Let's face it: Stress in the workplace is inevitable and unavoidable. Whether it's due to the nature of the job, your work environment, the people you work with, or the at-home issues that trickle into the office, we've all had to deal with it one way or another. As women, we even take on additional stresseson top of the usual, and if we're not careful, too much stress (and bad habits of suppression or coping) can negatively affect our livelihood, our health, and our sanity.
We're sure you know the dangers of stress, so we won't get into the research today, but sis, we're in the last three months of the year. It's time to go ahead and nip those stress-inducing habits in the bud and tell nagging annoyances where to go. Here's a quick and smart guide on how to reduce stress at work, one step at a time:
1. Add a fun, active exercise to your workday routine.
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Even if your job requires lots of physical movement already, the keyword here is fun. Medical experts always recommend exercise and movement as a stress reliever, and doing something active can indeed increase endorphines and boost you mood. Take things up a notch by bringing a bike, skates, mini trampoline (yes, sis, it's a whole thing), a mini boxing bag, or a jump rope to use during a break.
You don't have to break a sweat, and you certainly don't have to use your whole lunch hour to play, but getting in at least 15 minutes can mean the difference between zen and a disciplinary warning for reading that annoying, narcissistic coworker for the fifth time. This can especially be doable if you work from home or have flex hours. No excuses, friend.
2. Utilize technology to automate, get organized, and save time.
We're fans of working smart, not hard around here. And if you can't put together a good Excel sheet, automate many tedious tasks (like often-used email responses, out-of-office notices, to-do lists, presentations, data projections, even food delivery and self-care appointments), get help. (Literally. Hire a Task Rabbit, ask an intern, invest in platforms like Calendly or take a course. Trust us. It will save your life.)
Research by analytics company Verint shows that 72 percent of people who have "low stress" said they have access to tech that allows them to "work productively" and 64 percent believe that automation "helps reduce workload and stress." So let's stop hand-typing, manually calculating, and doing other monotonous things in real time, and save our amazing brain cells for larger, more complicated tasks.
3. Make prayer or meditation a deliberate part of your day.
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This practice doesn't have to be limited to your home, bedtime routine, emergency response, or that one day you choose to dedicate to self-care. Beyond the spiritual and mental benefits of doing this daily at work, let's get into the science: They have found that prayer and meditation can be "calming," increase your focus, and up those feelings of "emotional support."
You can choose to do it in your car, in a workplace breakroom, or via a 30-minute class or mid-day service, or you can simply breathe a prayer or several affirmations at your desk. Just be sure to deliberately slide this in to break up the chaos that might be going on around you.
4. Carpool, get a ride, or take public transportation.
Again, we see that side-eye, sis. Pick up your lip and hear us out. Beyond the environmental and monetary savings, letting someone else take over the driving during your morning and evening commutes (or for going to mid-day meetings and participating in work-related activities outside the office) has its perks. If you're not into the idea of taking a bus or train right now (totally understandable), treat yourself at least once per month to an Uber or Lyft ride, or find a trusted coworker, family member, or friend, and alternate days to drive. The less time personally dealing with road-raged lunatics, non-driving bumper-riders, and cray-cray congestion, the better.
5. Partner up, get a coach, or delegate.
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Sometimes stress can be connected to taking a do-it-all approach to everything. Here's where a partner comes in. Find ways to either delegate tasks or partner with someone to take on half the load. Advocate for yourself by engaging with others and finding out strengths and skills that can be exchanged or bartered. If that's not an option, utilize the resources provided by your HR department, talk with a mentor about ways to cope with the stresses of major experiences like a work deadline or staff change, or tap a coach or therapist to help you pinpoint workplace stress triggers and ways to reduce, rebound or eliminate them.
Not all stress is connected to negative experiences, and even doing a job you love or working at the company of your dreams involves an element of stress. You're closing deals, managing staff, getting promoted, or taking on new responsibilities, so be sure to take a cue from at least one of these steps and arm yourself to come out on top.
For more job search tips, career advice and profiles, check out the xoNecole Workin Girl section here.
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Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak