In addition to getting to the bag, the girlies want to know how to get to the orgasm – the intense ones that make you feel like you have superpowers. The topic of women and orgasm is often discussed and it’s mostly because they don’t happen often when, in reality, they should be! However, many factors work against women including society’s centering on male pleasure and penis people with antiquated rhetoric that implies women are meant to provide pleasure – not to receive it.
And even when men don’t think about this we’ve spent so many centuries discussing male pleasure–from the biblical to the pornographic that even the most well-meaning men can’t or don’t know how to deliver. This is not to say that there aren’t men out there who have an attitude that says “girl, fuck you” but that there’s lots of wiggle room for learning. As is the case for anyone.
In the words of one of my favorite TikToks (yes, my ability to speak TikTok is now a prerequisite of writing): prepare to be sick of me. Why? Because I’m that girl, the one willing to talk to you until you’re blue in the face (and maybe elsewhere) on this subject matter. I want you and your partner to be able to read the room, and while communication will play a large role in that, so will knowledge which comes in various forms (communication included).
However, today – here and now – we asked 3 experts about the best ways to reach uber-intense orgasms with your partner. Here’s what they had to say.
Add More Clitoral Stimulation Before & During Penetration
“There are two major reasons why people with vulvas get the short end of the orgasm gap: penetration, especially intercourse, often doesn't stimulate the clitoris enough to help the person get to orgasm (the clit is the homolog to the penis and tends to be the center of sexual sensation for those who have one); and also, stimulation often doesn't go on long enough to help a person get to orgasm. This doesn't mean you should believe what you read in your spam–that a person with a penis needs to last all night. But, it does mean that the duration and focus of stimulation usually matters.
"So it will help to make sure the partner with the vulva is fully aroused when penetration intercourse begins. Often that is also sidelined--but what some call foreplay and I call arousal activities is what's missing in many couples' sex lives. Longer-duration intercourse can be great too–but only if the person being penetrated is fully turned on when it commences. Thrusting does not generally turn on a not-yet-turned-on person. It can even feel irritating, painful, or worse.
"From this, you may have noticed that I am advocating for high arousal. You pretty much cannot have amazing orgasms (or most orgasms) without it. From there, duration may make the orgasm even more amazing. But being turned on first is key. And of course, more clitoral stimulation (whether it is either partner adding pleasurable stimulation to the clit; oral sex; or playing with a vibrator before or during intercourse) are other ways to make this magic happen.” - Carol Queen, Ph.D., Good Vibrations Staff Sexologist
Experiment With Learning How to Have a Cervical Orgasm
"What you probably haven’t heard of is the cervical orgasm. But don’t fret, that’s only because there’s little research to confirm or deny its existence. The cervical orgasm concept is potentially authentic, but I personally question whether this is more of a whole-body experience that’s producing a releasing effect. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t there. The cervix is a donut-shaped portion of the uterus that’s made entirely of cartilage. Located at the lower end of the uterus, the cervix prevents whatever enters the vagina from going deeper than it should.
"The center of this inch-long tube is said to be highly sensitive. When stimulated, it produces a strong orgasmic reaction that runs through the body, though its power is entirely dependent on the individual. The issue with orgasms stemming from the cervix is that, unlike the vagina and clitoris, there aren’t many nerve endings in the area, which is why a cervical orgasm is actually the result of other nerves–like the clitoris–being stimulated. It’s quite possible that some women do have innervation or nerve conduction, and therefore experience sensation at the cervix or near the cervix. But it’s not a common place for women to report orgasmic responses.
"However, there is indeed a sacred or goddess spot located just under the cervix that promotes an ecstatic orgasmic response. The best way to encourage cervical orgasms is through deep penetration. And fret not, men with 'below-average penises,' because deep penetration can be achieved through toys as well. Because no one orgasm is alike, the best way to find out how deep penetration works for you is through regular experimentation. In this case, gauge which speed and depth feel best for your partner.
"Additionally, I recommend experimenting with cervical orgasm when the woman is already aroused, as the flood of chemicals makes the deep thrusting sensations feel more amazing than painful. I also believe the best odds at attaining a cervical orgasm is to attempt it during or close to ovulation as the cervix is lower and easier to reach. Do not continue if it’s painful. Instead, keep her aroused. Lube helps. Cervical orgasms are easiest to achieve when women are close to orgasm.
"But most of all, it’s important to note that you must be gentle when experimenting with the cervix as it is an entirely new sensation that can cause pain. Let her lead the way. This is for her benefit, after all.” - Dr. Mike Anderson, Ph.D., Sex & Relationship Expert
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Give the Body Ample Time To Be Efficiently Aroused
“It's true that a lot of women aren't reaching their full orgasmic potential. If a vagina owner is not efficiently aroused before starting penetration or clit stimulation, it’s not going to result in the orgasm of their fullest potential. Don't skip the build-up. It's a major factor that determines how intense your orgasm is. Get aroused, build it up to the heavens, and then get into direct stimulation! Edging might be a great way to reach intensified orgasm quickly or try simultaneous stimulation for an intense blended orgasm.
"It's all about arousal level and build-up time. To really get the most out of penetration or any kind of vulvic stimulation, you need to be efficiently aroused. Getting to that point may look different for everyone. But if you can spend ample time teasing, touching, or talking (whatever floats your boat), your orgasm will thank you. [When you] give your body time to respond to the stimulus the vulva and vagina will fill with blood making every touch that much more blissful.” - Lauren Johnson, co-founder of sexual wellness & sex education brand Berry Lemon
The one thing that stands out from each expert is that there are two keys when providing a more intense orgasm for your partner which require arousal and stimulation. Though each expert provided various ways to achieve a more intense orgasm, the recipe begins and ends with these two things. In my opinion, it translates to attentiveness – requiring selflessness and time – so do be sure that you’re able to provide your partner with these things when pleasure is on the table.
That's the tried and true recipe for a more intense orgasm with your partner.
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The show is exactly what you’d expect when you put a media pro and a sports legend together—a mix of real talk, unfiltered moments, and guest interviews that feel like family kickbacks. As the duo wraps up their first season, Rocsi sat down with xoNecole to talk about teaming up with Deion, the wildest moments on set, and why streaming platforms like Tubi are shaking up the talk show world.
Scoring the Gig & Clicking Instantly with Deion
Photo by Paras Griffin/Getty Images for Essence
Deion Sanders had been dreaming of hosting a talk show, and when Tubi came calling, it was only right he made it happen. But before he found the perfect co-host, he held auditions with different women for the spot.
Lucky for us, Rocsi threw her hat in the ring, and the connection was instant. “You just can’t buy chemistry like we have,” she tells us. “We are legit like big brother, little sister—fighting, cracking jokes, telling each other off. When you watch the show, it’s like watching family.”
Mixing News, Culture & Sports—Minus the Snooze
With We Got Time Today, Rocsi and Deion cover everything from the latest headlines to celebrity tea and, of course, sports. But instead of stiff, rehearsed segments, the show keeps it loose and unpredictable.
“We’re not breaking the mold—it’s not rocket science,” Rocsi jokes. “We just bring our own flair, our authenticity, and our personalities to it. Deion has firsthand experience in sports, so when we talk about athletes, he brings a different perspective.”
And the best part? Unlike traditional talk shows that rush through quick interviews, We Got Time Today actually takes its time. “A lot of shows might give you one or two segments with a guest,” Rocsi says. “With us, we actually sit down and have real-life conversations.”
Her Top Guests (So Far!)
From music icons to relationship experts, the show has already had some unforgettable guests—but a few stand out for Rocsi.
“Ice Cube was our first guest, and he’s just legendary,” she says. “Kirk Franklin had us cracking up when he broke into a full choir freestyle for our Christmas special. And anytime we get Dr. Bryant on to put Deion in the hot seat? That’s my favorite!”
And of course, there’s Nick Cannon. “Nick was amazing,” she adds. “You already know he’s going to bring the energy and say something wild.”
Tag-Team Hosting with Deion: The Inside Scoop
While Deion Sanders is best known for his football greatness, Rocsi says he’s also one of the funniest people she’s ever worked with.
“He’s goofy—like, really goofy,” she laughs. “A lot of people didn’t know that side of him, but now they do. He can crack a joke, and if you’re too sensitive, good luck, because he will go in. But the best part? I throw it right back at him! Sometimes we just look at each other like, ‘Okay, that was a good one.’”
But beyond the laughs, she admires his insane work ethic. “Watching him juggle everything he does is just super admirable,” she says.
How "We Got Time Today" Brings That "106 & Park" Energy
Photo by David Livingston/Getty Images
For those wondering if We Got Time Today feels like 106 & Park 2.0, Rocsi says it’s a whole different vibe.
“The only comparison I’d make is that it’s a destination for the culture,” she explains. “It’s a platform where our people can come, feel safe, and have real conversations. But other than that, this is Deion’s world—we’re just having fun in it.”
The Talk Show Shake-Up: Why This Show Hits Different
Unlike traditional networks, We Got Time Today lives exclusively on Tubi, proving that streaming platforms are changing how we watch talk shows.
“Tubi is giving more people opportunities and making content more accessible,” Rocsi says. “Deion is a huge Tubi fan—he literally loves Black cinema—so it just made sense for him. And honestly? He’s got me watching it too!”
Real Ones Only: Women Holding Each Other Down
Rocsi credits her best friend, Chantelle, for always keeping her grounded. “She kept pouring into me, reminding me of who I am,” she shares. Even Deion Sanders makes sure to give her flowers, often calling her “the hostess with the most.”
In the industry, she’s built lasting bonds with women like Julissa Bermundez, Angie Martinez, and Angela Yee. “Julissa and I still kick it—her house is basically Sephora, so I just shop there,” she jokes. She also cherishes her friendships with Melyssa Ford and Robin Roberts, who have offered unwavering support. “Robin has always been there for me,” Rocsi says, reflecting on the wisdom she’s gained from the legendary journalist.
With the show’s first season wrapping up, Rocsi is grateful for the experience and excited for what’s next. “We’re having a good time, and the audience can feel that,” she says.
And if you haven’t tuned in yet? Well, Rocsi and Deion got time—so you might as well make some too.
Catch We Got Time Today now streaming on Tubi!
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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