Do you know how to give a blowjob? Not just any blowjob, but an amazing blowjob? Three 6 Mafia had a song out when I was in high school that suggested giving great head was as simple as slobbing on the knob like corn on the cob, but it's much more involved than that. Giving a great blowjob ain't easy. To quote Samantha from Sex and the City: “Teeth placement, and jaw stress, and suction, and gag reflex, and all the while bobbing up and down, moaning and trying to breathe through our noses. Easy? Honey, they don't call it a job for nothing.”
Giving a blowjob can be intimidating but it can also be very enjoyable. Like with all things, the science behind the perfect blowjob is practice. It makes perfect. Below, you’ll find 9 blowjob tips from sex experts that will make you a blowjob pro in no time.
1.Treat giving a blowjob like the performance art that it is.
"The best thing you can bring to your oral sex game is enthusiasm! Oral sex is performance art and all performances need a great soundtrack. The quickest way to build enthusiasm is to get a song in your head that makes you feel confident and desirable. The song will take your head out of the game (no pun intended) and allow you to enjoy what you're doing. It will give you a rhythm to perform to. You can even hum the melody into your partner and mouth some of the lyrics for a little razzle-dazzle."
- Goody Howard, MSW, MPH, Sex Educator, @askgoody
2.Play with the senses.
"Don’t be afraid to play with the senses. Playing with sound and sight can really heighten the pleasure. Whether it’s you recording something motivational or just talking your partner up they might appreciate adding a little praise kink to the mix. 'I’m so proud of you, I’m so grateful that you’re in my life and I want you to sit back and enjoy yourself for me' playing in their headphones while you’re showing your oral support or playing a sexy playlist in their headphones while they have a satin scarf around their eyes.
"Switching it up doesn’t always have to mean looking for a new way to reinvent the wheel but going out of your way to make it exciting, different, and pleasurable."
- Samia Burton, Intimacy Coordinator, @sexual.essentials
3.Put some neck into it.
"Use your neck to give that neck. Being able to hit different angles by adjusting/rotating your neck gives your jaw a break and helps you explore different parts of his manhood while leaving room for sucking creativity!"
- CoCo, The Conversational Freak, @theconversationalfreak
4.The gag is, gag on it.
"Spit, spit, and more spit! Keep the penis juicy with a lot of spit. Allow the saliva from your mouth to cover the penis. This isn’t the time to be prim and proper, get nasty…gag, choke, slob all over it."
- Jasmine Daniels, MPH, The Vagina Liberator, @thevaginaliberator
5.Find your rhythm and breathe through your nose.
"Relax and breathe through your nose. This point is sort of twofold but they go together so we are going to count it as one. Naturally, when we relax we tend to take our time and not rush through things which in turn allows us time to breathe. The same strategy applies when there’s a penis going down your throat. Relax, find your rhythm, and breathe through your nose. You can increase the pace as you go along."
- J.Marie, MBA, Sexologist, @boobtionary
6.Add some props to the mix.
"Don't be afraid to try new things and explore. Level up by adding some props to the experience. Just like clits like vibration, so do dicks! Place a bullet-style vibrator on your cheek or under your chin to turn your whole mouth into a vibrator. The erectile tissue of a penis extends further down past the ball sack so applying that same vibrator underneath on the taint area will stimulate that tissue as well as radiate the vibration to the prostate creating a more intense orgasm for them.
"If you don't want the worry of having to hold a bullet vibrator, a vibrating c-ring can get the job done as well. You can place the vibrating piece wherever your partner likes while being hands-free for other exploration. There's plenty of variations of products to fit your choice of stimulation."
- Linnea Marie, Certified Sex Educator, @ex.x.xiteme
7.Show love to the frenulum.
"Give the frenulum attention. The penis has a highly sensitive vein along the back of the shaft. Give this vein some attention and watch the toes curl. You don't have to do too much to stimulate. Drag the tip of your tongue up and down the vein. Try out different variations of pressure with your tongue. If you have the oral capabilities, dragging your tongue up and down that vein specifically as you are sucking on the penis is top tier."
- Javay Frye-Nekrasova, MEd, Millennial Sexpert, @millennialsexpert
8.Give yourself a 'helping hand.'
"For those who don't like to swallow semen, try using a masturbator sleeve, like the Helping Hand by Bedroom Kandi with flavored lube. Use the sleeve on the shaft to allow him to fill the ribbed edges on the inside. When he ejaculates use the sleeve to catch the semen."
- Renee Yvonne, Certified Sex Coach at The Gen Sexologist, @thegensexologist
9.Opt out of shame.
"Remove all shame and judgments. This is a time to be wild, fun, and cocky. Pull your hair back. Let your clothes get wet. Make ugly sounds if you want. Don't worry about your nose or eyes running. You are there to give pleasure and be a part of their orgasm."
- Dr. Kreszentia Snyder, LCPC, Sexologist, Sex and Relationship Therapist, @DrEatPrayKink, @mindsempoweredcounseling
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Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
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Yara Shahidi Shares Her Formula For Manifesting The Career Of Her Dreams
Yara Shahidi is a walking testimony of what it looks like to live out your wildest dreams, and she has managed to do it all in the harsh limelight of Hollywood without selling her soul. From acting and producing to hosting The Optimist Project podcast with SiriusXM to being a full-time college student at Harvard, now graduate, the 24-year-old has built a career that inspires while staying true to her values.
But how does she balance such a demanding yet "well-rounded" life while continuing to manifest new opportunities?
In a recent episode of The School of Greatness podcast with Lewis Howes, Yara opened up about her unique formula that has been instrumental to her success: following her curiosity. When asked how she manifests things in her life, Yara explained to the host, “There are many different ways. For some of the bigger things, it really is kinda getting downloads and moments of like, ‘Oh, I think that’s next.’”
She added, “Chasing curiosity means that my purpose is constantly unfolding in front of me. All I have to do is pay attention.” She described these intuitive “downloads” as waves of excitement or curiosity, deeper than that, as moments that spark her interest and give her clues about what to pursue next.
"Chasing curiosity means that my purpose is constantly unfolding in front of me. All I have to do is pay attention."
“A lot of what I think I’m interested in tackling comes from a wave of curiosity,” she said. “Like, for some reason, this is grabbing my attention, and I really couldn’t tell you why.” For Yara, those seemingly random sparks often turn into something deeper and more meaningful for the Bloom actress. She even recalled her podcast The Optimist Project flourishing as a result of a seed planted in her mind as a result of those waves of curiosity.
Whether it’s exploring new roles in her career or partnerships in the world of fashion and endorsements, her method of following the lead of those curiosities has led to incredible results.
One story Yara shared illustrated the power of curiosity-driven manifestation. Seemingly out of nowhere, she wrote down every endorsement deal she thought of having, not as a goal-oriented thing, but more so just writing down on a whim different brands that came to her head as a result of the sparks she is often led by.
Two years later, she realized she and her team had accomplished every single one. “It truly starts as this vision board,” she explained as she recounted the power of her and her team’s alignment on their curiosities. By letting her curiosity guide her, she’s been able to align those visions with the right opportunities. “What do we see?” she asks herself and her team, emphasizing the importance of shared alignment and intention in calling in the right opportunities for her life.
Curiosity is more than just a passing feeling for Yara, in fact, it’s a practice. From her TED Talk on the subject to her daily approach to life, she’s made it clear that tuning into what sparks joy and excitement is her formula for success. She noted that the curiosities are the true start of it all and the analytics or the “how” of achieving the goal comes later.
For Yara, it’s simple: let curiosity lead and trust the path to reveal itself.
Her journey reminds us that curiosity is often the key to uncovering our true purpose. By paying attention to what excites us, we can create a life that aligns with our values and dreams. As Yara’s story shows, following our curiosity might just be the first step toward manifesting the career and life we’ve always imagined.
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