Geeze. Although it might just be all up in my head, it sure does seem that, as soon as I had my last birthday this past June, my lips decided that they wanted to chap up more than usual. As I tried to go through the process of elimination to figure out why, although a bit of dehydration may have a little bit to do with it, I had to take into consideration that aging may have something to do with it too.
After all, as we get older, it gets harder for our lips to retain moisture, less collagen and elastin are produced in our lips, sometimes our lips end up appearing smaller/thinner and, because there is a decrease of blood vessels in our lips, they can lose some of their natural color too.
Yeah, even though having more years on this earth is indeed a blessing, that doesn’t mean we don’t go through quite a bit of transitioning, from head to toe.
And what if you just read all of that and immediately thought, I love my lips and I don’t want time to change them? Sis, I feel you. Believe me, I do. That’s why I want to share 10 things that you can do to, at best, keep your lips looking just like they do now and, at worst, get them to age far more gracefully than you would without these helpful recommendations.
10 Ways to Keep Your Lips Hydrated
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1. Exfoliate
No matter how old you are, it’s always going to be a wise move to exfoliate your lips on a weekly basis. Not only does it help to remove dry and dead skin (so that your lips end up looking less chapped), it can make your lips feel smoother, reduce the appearance of discoloration on them and it can help to increase hydration to your lips as well. Although you can actually use your toothbrush to exfoliate your lips (by rubbing your damp brush in small circular motions), there are also homemade lip scrubs that you can try. Healthline has 14 recipes that you can check out here.
2. Massage
When was the last time that you gave your lips a nice massage? By first applying a mixture of peppermint oil (no more than one drop) with a carrier oil like grapeseed, avocado, or sweet almond oil and then using your index fingers in a circular motion on your lips, you will increase blood circulation to them, help them to become more plump and full and they will become more rosy-looking too.
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3. Hydrate
If you’ve ever wondered why it seems like your lips get dried out faster and more often than any other part of your body, the main reason is because they don’t have any oil glands; this means that they require hydration from your system and then moisturization (from lip balms, lip gloss, lipstick) on the outside to keep them looking healthy. This is just one more reason why you need to drink no less than 4-6 glasses of water a day. Do you?
4. Consume Collagen
Did you know that collagen accounts for a whopping 30 percent of your body’s protein? And since it’s pretty well-documented that we lose collagen as we age, and that can impact our bone and joint health, how much muscle mass we have, and also how good our skin looks, you definitely need to check out, “We Lose Collagen As We Age. 10 Ways To Naturally Boost It.” If you do, your lips will be grateful because collagen helps to give them the fullness and definition that they have. So, if you haven’t been on top of your collagen intake as of late, here is some inspiration to do so.
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5. Give Your Lips Some Sun Protection
There is no part of your body that shouldn’t be protected from the sun, regardless of how much melanin you may have — including your lips. When it comes to your lips, specifically, if you don’t protect them from potentially damaging UV rays, not only do you put yourself at risk for having a skin cancer diagnosis, but your lips could end up drying out and aging faster than they are supposed to. That’s why it’s imperative that you coat your lips with a lip balm that contains SPF. For the record, jojoba oil and carrot seed oil can support your sun protection efforts too.
6. DIY Vitamin C Lip Balm
One of the best things that I’ve done for my skin over the past several months is to use vitamin C serum on a consistent basis. From providing hydration and reducing hyperpigmentation to boosting collagen production, brightening the skin and protecting skin from UV rays — vitamin C serum really is the truth. That said, if you want your lips to look youthful, I recommend making a lip balm; one that has some vitamin C in it. Although you can apply vitamin C serum directly to your lips, because it might be too strong, it’s actually better to go with a recipe that has citrus essential oil in it (like this one here, here, and here) or one that contains orange peel powder (like this one here).
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7. Treat Your Lips to Some Peptides
Peptides are amino acids that play a variety of roles within your system. As far as your skin goes, peptides are important because they help to create a barrier for your skin while also reducing fine lines and wrinkles, decreasing breakouts, and increasing elastin as well. For all of these reasons, I think that it’s a good idea to apply some peptides to your lips, at least a couple of times a week. These days, there are all types of peptide lip treatments to choose from. One article that provides a variety to test out is Harper BAZAAR’s “The 10 Best Peptide Lip Balms Worth the Hype.”
8. Use Avocado and Mango Body Butter
Although avocados are high in fat, they’re healthy fats (monounsaturated and polyunsaturated fats); ones that can help to lower your cholesterol levels. Not only that but avocados also contain lots of fiber, vitamins C, E, and K, folate, magnesium, and potassium, and they even have some omega-3 in them too. If you get this fruit in the form of avocado oil, you can get the same benefits from the fruit itself which is why I recommend that you either apply avocado oil directly on your lips or make some of your own avocado body butter.
If you blend some avocado oil along with some vitamin E oil (which helps the cells on your lips to turn over faster) and mango butter (which slows down skin age, repairs damaged skin tissue, and helps to protect your skin) and whip it together with a blender, you will end up with a whipped body butter that will work well on your skin and your lips too.
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9. Try Some Calendula Oil
Antibacterial, antifungal, and anti-inflammatory are all properties that calendula oil contains. And since research has indicated that it can help to protect your skin (by reducing the amount of oxidative stress that it encounters), this is why you might want to try it on your lips. Your lips will especially adore it since it can help to provide a barrier to your skin which could protect it from outdoor elements that could dry it (including your lips) out.
10. Apply an Aloe Vera and Honey Mixture at Night
If you don’t already have an aloe vera plant somewhere in your home, maybe this will get you to invest in one. Although it’s a plant that consists of 99 percent water, it also has nutrients in it like selenium, zinc, copper, manganese, magnesium, and fatty acids. These work together to speed up the healing process of minor cuts and wounds, heal sunburn, bring relief to dry skin, and even help with the inflammation and discomfort that are associated with eczema, psoriasis, and acne.
That said, since aloe vera is good at providing so much hydration, if you mix its gel with a drop of honey, the honey’s antimicrobial and anti-inflammatory properties will help to heal your lips by repairing any damaged tissues it may have. The combo is the perfect all-natural all-night lip treatment.
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Aging is coming — and there is nothing wrong with it. Yet if you can get your lips to look and feel wonderful during the aging process, that will make the adjustments so much easier to welcome.
After all, a sexy pair of lips? They are timeless.
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Anyone who remembers the movie (and sequel) isn’t shocked by that because those two had trust issues to the 10th power — and that’s kind of why I’m starting this article out by bringing them up. As far as what you should think long and hard about before getting all up in your partner’s phone, I’ve covered that before in the article, “Before You Go Through His Phone, You Should Know What The Law Says About It.” Today, though, let’s talk about whether or not it’s a good idea for you and your partner to follow each other on social media.
Because although you might think this is a “duh” kind of topic, it actually…isn’t.
Here’s What Data Says About Social Media and Relationships
GiphyLet’s start all of this with a brief social media history lesson.
If you’re someone who happens to remember the social media platform Six Degrees, I’m impressed because it’s considered to be the first solid evidence of social media; the real ones are going to recall that Black Planet made its way into cyberspace in 1999 (a couple of years after Six Degrees). By the early 2000s, we had MySpace, Friendster, YouTube, Facebook, Twitter, and even LinkedIn. Before we knew it, by 2015, at least 65 percent of Americans had at least one social media platform with almost 70 percent of them hanging out on Facebook alone. This meant that now, more than ever, folks had access to more information and individuals at one time than ever before — and as with most things in life, there were pros and cons to that.
Since today, what we’re focusing on is the impact that social media can have on long-term romantic relationships, I’ll share some of the downsides of it when it comes to things like marriage.
Whether it’s jealousy, insecurity, infidelity, having unrealistic expectations, making unfair comparisons, or even experiencing low-key paranoia, sadly, we are now at a point where some studies say that social media is a top issue (if not a main cause) in at least one-third of divorces (other studies say that social media significantly impacts one in seven divorces and a particular study even cited that Facebook plays a huge role in one in five divorces).
And although some of these situations can be debated based on what one’s personal perception is (for instance, one study says that 45 percent of Americans consider their partner following an ex on social media to be a form of infidelity), one thing that I think we all can agree on is social media has proven that it can complicate matters, as far as relationships go.
So, while keeping all of this in mind, what do research and relationship experts say when it comes to whether you should get a front-row seat to whatever may be happening on your partner’s social media pages?
Well, this HuffPost article features a woman who says that she and her man spend enough time together offline that engaging online isn’t really necessary. Independent’s article, “If you love someone, don’t follow them on social media” shares that social media can easily get you caught up in the “un-realness” of it all that your relationship could end up becoming a soap opera without you even noticing it.
A relationship expert who was featured in Men’s Health’s “Stop Following Your Significant Other on Social Media” article said that if your relationship already has some pressures and stress in it, social media isn’t going to do it any favors. Plus, it can negatively impact how two people in a relationship communicate with one another.
Hmph. Sounds to me like you and your bae following each other online seems like it could ultimately do more harm than good. And although this certainly doesn’t apply to everyone, I do think there are some things that you should really ponder before requiring this in your own relational dynamic.
Know Your WHY
GiphyWanna get to the root of why you want or are about to do something? Know your why. “Knowing your why” basically consists of figuring out the true motives and/or underlying reasons for why you’re about to say or do something — and when it comes to following your partner on social media, you should definitely spend some time contemplating this.
If you need a bit of help with figuring your true why out, in the business world, there is something known as “the five whys” (some use “5” instead). It’s basically about resolving a problem by asking enough whys that will help you to get to the root of it.
For instance, if I said to you, “Why do you think that you and your partner should follow each other on social media?” and you said, “Because I want to be aware of what they are doing on there,” then my next question would be “And why is that?” and if you said something like, “Because I trust my man but I don’t trust the strangers that he engages with” (if you trust him, that should be enough, by the way) and then I said, “And why is that?” and you say, “Because one time I went on his page and saw some comments from people that I didn’t know and it bothered me” and I say, “Why?” and you say, “Because it reminded me of a time when an ex cheated on me and I never really got over it” and I follow up with a fifth why, “And you say, because, deep down, I think all men are unfaithful” — BAM, we just got to the root cause of WHY you want to follow your partner and it actually has little to do with wanting to engage in some light online fun and entertainment.
Accepting that why can help you to work through some issues that you are putting on social media that actually don’t have a ton to do with it (or your partner) at all.
Now, am I saying that every person who follows “their person” online has some deep-rooted issues? Absolutely not. Some couples follow each other and don’t think any more about it beyond following any other person who they care about. All I’m saying is if you are unbending about doing it, you should look into what that is all about. Your “why” could be quite telling.
Social Media Could Possibly Jack Up Your Intimacy
GiphySomething that kind of irks me is when people say that social media is not the real world. Chile, being social is real and media is real, and if it was just play-play, why are so many folks so consumed with and by it? Just like there can be “fake folks” at your job, in your church, and even in your social circles offline, there can sho ‘nuf be disingenuous individuals out in the social media streets; however, that doesn’t mean that social media isn’t…REAL. And the reality is that people, on average, spend somewhere around 2.5 hours daily on social media.
And if one of the people who you are “checking for” online is your partner, that can waste precious time that the two of you could be spending together. It can also cause you to communicate more online than face-to-face. Don’t believe me? Chile, I can’t BELIEVE how many clients I’ve had who argue via text. SMDH. You can’t read tone in text. Messages are oftentimes abbreviated in text. Lawd, although text was created to be a “get to the point” convenience via cell phones, it was never supposed to replace authentic communication and dialogue about serious matters. And for some people, social media pretty much does the same thing.
Couples will “fight” on social media. Couples will throw passive-aggressive shots on social media. Couples will get mad at each other and then DM each other based on things that they saw on each other’s pages via social media. Does any of that sound healthy to you?
Another way that social media can mess your relationship up? Not too long ago, I was talking to an older married man about why divorce rates seem to be higher now than back in his day. He tickled me when he said, “We used to miss our spouses because we weren’t on the phone or on some damn computer interacting with each other all damn day long.” He’s got a point. If you’re engaging, one way or another, with your partner throughout the day, that could result in you having little to say once you get home. That’s not good.
Some other things to consider when it comes to being connected on social media: well, while reading an article on a legal mediator’s website about how social media can cause breakdowns in marriage, the author said that it can be due to things like unwarranted jealousy via comparing yourself to other people, trying to control your partner’s social media (or how they choose to engage in it) and/or misinterpretations that can cause conflict (like getting mad when they like a picture or misreading an emoji that someone puts in the comments).
Drama. All this drama that could be avoided if you both agreed to let social media be one thing separately so that the two of you can build a solid foundation and spend some genuine quality time offline.
When It Comes to Healthy and Long-Lasting Relationships, Privacy Is King
GiphyAnother reason to not follow your partner online: is to keep everything private. Think that isn’t a valid point? Well, Hip-hop artist Method Man has been married to his wife, Tamika for 24 years (this year) and he has said on multiple occasions that the key to marital success is not to talk about your relationship. Actor Morris Chestnut will celebrate 30 years of marriage in 2025 to his wife, Pam and he has also said that “It’s best to keep my private life under wraps because the more you put out there, the more stories get made up.” (Interestingly enough, he also once said that flirting on social media is a deal-breaker.)
Actor Kerry Washington has been married to her husband, Nnamdi Asomugha since 2013 and they are also notorious for not discussing their relationship. Reportedly, she once told Glamour, “I have girlfriends in this business who talk about their personal lives, and it works for them, and I love it. But not for me. I learned through experience that it doesn’t work for me to talk about my personal life.” And y’all, I don’t really get how privacy is effectively and consistently maintained if you and your partner are all up on and in each other’s social media all of the time.
Indeed, if you want to set (and maintain) healthier boundaries, keep outside influences down to a minimum, and reduce the amount of opinions, perceptions, and negativity from infiltrating your relational bond — privacy is king. Online as well as off.
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Chile, I already know — some of y’all read all of this and you’re not budging. LOL. You’re going to require that you and your partner follow each other on social media and that’s all there is to it. To each their own. I just hope that you at least now see that there is a method in the madness of opting not to do it and it could actually bring more peace to your relationship by choosing not to do so.
Besides, no one said that you need to block each other. I simply said to consider the benefits that come from them not popping up in your feed nonstop. I mean, you do have each other’s number and you are a huge part of each other’s lives, right? In a healthy and solid relationship, for many…that is more than enough.Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
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