You never know when your "one moment" will be. That moment when a door of opportunity for your life and career opens in ways you could have never planned or imagined. Sometimes that moment comes right when you're about to give up. For celebrity manicurist Seanette, Nettie Davis, that moment came after a last-minute decision to not give up on her hustle.
Nettie had been working in a Santa Monica salon, barely getting by and struggling to convince clients to pay for a luxury nail experience although they were spending hundreds to get their hair done. However, one of the women she successfully pitched to turned out to be the mother of an agent at The Wall Group - a powerhouse for creative talent in the entertainment industry. She raved to her daughter about Nettie's work. A month later, Nettie received the call -- the door-opener. She would eventually sign with The Wall Group, initiating the start of a thriving career as a nail artist in the bustling Hollywood entertainment industry.
For the past ten years, Nettie has been on-call, catering to a bevy of celeb clients including Tessa Thompson, Kiki Layne, Halle Berry, Gabrielle Union, Letitia Wright, Issa Rae, Janelle Monae, among others.
Passionate yet humble, Nettie will quickly tell you that she's blessed to "have a job that doesn't feel like work." Though her days are sometimes hectic and unpredictable, it's what keeps her energized. Couple that with her ability to draw from creative inspirations and craft visually stunning nail art, she's quietly cemented a name for herself in a world that isn't always easy to navigate. In 2018, she launched Pottle, a one-of-a-kind container. The cleverly named Pottle, which Nettie describes as a "mix between a pot and a bottle" is geared to beauty professionals who need a reliable way to mix and store ingredients on the go.
Nettie spoke to xoNecole about her career evolution, tips for others interested in the industry, lessons learned as a product entrepreneur, what inspires her about her work and more.
What was your journey into the nail industry like?
Courtesy of Nettie Nails
I've been doing nails since I was twelve. When I moved out to Los Angeles from Houston, I wanted to be a costume designer. I did that for a while, but I was 100 pounds overweight, so it was a pretty hard job. When I got injured during pilot season on my third year, my mom told me to use my nail license that I had in California and start doing nails again. I didn't think it was a lucrative career decision. While I was on bedrest, I met some girls like Rihanna's manicurist, who were doing home spa parties. They started telling me how amazing their paychecks were doing nails for the industry. I called my friends who worked on set and told them I might be venturing into something different and if they needed a nail person for film to call me. They told me they'd keep their ear to the ground. It didn't pan out as fast as I wanted to. I started working in a salon, doing home spas and making body scrubs.
How were you marketing your brand in the early days?
I didn't even know what the [celebrity world] was. I was still hung up on, "When am I going to get back to my fashion career?" I let it take me where it took me since God really did open this door and I had asked Him to open this door. So, I walked through it. The Wall Group started calling me for all of these magazines and commercials. It [evolved into] call Nette Davis, the celebrity manicurist, instead of "call that girl to come to my house." When Instagram came out, I asked if I had to do this. Everyone was like, yes. I kept my website up-to-date but other than that, I was running around doing nails. It wasn't like, 'Oh, I'm going to brand myself.'
"I let it take me where it took me since God really did open this door and I had asked Him to open this door. So, I walked through it."
I was feeling a little stagnant in the celebrity world. You don't get to have fun unless you're working with a musical artist. Actresses, because they do so many jobs and have so many different shoots and opportunities, usually want nude, short nails. The trend of nail art was coming and I wasn't staying afloat and relevant. I really wanted to do that. To [practice and differentiate myself], I started doing nails for my friends. [Nail art] is slowly being filtered into mainstream media now. But, back in the day, it wasn't. When I do Sephora ads now, they always want nail art. That wasn't heard of seven years ago.
What are the key things you need to know in order to make it as a professional celebrity nail artist?
Know yourself and what it takes to get through a certain job. Know your strengths, weaknesses, and temperament. That is something that is going to be magnified when you start working with celebrities. I'm not a patient person but I know I have to channel my inner mom when I work with certain needy people in the industry. It's not always so cut and dry. Be excited and willing to have fun with everything -- even with the crazy mistakes. Practice makes perfect.
How do you navigate getting the most out of working with an agency?
If an agency has more than one manicurist, you're not number one. You're "one of." You have to be your own number one. Agent or no agent, you have to get out there and grind. Keep good relationships with people on set. You're still making a name for yourself. It should be your job to outshine the agency. If you're doing your job right, when [a client] calls, they are asking for you.
What inspired you to launch Pottle?
Halle Berry was doing a show called Extant. They wrote this storyline into the show where she didn't know she was an alien and her nails would grow every time she would grow. After that show, she kept asking what was a better alternative than acrylic. I said gel might be better. For my kit, it's always best to have bottles than pots because pots always leak and I need things to stay upright in my kit. Because she has an active lifestyle, I probably spent over $500 buying new gel products because certain formulas didn't work. I finally found some Russian gel that I loved because it was a pot, but it wasn't going to be all over my kit. I wanted to put it in a bottle and keep it moving but I couldn't do that easily. It was a very slow and strenuous process.
What came next?
I started getting ideas. I played around with the idea, put it on paper and drew it out. I got a provisional patent just to see if I really wanted to do it. I taught myself computer-aided design and sent those files to the right manufacturer. I made my own prototype on my 3D printer. I got molds made. I started using what I made myself and saw that it really worked. I thought, "If I have this problem, other people have this problem."
What was the hardest part about getting Pottle from idea to final product?
You'll never get someone else to that place where they are respecting your product and the manufacturing of your product the way you do. I talk to manufacturers in China every morning [about my product.] We go back and forth. If you want me to come back to your factory, you need to respect your own work. You send me samples and they look great. When I receive the product, they should look like the sample. Product managers, which hopefully I'll be able to afford soon, are important. You need one person to stay on top of your manufacturing.
It's a lot of time and time is money. Sometimes I get jobs in the middle of the day and haven't slept. I try to keep myself hydrated. The hardest part is trying to stay balanced.
How do you think Pottle will affect the nail industry?
It's really going to afford people a lot of freedom. I'm not just selling to manicurists. I'm selling to anyone who wants to mix any type of beauty material inside. It could be makeup or glue...whatever it is, I want you to be able to do that with the Pottle. It's a great product because you're reusing it until it falls apart. Hopefully this will be a game-changer and cause companies to make things in bulk containers instead of small bottles.
If someone is launching a nail business, what’s something to keep in mind?
Courtesy of Nettie Nails
Being versatile is very important. I've talked to people who I've tried to pull out of shops. With the explosion of entrepreneurship, people are traveling more and finding other ways to do things. You're going to have to travel. People are lazier and also have more money. If you do set up a shop, make sure you have a mobile division or flexible private nail techs available. You may also need a side hustle, such as having classes. Nurture younger people who may be taking your spot in twenty years.
What’s next for you and Pottle?
I'm forty years old. I don't see myself in ten years hauling around my kit. I need to be making plans to leave the industry, so Pottle is my exit strategy. It's not on the market so I have to be my own competition.
The Pottle re-design will be launched at the Pasadena NailPro show on May 5, 2019. The first was a concept and limited edition. Now it's time to dive into the added functionalities. I want to spread it across different lines, not just nails, but makeup or whatever you want to do with it in your beauty room.
What do you love most about your job?
I love the parts that don't deal with money, fame, or success. I love the parts that deal with the soul. There have been plenty of times where I've had to stop what I'm doing to pray with someone, hold them, or take them somewhere after a job. I enjoy those things where you feel like you're really needed and have something to do on this earth that has nothing to do with money or getting something from someone.
To learn more about Nette Davis, follow her on Instagram (@nettenailsit and @thepottle) or visit www.pottle.co.
Featured image courtesy of Nette Davis
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Rana Campbell is a Princeton University graduate, storyteller, content marketing strategist, and the founder and host of Dreams In Drive - a weekly podcast that teaches you how to take your dreams from PARK to DRIVE. She loves teaching others how to use their life stories to inspire action within oneself and others. Connect with her on Instagram @rainshineluv or @dreamsindrive.
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
1 In 4 Men And Women Are Faking It—Science Explains How To Change That
It’s no secret that I can’t stand fake orgasms. There are a billion reasons why — some of which I will get into in just a moment. For now, what I will say is, even if you can rationalize that faking orgasms will “get you out of” the sex that you may be having at the moment, when it comes to long-term satisfaction and benefits, how is faking it really going to get you anywhere? At least anywhere good — which is what you totally and absolutely deserve.
And that is why, while I was recently out in cyberspace seeing what the topic of sex had to offer (of merit), a particular study especially caught my attention. The reason why is because, while the topic of faking orgasms has been explored, pretty much ad nauseam at this point, what I haven’t personally seen a lot and enough of is how to stop them from happening so much and when people do them, what personally caused them to in the first place.
Today, we’re going to strive to get down to the root of some of those queries. And so, if you’ve always been curious about how to make the cycle of faking orgasms stop, this piece just might shed a little light. Here’s hoping anyway, chile.
Faking Orgasms. Why I Loathe It So.
GiphyDo you ever stop to think about certain songs from back in the day and wonder if they were released now, would people try to cancel them (hmph, as if this culture ever really cancels anybody for really anything, right?)? An example of what I mean is Alexander O’Neal’s song, “Fake”. If you’re too young to know it, or it’s been a while since you’ve heard it, feel free to go back and listen to the lyrics in order to grasp where I am coming from.
And why am I bringing it up in the context of today’s conversation? Well, whenever I think about folks faking orgasms, that song almost instantly plays in the background of my mind because, while he’s basically talking about the word from the definition of “to conceal the defects of or make appear more attractive, interesting, valuable, etc.,” when I think of “faking it” in a sexual way, definitions like “to deceive,” “to pretend” and “anything made to appear otherwise than it actually is” are what I ponder — because y’all, I don’t care how many people do it, how can any of those definitions truly be good, right or helpful when it comes to copulation? Deceiving your partner into thinking that you climaxed when you actually didn’t? Pretending to be satisfied when you actually aren’t? Making sex appear like it’s one kind of experience for you when it actually…isn’t? SMDH. Yeah, that is something that I can never personally get behind, which is why I once penned, “Why You Should Stop Faking Orgasms ASAP” for the platform. To me, since sex is about establishing a profound mental, emotional, and physical connection, how can that truly and authentically happen if one or both involved individuals are not being honest with each other about what they want, need and desire in order to make that happen?
Yeah, when it comes to the ever so popular fake orgasms, I’ll pass and will forever encourage others to do the same.
Faking Orgasms. Why So Many People Do It.
GiphyHere’s what’s wild, though — even if what I just said made complete and total sense to you, there’s still a really good chance that you’ve faked at least one orgasm before (check out “So, 10 Women Sat Down And Told Me Why They Fake Orgasms...More Times Than Not”). Know what else? There’s also a good chance that your partner has done the same (check out “Men Fake Orgasms (And 14 Other Semi-Random Things About Them In Bed)”. And why is it that so many continue to do it, even if, in the back of their mind, they believe that it’s at least somewhat counterproductive?
Well, from the personal conversations (and coaching sessions) that I’ve had with both men and women, the top reason for why so many men fake orgasms is because they don’t want to hurt their partner’s feelings by telling them that the sex isn’t as good as they might think that it is, and when it comes to women, they fake in order to hurry up and get the experience over with — which, when you really think about it, for both genders, the motives are pretty much two sides of the same coin: people not being satisfied and trying to avoid sharing that reality with their partner.
OK, butwhat does science say is the main cause for men and women faking it? Well, a top reason for whya lot of men decide to go that route is because they simply want to get the experience over with (although being unable to orgasm due to drunkenness, medication, and/or boredom ranked pretty highly, too). And women? Difficulty achieving an orgasm is the biggest one (check out “How Can You Know For Sure That You've Had An Orgasm?” and “Ladies, Please Stop Pressuring Yourself Over Vaginal Orgasms”). Hmph, when I stop to take this all in, I find both reasons to be unfortunate. On the male tip, is it just me, or does it seem like there is a real disconnect of intimacy if that is why men fake it? What I mean by that is, if you’d rather “hurry up and get done” — are you having sex with your partner or at your partner (some of y’all will catch that later)? And, as far as the ladies go, if you are so uncomfortable and/or self-conscious and/or embarrassed about not being able to climax to the point that you will lie and say that you did — do you trust your partner enough to tell him the truth and then are you willing to work through the process of achieving an orgasm…together?
These types of questions are what piqued my curiosity when I happened upon a study of over 11,000 participants that transpired over in the UK. The focal point of it? Since faking orgasms is so prevalent, what actually causes people to stop? Because listen, none of us are actually going to get anywhere if we only focus on the problem and don’t seek to find some sort of solution (lawd).
Faking Orgasms. What Actually Makes People Stop.
GiphyOK, so from what I’ve read and researched, The Journal of Sex Research hassemi-recently published the study that I was just referring to. Before we get into what caused people to stop lying — umm, faking orgasms, check out these findings first:
·51 percent of participants claimed to have never faked an orgasm before
·Close to 66 percent of men and 34 percent of women say that they have faked an orgasm
·Almost 19 percent of men and 35 percent of women say that although they have faked one in the past, they have since stopped
·Almost nine percent of men and 20 percent of women are currently “faking it”
Yeah, I already know. The discrepancies between the men and women are quite noticeable. Let’s keep going, though, because the reason for why men and women decided to stop is the main reason why we’re all here — plus, it’s pretty interesting.
So, when it comes to the demographic of individuals who no longer fake it, what brought them to that point and place? Fascinatingly enough, around 26 percent of both men and women said that the communication between them and their partner improved while 24 percent of both men and women said that it was because their partner became more attentive. Well looka there — when couples connected on a mental and emotional level, the physical aspect of sex got better. Some other points did come into play, though:
·Around 29 percent of women and 25 percent of men decided to be content without having an orgasm
·Around 19 percent of men and 18 percent of women decided to get orgasms on their own (i.e., masturbate)
·Around 19 percent of men and (wow) two percent of women were caught faking it
·Around 15 percent of men and 10 percent are currently not having sex
OK, so when you read all of that, what tripped you out the most? As someone who works with married couples and is a huge advocate of them gettingthe most pleasure possible out of their sexual experiences, honestly, the first three (because, if you are married, please don’t settle fora sexless dynamic). I’ll break down why for each one.
First, if you used to fake orgasms and no longer do because you have settled for — pardon the pun — anti-climatic copulation…settling is exactly what you are doing. Listen, even if you’re not able to achieve a vaginal orgasm (and many women are not), it’s important to remember that there are oh so many other kinds to choose from (check out “U-Spot Orgasm, Fantasy Orgasm & 6 Other Orgasms You Should Try Tonight”). And what if you’ve tried those and still there are nofireworks? Make an appointment to see your doctor (to get your hormone levels checked) and/or a sex therapist (check out “Have You Ever Wondered If You Should See A Sex Therapist?”). Remember, the reason whyyou have a clitoris is so that you can experience the heights of sexual pleasure. If that’s not happening for you, it’s important to do all that you can to get to the root of why.
Secondly, not faking it because you have taken matters into your own hands — literally. So, here’s my issue with that. Unfortunately, our culture is so lust-crazed that we tend to forget (or is it ignore?) that sex shouldn’t ONLY be about cumming; sex should also be about connecting. And so, while masturbation may help you out in the climaxing department, it’s essential to not get so used to it that you fail to bond with your partner or that you put up walls of resentment because there are things that are happening when you’re alone that aren’t happening when the two of you are together. In other words, don’t let jacking off or solo sex toy experiences get in the way of heartfelt and honest conversations with your partner about your sexual needs (check out “How To Get More Of What You Need In The Bedroom” and “Sooo...What's Your Favorite TYPE Of Sex?”).
Finally, getting caught lying — again, I mean, faking it. Yeah, I know that I’m not the only one who noticed that there is a pretty big difference between how many women caught their man acting like he had an orgasm when he didn’t vs. how many men noticed that their lady acting like she had an orgasm when she didn’t. To that, let me first say that if you thought, “If a man ejaculated, he came. Duh” — look updry orgasms sometime. Believe it or not, it is possible for men to orgasm without cumming. And to the fellas (who may be reading this): I continue to be amazed by how you can’t tell if a woman is faking it because even if she is yelling and screaming at the top of her lungs, if her vagina isn’t contracting, guess what? Yeah, between that and extra lubrication coming from her vaginal area —those are pretty common signs that an orgasm has transpired; this basically means that if you don’t notice these things going down, how attentive of a sex partner are you? #justsaying3 Tips to Avoid Faking Orgasms
GiphyNow that you know what science says about why people fake orgasms, did any of the intel surprise you? More importantly, if you can personally relate to what was said, did any of the information inspire you to make some changes in your own sex life? Yeah, if faking orgasms is indeed a thing in your own world right now, as I close this out, here's three quick tips:
1. Remember the definitions of fake. Never forget them. Deception. Pretending. Making something look like something that it is not. No time to get into all of this today, yet I have worked with many people who fake orgasms and…fake other things in their relationship. You don’t want to deceive your partner or yourself. It’s not going to help the relationship. Ultimately, it’s only going to cause hurt and/or harm. Communicate your thoughts and feelings in the way that you would like to hear someone convey theirs to you (respectfully, thoughtfully, etc.); do make sure to share them, though.
2. Stop “performing”. Start being REAL. Know who fakes a lot of orgasms? Porn actors (I prefer to call them that over “porn stars”). That’s because sex work is…work; it’s a billion-dollar industry that people get paid to act like sex is always the bomb. You’re not a porn actor, so why put that kind of pressure on yourself? No matter what the reasons are for why an orgasm isn’t coming for you, if you are having sex with someone who can’t handle the realness of the reasons or “worse”, doesn’t care — don’t put that on the sex or yourself. Sis, you are simply sleeping with the wrong person/people.
3. If you build it, one way or another, it will come…and you will cum.Do orgasms come easier for some than others? 1000 and 10 percent. That is absolutely not the point, though. If experiencing this type of pleasure is what you long for, with the help of your intentions, your partner’s willingness, and if need be, professional assistance, you can get there. Not by faking it — by being honest about the fact that you need more time, patience, and empathy.
____
Clearly, faking orgasms is a common thing; that doesn’t mean that it has to be the case for you, though. As you unpack what has made you start, process how to make it all stop.
Hmph. Better to take a while in order to experience what true bliss feels like than to keep faking it and never really know.
Words to live — and lie down — by. #wink
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Featured image by Giphy