

I've got a question. Have you ever done a sex tape before? C'mon. If you haven't, don't act like you've never considered it before. I mean, it's not like all of us don't have at least a little bit of voyeurism (the desire to watch someone undress or have sex) and/or exhibitionism (the desire to be watched doing the same) in us. It's just that, most of us know to be out here peeking through random windows or stripping out in public is against the law. That's where learning how to make a sex tape comes in. The cool thing about it is it's a wonderful compromise.
So, just how do you pull it off? First, make sure that you make the tape with someone you totally trust, both in and out of the bedroom; that's what's most important. Once you've got the leading man for the starring role, all you've got to do is check the following 10 things off of your DIY sex tape list and you should, literally, be totally good to go.
How To Make A Great Sex Tape
1. Use Your Smartphone. And an Action Camera.
What's a sex tape without equipment, right? If all you're planning to do is record a couple of minutes and immediately delete the footage, your smartphone is really all that you need. But, if you want to go all out and record a semi-masterpiece that you can keep for a while, it's best to have your phone and something along the lines of a camcorder or action camera too. Your phone can catch the close-up shots while a camcorder or action camera (with the help of a tripod) can pan away and get the full view of what you and yours are doing.
As far as which is better (a camcorder vs. an action camera), the choice is totally based on personal preference. While a camcorder can give you high quality, even while holding it with one hand, an action camera is typically cheaper and comes with a ton of mountable options. (A list of the best camcorders is here while a list of some of the best action cameras is here.) Oh, and if you're really serious, you'll probably need to edit your video once you're done. If you're a newbie, you can check out a list of some of the most user-friendly editing software that's currently on the market here.
2. Install Some Orange Light Bulbs
Next to a good camera to shoot your sex tape with, pretty much any professional videographer or photographer will vouch for the fact that getting the right lighting down is key.
To tell you the truth, it's actually best to go with natural light, which means shooting your tape in the daytime (morning sex, anyone?), but if you'd prefer to do it at night, go with some orange light bulbs. It will create a softer effect on camera and also reduce any scars or marks on your skin that might cause you to be a little self-conscious.
3. Pull Out Some Props
Take your sex tape up a notch with the help of a few sex props. You can incorporate something that's already in your house—like your washing machine or kitchen counter—or pick up something like a sex pillow, some handcuffs or a mattress restraint. It really all boils down to how creative and/or risqué you want to get…and how entertaining you want your video to be.
4. Create a Soundtrack. Possibly a Script Too.
Something that can make a sex tape super sexy is some really great music. I ain't gonna lie, when I recently saw a duck twerking video (yes, you read that right), after I almost choked on my spit from laughing so hard, the first thing I wanted to know was what song was the duck dancing to. It was a short bop called "Vibe" by an artist named Cookiee Kawaii. If you don't want incredibly slow or even romantic music, adding songs like that can make your sex tape not just erotic but fun too. You can either play music semi-softly in the background or you can add it to your video afterwards (click here to learn how).
Speaking of fun, if you're hesitant to do a sex tape because you're thinking that it would be mad awkward, how about writing a script to follow? If you go into everything from the mindset of acting, it can take some of the pressure off. It can also make it easier to get into the flow of the act as well. It's not going to Hollywood, so don't overthink it. Just develop a couple of characters, a brief storyline and some loose dialogue. Then wing it, literally, from there.
5. Dress Up
Unless you want you sex tape to be a real-life documentary, by all means, PLEASE dress up for the occasion. If there was ever a time to pull out your absolutely-over-the-top-lingerie-best, it would be now. In fact, ask your partner what he has always fantasized about seeing you in and wear that. If you want to get all technical and you're wondering which colors resonate best on camera, blues and pastels are pretty dope. So are shades of grey and green.
6. Pick Your Angles
Angles are important too. For instance, if you're aiming for getting a wide shot of you and your partner's bodies, it's probably best to prop up your camera on the side of your bed. On the other hand, if a close up of your genitals are more of what you're after, the camera being at the corner of your bed is probably what's best. Just remember that if you use a smartphone and camcorder or action camera, that will help you to easily get some wide shots and close-ups without overthinking or doing a lot of starting and stopping.
7. Do a “Practice Run”
Probably, one of the biggest mistakes that people make while shooting a sex tape is just pulling out their phone or camera and pushing record. That's what makes it really amateur-looking. You can avoid this novice faux pas by doing a bit of a test run before you officially record your own. Set your cameras where and how you want and then shoot a few seconds of video, just to make sure you've got your lighting and angles right. It would be a shame to put in all of that hard work while the camera is crooked or the lighting is so bad that everything is blurry or you can't see much of anything at all.
8. Incorporate Some Erotic Self-Focus
If you've never watched an Aliya Janell Choreography video before, you're missin' out. One of my favorites is her "Backin' It Up" one ("So Anxious" is really sex too); not just because the girls are absolutely killin' the dance moves, but because they know how to rock heels and work a camera. Those dancers are totally aware of the fact that facial expressions are super important when you want to nail a performance. Same goes for a sex tape.
If you're naturally camera shy, something that can bring out your inner sex kitten is practicing some erotic self-focus. If you're sitting over there like, "What the heck is that?!", no worries. I penned a piece on it not too long ago. You can check it out here.
9. Don’t Forget to Do Some Dirty Talking
What's a sex tape without some dirty talking thrown in? Always remember that one of the best things about a sex tape is not just that you're able to watch you and yours in the act but you're able to pay close attention to all that's being said too. If you'd like a little inspiration, Kinky Quotes is full of stimulating one-liners. Remember, only you and yours are gonna see the video, so…feel free to totally go off, sis.
10. Transfer. Or DELETE.
Leaked sex tapes. I'll be honest, when it comes to celebrities, a lot of times they're about as "leaked" as their music (meaning, it's called an accident when it really isn't). Still, sometimes it does happen for real and usually that's because their sex tape is out in a cloud somewhere. That's why it's best to either shoot the video, watch it and then totally delete it (if it's on your iPhone, remember that you've got to also delete it from your "recently deleted album"; if it's your computer, remember to delete it from your recycle bin).
Or, if you want to keep it for future viewing pleasure, transfer the footage to your computer (NOT a cloud) and make sure your computer is password protected.
That way, the only people who can see the tape are the ones you want to see it. I'm pretty sure that you can totally feel me on that. Happy sex shooting, y'all.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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There’s caviar, and then there’s Black-owned caviar. With the recent explosion of #CaviarTikTok, this luxury delicacy seems to be everywhere these days. I can’t scroll through my feed without seeing our favorite celebs and influencers diving headfirst into extravagant caviar spreads.
From Rihanna pairing her caviar with chicken nuggets (I wonder if our Fenty queen shares with RZA and Riot Rose or if this is just for mama) to Bethenny Frankel educating us on caviar with her series "Caviar University," there’s just no escaping it.
And let’s not forget the elite king himself, DeAndre Brown, indulging in fried chicken and caviar! From videos with caviar-topped burgers, potato latkes, deviled eggs, and pasta dishes—folks are topping everything with caviar. Yet, I had not come across any Black-owned caviar brands until I discovered Caviar Dream.
My Introduction Into Caviar
I started off eating caviar in undergrad on top of sushi, exploring with a variety of roe and tobiko but as an adult, I knew I was ready to try something a little more refined. The first time I fell in love with caviar was in grad school at a southern Italian restaurant in Flatiron.
I tried an appetizer that featured caviar on bruschetta, served with thick garlic bread and burrata cheese, and from that moment, I was hooked. That has become my favorite way to enjoy caviar next to this filet mignon crostini appetizer that I served recently at a dinner party.
Everything You Need To Know About Caviar Dream
Caviar Dream is the first nationally distributed Black and woman-owned caviar business, redefining how people experience caviar. Founded by Kendra Anderson, a Chicago based chef and sommelier, the company’s mission is to make caviar more accessible and inclusive, breaking down barriers and demystifying this delicacy.
@caviardreamkendra so you’ve got your Caviar Dream…now what to eat it with? i’ve probably had cavi with just about anything you can imagine at this point {topped some fried cheese curds with my California White a few months ago and it was 💥} but i gotta say that i have some on my scrambled eggs every week 😌 no need to get fancy — just scramble your eggs however you usually do and scoop that cavi right on top 🤤 you can upgrade from there in a few ways: ✨ add a dollop of crème frâiche {see my previous video for a 30 second make-at-home recipe} ✨ sprinkle some chopped chives or green onions on top ✨ put the whole caviar / scrambled egg situation on a toasted + buttered bagel, croissant or onion bun! p.s.: i love our Smoked Trout Roe with scrambled eggs too 💖 if you try any of these combos, let me know what you think! 🩵💭✨👩🏽🍳 #CaviarDream #caviarforthepeople #putsomecaviaronit #caviar #caviartok #fyp #caviarparty #caviarnight #affordableluxury #chicagotiktok #homecooking #galentines #valentinesday #tiktokuniversity #cooking #easyrecipe #caviar101
What Caviar I Tried
Caviar Dream Kaluga Hybrid ($105-$420 depending on the ounce)
How I Experienced The Caviar:
For this review, I opted for a more traditional approach by pairing Caviar Dream's Kaluga Hybrid with crème fraîche, blinis, and my favorite Black-owned champagne, Le KOOL Champagne by Robert Kool Bell.
My Honest Review:
I do not say this lightly - this was by far the best caviar I’ve ever had in my life. It was buttery, had no aftertaste, and truly felt as luxurious as it looked.
Prior to this, my favorite caviar was Imperial Caviar. I’ve tried many brands, from well-known to affordable, while recreating my favorite decadent appetizers at home or enjoying caviar bumps at parties with my friends and they were my favorite until now.
Caviar Dream boasts that chefs are obsessed with this versatile hybrid, which tastes more expensive than it actually is—and they were right. This buttery caviar would pair well with any recipe, especially if you’re looking to impress someone or even treat yourself.
As a Black woman, a business owner, and someone who understands that an extension of financial wellness is circulating our dollars, I recognize the importance of incorporating Black-owned businesses throughout every aspect of my life. From my skincare to my favorite sustainable wine, my bank, and even indulgent experiences like caviar, it matters.
As we celebrate culinary innovation and expand our palates, let’s also take the extra step to support Black-owned businesses while doing it. So the next time you’re tempted by the allure of caviar, order from Caviar Dream—it just might become your new favorite.
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