In pursuing the goal of experiencing the best sex ever, there are three main mistakes that I think a lot of people make. One is overthinking everything; the more mindful you are during sex, the more willing you are to just relax and be in the moment, and the more fulfilling your experience will be. The second thing? Becoming sexually lazy. One of the best things about sex is it can almost always be topped — so why not try?
The couples who are always trying to make the next experience better than the last rarely are bored, nor do they end up finding themselves in a sexual rut. And the third? Not being proactively intentional about bringing all five senses into the bedroom (or wherever they choose to do it). Indeed, something that makes sex top-notch is the fact that there are super sensual ways to incorporate sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch to it.
So, let’s do this. Let’s explore five ways for each of the five senses to be stimulated in such a way that sex with your partner won’t just be “good” — it’ll truly be unforgettable!
SIGHT
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Write a sex note. It’s probably that I’m a words of affirmation person that I wrote articles for the site like “Every Woman Should Write A Love Letter To Themselves” and “Why Writing Love Letters Is A Surefire Way To Revive Your Marriage.” Either way, there are plenty of studies out here to support the fact that your handwriting reveals a lot about your personality. For instance, outgoing personalities tend to use bigger letters while shy folks use smaller ones, and the more legible your signature is, the more confident you tend to be (illegible speaks to being more private).
Anyway, it’s thoughtful, seductive, and it reveals a very personal side of you to handwrite a sex note to your partner. It can be a story, a memory, or a fantasy. Mail it to them (even if you live together), and put it in one of their office drawers or even under their pillow. Allow them to see you in this kind of creative light.
Text a super up close or blurry pic. Speaking of seduction, no matter how many times your partner has seen you naked, there are approaches you can take that will make it feel like it’s the first time. One is to take a super close shot of a body part and ask them to guess what it is. Another is to take a super blurry one and add a message that only they will understand. It’s gonna be hella intriguing either way.
Use candlelight. If you’re someone who would prefer to have sex in the dark while your partner wants the lights on, the compromise is to go with candlelight. It’s romantic. It’s body flattering. And, if you go with some scented soy (soy burns longer) candles like jasmine, vanilla, or patchouli, the candles will create an aphrodisiac atmosphere too.
Incorporate each other’s favorite colors. Something else that I’m a fan of is color psychology (check out “Understanding Color Psychology Will Sharpen Your Lens On Life”). Not only do different colors represent different things (and can affect your mood in different ways), but wearing your favorite color can make you feel better about yourself, while wearing your partner’s favorite color can entice them all the more. Definitely, something to keep in mind as you’re out here doing some lingerie shopping (when’s the last time you did that, by the way?).
Maintain eye contact. In almost any context, maintaining eye contact with people is important. Business Insider once published an article stating that eye contact cultivates attraction, maintains a level of honesty, helps you to be more memorable, and can even make it possible for two people to fall in love. Pretty sure you can see why I added this to the “sight” list. Eye contact during sex is EVERYTHING.
HEARING
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Verbalize, in explicit detail, what you want to do to your partner. Wanna do some sex pregaming? Give your partner a preview of what’s to come by calling them out of nowhere to talk about all of the things you want to do the next time the two of you are intimate. It will definitely pique their curiosity. Plus, this is a great workaround for people who struggle with dirty talk (a tip: don’t overthink it; your tone of voice matters more than your actual words anyway. No, seriously.).
Play nature-based ASMR sounds. If you’re someone who likes to listen to music or sounds of nature during sex (more on that in a sec), it might surprise you to know that you enjoy something that’s a low-key sexual fetish. It’s called auralism, and it’s all about being aroused via sound. As far as nature sounds (like rain, ocean waves, wind, etc.) go, science says that hearing them helps to reduce stress, decrease pain, and it can also put you in a way better mood.
So, the next time that you’re trying to create some ambiance go to YouTube and find some nature sounds (many of them run on a loop for hours on end). It’s an unsung hack that can make a world of difference as far as your sex life is concerned.
Whisper. Speaking of ASMR, did you know that sounds like whispering can create a literal “brain orgasm” without you even laying a hand on your partner? It’s relaxing. It’s seductive. It triggers euphoric sensations. Just thought I would put that out there.
Moan. Recently, while listening to the extended mix of the throwback R&B group Intro’s “Come Inside,” I was trying to figure out how people can “fake moan” and make it sound at least semi-convincing.
Anyway, if you want to heighten both your and your partner’s sense of hearing when it comes to sexual intimacy, moaning is gonna get the job done. In fact, according to science, moaning creates vibrations throughout the body that can intensify sex and orgasms. Plus, it’s a way to let your partner know that they are meeting your sexual needs.
So, if you’re a loud moaner, awesome (check out “Ever Wonder What The Sounds You Make During Sex Mean?” when you get a chance). If you’re self-conscious about doing it, remember that you’ve got science to back up giving it a shot ASAP.
Praise your partner.I once read that whenever someone receives a compliment, it activates the same part of their brain as receiving money (no joke). That said, I can’t think of any person who would ever get tired of receiving genuine praise for their sexual performance. So, before, during, and after the deed is done, be intentional about verbally affirming your partner for the things that you thoroughly enjoyed. Watch them “return the favor” once you do.
SMELL
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Put his favorite scent on your pressure points. The article “Feelin' On These Pressure Points Will Give You The Best Sex Of Your Life” is all about certain parts on your and your partner’s bodies that can intensify sexual pleasure whenever they are touched. That said, imagine how much more exhilarating the touches will feel if your partner gets to smell his favorite scent in those very spots.
Out of the five senses, smell doesn’t get nearly as much attention — oh, but it should, considering the fact that various smells connect us to certain emotions and memories. Not only that but studies say that those who have a stronger sense of smell ultimately have better sex lives too.
Apply essential oils to your bedding. Keeping what I just said in mind, when was the last time that you sprinkled some essential oils on your bedding? Personally, I prefer essential oils to perfume or cologne because they are good for your health, and the quality brands, tend to last much longer. And when it comes to sex specifically, there’s something about rolling around in aphrodisiac-based smelling sheets that really is a perfect touch (check out “8 Natural Aphrodisiac Scents, Where They Go & How To Make Them Last”).
Add fresh flower petals to your bed too. Roses have had a long-standing and pretty solid reputation for being an aphrodisiac scent too. Not only that, but some people even eat rose petals because they are loaded with antioxidants. Personally, I like the soft and feminine scent that fresh rose petals provide along with how great they feel on my skin. Get all of these benefits by sprinkling some fresh rose petals on your bed. You can never go wrong by doing so.
Add an aphrodisiac scent to your hair. A few years back, I penned an article for the site entitled, “Contrary To Popular Assumption, Black Women LOVE Getting Their Hair Pulled During Sex” — and you know what? It really is the icing on the cake for your hair to smell absolutely amazing as he does it. So, whether it’s perfume, cologne, or an essential oil, don’t forget to spray or rub some onto your tresses. Whew, chile.
Put some lavender and pumpkin oil in between your thighs. I will forever shout through the proverbial bullhorn that studies say that the combination of lavender and pumpkin oil can increase the speed of a man’s erection by a whopping 40 percent! Definitely, something to keep in mind if you’ve got a partner who battles a bit with erectile dysfunction or you’re someone who enjoys immediate penetration following being on the receiving end of oral sex.
Dab a bit of the combo in between your thighs and just watch — well, feel — what happens! (By the way, you can purchase a roll-on combo of two fragrances at an affordable price by going here.)
TASTE
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Get some honey dust. Back in my more active days (LOL), I took a hack from Valerie Malone via Beverly Hills, 90210, when she told one of her partners that she applies honey dust to her skin so that he could lick it off. Let’s just say that if you try it, you’ll be in for a wild ride. You can cop some for yourself here.
Experiment with some “sex condiments.” Along these same lines, one time I was working with a couple who both wanted a bit of assistance without making giving oral sex less awkward. I shot them the article, "12 ‘Sex Condiments’ That Can Make Coitus Even More...Delicious” that I once penned. Why?
Basically, sometimes it can seem a bit intimidating to take in natural body fluids. One way to make it less overwhelming is to “mask” the tastes with ones that are more familiar such as frosting, chocolate syrup, or even condensed milk.
Suck on some mint candy. Even though I’ve actually read that consuming mint can lower a man’s testosterone levels and ultimately his sex drive, if you gargle some mint mouthwash or suck on a mint prior to performing fellatio, the menthol can feel hella exhilarating for him and make his orgasms even more memorable. Hey, but you ain’t gotta take my word for it. A couple of years ago, some mints called Flintts were taking oral sex activity by storm, chile: “What the Heck Are These Oral Sex Mints All Over TikTok?”.
Play around with nutmeg and cloves. Whether you decide to make a dessert with nutmeg and cloves, drink some tea with these spices sprinkled in, or you come up with some other creative way to incorporate them into your plans for the evening, nutmeg is a solid libido-booster and cloves increase energy levels and blood flow (including to your genital region) as well as increases your body temperature. Where’s your spice rack at?
DIY some dried figs. There is nothing wrong with bringing food into the bedroom. That said, next time, how about some figs? Visually, they are a fruit that’s actually used to symbolize the vagina; plus, the amino acids in them help to relax the blood vessels in your body, so that blood is able to flow freely through you and your partner’s genitalia. You can get a ton of dried fig recipes here.
TOUCH
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Wear silk lingerie. Even though lace has quite the reputation when it comes to lingerie, a fabric that deserves a lot more attention is silk. It’s soft. It’s luxurious. And, by many, it’s considered to be the most sensual fabric there is. Also, on the practical side, silk can help to reduce hot flashes, improve your quality of sleep, help to prevent yeast infections, and improve the appearance and feel of your skin. All worthwhile selling points to keep in mind for the next time you’re picking up a teddy or baby doll ensemble.
Twist your wrist during fellatio. I enjoy Black web series. One from back in the day that I will rewatch from time to time is called Diary of a Cheating Man. In episode two, (the character) Cory gives away a fellatio hack that I can personally vouch for.
If you’re someone who is a bit skittish about giving head, something that can take some of the mouth pressure off is to use your hands more. Apply an edible lubricant and then twist your wrist clockwise and counterclockwise as you’re gently moving up and down his shaft. That way, you don’t have to do quite as much sucking (if that’s not your thing; do lick, though), and he won’t feel (quite so) gypped because of it.
Use your tongue where you would put your hands. I recently read an article (entitled “The Human Tongue Can Help Blind People 'See' The World. Here's How”) that said, “The brain can allocate tactile attention on the surface of the tongue in the same way as the hands or other modes of attention.” If you add to this the fact that, although the tongue is not the strongest muscle in the body, it is, most definitely one of the most flexible, and you add to that how warm and wet it is — it will only benefit you and your partner to substitute your tongue for your hands during foreplay…don’t ya think?
Play with each other’s belly buttons. One of the best ways to keep your partner intrigued is to not always go for the “predictable” body parts. For instance, when’s the last time that the two of you played around with each other’s belly buttons? The belly button has multiple nerve endings, it’s a fun way to tease your partner during foreplay, and it’s not uncommon for women to feel clitoral stimulation whenever that area of their body is caressed in any way. So, why not kiss, massage, or use your fingers to play around with the belly button during sexual activity? You both may be pleasantly surprised by the sensation that it creates.
Kiss during afterplay. One more. A question that I get asked fairly often is what can increase a woman’s chances of having multiple orgasms. There are several. One of them is to kiss during afterplay (which is basically foreplay after having sex). There is a lot of intel in these streets (check out “Wanna Climax More? KISS MORE.”) that cosigns on the fact that kissing is extremely stimulating.
So, even though few things top spooning naked and taking a nap after getting in a round of romping, an immediate — as they used to say it back in the day — make-out session following your first orgasm can definitely put you on the path to experiencing a second one. Try it. How could you — and all of your senses — not like it? Enjoy!
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'We Had To Heal To Love': Taja Simpson And Ryan Easter’s Journey To Lasting Love
How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
One of my favorite things about interviewing married couples and hearing their diverse “How We Met” stories is the way they affirm true love and integral beliefs. One principle that I wholeheartedly believe is that one must truly know and love oneself before effectively doing it for another human being, and Taja Simpson and Ryan Easter’s story affirms this.
Taja, an actress known most for her role on BET’s The Oval, and businessman/model Ryan Easter tied the knot on July 27 in an intimate and beautiful wedding in LA - surrounded by friends and family. During our 40+ minute conversation, the newlyweds opened up about the inner work journey they both went through individually to become their best selves.
Taja revealed that her grateful and light spirit came after being in a depressive state and doing a great deal of healing and education. And Ryan shared how losing a parent as a youth affected how he showed up in the world and the truths he had to face to embrace who he is wholly.
The pair also chatted about the power of intention, the importance of working through trauma, and the work they do every day to honor their partnership. There’s a reason their glow is so beautiful! It comes from the inside.
“You're meeting me now after I've done all this work, but I had to go through it to get to that space and be in a very happy, healed relationship,” Taja says. Check out the layered conversation below.
xoNecole: I’ll start with the most obvious question: how did you two meet, and what were your initial feelings about each other?
Ryan Easter: We connected through friends. At the time, I was in New York, and she was back and forth between LA and Atlanta. But our mutual female friends were together and decided they needed to set me up. So they confirmed I was looking for something serious and then sent me her picture.
And I was like, "Okay, she looks good - a chocolate drop." But then I thought, "What's wrong with her? So, I called them up, and one of them was messing with me and said, "Oh, she's a little crazy." I was like, "Whoa, I can't do crazy anymore. I've dealt with that before. I’d rather stay by myself than deal with that again." Then she clarified, "No, I'm just kidding. She's crazy in a good way. She's a lot of fun and has her stuff together. That’s how it started for me.
Taja Simpson: I was just going about my life, getting ready for another season of The Oval, when I got a text from my friend Natasha. She said, "Hey, I don't think you're dating anybody, but I have a friend I think you should meet. He's a great guy." She gave me this huge pedigree, saying they had been friends for 19 years. I thought, "Wow, he sounds amazing." But when she sent me a photo, I didn’t like it.
Later, I thought about it and figured it could just not be a good picture. So she sent his Instagram which had all these modeling fitness pictures and stuff. And then I was like, wow - you had my whole husband this time and didn’t tell me - now I told her she could give him my number.
"I was just going about my life, getting ready for another season of The Oval, when I got a text from my friend Natasha. She said, "Hey, I don't think you're dating anybody, but I have a friend I think you should meet. He's a great guy." She gave me this huge pedigree, saying they had been friends for 19 years. I thought, "Wow, he sounds amazing." But when she sent me a photo, I didn’t like it."
Taja Simpson & Ryan Easter
Photo by @jorgemezaphotos
xoN: I love that because, you know, there's all these conversations about the ways people meet, and I still feel like friends and family are one of the best ways. It’s like they know you! What are your thoughts?
Ryan: Yeah, absolutely! You feel a great sense of obligation to be the best version of yourself because you’re not just representing yourself; you’re also representing the person who referred you. I can’t go out there acting like a fool and have them looking at their friend like, "Why did you hook me up with this clown?" It’s like, we're gonna be clear and honest about our intentions. And if it works, great, and if it doesn't, it's okay.
Taja: Exactly. When he called, we spoke that day for like, an hour. The rest was history. We just connected, and it was great. After that, we started talking every day, and now here we are.
xoN: Okay, so tell me about your first date! Do you remember where you went? What did you do? How was the vibe?
Taja: Our first in-person date was two months after we met over the phone. This was during COVID, so we got introduced in July 2020 but didn’t meet until September. From July to September, we were doing video dates and phone calls, building up this excitement about meeting in person. I was really nervous. I thought, "Oh my God, is it going to be like it was over the phone?" We really connected and vibed. I was there to pick him up at LAX, and I felt like this was it. I thought, "God put this brother in my life to be this good, this perfect." It felt too good to be true.
I actually had a friend meet us at the airport to film our meeting without him knowing. I told her to stay in the corner and keep the camera hidden. When he was coming down the escalator, I had this whole plan to run up to him in slow motion and jump into his arms. When I saw him, I froze. I was so nervous that I couldn’t move! He came up to me, gave me a big hug, and swung me around, and I just thought, "Wow!" Everything I planned went out the window.
Ryan: I was really excited to meet her, too. Technically, our first date was at Firestone Brewery. After the airport, we went back to her place to drop off my stuff, and then she said, "I like to drink beer," so she took me to a brewery nearby.
I remember being there, and we were kind of embracing, but not too much since it was technically the first time we were in physical proximity. You still have to play it cool, even after talking for a while. But every time I touched her, it felt good. I thought, "Yeah, this is it." When we hugged at the airport, I felt like, "Yo, this is home." At that moment, I knew she was the one.
xoN: Ugh, I love that. So when did the courtship start to develop into a relationship? Did y'all have that conversation?
Ryan: Initially, we were very clear about our intentions. We were both dating with purpose and had similar aspirations of eventually finding someone to marry, start a family, create businesses together, and live our lives to the fullest. We knew from the beginning that this was our goal and checked in with each other to see if we were on the same page.
After establishing our intentions, it was about having those small conversations. We discussed what was important to each of us—our needs, wants, likes, dislikes, triggers, and traumas. All those details are crucial for building a solid foundation for a healthy relationship. We spent a lot of time getting to know the real person, not just the representative we might present to the world.
Sometimes, it’s difficult because it requires us to be extremely vulnerable. For men, especially in our society, vulnerability is often frowned upon, making it hard to expose that sensitive side. You never know how people will react—some might use it against you, while others might protect you.
I think for her; it took her understanding that mentality that men have and use that to her advantage to make sure she's like, look, this is a safe space for you to allow me to see the full person that you are. I appreciated that because, like, I would tell her, if you really want a man to value you, he has to feel safe with you, right, not necessarily in a physical capacity but more so from an emotional standpoint; I need to feel like I can be safe with you emotionally.
So that courtship was a lot of just having those serious, sometimes difficult conversations about things we're going through in the past to things we aspire to accomplish in the future, to things that we're currently dealing with, and started to gain that understanding about who we are and what we aspire to be, and just continue to flow.
"So that courtship was a lot of just having those serious, sometimes difficult conversations about things we're going through in the past to things we aspire to accomplish in the future, to things that we're currently dealing with, and started to gain that understanding about who we are and what we aspire to be, and just continue to flow."
Taja: I mean, that's exactly right, and a lot of it we spoke about even before we met. Because it was this free thing where we didn’t know each other. We didn't have to be a representative. I was just my authentic self. It’s like - I'm an actor, and I got five or six characters that may come out in our conversation. I'll be funny, then the next moment, I'll be serious. It just happens.
I was very vocal about how I foresee my life going. Also, because I'm in entertainment, that played a part. I had met people before who couldn't handle that. They wanted a woman with a nine-to-five, a teacher, or just somebody with a very strict schedule. But that wasn't me. So I think we were super intentional when it came to dating and making sure we can build and grow together. So, we made that commitment prior to him leaving. He came to LA for a week, and the day before he left, it was like, okay, so this is it.
xoN: I’ve noticed that intention and vulnerability are both powerful words that you two keep using, which I think is essential for any long-term relationship. What are some of your other shared values?
Ryan: Also, we both understood the power of mindset. When you see successful or unsuccessful people, sometimes others will attribute their state to their family or money. And I'm not saying that that doesn't help. But there are a lot of people who have come from very humble beginnings and very troubled past that have gone on to do great things, and it all had to do with their mindset. They had to leave and see themselves doing what they desired to do before it became a reality in the physical realm.
I think a lot of those beliefs and mentalities that we shared was refreshing because, you know, we've all known people that every time you talk to them, something bad is going on. And it's such a drag because they can bring your energy down. We don't subscribe to that. Not saying that we don't go through tough times. But when we do, the question that we always ask ourselves is, what is it that I'm supposed to learn from this? I think those type of elements of just being in alignment mentally about how we view the world definitely help to solidify our relationship and our connection.
Taja: When we met, I was in a headspace of growth. We now call it believe, evolve, become because you have to believe that thing right in order to show up. We both understand that your vibration precedes your manifestation, so you have to vibrate and believe at a certain level. Act as if you have to be in that space, that energy, in order for that thing to come so you can evolve and then become whatever that said thing is. But I was in that headspace before we met, and I was clearing out people in my life.
I was really intentional with finding someone that was in that headspace, too. I was not okay with anyone being stagnant.
Taja Simpson & Ryan Easter
Photo by @jorgemezaphotos
xoN: You two seem so evolved individually and collectively. I'm curious, were there any challenges that you two had to get through together, and what did you learn from that experience?
Ryan: Being parents. And if your partner doesn't have a great pregnancy, then it can be tough, and it stretches you in a lot of ways. But I would definitely say the first five months of being new parents was a lot because we were both exhausted. And she's also trying to heal her body because giving birth puts a tremendous amount of stress on the woman's body. It gives you a different respect for the strength of femininity because I wouldn't want to go through that. And I was there the whole 29 hours.
So during that time I'm getting snappy because I need to rest. I have not been able to rest, and I'm sleep-deprived, and I don't feel like I got my foot in yet. And, and then, on top of that, you have this, this really small human that's completely dependent upon you. They can't do anything for himself, and that, even psychologically, that's a lot to carry. But the thing that I think that has helped us is that we understand that we won't always be on the same page. It's okay to have disagreements, but you always have to lead with love, meaning that if I'm upset with her or she's upset with me, we focus on what the issue is.
Taja: I had a horrible pregnancy and was still feeling like I want to be productive; it’s just part of who I am. And during the newborn phase, like he said, we were exhausted. We were zombies. I'm getting whiny. I need sleep. He's getting snappy and short, and we're having to figure out us. The hardest thing is trying to still learn how to effectively communicate in the midst of this space where you are exhausted; you don't feel good, nothing's going your way.
But I'm a big believer of being accountable, especially for women, because women are not always accountable. But we encourage each other to address the trauma and encourage positive self-thought and talk. Because what you think, speak, and do creates power for better and worse.
xoN: Were there any past traumas you had to heal from in order to love each other correctly, and do you feel comfortable discussing them?
Ryan: For me, the biggest thing was my father’s death at nine. You’re young, and you don’t know how to process the loss. It’s one of those things I thought I dealt with, but when I got into my adult years, I realized it didn’t. I always felt like I had to go above and beyond because I didn’t have my father there to be a man - I excelled in sports and academics, but it was based on an inadequate feeling.
I understand the importance of fathers in children’s life but you still have the power to be the best version of yourself whether your father is there or not. And I believe the almighty Creator will put people in your life to be the best version of yourself. I wanted to be that confident person for her and our children - and I didn’t want to carry that trauma into our relationship or our son. So I worked on it before us and I continue to now.
Taja: Mine was colorism. I grew up where the brown paper bag thing was a thing. There were kids I couldn’t play with because “I was too Black.” I had a family member who called me “Ew.” Like she’d literally say, come here, Ew, you ugly thing. And my family, for a long time, didn’t realize how it was breaking me. But eventually, my mom noticed and taught me more about self-esteem and then I started to do the work. But it still shows its head. I still would have thoughts that I’m not good enough because of how I look. I’ve literally not tried out for roles because of that. One of my friends’ friends has literally called out once that I was the only dark person at an event.
So when I started doing the work, I noticed the ways it showed up, like I just wouldn’t want to be in the sun long. I mean when I was younger, I used to pray to God to make me “better” or lighter. It took a long time to really get over that. There’s a book I wrote called Women Who Shine - where I got my thoughts out about this.
So he knows my sensitive spots and speaks to the little girl in me. It's so interesting how the things we go through when we’re young affect us in adulthood. Mental health is as important as physical health - and I’m grateful that he understands the importance of both of those.
xoN: Thank you for your vulnerability. I hope it helps someone else. Finally, I’ll close with this: what’s your favorite thing about each other?
Ryan: Definitely her mindset. She doesn’t have a victim mindset; she’s empowered. That’s so attractive. I believe that she prides herself on being a good, great communicator. She moves with integrity, you know, I think that's important. And you know, she also understands the importance of taking care of her physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing.
Taja: There’s so many. Where do I start? My husband is supremely supportive. I absolutely love that about him. Also, I love his intention. I love how effectively he communicates. I love how he fathers our child. I love how he looks. Because, praise God. Okay, I'm just gonna put that out there.
But you know what, my favorite thing about him is that I love that he's a man of integrity.
Integrity was the highest things on my list when I’d write out what I wanted in a partner. Because it’s everything. And so I love that I feel the level of safety that I feel with him, that I can completely be my 100% authentic self. I know that he's taking care of me, my heart, and our family. We're good.
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Feature image by @jorgemezaphotos
Dreaming Of A Snowy Escape? These 7 Winter Wonderland Vacations Are Perfect For The Holidays
While most people opt for a tropical vacation during the winter months, there are still many people who want to fulfill their winter wonderland fantasies, which are more than likely centered on watching snow by the fireplace while sipping some hot cocoa.
With Thanksgiving vastly approaching and Christmas a little under a month away, there is still time to ditch the traditional Christmas home to visit family or friends. Whether you’re looking to put a new stamp on your passport and keep things domestic with a destination in the States, xoNecole has you covered with a few hotspots for those itching to go somewhere cold (but with cozy vibes) this holiday season.
Aspen, Colorado
Our Christmas queen, Mariah Carey, has been taking an annual trip to this snowy destination since 1997, just three years after dropping the track that would make her the unofficial (but official to us) ambassador of the winter holiday.
Aside from being a key vacation spot for one of the culture’s greatest musicians, Aspen also offers travelers access to world-class skiing and snowboarding and four distinct mountains that provide the perfect backdrop for a winter vacation.
Whistler, British Columbia, Canada
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Home to the largest ski resort in North America, Whistler Blackcomb, this destination is located in the Coast Mountain Range and is about 75 miles north of Vancouver.
From luxury spas like Scandinave Spa Whistler to Olympic Park, this is another top winter vacation spot that offers a unique experience for people who love snow and the thrill of a good adventure.
Western Massachusetts
Dubbed the place for a magical holiday escape, Springfield, Massachusetts, blends the warmth of small-town charm with unforgettable experiences like Grinchmas at Springfield Museums, Winterlights at Naumkeag in Stockbridge, Historic Deerfield’s Winter Frolic, and many others.
This destination offers something for all ages, and it’s close to home, making it all the more reason to place on your radar for a winter getaway.
Rovaniemi, Finland
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If you want to really get into the Christmas spirit, this just may be the place for you. As the official home to Saint Nick himself, Rovaniemi, Finland offers reindeer sleigh rides, the opportunity to stay in a glass igloo, as well as an opportunity to experience the Santa Claus Village.
Lake Tahoe, California/Nevada
Who says that visits to the lake house are only reserved for summer vacation? A winter trip to Lake Tahoe is equipped with stunning lake views and top-notch ski resorts, including Heavenly and Northstar.
Chamonix, France
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Sitting at the base of Mont Blanc, Chamonix, France, is known for its skiing and mountaineering. This destination is home to the Aiguille du Midi cable car, the charming Alpine village, and is also close to various other European ski destinations.
Northeastern Pennsylvania
This area of the U.S. state is home to the Poconos Mountains, whose renowned ski resorts include Camelback Mountain, Blue Mountain, and Jack Frost Big Boulder. Whether you’re a ski expert, a beginner, or just there for the vibes, this destination makes for a winter vacation that balances fun adventures and cozy getaways. Additionally, Pennsylvania is home to the Christmas Tree Capital of the world.
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Feature image by Sergio Mena / Getty Images