The older you get, the more you realize that life is all about reinvention, especially when it comes to your career. For some of us, this means leveling up in skills, emotional intelligence, and leadership mastery for a promotion, while for others, this means totally changing how we approach work, what we're known for, and the career we actively pursue.
This article is for the latter: for the sis whose current career has run its course, the professional who has outgrown her industry, or the woman who wants to lean a bit more heavily into other facets of being a multi-hyphenate creative. If you've made the decision to make a total 360 in your career, first, congrats.
It takes a lot of courage and a bit of crazy. And you're not alone. Queen Latifah went from bold '80s raptress rocking the regal crowns to acting in iconic sitcoms to becoming a music and Hollywood mogul. Rihanna was singing dancehall-laced tunes in the early 2000s, cut her hair and went pop (selling out global arenas), and is now a hot mama of two, taking billion-dollar beauty brand meetings.
Coco Jones went from giving us sugary-sweet Disney vibes to sultry R&B hits. Tracee Ellis Ross morphed from model-daughter-of-Diana-Ross to award-winning cult-classic actress, to fashion icon, to haircare brand boss. Eve was riding rough as a blond-haired hip-hop legend, got her own TV sitcom, then went into the shadows for a bit, only to emerge as the wife of a wealthy British entrepreneur and cash in on millions of her own(with a new book release to boot).
If these examples still don't convince you that you're on to something good, and you're a bit lost as to where to start your reinvention, try these steps to get you going:
1. Get honestly clear on who you are as a professional and what you currently offer.
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If you don't know who or what you already are in your career, you don't really have a foundation for envisioning who or what you can or will become. A great place to start is adding 30 minutes of devotional, silence, meditation, or prayer time in the morning or evening (or both). This creates space for self-reflection, gratitude, and positive vibes.
Then, carve out at least 30 minutes to an hour a day to write out who you think you are professionally and what people have said you are (i.e., performance reviews, LinkedIn recommendations, career success metrics, or verbal insights from work friends, mentors, and former managers who can offer constructive criticism as well as insights on what you're good at). Ask your network to support you in getting this information. (You can even get creative with this. I once sent surveys using Google Forms.)
Once you've done this assessment and you are clear on the actual reality of where you are (versus an inner perception that might be based on ego, trauma, fear, or, let's just be honest, lies fed by negative self-talk), plan for who and what you want to be, starting today, even if that happens in the form of a brain dump, vision board, or to-do list.
2. Dip a toe in that future career water first to get experience before taking the big leap.
More than a decade ago, award-winning actress Niecy Nash was known most for thriving in comedic roles until she advocated for herself and began to go for more dramatic parts. After six years of success with the early 2000s TV series, Reno 911!, (and several other comedic TV and film roles before that), she was mostly known for her ability to command attention through slapstick antics, satire, and witty comebacks. During that period, she still appeared in smaller roles on dramas like ER, CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, and NYPD Blue.
“Once they found out I was funny, it was like, ‘You’re just that,’ ” she told Backstageabout her start in comedy despite having dreams of being a dramatic actress. “But because I wanted to work, that part of my gift opened the door first. I rode the wave of that for quite a long time before it finally manifested into what I saw in my head at the beginning.”
Now, the 2020s have been a winning one for her, as she's won big among audiences and critics alike for her major dramatic roles in films and series like Selma, Scream Queens, Clawz, When They See Us, and Monster: The Jeffrey Dahmer Story.
Consider this as one powerful example of how making small strategic pivots to pursue elements of your major reinvention today can lead to big success tomorrow.
3. Take deliberate, but small steps to change your current habits.
This is especially important when your reinvention includes more financial freedom (or wealth) or you're looking to make a major physical change as part of your reinvention. In the very wise words of author Octavia Butler, “Habit is more dependable. Habit will sustain you whether you're inspired or not. … Habit is persistence in practice." And I'm sure you've read or heard this somewhere on social, but I'll remind you anyway, "You can't change while embracing the same habits."
Start with micro-actions and be consistent for 10, 20, or 30 days initially. This could be waking up 30 minutes earlier to work out, committing to (and even buying tickets for) two networking or professional events outside of your industry per month, or simply getting a new haircut or hair color (and setting the follow-up maintenance appointments immediately after your service is complete).
If you're a homebody but the new you requires more networking, get out there, even if it's to volunteer once a month. If you need additional skills, invest in a 6-week online course, certifications, or a 2-year program at a local community college (and allow the money you've paid to be your accountability partner.) If you're always hanging out with your healthcare besties for brunch, but you're trying to break into cybersecurity, take one weekend from that crowd and give it to a new crew who's in the other industry. Create new systems around new goals and stick to them.
4. Get more active on social to showcase the new (or future-loading) you.
If you think constantly posting on social is cringe, you might want to forget the shame, apprehension, or snobbery, slap the dust off those LinkedIn, Facebook, or Instagram profiles, and showcase the new you on those platforms (or at least who you're shifting to be).
Personal branding isn't just for influencers. Create a content calendar, start posting at least once per week (as a way to, again, build a new habit of consistency and discipline), and simply showcase the new you. Think of it as a fun project just for your own enjoyment and personal satisfaction.
Take new photos for your personal website, your social media banners, and profile photos. And you don't necessarily need to do a full-on shoot for this. Maybe there are photos you've already taken that better reflect the new vibes you want out there, or simply set up an affordable tripod with your phone, go somewhere local with good daylight (i.e., your home office, living room, veranda, or apartment complex's lobby---all places I've taken great photos for websites) and get to snapping.
If you've been put in a box in terms of the expertise or skills you're known for, post useful information, blogs, videos, or other content that showcases new knowledge or areas of interest. Update your photos, share the latest news, watch the analytics, and find out how you can collaborate with others in the industry you're looking to break into.
If your reinvention includes more public speaking opportunities, research appointments, or a promotion in your current industry, showcase yourself like that powerhouse executive with real knowledge and talent and offer your unique way of breaking down processes, problem-solving, and everyday issues professionals face. Follow the people you admire who have actually done what you want to do (or similar) or who spark inspiration, self-discovery, and empowerment for you.
5. Do at least one thing that makes you afraid or is out of your comfort zone but is a big part of bringing the future new you to life.
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Known as the always responsible marketing manager but want to totally transition out to get into stand-up comedy? Hit up that Open Mike Night Amateur Talent Show, or audition once a week, even if you could face boos or rejection. Get a coach or agent. Join an acting class or improv group. Start doing social media videos or hosting small events of your own.
Need something to help you stand out and boost your confidence when you're trying to land clients? Ditch that long dark center-part lace front, and try a chic auburn bob. Change that makeup routine you've been doing for the past few years and start wearing other brands and colors.
Want to work on boosting your self-confidence while gaining a new skill? Start an outdoor running challenge, learn a new sport by joining a local team, or take lessons on how to play an instrument. The completion of the course or that 10th practice session alone will be exactly what you need to be bolder in other aspects of your career reinvention journey.
Track your progress either via a video diary (that you can keep private), photos, or journaling. This helps you to be able to review what has worked and what hasn't, and it can help you avoid repeating cycles that won't allow for reinvention.
If you find yourself super-challenged doing these things consistently, make that virtual (or in-person) appointment with a coach or therapist because there might be a need for self-exploration and mental wellness assistance before fully pursuing the reinvention plan, and that's absolutely okay.
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Your Guide To Letting Go Of What No Longer Serves You Based On Astrology
Letting go is a gift we are given and a strength that we find throughout our lives. There are times when we want to grab ahold of what we are experiencing and sensing, and times when we need to let go of something that was once everything to us or what we wanted for ourselves. The moment you conclude that you need to let something go in your life is the moment that your brain fights to make that happen for you.
In Astrology, there is an area of your birth chart that is designed for you to understand where you will be letting go a lot in this lifetime, and exactly how to do so. We dive through the birth chart as we seek a deeper understanding of ourselves and let go of what no longer serves us, and there are tools available to help us do so. If you don't know where your South Node is in your birth chart, you can use a free calculator like this one here.
What Does Your South Node Represent in Astrology?
When it comes to what we are destined to let go of or move away from in this lifetime, we look to the South Node. The South Node is the area of your birth chart that has to do with your past lives, karma, lessons, old habits and traits, gifts, and energy you are moving away from in this lifetime.
Your South Node is opposite your North Node, which is your destiny and the energy you want to move towards.
We can learn a lot from our South Node and it’s an area of our life where we tend to gain the most wisdom. By understanding why some patterns in your life tend to play out in the same ways, you can be more conscious of the choices you make in the now and let go of who and what doesn’t serve you in the process.
South Node Insights: Letting Go
The South Node is our natural gifts and talents, but also where we don’t need to focus so much of our energy on, taking us away from where we need to be developing, which is the North Node. So when you are looking to let go of something, gain a new perspective, or feel more trusting in what you are doing right now, you can examine your South Node.
We learn from our South Node by not making the same mistakes over again, letting go of what needs to be let go of, and understanding what we need in order to create space for our new beginning.
Read below for your South Node on how to let go of what no longer serves you.
Aries South Node: Letting Go of Independence for Connection
You are used to being independent and figuring things out on your own. In this lifetime, however, you are being asked to lean on others for support when you need it. You are working on letting go of the ego and focusing more on the heart. By extending your compassion for others, you discover a part of yourself that leads you toward empowerment and allows you to let go of a false sense of safety.
You are meant to experience harmonious, fortunate, and compatible love in this lifetime, and you will do so by opening your heart to others and letting go of people who don’t support you or whom you can’t count on.
Taurus South Node: Releasing Overdependence and Superficiality
With your South Node in Taurus, you are letting go of the need to acquire by focusing on the depth and intention of what you are obtaining. Your relationships tend to have a lot to do with your financial world, and these things can get twisted and distorted if you are not being careful.
In this lifetime, you are working on letting go of what doesn’t serve you by following your heart and your intuition more and focusing more on the feeling you want for yourself rather than the things themselves. You are also working on letting go of overdependence or superficiality in relationships, by connecting with the people whom you have a deep and spiritual bond with.
Gemini South Node: Finding Freedom in Authenticity
For you, letting go means following your freedom. You are meant to do things your own way in this lifetime, and the less you can focus on how you are going to be perceived, the more you can live the life of your dreams. With a South Node in Gemini, you are moving away from the commotion of life. What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is traveling, getting out of your comfort zone, and being in new environments.
In past lives, you may have given too much of your focus on your social successes and business pursuits, and in this lifetime, you are meant to focus on the bigger picture. What helps you let go is understanding that once you do, better is available to you.
Cancer South Node: Trusting Yourself Beyond Emotional Impulses
With a South Node in Cancer, you are learning to trust yourself and your logic more than your emotional world in this lifetime. By letting go of feeling like you have to be the one to nurture and support everyone and allowing people to do that for you, you lead your destiny.
With your South Node in Cancer, you are letting go of emotional impulsiveness or making decisions irrationally before you have thought about them.
In past lives, you were led by your emotional world, and in this lifetime, you are meant to think more about your long-term goals and intentions. What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is knowing that you are more than what you can give to others.
Leo South Node: Prioritizing Community Over Recognition
In this lifetime, you are working on letting go of the need to be seen and recognized and focus more on your need for community and soul companionship. You are moving away from the “I” and moving closer to the “We.” What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is giving your focus to humanity, the progress you want to make in this lifetime, and who you want to make it with.
You are learning how to work with others and let go of the need to figure everything out yourself. The more you connect with the people who make you want to team up and form a relationship, rather than the people who make you want to be alone, the better for you.
Virgo South Node: Embracing Compassion Over Perfection
In this lifetime, you are letting go of the need to do everything yourself and to have everything all together. You can let go of what no longer serves you by thinking more with your heart than you do with your mind and by trusting this gift of yours. By focusing more on your spirituality, emotional connections, and creativity, you let go of a timid side of you that can disrupt your relationships or the bonds you make.
In past lifetimes, you were focused on perfection. In this lifetime, you are meant to focus on compassion. By surrendering more to the flow of things, you can let go of what no longer serves you while remaining open for what does.
Libra South Node: Rediscovering Your Independence
With your South Node in Libra, you are meant to experience the gifts of independence, freedom, and inner clarity in this lifetime. In the past, you may have been more dependent on the people around you and made a lot of your focus on love. However, in this lifetime, you are being reminded to not lose your identity in others. You can let go of what no longer serves you by only moving towards the things that feel authentic to you.
You are meant to feel confident, inspired, and free in your relationships, and if you don’t feel this way, then that is a sign you are around energy that doesn’t serve you. You are meant to do things your own way in this lifetime.
Scorpio South Node: Letting Go of Struggles and Embracing Ease
With your South Node in Scorpio, you have lived many lives and have experienced a lot emotionally. In this lifetime, you are learning how to trust the process more and to understand that not everything has to be difficult or trying for you. You can experience great things with ease, and you’ll know you are in the right place when things are just falling into your lap.
What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is focusing more on the things and people who make you feel safe, stable, and comfortable. Instead of always seeking the rush or the thrill, bring your attention more towards the things that ground you.
Sagittarius South Node: Building Connection Through Learning
Your South Node in Sagittarius urges you towards connection with your community and your immediate environment. In this lifetime, you are letting go of the need to be everywhere at once, rather than with the people who matter most to you. You are moving away from knowing everything and into learning everything.
By looking at life as a place where you will learn, grow, and connect, you can let go of the things that stretch you too thin or don’t serve your heart.
What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is expressing yourself more, meeting new people, and spending time on a cause or creative project that inspires you.
Capricorn South Node: Choosing Home and Foundations Over Status
In this lifetime, you are meant to put more value and effort into your personal life, home, family, and foundations in life. In past lifetimes, a lot of your focus was on your reputation, achievements, and successes, and in this lifetime, you are meant to bring your energy more to the home base, family, and stability in life.
You will know if something is right for you if you want it because it makes you feel safe and nurtured, rather than just something that looks pleasing to the eye. What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is by focusing more on your personal life rather than your public, and what you truly see for yourself here.
Aquarius South Node: Shining in Your Individuality
With an Aquarius South Node, you are meant to shine, be seen, and express yourself in this lifetime. You are letting go of the lone wolf energy you are used to, and working on taking up space. You are able to let go of what no longer serves you by being confident in yourself and the decisions you are making.
If someone doesn’t make you feel like the best thing in the entire world, then they aren’t right for you. In past lifetimes, you gave a lot of your energy to your community and the people around you, and in this lifetime, you are meant to focus on yourself and your path more. It’s all about doing what makes you feel good and trusting that you deserve to.
Pisces South Node: Honoring Logic While Embracing Intuition
Your lesson in this lifetime is that your mind is your gift. In past lives, you were very intuitive, psychic, and spiritual, and in this lifetime, you are learning to trust and honor the logical part of yourself more. You may tend to put your all into your relationships and not get the same energy back, and you are working on taking care of yourself first before you can give to another.
What helps you let go of what no longer serves you is trusting your body and the signals it gives you when you are around certain people or energy that doesn’t serve. Get organized, figure out your needs, boundaries, and wants, and get clear on who you are and what you want for yourself.
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Sheryl Lee Ralph On Why Living Separately From Her Husband Of 19 Years Works For Them
Sheryl Lee Ralph has always unapologetically been herself, and her approach to marriage is no exception to that rule.
In a recent PEOPLE cover story with Janine Rubenstein, the Abbott Elementarystar opened up about the unconventional marriage she and her husband, Vincent Hughes, have embraced since tying the knot in 2005: living separately. Vincent, a Democratic member of the Pennsylvania State Senate, resides in Philadelphia, while Sheryl's thriving career keeps her in Los Angeles as her home base.
“We also live in separate places,” Sheryl revealed to the publication. “When I go to see him, love to see him. When it’s time to leave, ‘Bye-bye. See you soon!’ I’m telling you, life is good. Perfect. I get to be the real good wife!”
Their unconventional setup allows them both to thrive in their respective careers while maintaining a strong union. “He has his own life. I have my own life,” she explained. “He has his own real career, I have my own real career. He has his light to stand in, I have my light to stand in. He’s not looking at me thinking about status or this or that. He’s doing his thing. I get to do my thing.”
Sheryl, who has two children from her previous marriage to Eric Maurice, shared that their decision to live separately stemmed from practical considerations. “You fall in love with somebody and you realize, he’s not leaving his career. He is not leaving Philadelphia. I’m not leaving Hollywood. And when you have children, you can’t just pick up your children and move across country,” she told PEOPLE.
She added, “So it just worked out that I was in California, he was in Philadelphia, and every two weeks we saw each other, and it worked out well, and it has continued to work out well. We will celebrate 20 years of marriage, thank you, and some people can’t even get through two. So, it’s all good.”
This isn’t the first time Sheryl has made it known that their marriage is nothing but solid. In 2023, xoNecole covered the actress set the record straight that she and her husband had moved in together full-time after nearly 18 years of a long-distance marriage. Speaking exclusively to E! News, Sheryl clarified, “It’s not true at all. If you’re going to write things, just try to get it close to right. We’ve been married 18 years and together 21 years.”
She further elaborated on their dynamic: “We live together on and off, in that I’m shooting Abbott Elementary in L.A. He is at the Capitol every week, so we see each other in between.”
While Sheryl's marriage continues to thrive, her career has also seen quite the "renaissance" thanks to the success of Abbott Elementary. “I’m in a show that is literally lightning in a bottle,” the Emmy winner shared with PEOPLE. “But it was not given to me. I worked towards this moment, and it took a young person to see and value the work and offer me this way forward. That doesn’t happen a lot, but it happened to me.”
Reflecting on the remarkable highs of her career journey, Sheryl recalled a moment foreshadowing what was to come from the late Cicely Tyson. “One day I was on a plane, and Cicely Tyson said, ‘Many great things are going to happen to you. Many, many, many,’” she said. “The elders have been good to me, and they would not be surprised.”
Just as Sheryl's career has flourished by her staying true to herself, her marriage has also reaped the benefits of doing what works best for them. The couple will celebrate 20 years of marriage this July. And for them, living apart reflects their ability to honor their individuality and personal ambitions while growing together.
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