Have you ever walked into a sex toy store and didn’t know what the hell to buy because everything looked fun and intimidating all at once? Sex toy stores are a vibrator overload; there are pink ones, twirling ones, remote-controlled ones, and ones that look like penises. Can you say overwhelming? As a former sex store employee, I can’t begin to tell you how many customers I would see walk into my store with that “deer in headlights” look on their faces. I mean, I get it–there are sex toys EVERYwhere!
And all of them claim to have promising features designed to take your pleasure to the next level. I loved working at the sex store, mainly because I love all things sex toys, and secondly, I absolutely loved helping the customers that came into our store find their perfect match. I made it my personal mission to make sure each and every customer left feeling more informed and less nervous than they did before entering. When shopping for a new sex toy, there's a lot to consider. With so many options, it can be hard to decide which option is best on your own– especially if you are new to this scene– but it doesn’t have to be a daunting task.
A sex toy purchase should be a well-thought-out decision. Before you even set foot in a store, there are things you must ask yourself, such as what you want from your new toy. Will the toy be used with a partner? Decide whether you wish to purchase your vibrator in-store or online, the materials you prefer, and the price range. Knowing what you’re looking for beforehand can save you both time and money. But don't worry, you're not in this alone.
Consider me your personal sex toy Fairy Godmother who's here to hold your hand every step of the way. And by holding your hand, I mean I’ve created my own “how to” guide just for you below.
Know Your Needs:
Whether you’re buying your first sex toy or adding to your collection, it's essential to understand what you want. Are you looking for something to use solo or with a partner? Do you prefer clitoral or G-spot stimulation? Or do you crave something that can do all the work for you? Once you’ve identified your needs, it becomes easier to narrow down your choices when shopping.
Research Is Key:
Before walking into a store or making a purchase online, take some time to research the toy you want. Check the reviews and the product description to know what others have to say about the product. This is important since the experience of others can help you make an informed decision.
Set a Budget:
Sex toys come in different price ranges, so it's always a good idea to set a budget. It's easy to get carried away and overspend, but it's important to remember that expensive doesn't always mean better.
Size Does Matter:
Sex toys come in different sizes, shapes, and textures, so finding one that fits your body and preferences is vital. Don't be afraid to pick it up, feel the texture of the material, and read the product’s measurements to ensure you make the right choice.
Ask for Help:
Sex toy shops have amazing assistants that are always ready to help you make a decision. They can provide you with informative suggestions while ensuring your privacy is maintained. Don't hesitate to ask them about the products' features, how to use them, and how to clean them.
Sex toy stores are not scary places. Remember to take some time to understand your desires, do your research, set a budget, know what size you prefer, and don’t hesitate to ask for help. Sex toys can be a game-changer for your sexual experience, and with these tips, you'll be on the path to finding your perfect match.
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Exclusive: Melanie Fiona On Making High-Vibrational Music & Saying Yes To Partnership
Melanie Fiona is back! After taking a little more than a decade-long hiatus, she has officially made her return to music and blessed us with two singles, “Say Yes” and “I Choose You.” While both singles are very different from each other, they both reflect who she is today and the type of music she wants to make. In our conversation, the mom of two expressed what she learned during her time away.
“It's interesting, even when I said it is like coming back, I don't ever feel like I really left because I was always still performing. I've still been public. It's not like I went into being this recluse person or version of myself, but the thing that I really learned in this process is that I think things take time,” Melanie says in a xoNecole exclusive.
“I think often we're so caught up in it, being on the timing of demand or popularity, or, like, striking while the iron is hot and the thing that I've learned is that everything is on God's time. That's it. Every time I thought I would have been ready, or, like, things were taking too long, I had to reship some things, personally, professionally, in my life. I also gave myself permission to make a living, not just make a living, but make a life for myself.”
Making a life for herself included getting married to Grammy-nominated songwriter Jared Cotter, starting a family, and embracing new landscapes, such as podcasting as a co-host of The Mama’s Den podcast. She also began doing more spiritual work and self-care practices like meditation, sound healing, Reiki, acupuncture, and boundary setting, which allowed her to get in touch with her inner voice.
“I wasn't putting out music, and I wasn't experiencing a number one record, but I was being a number one mom,” she says.
“I was experiencing things that were allowing me to heal and get in touch with myself so that I could make new music from a space of joy and freedom, and excitement again because I definitely feel like I did lose some excitement because of just politics and industry and what it can do to your mental health and even your physical health. So giving myself the space to really just say, ‘Hey, it's okay. Everything's right on time.’”
The joy and excitement are felt in one of two new singles, “I Choose You,” which is more of a lovers rock vibe, a tribute to Melanie’s Caribbean roots. While the Grammy award-winner is known for ballads like “It Kills Me” and “Fool For You,” she is becoming more intentional about the music she makes, calling it high-vibrational music. She says her music is a “reflection of my life,” as it captures every facet, from hanging out with friends to riding around in her car.
“Say Yes” has the classic R&B vibe Melanie is known for. However, both songs are inspired by her relationship. Melanie and Jared got married in December 2020, and the Toronto-bred artist dished on their relationship. Fun fact: he is featured in the “Say Yes” music video.
“When we first started dating, I had come into that relationship post a lot of self-work. I had gotten out of a long-term relationship, I had a year and a half to date and be by myself and do a lot of work on myself alone. And when we met, I remember feeling like this has to be my person because I feel it,” she says.
“And so when we went into that relationship, and we started dating, I was very clear. I was like, I know what I want. I'm very clear on what I need, and I'm not going to withhold my truth about myself in this process because of pride or fear of rejection. I know you love me, but I'm coming with my heart in my hand to let you know that if we're gonna get there, we have to put fear aside and say yes. So that was kind of like my open letter to him, which is why the video is us having a conversation.”
Melanie also shares that saying yes to her partner has empowered her in many ways, including motherhood and showing up for herself. Her new EP, also titled Say Yes, will be available at the top of 2025.
Check out the full interview below.
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Feature image by Franco Zulueta
Serena Williams Hits Back At Skin-Bleaching Accusations: 'I’m A Dark, Black Woman, And I Love Who I Am'
Serena Williams is clapping back at skin-bleaching accusations. During a makeup tutorial for her beauty brand, Wyn Beauty, the tennis legend took the opportunity to address the "haters."
“And then I put just that neutral color, that is actually my skin color, and no, for you haters out there, I do not bleach my skin,” she said. “There is a thing called sunlight, and in that sunlight, you get different colors.”
The rumors started after the mom of two posted a video of herself and her husband, Alexis Ohanian, at their daughter's school play. In the video, she appeared to look a few shades lighter. During her response, she revealed that she was volunteering at the play and wore stage makeup.
“Yes, I’m calling you out on this because it is ridiculous that everyone’s like, ‘Oh, she bleached her skin,’" she said. "I’m a dark, Black woman, and I love who I am, and I love how I look and that's just not my thing.”
The 23-time Grand Slam champion also said that she doesn't judge anyone who bleaches their skin as she "stays in my lane."
Serena has always had style on and off the court, and even collaborated with Nike with her own collection Serena Williams Design Crew. However, the tennis champ has now pivoted into beauty.
Wyn Beauty was launched in April 2024 with at 10-piece collection of lip, eye, and complexion products. The brand was inspired by Serena's time on the court and the packaging is reminiscent of a tennis ball due to its chartreuse color.
“Throughout my career, I was always searching for makeup that looked good after hours on the court, mixing products myself and creating my own formulas while traveling the world,” she said in a statement. As she continues to make a name for herself in the beauty industry, I'm sure we will see a lot more looks from the tennis star.
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Feature image by Marc Piasecki/WireImage