We all know that advocacy for inclusion and equality should be year-round since we all have to be our fullest selves all day every day. Identity is a key element of doing that, and for LGBTQ+ professionals, this can include the question of coming out at work. Some may wonder whether their personal business is, well, anybody's business at work, while others might want to feel safe in the office being out, loud, and proud. Either way, coming out in the workplace is indeed an issue that not only must be addressed but addressed appropriately.
"We conducted some research on this and found that 1 in 4 members of the LGBTQ+ community were hiding their identity at work and were worried that if they did come out, they might be treated differently," said Leonna Spilman, a senior corporate communications manager at LinkedIn. "It's important to note that this is in the context of national and federal regulations that make it illegal to fire employees based on their identities."
Spilman added that companies must ensure that all employees have the opportunity to feel safe, confident, and embraced, and it starts with having protocols and resources that put equity and inclusion at the forefront.
"I'm a queer Black woman, and I was fortunate to find a community of other queer women. I got to see, from them, how to casually mention partners during meetings or talk about weekend plans. And so it really felt natural. I think it's important to recognize that coming out at work is really an ongoing part of our professional journey, and it can happen at a lot of different points."
While coming out is a very personal decision, Spilman added, "It's not something you have to do. Should you choose to do so, it's important that you feel comfortable and confident sharing it at whatever stage you're at in your professional journey."
We talked more with Spilman about best practices, finding your tribe, and making the decision:
What reasons do professionals cite for coming out at work?
If you think about what it takes to hide a big part of your identity, it's a lot of work. It takes a lot of mental and emotional energy, so when you do have spaces that are safe and rooted in inclusion and belonging, it can feel like a lifted weight. In addition to not having to carry that, it's fantastic for networking, for connecting with peers for support, and for building a diverse network.
Courtesy of LinkedIn/Leonna Spilman
Many people are still trying to figure out how to appropriately approach identity topics in the office. How can these conversations be responsibly initiated?
Having a culture that has inclusion as a foundation and equity is a journey. It's a journey as much for individuals as it is for companies and brands. With HR professionals, there's a lot to being in an HR function or even being in a social function within your organization as a leader.
Establishing clear anti-discrimination and anti-harassment protocols is a great start, and committing to inclusive hiring processes is vital. We have data that shows that nearly 80% of LGBTQ professionals said it was important for companies to express a commitment to supporting the community and to have inclusive practices and goals.
"I think it's important to recognize that coming out at work is really an ongoing part of our professional journey and can happen at a lot of different points."
And third, [it's about] looking for opportunities to host discussions and create safe spaces for the community where they can talk about their experiences they're having at work. As an ally as well, we must really be open to sharing feedback—whether that's with an individual or some outcome of work that's being done—and value that feedback.
Always keep in mind that coming out doesn't necessarily have to be your defining moment.
How should someone go about finding an advocate or support in the workplace?
A great place to start is professional groups, called employee resource groups (ERGs), where you can connect with LGBTQ+ leaders and peers. LinkedIn has an ERG called Out@In, and it's a fantastic space that looks to support the community here and elevate those voices at the company. We also launched a "Conversations for Change" campaign, an ongoing program that focuses on conversations that intersect life and work.
Try connecting with someone, for instance, you went to college with or someone who is part of other LGBTQ+ organizations, like Lesbians Who Tech, for example.
There are also things you can do if you're looking for a company that has that built-in community already. As you're interviewing, look to see if they have an ERG and what organizations they support. Look on their LinkedIn page or via another online [platform] to see if they've made outward commitments to supporting the community. Try to get a sense from the hiring manager and ask what inclusion looks like for teams.
Featured image via Getty Images
Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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Feature image by Franco Zulueta
There's something about snuggling up in your favorite blanket and watching a comfort show or movie on Netflix, and what better time to do just that than in December? As the weather outside gets cooler, staying in becomes more of the norm. Thus, Netflix and Chill is a go-to. Luckily, Netflix has released new Black films and series on their popular streaming platform.
From Tyler Perry's historical drama The Six Triple Eight, starring Kerry Washington, to the Will Packer-produced comedy starring Marsai Martin, Regina Hall, and Issa Rae, Little, this season is looking up.
See the full list below.
Little (12/1)
Regina Hall's character is a bossy tech mogul who has everyone scared of her, including her assistant, played by Issa Rae. However, when she transforms into her younger self (Marsai Martin), she learns how to be more kind to others.
Daddy Day Care (12/1)
Eddie Murphy stars in this film as a father who decides to open a daycare after losing his job.
30 For 30 Collection (12/2)
30 For 30 is an ESPN docu-series highlighting some of sports' legendary figures and moments. Some of the episodes include Winning Time: Reggie Miller Vs. The New York Knicks and Celtics/ Lakers: The Best of Enemies.
Jamie Foxx: What Had Happened Was (12/10)
In this special, the multi-talented Jamie Foxx returns to stand-up to give an unforgettable performance.
Blood, Sweat & Heels S2 (12/13)
The short-lived Bravo reality TV series documented the lives of a group of girlfriends making it in NYC. The show starred model-turned-podcaster Melyssa Ford, author Demetria Lucas, and the late TV host Daisy Lewellyn.
The Equalizer S1-3 (12/16)
The hit CBS show starring Queen Latifah is now available on Netflix. Watch the beloved actress kick ass and take names in this popular drama.
The Six Triple Eight (12/20)
The new Tyler Perry film starring Kerry Washington is a true story about the first and only Women’s Army Corps unit of color during World War II.
Christmas Game Day Ravens Vs. Texans (12/25)
While many will tune in to watch the Baltimore Ravens vs. Houston Texans game, others will tune in to watch Beyoncé perform during halftime.
Michelle Buteau: A Buteau-ful Mind At Radio City Music Hall (12/31)
Comedian Michelle Buteau's comedy special will focus on her life with twins, going viral, and much more.
Evil S3 (12/31)
While Evil was unfortunately canceled by CBS, viewers can rewatch the series on Netflix, with season three premiering December 31st.
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