

Well damn. Who would've thought that the topic of shower sex would be so complex? On one hand, while some reports indicate that over 70 percent of men want to engage in shower sex, I also noticed that 80 percent of non-sport related injuries are usually due to something that has to do with sexual activity—the kind that oftentimes happens in the shower. When I asked some people who I personally know to share their thoughts on the topic, many women told me that the idea of shower sex turns them on; however, whenever they've tried it, things seemed more crowded and awkward than anything else.
While I definitely roll my eyes whenever I see a sex in the shower scene in a movie or on television, it's not because I think that great shower sex is impossible; it's because I think the way that it's usually presented is mad unrealistic (that goes for most sex scenes, to tell you the truth). For starters, there is some intentional pre-shower sex shopping that needs to be done. Secondly, shower sex isn't really meant to be spontaneous. You need to plan out what's gonna go down on the front end. If you do that by taking the 12 tips that I've got for you today into account, you very well could be on the way to discovering how to make shower sex better.
1. Get a LED Showerhead
When it comes to the biggest mistakes people make when trying to have better shower sex, I'd have to say that not having the right kind of showerhead absolutely tops the list. First of all, you need one that is adjustable because those are the kind where you can play around with the water pressure and, you can position the head to spray, pretty much anywhere that you want it to. This makes it easy to switch around due to height or to apply the pressure to certain spots (if you know what I mean).
Also, make sure that your showerhead comes with LED lighting. That way, the water can appear to be all kinds of colors while you're in there doing your thing. It's your own light show that can be exciting and sexy. For some of the best adjustable showerheads, click here. For some of the best LED showerheads, click here.
2. Buy a New Shower Mat
Whenever I try and get couples to consider shower sex, one of the main things they bring up is being afraid of slipping around everywhere in the process. I totally get that. That's why it's so important that you have a firm shower mat on the bottom of your tub. In my opinion, you might want to go with one that is designed specifically for seniors because it will definitely have a solid non-slip factor to it.
A good example of what I'm talking about is OTHWAY Non-Slip Bathtub Mat Soft Rubber Bathroom Bathmat with Strong Suction Cups. You can check it out for yourself here.
3. Cop Yourself Some Suction Handles
While we're on the topic of making shower sex safer, something else that you might wanna cop are some suction handles. They are portable cups or rails that grip pretty darn well on flat or non-porous walls in your bathroom. This makes it easier to maintain your "position" because you'll have something (else) to hold on to. The main thing to keep in mind with these is they aren't permanent fixtures. This means that, after a week or so, you will probably have to "re-stick" them.
Also, don't rely on them to hold up the entire weight of you or your partner; they simply exist for assistance's sake. Again, places that specifically make things for seniors are probably the best starting point for selecting the best suction handles. My two cents are that you begin here.
4. Add Some Silicone Lube
As far as what to buy, I've got two more things to add to the list. First is some lubricant. While that might seem crazy to say, considering you are in so much water 'n all, the reality is that water is not a good lubricant.
Matter of fact, just using water alone can make sex more uncomfortable because it has a tendency to wash away your natural lubrication. While a water-based lubricant is OK, when you're already in a ton of water, it's best to go with one that contains silicone. They are definitely great at making everything "more slippery".
Also, they won't damage latex condoms like oil-based lubes can definitely do. As a bonus, many of them are free of glycols and glycerin—two things that have the potential for causing irritation in the genitalia region. Some of the best lubes on the market this year can be found right here.
5. Try Some Edible Shower Gel
One more purchase. Another reason why shower sex is sometimes not as hot as folks initially envisioned is because they're honestly trying to do the absolute most up in there. Most of us don't have a large enough shower to sit in (at least, not that two people can sit in), so we're working with limited space. That's why I don't recommend that you and your boo thang decide to wash up and have sex, at the same time, in there (more on that in a bit).
That said, when it comes to this particular recommendation, I'm all about going with some edible shower gel. If you're not looking to "get clean" so much as you're striving to get dirty, go with something that you can lather-and-lick with. After doing a bit of digging around, it seems that Shunga is a pretty popular brand. If you want to buy a bottle or two of their edible exotic fruit shower gel, you can get some of it here.
6. Bring Some Music In
One more "prop" that I think is an absolute must is music. You can turn up your entertainment system, bring in your phone or invest in a Bluetooth showerhead. Sometimes shower sex doesn't seem all that sexy because, I mean, sex is happening in the bathroom. But if you set the scene with some of your favorite sexy music (and also a few rose petals on the floor of your bathtub and perhaps even some aromatherapy), it can transition the space into something more erotic and less, well, functional.
7. Clean Up First. Here’s Why.
OK, I'm hoping that it's a given that the bathroom needs to be cleaned up before trying to have sex up in there because I can't think of anything more off-putting than a nasty ass bathroom space. For this tip, what I mean is you might want to actually wash up before coitus.
Like I said a sec ago, trying to multitask by having two people in that little bit of space to wash up and then have sex is not only potentially exhausting, it can end up getting you so frustrated that you find yourself saying, "Forget it." Both of you having a seven-minute shower alone and then hopping into together can relieve some of the stress of shower sex. That way, you can just focus on having a lot of fun instead.
8. Engage in Foreplay. Beforehand.
I've shared, numerous times, in articles about sex (specifically orgasms) on this platform that while it pretty much only takes a man around five minutes to climax, it can take us somewhere around 20. That's because we oftentimes need more foreplay in order to get fully aroused. Hey, if you want to spend the time of a sitcom in the shower, have at it. I ain't mad at you.
I just wanna plant a seed and say that you probably have a better chance of fully enjoying the experience if you engage in some foreplay before getting into the tub. Like oral sex, for example? While it might look sexy in the movies to see it happen in the shower, between all of the water and then the crammed space, it actually may prove to be more "profitable" if you do a lot of that first, outside of the bathroom. Feel me?
9. Get into the “Right” Position(s)
Let's get real. Not all sex positions are created for the shower. To be honest with you, if you're not, at least a little bit flexible, this could also cause shower sex to get on your nerves because you need to be able to at least bend down and touch your feet. Right?
Standing up and wrapping a leg around your partner and/or doing a modified version of doggy style (by bending your waist halfway without actually kneeling down) are pretty comfortable positions that can definitely help you to get the job done. Oh, and if your partner is strong enough to hold you up—even better.
10. Make the Water Make Sense
Some folks mess up because they actually make moves that result in the water that's coming from their showerhead to be more of a nuisance more than anything else. Back to oral. I'm not sure why giving oral sex would be the jam for us unless we absolutely don't care about getting our hair drenched—even then, all of that water pouring down from the showerhead can make it hard to breathe.
On the other hand, the adjustable showerhead that you (now) have? While you're in that modified doggy position, you can always use it to stimulate your clitoris at the same time. And chile…CHILE.
Also, some people just hop in there without testing the water temperature to make sure that it's suitable for both individuals. That's why you and yours running your hand underneath the showerhead beforehand is a good idea too. Bottom line, water is your friend. Just make sure to apply it in a way that makes sensual sense.
11. Stay Present
This particular point about shower sex applies to sex, in general. If you go in with the goal of accomplishing something specific, you could end up getting either disappointed or, quite frankly, pissed off. Yes, a few mind-blowing orgasms would be absolutely awesome yet even if that doesn't happen, how about relishing in the fact that you got to spend some quality time with your partner and create some new memories?
If the focus is about just staying in the moment, enjoying each other and seeing where the next moment will take you, I'm pretty confident that you will have a good time—even if it doesn't totally end up being like the shower sex that you've seen on the tube or big screen.
12. Extend It to the Bedroom Afterwards
And finally, no one said that you had to "finish" in the shower. Sometimes, like courses of a meal, sex needs to be taken in, in stages. Foreplay before the shower, some intercourse in the shower, orgasms after the shower. If it's in this order, it still sounds like a really good time to me. How about you?
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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How Your Rising Sign Is The Key To Unlocking More Financial Abundance In Your Life
Abundance is a mindset and it's one you can obtain more effortlessly by knowing your birth chart. Your birth chart in Astrology reflects your cosmic blueprint for this lifetime and maps out things for you like your purpose, destiny, and financial potential. There are key ways to earn income or increase your finances and Astrology helps you dive into that. By knowing your financial strengths, weaknesses, and gifts, you can enhance the abundance surrounding you and align yourself more with what resonates.
In Astrology, there are a few areas of your birth chart that signify what your financial world looks like and have the potential to look at as well. Your 2nd house, rules your finances, personal income, and values, your 8th house rules your shared finances and the money you receive from partnerships or through marriage, and your 11th house rules your hopes and dreams, manifestations, and what you have accumulated through your career or business. The sign Venus also represents finances and luxury, and the placement of this planet is key to understanding your financial purpose as well.
We each come into this life with specific skill sets and perspectives that have the potential to help us live the life of our dreams and fulfill our intentions. By understanding where you tend to naturally thrive in life, you open the door to financial freedom and empowerment. What the stars say about your financial potential is the inspiration you need to walk through that door.
Read for your rising sign below to see how to unlock your key to abundance.
How Your Rising Sign Unlocks Abundance
ARIES RISING
Your key to unlocking abundance involves creating concrete, long-term, financial plans. With Taurus in the 2nd house, you have a natural gift for money and you know how to build something from the ground up. You create beauty, love, and stability in the world, and your ability to make people feel comfortable will help you financially succeed. Taurus in the 2nd house are collectors as well, and you have a good eye.
With Scorpio in your 8th house, the partnerships and connections you form help you increase your income and earnings. It’s not about overly relying on others financially, but knowing there is support there for you when you need it. Your financial potential overall involves how much you are dedicating yourself to your dreams and doing things that will provide stability and security in your life.
TAURUS RISING
As a Taurus Rising, you have Gemini in the 2nd house, and there are a lot of different avenues in which you can earn an income. You will most likely have multiple streams of income in fact, and your capacity to learn, grow, and expand financially is endless.
You thrive in communication, publication, and collaborative worlds, and your networking abilities will help you succeed in life.
By educating yourself and expanding your mind, you can use this knowledge to help you connect, sell, and raise awareness to others. With Pisces in the 11th house, you have lucky Jupiter helping you make your dreams come true and creating miracles in your life. No one sees things the way you do, use this to your advantage when it comes to your finances and goals here.
GEMINI RISING
For you, you are more emotionally tied to your finances and sense of stability than most. With Cancer in your 2nd house, you have a strong intuition regarding money matters, but you may also feel like things fluctuate a lot for you here. Your key to unlocking your personal abundance comes by finding the things that you hold value in, thinking about your purpose and the legacy you want to leave behind, and owning your nurturing abilities.
You are a natural caregiver, creator, and protector, and can thrive in roles such as these. Cancer in the 2nd house also shows an ability to earn through real estate, antiques, or investments. With Capricorn in the 8th house, your logic will help you execute your plans and goals, and you are always thinking one step ahead. People may underestimate you often, use this to your advantage.
CANCER RISING
As a Cancer Rising, you thrive when you are able to take charge and lead your creative efforts. With Leo in the 2nd house, you are a charismatic soul and you are meant to take center stage in life. Your creativity, confidence, and courage will set you apart from others, and you will financially succeed in roles where you have some type of authority or can express yourself freely.
With Aquarius in the 8th house, you may also find your financial power when it comes to technology or social media. You are a natural influencer and people want to know what you think about things and what your current obsessions are. You are the star of the show, remembering that is your key to unlocking your abundance in this lifetime.
LEO RISING
You have Virgo in the 2nd house, and unlocking your key to abundance involves getting organized, sticking to a routine, and doing things that benefit others or society in some way. You are typically found in roles that involve being of service and you also have a gift with your words. Careers such as writing, speaking, publishing, health roles, and healing treatments all serve you well.
With Gemini in the 11th house as well, you have a gift for networking, communication, building a group or a team, and succeeding in your collaborative efforts. Don’t let your need for perfection take you away from your potential regarding your ability to connect with others and build something inspiring. Your vision, partnerships, selfless attitude, and creativity will help you financially succeed.
VIRGO RISING
As a Virgo Rising, you are a hard worker and have a lot of beauty and wisdom to share with the world. You have Libra in the 2nd house, signifying a creative soul and someone who can earn an income through art, interior design, fashion, or therapeutic and beauty practices.
You have a gift when it comes to creating things appealing to the eye, and you resonate with the more luxurious spheres of life.
Aries in the 8th house signifies a drive to succeed, and you financially move through a lot of transformations in this lifetime that lead you closer to your dreams. Creating a business that you are passionate about or being a part of a legacy that creates something beautiful for the world, helps you financially succeed in life.
LIBRA RISING
Financially, you evolve over time. The key here for you with Scorpio in the 2nd house, is to trust your intuition when it comes to what to invest in and what to spend your time and energy on. Know that with any setback you may encounter financially, you will rise above more abundantly and successfully. You have a unique way of understanding the undercurrents and concept of money, use this to your advantage.
With Leo in the 11th house, you succeed when you are confident, standing out from the crowd, and doing things that feel authentic and natural for you. You are meant to shine and inspire others through your charisma, personality, and strong intuition.
SCORPIO RISING
With a Scorpio Rising, you have Sagittarius in the 2nd, and financial freedom is very important to you in this lifetime. You are working towards building a legacy for yourself through your wisdom, knowledge, and quest for understanding. You inspire others in your own unique way, and this is a placement for many teachers or guides in this world.
Virgo in the 11th house reminds you to get clear on the things you want for yourself and the plans or dedication it will take to get there. Your intelligence and your capacity to see all perspectives and express yourself in a grounded way is what is going to unlock your key to abundance.
SAGITTARIUS RISING
Financially, you have a lot of potential to succeed in this lifetime. With Capricorn in your 2nd house of income, you are business-savvy and have a knack for money. You know what the world needs more of, and you are the one to provide it. Through your work ethic and need to succeed, you are someone who can be found in higher positions within a business or company.
Cancer in the 8th house also shows that you find financial empowerment by dedicating yourself to a cause or career that holds deep importance for you and your heart. The people you meet along the way are also key to recognizing your dreams and financial abundance.
CAPRICORN RISING
As a Capricorn Rising, you have Aquarius in the 2nd house which shows a gift in community, networking, and social media. You are a trendsetter and are ahead of time when it comes to trends, fashion, and ideals. You have a unique vision and ability to succeed in this lifetime through your manifestation potential.
With Scorpio in the 11th house, you can build a team or an organization and lead yourself and others to success. Your acquaintances and friendships throughout life will help you meet the right people and get the right opportunities. You always need to be thinking big when it comes to your finances, and know that you have what it takes to succeed.
AQUARIUS RISING
For you, financial success comes from your imagination and your hope for it all. With Pisces in the 2nd house, you view your financial world through a spiritual and creative lens, and the opportunities for you in this lifetime are vast. You need a lot of freedom within your career and you need to be doing things that allow you to express your creativity.
With Sagittarius in the 11th house of your hopes and dreams, you will succeed when you are stepping out of your comfort zone, traveling, and exploring new things. Your knowledge combined with lucky Jupiter, makes you someone who is more lucky than most when it comes to making your financial dreams come true. Remain positive and know your path to abundance won’t look like everyone else's.
PISCES RISING
You have Aries in the 2nd house, and financially you feel empowered when you are going after your individual dreams and intentions and are in leadership roles. Entrepreneurship inspires you, and you know how to lead a team. Taking initiative when it comes to your financial world is key here, and you need a certain sense of freedom when it comes to your career and working life.
Libra in the 8th house signifies abundance through your love life, marriage, business partnerships, or commitments and people are more willing to lend you a helping hand than most, use this to your advantage. Overall, your key to abundance is taking initiative, creating things never seen before, and using your charming personality to attract the support you need to succeed.
Love is cute and all, but building an empire together? That’s the real flex. Tap into our new series Making Cents to see what financial compatibility really looks like when love and legacy go hand in hand.
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Featured image by Igor Alecsander/Getty Images
Originally published on February 6, 2025