Women are always being told what it means to be beautiful, and there's no difference when it comes to sexual prowess. My struggle with sexual confidence as a BBW came when I tried to reconcile societal pressures of beauty with how I see myself. I had to reevaluate my idea of self-worth and confidence. In doing so, I realized some of my beliefs about being a woman, in particular a BBW, were rooted in what others thought of me. This kept me from enjoying intimate moments but also from reaching the peak of arousal. That's right the Big O!
The first time I had sex with someone half my size, it was so awkward. I can remember taking my pants off but keeping my shirt on and the lights off. I lied there and tried to enjoy the moment but I kept thinking about what he could see of my body and what he thought of what he saw. It took me some time to really start enjoying the fullness of my body and to understand my strength came from embracing all of me.
It all clicked when I started embracing my wants and needs in the bedroom. I stopped allowing my fears of self to hinder me from enjoying sexual bliss. When this happened, I started voicing my needs and allowing the pleasure of those moments to waft over me. These days, I'm coaching my partners and hitting every high note in the bedroom like Mariah Carey in her heyday.
Below are some tips I cultivated along the way in my quest to have the best sex as a BBW:
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Now, when you go to the hair store you are inundated with all kinds of hair textures, colors, and more. That’s why it was so upsetting to read the latest report about synthetic braiding hair.
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A Feb 27 Consumer Reports article revealed that most popular synthetic hair brands that are used for braiding have dangerous chemicals such as carcinogens, lead and volatile organic compounds (VOCs). The report stated that 10 of the brands were tested and all 10 had these chemicals. These brands included Shake-N-Go, Sassy Collection, and Sensationnel.
These chemicals include benzene, which is a carcinogen that has been linked to acute myeloid leukemia and unsafe levels of lead, which can cause kidney damage, brain damage, and cardiovascular problems in adults.
In children, it can cause brain and nervous system damage, learning disabilities, behavioral problems and even developmental delays.
James E. Rogers, PhD, director and head of product safety testing led the testing for synthetic braiding hair. “Our exposure and risk analysis found all nine products could expose a regular user of any of these products to a level of lead that could be concerning over time,” he said.
As shocking as this is, it also brought some clarity around why I’ve had issues with wearing braiding hair as of late.
Not only have I dealt with scalp irritation, I’ve even had breakouts on my back from the hair touching. Since then, I’ve started rinsing the hair with apple cider vinegar, and haven’t had that many issues. However, the report stated that ACV isn’t a “cure-all” and can potentially release harmful chemicals when rinsing the hair.
@javonford16 Replying to @Julianna Rebundle vid: @Javon Ford Beauty #blackhairstyles #braidinghair #blackgirlhairstyles @Consumer Reports
While the report sparked some outrage, chemist Javon Ford has a different view. In a TikTok video, he shared that the report was tested for oral exposure and not dermal exposure.
He showed a screenshot of an email he allegedly sent Consumer Reports questioning their decision to test this way. The email said, “the best model to use, in our view, is the ingestion model for the reasons given in the article.”
“While I understand they went with that model, I don’t agree with it because you’re not intentionally ingesting braids,” Javon said. The chemist also said that the amount of chemicals found in the brands is “conservative” compared to other types of products.
So what does this mean for us braid-wearers? If you still want to wear braids, but have some concerns, you can limit how often you wear them. Another option is wearing non-toxic braiding hair or plant-based hair. The only downside is that it's pricier than synthetic hair.
The Consumer Report also suggested checking for recalls, reading labels carefully, and reporting adverse effects. Hair isn’t regulated by the Food and Drug Administration, so it’s best to do your research when making purchases.
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