

Something that I really love about my inner circle is, I can't think of one person in it who, not only knows what their purpose in life is but, they are totally thriving in it! As I shared in the article "5 Signs You Are Living Your True Purpose", they feel connected to the Giver of their purpose (God—Psalm 20:4); they are truly creative (inventive, original, productive); they use the gifts and talents that come to them naturally on a consistent basis; their purpose is not only benefiting them but many around them, and most of their days are good ones because they are purpose-minded and purpose-driven.
The only thing is, when you are this kind of individual, you either have the tendency to run yourself totally into the ground (even God rested on the seventh day, y'all…geeze) or you have moments when you are totally uninspired. No ideas come to you. If you're any kind of writer, you feel like you've come down with a bad case of writer's block. You're moody, irritable and can't really sleep. For days on end, you feel like you and your purpose are not in sync; it's basically like the two of you are only going through the motions.
If this is something you can relate to and it's driving you totally up the wall because, when you feel disconnected from your purpose on any level, there is a huge void—trust me, I totally get it. I also wouldn't worry too much about it. Sounds to me like you've got a little bit of what I call "purpose fatigue". You love your calling but, at the same time, you're feeling a little weary and drained about it.
It really is an uncomfortable feeling (again, I would know). But the good news is it's a season that will pass and there are some I've-tried-it-before-and-it-works ways to get through it.
Get to the Root of What’s Causing It
I would venture to say that a part of the reason why a lot of us can't find solutions for certain things in life is because we don't really know what the problem is in the first place. When it comes to something like purpose fatigue, while you may know that you're worn out, you might not be able to articulate exactly what got you there.
So, lie down on your bed, put on some 90s R&B (the slow stuff) and think about it. Is it because you're feeling overwhelmed? Is it because you're burning the candle at both ends? Is it because you're doing a lot of sowing without seeing much reaping? Is it because you don't feel supported? Maybe it's because no matter what you do, you feel stuck or you know that you're in your purpose but you're still struggling to make ends meet.
Or, maybe you just need to accept the reality of what artist John Mayer said in a recent interview with Complex—" Nobody can be a good pilot of their behavior and their creativity endlessly, successfully...You just can't be at the center of your own behavior as the creative director of all your thoughts without saying, 'I'm gonna come to the end of a winning streak here.' You have to get off the field for a minute and take a break and watch the world go by." So that you can recenter your focus and recharge yourself.
For each of these issues, there's a different plan of action that needs to be made. But do you see how, by knowing what exactly is wearing you out, you gain a greater sense of clarity on what you should do—and not do—next?
Avoid Overthinking
I have a client who, more times than not, after we get off of the phone, I have to take a nap. It's not because of their "issues"; it's because they are Olympians when it comes to overthinking. So much to the extent that their thoughts end up superseding the challenges that they have (i.e., making them so much worse).
One day, I'm going to write an entire piece on why overthinking is the ultimate no-no. For now,Inc. has a great piece with studies about how overthinking increases your chances of having a mental illness, totally disrupts your problem-solving abilities and totally jacks up your sleep (more on that in just a bit).
It's kind of common that when we're experiencing purpose fatigue, we're tempted to go down the rabbit holes of "Am I doing the right thing?", "I can't afford to take a break" or "Maybe I've been wrong about this all along", but all that's going to do is make mountains out of molehills. No one makes the best decisions when they're weary. The last thing your brain needs is you to put more stress onto it than it already has. Overthinking will do just that. So…stop.
Have a Change of Scenery

What should you do instead of putting your brain into overdrive? Take a day, weekend or week (if you can) to get as far away from anywhere where you work on your purpose a lot, whether that's your office (including home office), your devices or even your bedroom (you do know that bedrooms should only be reserved for sex and sleep, right? Google it sometime). Not only does a change of scenery give you the opportunity to relax, it actually works for, not against, you getting your purpose mojo back (check out "10 Reasons Changing Your Landscape Can Boost Creativity", "Why a Change of Scenery Is More Important Than You Think" and "Can a Change of Scenery Improve Your Productivity?").
Although taking a vacation would be awesome and ideal, I can speak from personal experience and say that just getting a hotel room for a night, sleeping in your girlfriend's guest room or hanging out in a movie theatre for a day with your phone turned off can make you feel like a new woman.
The same scenery can get boring after a while and boredom can be draining too. Changing your scenery could easily change your life, or at least this season of your life. Don't knock it until you've tried it.
Do Something That Inspires You

When it comes to purpose fatigue, this is a point that a lot of us miss because, if you're like me and you're in love with walking in your purpose, it can be challenging to be intentional about finding other sources of inspiration. For me, when I've had enough of keystrokes, I'll read a book by another author. When I am like, "I can't listen to one more married person's problems", I'll bless a couple with a hotel or B&B stay (if you happen to be a married person reading this, hit me up at shellie@xonecole.com; you never know if you might be next).
Inspiration is all about being influenced in a productive way and doing what makes you feel exhilarated; it's about doing something that reminds you of why you're operating in your purpose to begin with. What arouses you, what excites you, what even reassures you—whether that's volunteering somewhere, going to a concert or hanging out with positive people, make sure you do that. Inspiration is one of the best remedies for purpose fatigue.
Don’t Compare Yourself to Others

Envy has always been and will always be a temptation for us humans (check out "How to Stop Envying Your Favorite Celeb's Life"); but thanks—or, in this case, no thanks—to social media, it's almost impossible to not look at how someone else is movin' and shakin' when it comes to their purpose or passion and not envy them or, at the very least, compare where you are to where they are. In fact, I'm willing to bet good money that this is one of the leading causes of purpose fatigue.
If this is what has you so worn out, what's important to remember is it is super-counterproductive to compare your purpose—including the progress that you're making in it—to someone else's. Why? By definition, your purpose is the reason why you exist. It's connected to your own personality, your own gifts and talents, your own perspective, your own experiences, your own drive and ambition. Just because someone appears to be farther down the road, that doesn't mean they are "better" than you or that you have anything to be ashamed of. It simply means that they are doing them, just like you should be doing you.
Constantly comparing yourself will have you out here never fulfilling your purpose. If anything should "wear you out", it's letting the reality of what I just said really sink in.
Write Your Purpose a Love Letter
Mark Twain once said, "The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why." Again, your purpose, by definition, is "the reason for which something exists or is done, made, used, etc." If you know the very reason for why the Most High has placed you on this planet, you are more self-aware than a lot of folks (#facts). Take that awareness and write it a letter of love.
What do I mean by that? Take out an hour one day and literally talk to your purpose like it's the greatest love of your life. Tell it what draws you to it, what you appreciate about it, what you are willing to do for it and just how committed, until death, to it that you are. Then get it professionally printed and matted and hang it up in your bedroom or home office. In many ways, just like a marriage, you need to remind yourself why you are "in this thing" with your purpose to begin with. So that you can get back up and keep going.
Celebrate Your Progress
I have to admit that I have a pretty bad habit of setting a goal, reaching it and immediately moving on to what's next without taking the time to celebrate what I already accomplished. The reason why this can also lead to purpose fatigue is because if you're fully functioning in your purpose, there is always going to be something to do, goals to reach, higher levels to take on. No one is created to go constantly without taking some breaks along the way. Something that can relax you and refuel you is making the time to pat your own self on the back for the things that you've (already) done.
It's not cocky; it's self-acknowledgement. It's recognizing that you're doing what God put you here to do. If anything is worth commemorating, sis, it's that.
GET SOME SLEEP
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, one-third of us don't get enough sleep. How much sleep is that? No less than seven hours, each and every night. Those of us who know our purpose and are extremely ambitious also know that we probably fall into this statistic. That ain't good either because sleep deprivation causes all kinds of drama and problems—irritability, anxiety, stress, lack of concentration, disorientation, hunger, weight again…and that's just the tip of the iceberg!
A contributor to this site recently wrote "'Team No Sleep' Is a Ridiculous Concept" and she's right. Not only that, but if you know you're not catching enough z-z-z's, there's a huge possibility that you're not purpose fatigued; you're physically fatigued. If that is the case, apply "10 Simple & Effective Ways to Improve Your Quality of Sleep" to your life for a week and then see how you feel.
I wouldn't be surprised in the least if after a few consecutive nights of rest, you'll look up and realize that this article may not have applied to you as much as you initially thought—and that you should bookmark it for another time. And season. All good. It'll be here.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
This Career Coach Gave Up A $103K Salary To Live In Her Purpose
5 Signs You Are Living Your True Purpose
Letting Go Of Perfection Helped Me Live My Purpose
This Former Stylist Quit Her Job To Follow Her Purpose Of Helping Homeless Women On Their Periods
It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Your April 2025 Horoscopes Are All About Softening Into Love & Speaking Your Truth
April is a month to slow down and to fully grasp what has been. The month starts in fiery Aries Season, but we are also in the thick of Retrograde Season as we begin the month as well. Thankfully, Mercury finally goes direct on April 7, after being retrograde mid-March, and communication matters are clearing up. This is a month of mental clarity, a fresh start, and not being afraid to dream a little bigger.
On April 12, there is a Full Moon in Libra, and this Full Moon brings relationship and financial matters full circle. This is the time to let go of what doesn’t make you feel balanced or in harmony and to create space for more peace to enter your life. Venus goes direct in Pisces on the same day, after being retrograde since March 1, and love is healing. With Venus now direct, there are more opportunities for commitment and longevity in love, and there is overall a greater feeling of romance, receptivity, and compassion in the air now.
Mercury enters Aries from April 16 until May 10, and what you were trying to see through or understand better while Mercury was retrograde here last month, you are experiencing a breakthrough now. Mercury in Aries is insightful and courageous, and people are more likely to speak their minds and initiate conversation with this energy. Mars then enters Leo from April 18 until June 17, reminding us that sometimes it’s okay to be a little more selfish and to focus on what you need right now. Mars in Leo brings forth confidence, creativity, and passion, and brings an exciting energy to charge of your life and advocate for yourself.
Taurus Season officially begins on April 19, bringing some earth sign energy into the mix, grounding and nurturing what you are creating in your life right now. On April 27, we have a New Moon in Taurus, and this is an abundant and fruitful New Moon. This is one of the best New Moons of the year for you to set your intentions for your financial world and a time for seeing new opportunities for abundance. On the last day of the month, Venus moves into Aries until June 6th, and love requires a little more passion, independence, and excitement during this time.
Overall, April is a month of feeling things through, taking more intuitive risks, investing in yourself, and balancing your needs with the needs of your relationships.
Read for your sun and rising sign below to see what April has in store for you.
ARIES
April is your month to shine, Aries. With the chaos of March now over, you are starting to see the progress of where life is and how everything has turned out even better than you were expecting. The month begins with the Sun in your 1st house of self, and you are feeling more confident, courageous, and in tune with yourself. With a Full Moon in your sister sign on April 12, relationships are also coming full circle for you now, and you are claiming your peace this month.
Mercury finally goes direct on April 7 and then enters your sign from April 16 to May 10, and this is going to clear up any miscommunications that you have been through. With Mercury now in your sign, your conversations are lively, your mind is inspiring, and you are thinking one step ahead. Before the month ends, Venus enters your sign from April 30 to June 6, and love is also moving forward for you now. Overall, this is a month where you are experiencing some happy outcomes and loyal support.
TAURUS
April is a month of passion and purpose, Taurus. You are living in your abundance, and are focused on valuing yourself and the things you are bringing to fruition right now. Venus, your ruling planet, goes direct on March 12 after being retrograde in your financial house since March 1, and you are moving into the month experiencing more opportunities and also feeling more respected in what you are accumulating for yourself and standing your ground on.
Taurus Season officially begins on April 19, and it’s all about you right now. This Taurus Season is smoothing things out for you in love, with new relationship developments unfolding and life flourishing for you. The New Moon this month is in your sign on April 27, it’s time for a new beginning. You are truly embracing your strength in April, making things happen for yourself, and no longer doubting your future and what is possible for you.
GEMINI
This month is all about the options becoming available to you now, Gemini. With your ruling planet Mercury going direct at the beginning of the month on April 7, you no longer feel as held back or out of place as you may have in the past weeks. With Mercury now direct, your thinking is clearer, and you are seeing the opportunities in your career and professional world that you may have missed before.
The more you can embrace your authenticity, the less time you will spend doubting how others perceive you, remember that this month.
On April 12, there is a Full Moon in Libra, highlighting the romance in your life and bringing forth understanding and compassion within your close relationships. You are letting go of old attachments or self-doubts that haven’t been serving your love life, and are growing closer to your own heart in the process. Before April comes to an end, Mars enters your 3rd house of communication, and you are overall leaving the month focused on your progress, your vision, and taking up space because you deserve to.
CANCER
This month is all about balancing your time and energy wisely, Cancer. You are being reminded not to overwork or overwhelm yourself in April, and to focus on doing the things that are within your control right now. The Sun is in your 10th house of career for most of the month so you are feeling really passionate about the things you are developing in your life right now, but it’s all about finding the right balance between your personal goals and your needs in your relationships as well.
The Full Moon in Libra on April 12 will be a time to devote your energy to self-care, close loved ones, and overall getting some time to decompress. You are ready to let go of the things that don’t make you feel safe or nurtured and are receiving an emotional renewal right now. The New Moon in Taurus at the end of the month is a time to focus on your intentions on your community, friendships, and aspirations in life, and to pay attention to where you can create more abundance here.
LEO
Things are turning around for you for the better, Leo. April is a dynamic month, and you are owning your inner alchemist. With a Full Moon in your 3rd house of communication on April 12, you are getting the messages you have been looking for and the mental clarity you have found is bringing closure to some of your close relationships. This month is about being flexible and trusting the changes that are happening for you right now.
On April 18, Mars enters your sign until June 17, and this is huge for you. You began the year with Mars retrograde in your sign, so you are getting the opportunity now, to rewrite some of the things that weren’t working for you at the beginning of the year. You are overcoming previous obstacles, and experiencing a breakthrough in your life this month. Before April ends, there is a New Moon in Taurus, highlighting your career, reputation, and professional life. This is a good New Moon to set your intentions for what goals you want to come to fruition for you now.
VIRGO
This month is all about building new foundations in your life, Virgo. You are feeling more supported and in tune with your own inner needs and interests, and it’s bringing you closer to people and systems that resonate. Your ruling planet Mercury goes direct this month on April 7 after being retrograde for the past few weeks; bringing more clarity, understanding, and compassion to your partnerships in life. You are focused on love this month and are working together with others to make your dreams come true.
Mid-month, Mars moves into your 12th house of closure and endings, and there is a journey of healing that you experience until June 17. You are motivated to understand yourself better and are looking at the past more right now in order to do so. This is a month of recovering and healing from what has been, for new foundations to be built upon. The New Moon on April 27 is a beautiful way to end the month, as you are getting glimpses of a new, abundant, adventure that is ahead of you.
LIBRA
This is a big month of closure for you, Libra. The Sun is in your 7th house of love for most of April, and your heart is in the right place. With Venus, your ruling planet, going direct on April 12 after being retrograde since March 1, you are finally able to take a breath. You are not experiencing as many obstacles when it comes to communication matters and you are feeling like you have the tools you need to move forward right now.
The Full Moon of the month is in your sign on April 12, and you are ready to let go of what isn’t working for you. You have been through a lot recently and have gained the clarity you need to let go of old attachments. Venus moves into your house of love before the month ends, and you are leaving the month feeling more in tune with where things are moving forward for you, rather than what you are leaving behind. Your heart moves through a journey in April, and your emotions are showing you a lot.
SCORPIO
April is a month of success, progress, and dreams coming to fruition, Scorpio. You are focused on your health, your priorities, and creating space for the new beginnings that you are creating in your life right now. The Full Moon mid-month is a big closure moment for you, and you are owning the fact that you have healed and you are no longer the same person you were in the past. This is a month of stepping into your power and feeling supported in doing so.
Mid-month, Mars enters your 10th house of career and public life and you are shining within your purpose. Over the next month and a half, you are going to be gaining some new opportunities that will be serving your professional life and goals. This is the month to show up and to let your skills, talents, and authenticity shine. On April 17, there is a New Moon in your opposite sign, Taurus, and you are leaving the month with some pleasant surprises in store for you in love as well.
SAGITTARIUS
April is a new beginning for you, Sagittarius. You are focused on putting the action and effort behind your goals, and you are being proactive within the opportunities that you are looking for right now. With a Full Moon in your 11th house of aspirations mid-month, you are letting go of the way you thought things would play out for you and are owning a more abundant version of things.
On April 27, there is a New Moon in Taurus, which will be highlighting your health and what your body needs more of right now. This is a New Moon to set your intentions for your everyday life and to create a new, beneficial routine that will make things easier for you at the end of the day. Before the month ends, Venus enters your 9th house of adventure, and you are leaving the month with your sights set high. Travel plans are likely, and this is a good time to create some new plans for yourself.
CAPRICORN
April is about putting one step in front of the other with patience and dedication and trusting the decisions you are making for yourself right now, Capricorn. The Sun is in your 4th house for most of the month, and you are yearning for your safe spaces, comfort foods, and loyal people. Giving yourself more time to decompress, take care of yourself, and ground your energy is essential this month.
Mars enters your 8th house of transformation mid-month and will be fueling your need for some change, excitement, and emotional rejuvenation over the next month and a half. You are entering an impactful moment of the year for you, and you are motivated toward change right now. The New Moon at the end of the month is in a fellow earth sign, highlighting the romantic new beginnings you are entering now. Overall, this month is a process, and you are opening new doors while finding gratitude in what is here for you now.
AQUARIUS
April is about giving yourself time to process, accept, and gain a new perspective, Aquarius. You are being guided towards friendship, connection, and community, and are understanding what may be creating the discord in your life that has been distancing you from that. The Full Moon this month is happening in Libra on April 12, and you are ready to let go of feeling like you have to do it all at once or all alone. This month is a reminder to take your time with all the experiences you want to have, trusting that they will come to fruition for you.
Mars enters your house of love and partnership on April 18, and you enter a passionate and steamy time. Romance is in the air for you as you move through the month, and you are spending more of your time with those who you want to move forward with. Venus also moves into a relationship area of your chart before April ends, and you are surrounded by love and community. Overall, this month is showing you that you are not alone and you don’t have to go through the heavy stuff alone either.
PISCES
This is a month where your heart is shining, and you are feeling in tune with the progress you have made in your life and within your relationships, Pisces. You are owning your value, your worth, and the beauty of who you are, and are ready to leave the past behind. With Mercury and Venus both going direct in Pisces this month after being retrograde in your sign for the past few weeks, you are in a better space than you have been, and there are fewer obstacles and miscommunications in your life.
You have been through a journey of understanding yourself better through your goals, perspectives, and interests, and have been committing yourself to your authenticity. On April 27, there is a New Moon in Taurus happening, and this New Moon is a good time for communication matters, getting your message across, and for your creative pursuits. With the clarity you feel within your mind and heart right now, you are making a lot of progress in April and feeling pleased with where life is headed.
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‘I Am Done With The Trauma’: Samira Wiley Won’t Be Returning For 'The Handmaid’s Tale' Sequel
Don’t judge me, but, last month, I watched The Handmaid’s Tale for the first time. And I was immediately hooked. I binged all five seasons just in time for the sixth and final season, which premiered on April 8.
If you’re not familiar with the Hulu drama, long story short, it’s a dystopian series based on a novel with the same name that is set in Gilead, formerly a part of the United States.
Due to environmental hazards, which are affecting the birth rate, a new regime takes over, forcing the remaining fertile women into sexual servitude in an effort to repopulate the earth.
The series stars Elizabeth Moss as June and her onscreen bestie Moira, played by Samira Wiley. It was recently announced that the Emmy award-winning series will have a spin-off, The Testaments, which takes place 15 years after The Handmaid’s Tale events.
During the season 6 premiere party, Parade caught up with Wiley about the sequel, but the actress let it be known that she will not be returning.
“I'm not gonna tease and say maybe or nothing. Nope,” Wiley said. “I am done with it. I am done with the trauma. I am. I mean it. Margaret Atwood, the way she writes these characters, the depth to all of it, I feel like I have played my part and my story is done.”
I understand why she feels that way. As a viewer, some of the scenes are pretty tough to watch, so I can only imagine what it's like to be in the scene. However, we finally get to see Wiley’s character come out on the other side of it.
The Orange is the New Black star also shared how she turned to different wellness practices to make sure her mental health was intact during filming.
“I had to learn some techniques — meditation and mindfulness and all of those things — to consciously take myself out of the world of Gilead,” she said. “I often tell people who binge watch the show like, please take care of your mental health.”
The final season shows the characters pulling together to take down Gilead. The first three episodes of The Handmaid’s Tale sixth season are now available.
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