

If there are two things that I write about on the regular and, at the same time, continue to be amazed that there are more "versions" to unfold, it's dating trends and types of orgasms. Today's article is evidence that the longer I live—and research—the more stuff I am able to find. As if orgasms weren't already mind-blowing enough, did you know that there is such a thing as a super orgasm? Super. Orgasm. Have. Mercy.
And just what exactly is a super orgasm, pray tell? I promise that y'all ain't even ready. A super orgasm is when—brace yourselves, now—someone is able to climax anywhere between 12-100 times…in a row! While this was once perceived as being about as rare as a rainbow unicorn or Bigfoot sighting, a documentary has revealed that scientists are now discovering that women who have these actually do exist. That's not all—they also believe that there are tools that all of us can apply in order to have a super orgasm too. And just what does a sista have to do in order to experience this freaky freak of nature? Here's what my research revealed.
The Six Things You Need in Order to Have a Super Orgasm
1. A Boost of Oxytocin
When it comes to super orgasms, one thing that several scientists discovered was the women who had them had a heightened level of oxytocin in their system. Oxytocin is simply a hormone and neurotransmitter in our body that naturally produces good feelings and makes us want to get closer to our partner. It can be triggered while cuddling, kissing and definitely during sex. Although the women in the study naturally had more oxytocin running through their veins, there are actually things you can do to give your oxytocin levels a boost. You can get more of the vitamins C, D and magnesium into your system. You can drink a little more java (yep, caffeine increases oxytocin). If coffee ain't your thing, you can drink some chamomile tea. You can also apply some jasmine or clary sage essential oil to your pressure points. All of these are proven ways to give yourself a natural oxytocin boost.
2. A Yoga Class
You can read articles on our site like "Energize Your Mornings With These Simple Yoga Poses", "8 Yoga Tips Every Beginner Yogi Should Know" and "The Unexpected Lessons Yoga Taught Me About Life" to see that we are pretty big fans of yoga. That's because it does things like reduce stress, increase flexibility, improve muscle tone, teach the correct way to deep breathe and strengthen the heart. But did you also know that there are some sexual perks that come from this form of exercise and meditation too? In fact, there was once a study conducted on 40 women who vouched for the fact that a 12-week yoga class significantly improved their sex life, including their sexual satisfaction. That's because yoga also teaches you how to listen to your body and be present in the moment as it heightens your sense of awareness. Poses like the Cat Pose (which relaxes your spine), the Bridge Pose (which strengthens your pelvic floor), and the One-Legged Pigeon (which stretches and opens up your hips) are just some of the ways that you can get your mind and body prepared for your very first super orgasm. Give it a try. Report in the comments if any of these intensified things for you.
3. A Relaxed State of Mind
It's kind of crazy how many of us are chronic overthinkers, when I can't think of one single area where being in that mindset is beneficial; this includes when it comes to bedroom action. If you're someone who doesn't orgasm nearly as much as you'd like to, it very well be because you are thinking too much about it—both before and during the act.
Instead, ask your partner to give you a massage. Turn on some soft music. Dim the lights. Have some wine. CHILL OUT. Remember, your brain is the biggest sexual organ that you have. This means that the more relaxed it is, the easier it will be for your body to follow suit.
4. A Ton of Foreplay
While once reading an article on WebMD's website about the benefits of foreplay, there are two things the writer said that I totally agree with, especially when it comes to women. One, foreplay prepares our mind and body for sex. Two, foreplay makes sex a much more comfortable experience for us ladies. That's because, the more aroused we are, the wetter we become, and the easier it is to be penetrated—deeply and often. From what I've read, in order to achieve a super orgasm, it's important to take the marathon route when it comes to foreplay. Meaning, while a woman, on average, needs somewhere between 15-20 minutes in order to have an orgasm, foreplay needs to be extended to around 30 minutes or so in order for a super orgasm to occur. The key is to do whatever gets you all hot 'n bothered without allowing yourself to climax in the process. It's basically like edging without the penetration. I get it, it might seem like long sessions of "fun torture" at first, but once the orgasms get going, it will be well worth the wait and self-discipline.
5. A Partner with a Long Penis
OK, sooo—when it comes to this one, sometimes you've got to work with what you've got; and sometimes what you've got is not a man with a long penis. The good news is, since most of our most sensitive nerve endings are two inches from the entry of our vagina, a dude who is "packin'" is not required in order to be sexually satisfied. Still, that doesn't change the fact that researchers did discover that the deeper penetration a woman receives, the more likely that she'll be able to have a super orgasm. And the fastest way to make that happen is with a man who has a long penis. If your guy doesn't exactly fit this bill, y'all can always fake it until you make it by trying some of the sex positions for the "less longer" that I found here and here.
6. Quality Time
The last tip for achieving a super orgasm is something that could've easily gone on the top of the list—you need to spend some quality time with your partner. I don't mean the foreplay moments that transpire right before gettin' it in. I mean—going on dates, talking throughout the day, doing things that make you both feel loved, seen, heard and safe.
When two individuals are in this kind of head space, that makes it easier for them to trust one another. And when the combination of desire and trust are present, the sky truly is the limit! You are pretty much down to do whatever in order to make one another feel as mind-blown and satisfied as possible.
Is this all that you need in order to climax a series of times? That's what my research said. And you know what? All of this has brought me to the conclusion that having a super orgasm is not really about mastering a particular technique. It's about being in a tranquil state, thoroughly enjoying your partner and remaining in each and every sexual moment until you transition into the next one. Shoot, if you do those three things, how could you not have some really intense orgasms—or at least a helluva lot of fun tryin' to?
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
This Is How You Master The Female Orgasm
10 Things You Didn't Know About The Male And Female Orgasm
How To Orgasm With Your Partner At The Same Time
Blended Orgasms Need To Be The Next To-Do On Your Sexual Hit List
Feature image by Giphy
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Love Is The Muse: How Skylar And Temi Built A Creative Life Together
When Temitope Ibisanmi DM’d the word “muse” to Skylar Marshai, he knew he was shooting his romantic shot. He didn’t realize, however, that he was connecting with his future business and creative partner, too.
“I was the boyfriend,” Temi says. “Everybody out there knows, you’re the cameraman at that point.”
Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Today, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak
The ChatGPT Prompts That Got Me Through A Career & Life Transition
Oftentimes when we hear about ChatGPT prompts, there's always some sort of business pitch, entrepreneurship push, or other shortcut connected to money-making. (Well, at least that's been the annoying case with my Instagram feed.) It's undeniable, though, that ChatGPT prompts can be game-changers, even beyond business plans or revenue schemes.
For me, creating and using my own ChatGPT prompts has been more about self-motivation, self-development and inspiration, especially at a tough time of career transitions and personal shifts. And as cray-cray as things seem in the U.S., especially related to one's livelihood, future financial stability, and overall mental health, I decided to take back a bit of my power using a great AI resource that you'll literally wonder how the hell it knows you so well to even answer your prompts so accurately.
Here are a few ChatGPT prompts that have been super-helpful and empowering related to career and finances. Simply visit OpenAi.com/Index/ChatGPT (or use the app of your choice), copy and paste the prompts, and be sure to fill in the blanks before submitting them:
The "Level Up" Prompt
Write an encouraging letter to a Black [your age]-year-old woman who is a [occupation] and wants to level up in her career. She lives in [city and/or state], earns [your yearly salary], and wants to be able to [career passion 1], [career passion 2], [career passion 3] during her work day. She also wants to earn [your dream salary] and work from [office/home/dream place of business] but feels challenged by [briefly state challenge here in 3-4 words.]
I swear ChatGPT got me all the way together, reminded me of the amazing experienced journalist, editor, and speaker that I am, and gave quick tips on how to take things to the next level that are actually doable.
The "Get My Credit Card Debt In Check" Prompt
Write a detailed plan, with categories, for a woman in her [age group] who is a [occupation] earning [your yearly salary]. She wants to cut at least 50 percent of her current credit card debt of [card balance] with an APR of [percentage]. Her minimum payment is [amount] and she'd like to cut down in [days/months/years]. Her expenses include [list] along with non-negotiable spending on [leisure/travel/fitness/wellness or other activity].
From here, it can also create spreadsheets or you can request that it get more specific with each category. You can also request that the plan be adjusted based on the first response and whether it truly fits something you can realistically do. Add more specific details based on your life, the unique challenges you face, or other options you have in mind knowing what you're capable of or you're realistically interested in doing to pay off a debt.
The "Retire Early" Prompt
Write a step-by-step early retirement plan for a woman age [your age]. She has [time in years] of experience in [industry] and has been working for her current company for [how many years]. She also currently earns [amount] per year. She lives in [city and/or state], [rents/owns], and has [amount] in savings. She also has [amount] in her 401K [or Roth IRA---whichever is relevant to your situation.] She currently has [amount] in her checking account(s). [Add any other details about your earnings including side hustles, businesses, freelance work, settlements, lottery, rental income, or other funds you have access to.] She has [amount] in unpaid debt. She'd like to retire by [age; and be reasonable sis] and live in [city and state/country].
While early retirement might seem like a pipe dream to some of us, a prompt like this lets you know that it's more possible than you think. It's also something great to take to a financial adviser so you can sift through what's actually doable (based on real-life scenarios) and what's not.
The "Career Pivot" Prompt
Write a plan for a woman who works as a [occupation] and wants to pivot into earning money doing [new career or career activity]. She is passionate about [activity or goal] to serve [potential audience/client/customer]. She wants to transition out of [current career] to earn [amount] doing [new career or career activity] by [time/date] and earn [dream income that you'd make doing the new career activity]. Include steps and categories. Include a timeline to achieve this by [date].
This is a helpful prompt when you feel stuck in your current role (or even your career altogether) and simply need inspiration on what could be the perfect pivot. You can update this to include different career activities or scenarios, add company names or brands, and even ask for pitches or ways to brand yourself online to achieve this goal.
The "Faith-Filled Career Confidence Booster" Prompt
Write a letter from God to a woman who is feeling like she is behind in life. She feels lost and scared, especially with everything that is going on in the U.S. right now, politically and economically. She is [age], works as a [occupation], and lives in [city/state]. She has [educational degrees or training], loves [three passions/hobbies/favorite activities], and has [mention family, spouse, children, or other loved one, even if a pet here.] She is [mention three things you like about yourself including one about your appearance]. She wants to achieve [list two small but important goals here that are related to personal and/or professional life]. She has faced [list any major and specific challenges, briefly, here] and does not know how she will handle these challenges. Include [Bible verses] of encouragement to study.
This prompt had me in tears, but it reminded me of my Biblical upbringing and my foundation for success and motivation. It also reminded me to get stronger in my faith, to read my Bible a bit more, and to stop allowing doom and gloom to inform my approach to problem-solving.
The "Talk That Career Ish" Prompt
Write a letter from the perspective of a football [or sport of your choice] coach for a woman aged [age] who works as the best [occupation] in [city, state]. She has accomplished [list 3-5 highlights of your career, whether past or recent] and is a leader in [relevant business or career activities that reflect leadership, whether you've accomplished these things or they're aspirational]. She brings the following skills to the work with her: [list 2-5] and she is proud of [aspirational career goal of you at your highest career self.]
Add in the name of your favorite coach and this gets even better! (I used Deion Sanders, but choose who you want.) You'll not only get hyped up to remember the fabulous bad boss you are, but you'll also get tips on how to be even more successful in the future.
Try any of these prompts and use them as stepping stones to prompt positive thinking, further conversations for financial and career planning, or just a fun and potentially constructive distraction from all the mess that's going on. Dig deeper and request more specific steps, inclusions of actual resources like books, conferences, or course recommendations, or create images, vision boards, or graphs. Add in specifics that will help you remain accountable in planning to meet a specific financial or career goal.
Also, this is a big one: Be sure to remember that ChatGPT is simply a tool. It's neither a genie nor the Almighty. You'll need to fact-check, use common sense, and adjust any sort of plans based on your actual reality. Try out these ChatGPT prompts as springboards for sparking imagination, motivation, and innovation.
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Featured image by Getty Images