What if we told you things like chronic pain, brain fog, emotional bluntness, hypervigilance, anxiety, immune system dysfunction, trouble sleeping and relaxing, and feelings of being overwhelmed and hopelessness are all signs of an overactive nervous system? Would it make you take another look at the amount of stress in your life and how you’re going about minimizing said stress?
Well, it should.
Stress is how our bodies respond to pressure, and those same bodies have developed a sophisticated system to cope with it. That sophisticated system is the nervous system. But with all of the stress thrown at us through our work, our relationships, and our lives, it can be easy to understand why stress has become the default setting for so many.
The problem with making stress your default is that your chances of having an overworked nervous system increase. Your body could also enter a state of chronic stress, leading to an overactive “fight or flight” response. Nervous system dysregulation occurs when this response becomes chronic or fails to shut off after the perceived threat is gone and can lead to the body believing it’s in a state of danger at all times.
While the stress response is essential for survival, it's not meant to be active all the time, and an overactive one can lead to various health issues. Stress isn’t called a “silent killer” for nothing. This is due to the influx of stress hormones and high cortisol levels that cause the eventual disruption of major bodily processes and make you more susceptible to depression and anxiety, among other health problems.
Leading a truly healthy lifestyle is the difference between an overworked nervous system and a calm nervous system. The latter is a crucial aspect of maintaining overall well-being, and it can positively impact your healing and wellness journey because you can’t really heal in a body that’s chronically stressed. As “the father of mindfulness,” Thích Nhất Hạnh once said, “Stopping, calming, and resting are preconditions for healing.”
A calm nervous system can be achieved through resetting your nervous system, just follow the practices below consistently with care.
How To Reset & Heal Your Nervous System
1.Breathe Deep
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Deep breaths can work wonders in a stressful situation. Spend a few minutes each day focusing on your breath, practicing mindfulness, and calming your mind. The reason deep breathing is such a powerful tool to usher in calm is that it activates the other part of your nervous system, the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS).
Unlike your SNS and its stress hormone-filled “fight or flight” response, the PNS functions in a way that is opposite but complementary to the SNS and is responsible for “rest and digest,” a response that occurs when the body is at rest. Deep breathing techniques, such as diaphragmatic breathing, box breathing, and alternate nose breathing, can also help reduce stress. As an added bonus, it’s also one of the quickest ways to calm an activated nervous system.
2.Embrace the Chill of Cold Therapy
So, what's up with cold therapy? Well, it all starts with the body's response to cold exposure. Cold exposure also helps reduce the production of stress hormones like cortisol, helping the nervous system relax. Its benefits also include reducing inflammation, improving sleep, and enhancing your mood, among other things. One of the most popular forms of cold therapy is ice baths.
The rush of sensations the body feels, along with the calming effects it creates as you adjust to the exposure to the cold, is just one of the reasons those who avidly partake in ice baths turn it into a mindfulness practice. That and the way cold therapy supports a calm nervous system. Cryotherapy is a more accessible, less immersive form of cold therapy that gives you all the benefits in a fraction of time and energy.
Whether you opt for an ice bath, cryotherapy, or simply a refreshing cold shower, cold therapy is a cool (pun intended) way to quiet an activated nervous system.
3.Forest Bathe in Nature or Go on a Hike
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Immerse yourself in the sights, scents, and sounds of nature through the act of forest bathing. Forest bathing encourages you to be fully present in the moment. The idea is to slow down, be present, and truly experience the forest. Instead of worrying about the past or future, you're focused on the rustling leaves, the scent of pine needles, and the feel of the earth beneath your feet. This mindfulness helps reset your nervous system and reduces anxiety.
Disconnect from technology and reconnect to the world around you. As you walk, engage your senses. Notice the colors, textures, and scents around you. Listen to the sounds of birds, leaves rustling, and water flowing. Inhale the pure forest air. Remember that nature is magic. Bathe in the calming magic of the forest’s tranquility.
4.Ground Yourself
Grounding, also known as earthing, is a simple yet powerful practice that involves connecting with the Earth's energy. Grounding involves physically touching the Earth's surface - think walking barefoot on grass, soil, or sand. When you do this, your body absorbs electrons from the Earth, which can help neutralize free radicals and reduce inflammation. This electron exchange has been shown to have a positive impact on various aspects of our health, including our nervous system.
Grounding has been found to reduce the production of stress hormones like cortisol. Start your day with your bare feet on the ground in your backyard, the woods, a park, or a garden. Remember, grounding doesn't require any special equipment or a specific location. It's all about being present and feeling the Earth beneath you.
5.Eat Your Omega-3s
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Fatty fish like salmon, mackerel, tuna, and sardines are fantastic sources of Omega-3 fatty acids. Omega-3s have been shown to reduce inflammation in the body, which is often linked to anxiety and stress. Omega-3 fatty acids also have a central role in nervous system development as well as its repair.
So, swap your peanut butter out with some walnut butter, sprinkle flaxseeds onto your salads, or add chia seeds to your yogurt or morning smoothie – your taste buds and your nervous system will thank you.
6.Tap Into Emotional Freedom with EFT Tapping
EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Techniques, and it's often referred to as "tapping." This technique combines ancient Chinese acupressure with modern psychology to help you release emotional stress, calm your nervous system, and promote overall well-being. It's like a magical blend of science and self-care.
So, how does it work? Well, it's surprisingly simple. You use your fingertips to tap on specific points on your body while focusing on a particular issue or emotion that's bothering you. These points are along meridian lines, which are pathways of energy that have been used in Traditional Chinese Medicine for centuries.
When you tap on these energy points, you're sending calming signals to your brain. It's like giving your amygdala (the brain's fear center) a gentle reminder that you're safe and sound. This reduces the production of stress hormones like cortisol and activates your body's relaxation response.
7.Book That Massage
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Massages stimulate the release of feel-good hormones like serotonin and dopamine while reducing the levels of the stress hormone cortisol. This hormonal shift leads to lowered anxiety and an overall sense of well-being. Massages stimulate your PNS. Your “rest and digest” response takes over, and your mind and body are transported to a place of balanced calm.
Beyond the immediate relaxation, regular massages can have profound long-term effects on your nervous system. They can improve your sleep quality, boost your immune system, and even help manage chronic pain conditions. Try to have one at least once a month to see the best results.
8.Exercise, But Make It Gentle
Incorporating gentle exercise into your daily routine can be a game-changer to soothe your nervous system, helping you achieve that sense of calm and balance you're aiming for. Gentle exercise acts as a natural stress reliever. It reduces the production of stress hormones like cortisol, making you feel more relaxed.
Gentle exercise looks like low-intensity exercises. Think yoga, stretching, Tai Chi, and Qigong that don't require a huge time commitment. A quick morning yoga session or an evening stroll can do wonders for your nervous system.
9.Sing & Chant
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Singing and chanting are wonderful practices that can have a soothing and calming effect on your nervous system. It's a therapeutic tool for anyone seeking relaxation. When you sing, you engage various muscles, including those in your diaphragm and abdomen. This deep breathing is similar to the controlled breaths of yoga or other forms of breathwork, instantly signaling your nervous system to calm down.
Chanting is like a rhythmic meditation that combines sound, breath, and intention. It has been practiced for centuries in various cultures and spiritual traditions, including Buddhism and Hinduism.
10. Connect With Your Community
Our brains are wired for connection, no matter where you are in the world. When we interact with others in meaningful ways, our ability to recover from depression, anxiety, and stress improves, and so does our quality of life. The journey toward a calm nervous system is intertwined with the power of social connections.
Opting for in-person meetups over lengthy texts or calls for at least one person in your friend group once or twice a month could be an effective way to prioritize social connection. So, don't hesitate to nurture those relationships, cultivate connections with new people, and share some laughter with your loved ones. It's all part of the recipe for inner peace and well-being.
One of the most famous chants is the "Om" mantra. When you chant "Om," you're not just making a sound; you're tapping into a universal vibration. This resonance can help synchronize your brain's hemispheres, leading to a sense of inner harmony and relaxation. It's like a reset button for your mind and body.
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RELATED
Taja, an actress known most for her role on BET’s The Oval, and businessman/model Ryan Easter tied the knot on July 27 in an intimate and beautiful wedding in LA - surrounded by friends and family. During our 40+ minute conversation, the newlyweds opened up about the inner work journey they both went through individually to become their best selves.
Taja revealed that her grateful and light spirit came after being in a depressive state and doing a great deal of healing and education. And Ryan shared how losing a parent as a youth affected how he showed up in the world and the truths he had to face to embrace who he is wholly.
The pair also chatted about the power of intention, the importance of working through trauma, and the work they do every day to honor their partnership. There’s a reason their glow is so beautiful! It comes from the inside.
“You're meeting me now after I've done all this work, but I had to go through it to get to that space and be in a very happy, healed relationship,” Taja says. Check out the layered conversation below.
xoNecole: I’ll start with the most obvious question: how did you two meet, and what were your initial feelings about each other?
Ryan Easter: We connected through friends. At the time, I was in New York, and she was back and forth between LA and Atlanta. But our mutual female friends were together and decided they needed to set me up. So they confirmed I was looking for something serious and then sent me her picture.
And I was like, "Okay, she looks good - a chocolate drop." But then I thought, "What's wrong with her? So, I called them up, and one of them was messing with me and said, "Oh, she's a little crazy." I was like, "Whoa, I can't do crazy anymore. I've dealt with that before. I’d rather stay by myself than deal with that again." Then she clarified, "No, I'm just kidding. She's crazy in a good way. She's a lot of fun and has her stuff together. That’s how it started for me.
Taja Simpson: I was just going about my life, getting ready for another season of The Oval, when I got a text from my friend Natasha. She said, "Hey, I don't think you're dating anybody, but I have a friend I think you should meet. He's a great guy." She gave me this huge pedigree, saying they had been friends for 19 years. I thought, "Wow, he sounds amazing." But when she sent me a photo, I didn’t like it.
Later, I thought about it and figured it could just not be a good picture. So she sent his Instagram which had all these modeling fitness pictures and stuff. And then I was like, wow - you had my whole husband this time and didn’t tell me - now I told her she could give him my number.
"I was just going about my life, getting ready for another season of The Oval, when I got a text from my friend Natasha. She said, "Hey, I don't think you're dating anybody, but I have a friend I think you should meet. He's a great guy." She gave me this huge pedigree, saying they had been friends for 19 years. I thought, "Wow, he sounds amazing." But when she sent me a photo, I didn’t like it."
Taja Simpson & Ryan Easter
Photo by @jorgemezaphotos
xoN: I love that because, you know, there's all these conversations about the ways people meet, and I still feel like friends and family are one of the best ways. It’s like they know you! What are your thoughts?
Ryan: Yeah, absolutely! You feel a great sense of obligation to be the best version of yourself because you’re not just representing yourself; you’re also representing the person who referred you. I can’t go out there acting like a fool and have them looking at their friend like, "Why did you hook me up with this clown?" It’s like, we're gonna be clear and honest about our intentions. And if it works, great, and if it doesn't, it's okay.
Taja: Exactly. When he called, we spoke that day for like, an hour. The rest was history. We just connected, and it was great. After that, we started talking every day, and now here we are.
xoN: Okay, so tell me about your first date! Do you remember where you went? What did you do? How was the vibe?
Taja: Our first in-person date was two months after we met over the phone. This was during COVID, so we got introduced in July 2020 but didn’t meet until September. From July to September, we were doing video dates and phone calls, building up this excitement about meeting in person. I was really nervous. I thought, "Oh my God, is it going to be like it was over the phone?" We really connected and vibed. I was there to pick him up at LAX, and I felt like this was it. I thought, "God put this brother in my life to be this good, this perfect." It felt too good to be true.
I actually had a friend meet us at the airport to film our meeting without him knowing. I told her to stay in the corner and keep the camera hidden. When he was coming down the escalator, I had this whole plan to run up to him in slow motion and jump into his arms. When I saw him, I froze. I was so nervous that I couldn’t move! He came up to me, gave me a big hug, and swung me around, and I just thought, "Wow!" Everything I planned went out the window.
Ryan: I was really excited to meet her, too. Technically, our first date was at Firestone Brewery. After the airport, we went back to her place to drop off my stuff, and then she said, "I like to drink beer," so she took me to a brewery nearby.
I remember being there, and we were kind of embracing, but not too much since it was technically the first time we were in physical proximity. You still have to play it cool, even after talking for a while. But every time I touched her, it felt good. I thought, "Yeah, this is it." When we hugged at the airport, I felt like, "Yo, this is home." At that moment, I knew she was the one.
xoN: Ugh, I love that. So when did the courtship start to develop into a relationship? Did y'all have that conversation?
Ryan: Initially, we were very clear about our intentions. We were both dating with purpose and had similar aspirations of eventually finding someone to marry, start a family, create businesses together, and live our lives to the fullest. We knew from the beginning that this was our goal and checked in with each other to see if we were on the same page.
After establishing our intentions, it was about having those small conversations. We discussed what was important to each of us—our needs, wants, likes, dislikes, triggers, and traumas. All those details are crucial for building a solid foundation for a healthy relationship. We spent a lot of time getting to know the real person, not just the representative we might present to the world.
Sometimes, it’s difficult because it requires us to be extremely vulnerable. For men, especially in our society, vulnerability is often frowned upon, making it hard to expose that sensitive side. You never know how people will react—some might use it against you, while others might protect you.
I think for her; it took her understanding that mentality that men have and use that to her advantage to make sure she's like, look, this is a safe space for you to allow me to see the full person that you are. I appreciated that because, like, I would tell her, if you really want a man to value you, he has to feel safe with you, right, not necessarily in a physical capacity but more so from an emotional standpoint; I need to feel like I can be safe with you emotionally.
So that courtship was a lot of just having those serious, sometimes difficult conversations about things we're going through in the past to things we aspire to accomplish in the future, to things that we're currently dealing with, and started to gain that understanding about who we are and what we aspire to be, and just continue to flow.
"So that courtship was a lot of just having those serious, sometimes difficult conversations about things we're going through in the past to things we aspire to accomplish in the future, to things that we're currently dealing with, and started to gain that understanding about who we are and what we aspire to be, and just continue to flow."
Taja: I mean, that's exactly right, and a lot of it we spoke about even before we met. Because it was this free thing where we didn’t know each other. We didn't have to be a representative. I was just my authentic self. It’s like - I'm an actor, and I got five or six characters that may come out in our conversation. I'll be funny, then the next moment, I'll be serious. It just happens.
I was very vocal about how I foresee my life going. Also, because I'm in entertainment, that played a part. I had met people before who couldn't handle that. They wanted a woman with a nine-to-five, a teacher, or just somebody with a very strict schedule. But that wasn't me. So I think we were super intentional when it came to dating and making sure we can build and grow together. So, we made that commitment prior to him leaving. He came to LA for a week, and the day before he left, it was like, okay, so this is it.
xoN: I’ve noticed that intention and vulnerability are both powerful words that you two keep using, which I think is essential for any long-term relationship. What are some of your other shared values?
Ryan: Also, we both understood the power of mindset. When you see successful or unsuccessful people, sometimes others will attribute their state to their family or money. And I'm not saying that that doesn't help. But there are a lot of people who have come from very humble beginnings and very troubled past that have gone on to do great things, and it all had to do with their mindset. They had to leave and see themselves doing what they desired to do before it became a reality in the physical realm.
I think a lot of those beliefs and mentalities that we shared was refreshing because, you know, we've all known people that every time you talk to them, something bad is going on. And it's such a drag because they can bring your energy down. We don't subscribe to that. Not saying that we don't go through tough times. But when we do, the question that we always ask ourselves is, what is it that I'm supposed to learn from this? I think those type of elements of just being in alignment mentally about how we view the world definitely help to solidify our relationship and our connection.
Taja: When we met, I was in a headspace of growth. We now call it believe, evolve, become because you have to believe that thing right in order to show up. We both understand that your vibration precedes your manifestation, so you have to vibrate and believe at a certain level. Act as if you have to be in that space, that energy, in order for that thing to come so you can evolve and then become whatever that said thing is. But I was in that headspace before we met, and I was clearing out people in my life.
I was really intentional with finding someone that was in that headspace, too. I was not okay with anyone being stagnant.
Taja Simpson & Ryan Easter
Photo by @jorgemezaphotos
xoN: You two seem so evolved individually and collectively. I'm curious, were there any challenges that you two had to get through together, and what did you learn from that experience?
Ryan: Being parents. And if your partner doesn't have a great pregnancy, then it can be tough, and it stretches you in a lot of ways. But I would definitely say the first five months of being new parents was a lot because we were both exhausted. And she's also trying to heal her body because giving birth puts a tremendous amount of stress on the woman's body. It gives you a different respect for the strength of femininity because I wouldn't want to go through that. And I was there the whole 29 hours.
So during that time I'm getting snappy because I need to rest. I have not been able to rest, and I'm sleep-deprived, and I don't feel like I got my foot in yet. And, and then, on top of that, you have this, this really small human that's completely dependent upon you. They can't do anything for himself, and that, even psychologically, that's a lot to carry. But the thing that I think that has helped us is that we understand that we won't always be on the same page. It's okay to have disagreements, but you always have to lead with love, meaning that if I'm upset with her or she's upset with me, we focus on what the issue is.
Taja: I had a horrible pregnancy and was still feeling like I want to be productive; it’s just part of who I am. And during the newborn phase, like he said, we were exhausted. We were zombies. I'm getting whiny. I need sleep. He's getting snappy and short, and we're having to figure out us. The hardest thing is trying to still learn how to effectively communicate in the midst of this space where you are exhausted; you don't feel good, nothing's going your way.
But I'm a big believer of being accountable, especially for women, because women are not always accountable. But we encourage each other to address the trauma and encourage positive self-thought and talk. Because what you think, speak, and do creates power for better and worse.
xoN: Were there any past traumas you had to heal from in order to love each other correctly, and do you feel comfortable discussing them?
Ryan: For me, the biggest thing was my father’s death at nine. You’re young, and you don’t know how to process the loss. It’s one of those things I thought I dealt with, but when I got into my adult years, I realized it didn’t. I always felt like I had to go above and beyond because I didn’t have my father there to be a man - I excelled in sports and academics, but it was based on an inadequate feeling.
I understand the importance of fathers in children’s life but you still have the power to be the best version of yourself whether your father is there or not. And I believe the almighty Creator will put people in your life to be the best version of yourself. I wanted to be that confident person for her and our children - and I didn’t want to carry that trauma into our relationship or our son. So I worked on it before us and I continue to now.
Taja: Mine was colorism. I grew up where the brown paper bag thing was a thing. There were kids I couldn’t play with because “I was too Black.” I had a family member who called me “Ew.” Like she’d literally say, come here, Ew, you ugly thing. And my family, for a long time, didn’t realize how it was breaking me. But eventually, my mom noticed and taught me more about self-esteem and then I started to do the work. But it still shows its head. I still would have thoughts that I’m not good enough because of how I look. I’ve literally not tried out for roles because of that. One of my friends’ friends has literally called out once that I was the only dark person at an event.
So when I started doing the work, I noticed the ways it showed up, like I just wouldn’t want to be in the sun long. I mean when I was younger, I used to pray to God to make me “better” or lighter. It took a long time to really get over that. There’s a book I wrote called Women Who Shine - where I got my thoughts out about this.
So he knows my sensitive spots and speaks to the little girl in me. It's so interesting how the things we go through when we’re young affect us in adulthood. Mental health is as important as physical health - and I’m grateful that he understands the importance of both of those.
xoN: Thank you for your vulnerability. I hope it helps someone else. Finally, I’ll close with this: what’s your favorite thing about each other?
Ryan: Definitely her mindset. She doesn’t have a victim mindset; she’s empowered. That’s so attractive. I believe that she prides herself on being a good, great communicator. She moves with integrity, you know, I think that's important. And you know, she also understands the importance of taking care of her physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing.
Taja: There’s so many. Where do I start? My husband is supremely supportive. I absolutely love that about him. Also, I love his intention. I love how effectively he communicates. I love how he fathers our child. I love how he looks. Because, praise God. Okay, I'm just gonna put that out there.
But you know what, my favorite thing about him is that I love that he's a man of integrity.
Integrity was the highest things on my list when I’d write out what I wanted in a partner. Because it’s everything. And so I love that I feel the level of safety that I feel with him, that I can completely be my 100% authentic self. I know that he's taking care of me, my heart, and our family. We're good.
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