When it comes to sex, I'm all about the classics and relying on slight variations of those moves to keep it exciting: a leg lift there, a bite to the shoulder here, a strategically placed hand on the ass there. To get a little more advanced about technique, the legs on the shoulders variation of the missionary position (see: The Anvil) gets me where I need to go. Every. Single. Time. I turn my brain off and surrender to the feeling of being filled completely. It's deep, passionate, intimate, and my orgasm is typically a good seven strokes away (especially if that low moan/throaty whisper of “Oh fuck" comes at the right moment to further beckons me to come undone). That's why a classic is a classic. It's tried, true, and undoubtedly effective. Mmmm.
When I think of the female orgasm, particularly my experience with having trouble finding my own during sex, it is that Eighth World Wonder that men and women alike are oftentimes demystified by due to its elusive nature. There is no magical how-to book to help you find it, but there are tools and techniques to guide you along the right path to the female O. If you want to learn how to hit it from the back, check out my four favorite hit it from the back positions that are proven to promote and enhance your orgasm.
Baby, bend ova.
How To Hit It From The Back
1.Reverse Cowgirl
What it is:
A hybrid of the classic doggystyle position and the riding position (aka Woman on Top). Your partner lies flat on his back and you position yourself on top of him, but instead of facing him directly, your back is facing him while you lean forward, using his lower half for balance as you rock back and forth.
Why it's great:
It's very easy to hit your G-spot in this position. It's also great for guys who aren't as gifted in length and helps them feel bigger inside of you. As with most on top positions, you're able to take full control of the act, its rhythm, its speed, its angle, which again is a +++ for helping you achieve orgasm.
2.The Wheelbarrow
What it is:
As its title playfully implies, you are acting as the wheelbarrow in this position with your partner. If you've ever had sex in a standing position, the wheelbarrow is similar, but instead of using your legs for balance, your partner lifts you up by the hips while you grip your legs at his waist. Your partner enters you either anally or vaginally and controls the rhythm of the sex session, giving you the ride of your life.
Why it's great:
The depth of him paired with the dizzying feeling of being lightheaded gives you a new kind of thrill. For those who aren't as athletically inclined, there is a seated version that is the same position, with him seated on a bed or similar surface.
3.The Rear Admiral
Bad Girl's Bible
What it is:
Yet another standing position that incorporates the depth and dominant feel of doggy style positions. The Rear Admiral position involves both partners standing, the receiving partner in front of the giving partner. They will then enter you. You then bend over and will keep in sync with your partner's rhythm by them holding your hands back towards them as they thrust into you. You can either spread your legs or have them open, depending on which you two prefer.
Why it's great:
It's a great way to relinquish to your partner full control, which in and of itself can be a hot act. Having them hold your hands back while they pound you relentlessly is a hell of a feeling. And while they have control, the depth plus the rhythm is a great way to hit the spots you need to be hit, particularly the G.
4.The Leap Frog
soc.ucsb.edu
What it is:
A direct variation of the doggystyle position. While on your hands and knees, you raise your hips, and keep your head and arms on the bed for the duration of the sex act. Arch your back ladies, point those toes.
Why it's great:
As with all of these positions mentioned, the emphasis is being placed on creating deeper penetration and therefore giving more access to your G-spot and further beckoning your ability to orgasm. Another benefit is the fact that you can still access your clit to rev things up a bit in the pleasure department.
Featured image by Getty Images
- Best Positions For G-Spot Orgasms | POPSUGAR Love & Sex ›
- This sex position is most likely to make women orgasm ›
- Spice Up New Sex Position for Easier Orgasm | Glamour ›
- These Sex Positions Help Women Reach Orgasm | The Chicago ... ›
- Sex Positions for Women Who Don't Orgasm Easily - Men's Journal ›
- 12 Sex Positions That Really Hit 'The Spot' | CafeMom ›
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The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Temi and SkylarCj Hart @hartbreakToday, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
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What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak