People always talk about the power of networking, and some of us are masters at it. And it's not necessarily just about making a great first impression. It's the follow-up game that leads to real connection and longevity. But there's this sad thing going on, sparked by the isolation of the pandemic and the shifts to remote or hybrid work, where people are losing touch with their networks.
Harvard Business Review reports that people's professional and social networks have decreased by 16 percent. It also found that people with fewer connections at work "have a decreased sense of belonging" and are "less likely to identify with the organization, which puts them at higher risk of turnover and burnout.
Whether you find yourself always being the first one to reach out after meeting a new person or you flop when it comes to really connecting with someone after a session of networking, you're not alone. It's common to struggle with keeping in touch with new people you've met, especially when life starts life-ing, but it doesn't have to be an annoying, petty dance of who's going to call who.
Here are a few steps that have helped me, as an extroverted introvert seeking more adult friendships and new professional connections, keep the good vibes going beyond that first happy hour or conference link-up.
1. Simply put: Unapologetically make the first, second, third, or even fourth move after meeting.
Sometimes, we do have to humble ourselves and put in a bit more effort, especially if our goal for this year (or next) is to expand our network and make new friends or industry-support peers. Reach out for that second, third, or fourth time, even if it feels a bit weird.
At my big age, I recently found myself thinking, "I've already made the first move to keep in touch. Why should I follow up again?" but immediately, in doing the self-work, I was led to the thought, "Why not? Who does it hurt?"
It's really not about a battle of wits or pride but a bottom line of what you really want out of life. Are you willing to let go of a few hang-ups to be that person who reaches out a bit more than you might be used to in order to rebuild or renew your social circle? Does it really matter that you had to call, email, or text more than once in order to finally be able to meet up?
If you find that you're the only one after those first few outings, making the first invites or taking initiative, or your attempts to connect are being ignored, at least you know you gave it your best shot, and you've pushed yourself to grow a bit more in the process of expanding your social circle.
2. Find specific commonalities and build off of that in order to keep the engagement going.
If you meet someone at a conference, for example, make plans to meet up at the next one. Maybe you've found out about a great event that might enhance a new acquaintance's skills or help them in their careers. Invite them to attend with you. Oftentimes, people place value on their time and the people they choose to spend it with, and while relationships shouldn't just be built on a "What can you do for me?" approach, we have to consider that as adults, there should be some sort of common ground that gives the budding new relationship a leg to stand on.
Are you both parents? Maybe a play date for the two of you and your kids is a great option. Newlyweds? Go on a double date. Love to travel and know you're going to be in the same city or country next month? Make real plans to link up or travel together. Into fitness? Schedule walks or fun activities together or coordinate times to meet up at the gym.
Step out on faith, humble yourself, and be open to the possibilities of this, and, above all, have fun with it so it doesn't feel like pressure.
3. Share fun, educational, or relatable information on a regular basis.
hobo_18/Getty Images
It's great when someone in your network thinks of you and sends a relevant article, program information, or educational tidbit that might help you in your career and vice versa. Again, adding value is part of nurturing adult relationships, and this is a great way to spark conversations, find ways to deeply engage, or show who you are and what you're into.
Whether it's an email, social share, or a quick chat to catch up, find ways to connect with the sharing of useful, fun, or interesting information. It doesn't always take a 30-minute call or long text thread to keep in touch with someone. Sometimes, a simple forwarded email with a mention that you're thinking of someone can go a long way to keep the lines of communication going. This is also a way to be more subtle and less forceful when trying to stay in touch with someone new.
4. Respond to texts, emails, and/or calls within 48 hours.
I know people fight for their lives debating about this online, but I think it's fair to at least acknowledge someone's call, text, or email with a follow-up within at least two days after receipt unless there's a major reason you can't. And even if there is a reason, a simple "I've received your message and will get back to you soon" will suffice. Keep it real if you're super busy or going through something personal so that the person doesn't feel like you're simply brushing them off.
I know, I know. You might be thinking, "We're adults. They should know we get busy and life happens." While this is true, making a commitment to expand your network will require a bit more transparency and trust on your part. You might be stepping out of your comfort zone, but that's what new experiences are all about.
Again, if networking and growing your social and professional circles is really a goal, you have to be available, strategic, and open to actually connecting with people. This isn't something you can do in a casual way since, for these purposes, you truly want to enhance your quality of life by making sure you are interacting with and building relationships with other amazing people.
While you won't be able to force things---as you shouldn't---trying these four simple steps serves as a good starting point to show that you're serious about making and keeping new friends to help you navigate the career success you deserve.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Featured image by Plume Creative/Getty Images
RELATED
While an evolution is a natural progression that happens as businesses grow, a rebrand is a total change. Lola tells xoNecole, "A total rebrand is necessary when a business’s current reputation/what it’s known for is at odds with the business’s vision or direction.
"For example, if you’ve fundamentally changed what your product is and does, it’s likely that your brand is out of alignment with the business. Or, if you find your company is developing a reputation that doesn’t serve it, it might be time to pump the brakes and figure out what needs to change.
She continues, "Sometimes you’ll see companies (especially startups) announce a name change that comes with updated messaging, visuals, etc. That usually means their vision has changed or expanded, and their previous branding was too narrow/couldn’t encompass everything they planned to do."
Feature image courtesy
The Brand Doula was born in 2019, and its focus is on putting "the experiences, goals, and needs of women of color founders first," as well as brands with "culture-shifting missions."
According to Lola, culture-shifting is "the act of influencing dominant behavior, beliefs, or experiences in a community or group (ideally, for the better)."
"At The Brand Doula, we work with companies and leaders that set out to challenge the status quo in their industries and communities. They’re here to make an impact that sends ripples across the market," she says.
"We help the problem solvers of the world — the ones who aren't satisfied with 'this is how it's always been' and instead ask 'how could this be better?' Our clients build for impact, reimagining tools, systems, and ways of living to move cultures forward."
The Brand Doula has worked with many brands, including Too Collective, to assist with their collaboration with Selena Gomez's Rare Beauty and Balanced Black Girl for a "refresh," aka rebrand. For businesses looking to rebrand, Lola shares four essential steps.
1. Do an audit of your current brand experience — what’s still relevant and what needs to change? Reflect on why you’re doing the rebrand in the first place and what success would look like after relaunching.
2. Tackle the overall strategy first — before you start redesigning logos and websites, align on a new vision for your brand. How do you want your company to be positioned moving forward? Has your audience changed at all? Will your company have a fresh personality and voice?
3. Bring your audience along the journey — there’s no need to move in secret. Inviting your current audience into the journey can actually help them feel more connected to and invested in your story, enough to stick around as changes are being made.
4. Keep business moving — one of my biggest pet peeves is when companies take down their websites as soon as they have the idea to rebrand, then have a Coming Soon page up for months! You lose a lot of momentum and interest by doing that. If you’re still in business and generating income, continue to operate while you work on your rebrand behind the scenes. You don’t want to cut existing customers off out of the blue, and you also don’t want so much downtime that folks forget your business exists or start looking for other solutions.
While determining whether the rebrand was successful may take a few months, Lola says a clear sign that it is unsuccessful is negative feedback from your target audience. "Customers are typically more vocal about what they don’t like more than what they do like," she says.
But some good signs to look out for are improvements in engagement with your marketing, positive reviews, press and increase in retention, and overall feeling aligned with the new branding.
For more information about Lola and The Brand Doula, visit her website, thebranddoula.com.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image courtesy
During his interview with Essence, the Eagles quarterback gushed about knowing he had something special with Bry. “I knew a long time ago,” he said. “I mean, to this point in my life, that’s an irreplaceable feeling. I think that’s what allowed us to get to where we are now.”
Both are relatively private and haven't said much about their engagement. However, the internet has celebrated the exciting news of Black love. So we've gathered what we know about Bry and their love story.
Photo by Tim Nwachukwu/Getty Images
They met at the University of Alabama
Jalen and Bry both attended the University of Alabama and were involved in Greek life. Jalen is a member of Omega Psi Phi, Fraternity, Inc., and Bry is a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha, Sorority, Inc. The NFL heartthrob played football for the school but later transferred to the University of Oklahoma during his senior year to continue his football career.
Bry has brains and beauty
Bry's LinkedIn profile shows that she graduated from Bama in 2017 with a bachelor's in Spanish and political science. She then went back to pursue her MBA. In 2018, she became the vice president of Bama's MBA Association and was the captain of the MBA Case Team. In 2019, their team won the national SEC Championship. After graduating, she began working at IBM and is currently an AI partner.
Photo by Craig Barritt/Getty Images for TIME
They both love philanthropy
Bry's tech career has led her to help others with the same passion. In 2022, she served as a coach for IBM's 8-week Accelerate program, which helps minorities prepare for the real world. She also spoke at Manderson Women in Business talk and a Diversity & Inclusion panel in 2021.
Jalen's Instagram page shows many examples of him giving back, especially to the communities in Philadelphia. He's worked with KB foundation to provide food and coats at several schools. He's also seen painting with kids and playing football with them and his teammates.
We can't wait to see what the future unfolds for Jalen and Bry. Congrats to the beautiful couple.
Let’s make things inbox official! Sign up for the xoNecole newsletter for love, wellness, career, and exclusive content delivered straight to your inbox.
Feature image by Mike Coppola/Getty Images for TIME