count' Debate That Should Be Discussed”)? Although I have been known to say that the kind of things we’re proud of, we tend to brag about without hesitation, that doesn’t mean that I think people are owed that type of information.
That being said, that doesn’t mean I’m not aware that there is science to back up that the more sex partners men have, the more that they increase their chances for being diagnosed with cancer; that a higher amount of sex partners can impact whether or not you get married (and that it tends to lead to divorce more often as well), and that an uptick in partners can even increase your chance of becoming a substance abuser.
Not to mention the fact that, as Dwayne Wayne once said on A Different World episode (that featured a great performance by Tisha Campbell), “the longer the list, the greater the risk” (of contracting an STI/STD) — however, if we’re looking at this point from nothing more than a sexual one, really what someone deserves to know is if you’ve been tested for STI/STDs within the past 6-12 months and, if not, if you’re willing to get tested prior to having sex with them. Anything else really is privileged information and totally up to the individual to share — both directions too.
2. This Includes Afterplay. Beforehand.
GiphyChile. I can’t tell you how many times someone has told me that they found themselves either embarrassed or flat-out pissed about how a sexual experience went. It wasn’t because of the sex itself; it was more about how things were handled afterward. Now, if you’ve never seen the (wow) 35-year-old film When Harry Met Sally (Billy Crystal, Meg Ryan) before, there’s a scene where Billy Crystal’s character talks about men trying to figure out in their mind how long they should hold a woman after having sex with her.
To me, the modern version of this is after sex, when someone asks, “So, what are you about to do?” because that sounds like code for, “You ain’t got to go home but…” Listen, when two people have real feelings for each other and/or are in a long-term dynamic, this point is — or at least, should be — pretty irrelevant.
However, if you’re in a casual sex dynamic or a situationship, I promise you you're putting yourself in a position to “feel some type of way” if you merely assume that afterplay means cuddling all night long while he thinks it’s more like polite convo for 10 minutes and then bouncing (or vice versa). If you don’t want to be bedside blindsided, discuss beforehand how you each prefer to get down.
3. Ask Before Sexting
GiphyI don’t care if the two of you have never had sex before or if you’ve been doing it for a while at this point, but if sexting has never (pardon the pun) entered the chat, you both really should ask before you start sending NSFW stuff into each other’s devices. Some people don’t like it. Some people prefer to know when stuff like that is coming because they don’t want what is being said or shown to be exposed to those around them.
Some people prefer not to “shift gears” (as far as their energy field is concerned) when it comes to being in one mindset and all of a sudden receiving sex-related content that they weren’t prepared for. Believe it or not, there is data to support that the art of sexting can improve coitus overall. However, the same research says that it needs to transpire under the umbrella of mutual respect and clear communication. I agree 1000 percent.
4. No Means No. This Applies to Us Too, Ladies.
GiphyMedia culture can be so…irresponsible, sometimes. Since we’re talking about sex, specifically, today, take when it comes to men and sex. Contrary to popular belief, no, that is not all that they think about and no, they aren’t always in the mood — for a myriad of reasons. And that’s why, I think it also should go on record that just like it’s wrong for a man to try and push a woman past her “no,” women shouldn’t do it either.
It truly isn’t said enough that you shouldn’t simply call it seduction if a guy doesn’t want to and you keep trying to get him to anyway while defining it as coercion when the shoe is on the other foot. The saying “no means no” shouldn’t have a gender bias on it. Everyone should have their boundaries respected — at all times too. Full stop.
5. A Clean and Comfortable Scene
GiphyFresh bedding. A clean bathroom. A washcloth and towel for your partner. Flip-flops (to walk around and/or take a shower in). Lubricant. Bottled water. These are the kinds of things that immediately come to mind when I think of what should automatically come with someone spending intimate time in your home. It’s also what you should be fine with requiring should you choose to have sex at someone else’s house too.
Because even if there aren’t things like scented soy candles and a ton of ambiance, you and your partner at least need to feel like you both are in a space that is clean. This should be a hands-down non-negotiable, by the way.
6. Turn ALL Devices Off
GiphyI don’t know if this means that the sex is/was really wack or you’re just a phone addict in denial but if you are “one out of every five individuals” who checks their phone during sex, I’ve got a bevy of questions for you. SMDH. For this one, in general, though, I don’t have a lot more to say other than, I don’t know how anyone could think that checking their notifications during sex — any kind of sex — isn’t rude as hell and definitely a reason for someone to hard pass on wanting to “engage” with them ever again.
So yeah, for this one, let’s go with an automatic “all devices off” rule. Since most people only want sex to last somewhere between 7-13 minutes anyway (is that per round…or???), I’m pretty sure that whatever IG Live that you’ve been waiting on can wait. Goodness.
7. Have Your Own Stash of Condoms on Deck
GiphyAssuming that the guy should always bring the condoms is about as sexually irresponsible as a guy thinking that he doesn’t need them because the woman he’s about to have sex with should be on birth control. My point here is that you really need to have your own condom collection. One, so that you’re always prepared. Two, so that you can select the condoms that you prefer (most guys are totally fine with that). Three, no matter what you might think that it implies, mature folks get that it means you are serious about protecting your health and well-being.
And what if discretion is what you’re the most concerned about? No worries, there are all kinds of condom carriers out here that basically look like tiny wallets (for example, here).
8. Keep Cleansing Cloths Around
GiphyHygiene is important, is it not? Although going into graphic detail about it may be something that most people would want to avoid, sometimes sexual activity happens spontaneously with no bathroom close by. And listen, even if the movies act like (for instance) oral sex after getting all sweaty from dancing all night in the club is hot, my mind automatically goes to it being kinda gross. So, at least keep some rinse-free cleansing cloths on deck if you don’t want to wait until you can hop into a shower. A pack in your purse or glove compartment can go a really long way. Straight up.
9. Don’t Be a Show-Off
GiphyOne guy who I had sex with back when I was in college, I was so excited about — initially. At the time, he was fine, and then some mo’ fine. To be honest, although we were very cool and spent a couple of years on campus together before I — eh hem — indulged, the main reason why I wanted to sleep with him is because I thought that his looks were a preview of his performance level. Boy was I wrong. Any time I refer to our, umm, time together, I call it “Cirque du Soleil sex” and even that is being generous because that man was trying to put me into every twist and turn that he could in under 20 minutes.
It’s like he was trying to prove that he could hold it down…and all that ended up doing was backfiring — supremely so. Moral to the story here: sex should be about two people enjoying each other, not low-key trying to compete or “outdo” one another. Anyone who says otherwise is truly bringing poor form to the bedroom, whether they realize it or not.
10. Watch Your Words. Afterwards.
GiphyOn the heels of what I just said, if sex with your partner was pretty much the equivalent of watching paint dry, it’s still important to be thoughtful about what you say. Lack of empathy, being inconsiderate of their feelings, talking to them in a way that would damn near cause you to blow a gasket (or melt into the floor) if they did the same thing to you — all of this files under hella rude behavior.
And while we’re here, please watch your body language — you know, heavy sighs, eye-rolling, stonewalling…if you don’t want to have sex with them again, that is totally your right; that doesn’t mean that you have to humiliate them in the present, though. You know, A LOT of people carry their ego in the bedroom — male and female.
That’s why I write articles like “So, 10 Women Sat Down And Told Me Why They Fake Orgasms...More Times Than Not” and “Men Fake Orgasms (And 14 Other Semi-Random Things About Them In Bed).” So, whatever transpires, try to be kind and compassionate. Karma shows up, even in the bedroom. Make sure it’s proud of how you handled yourself. One way or another, you’ll be glad that you did.
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Sex etiquette. As you can see, it’s a very real and necessary thing. I’m curious, though. When you get a chance, hop in the comments to share some other “copulation manners” that you think are important, along with how you handle matters when they are missing or go awry. Hey, when it comes to having better sexual experiences, we’re all in this together.
Kinda. Sort of. You know what I mean. LOL.
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Featured image by Drazen Zigic/Getty Images