What if we told you things like chronic pain, brain fog, emotional bluntness, hypervigilance, anxiety, immune system dysfunction, trouble sleeping and relaxing, and feelings of being overwhelmed and hopelessness are all signs of an overactive nervous system? Would it make you take another look at the amount of stress in your life and how you’re going about minimizing said stress?
Well, it should.
Stress is how our bodies respond to pressure, and those same bodies have developed a sophisticated system to cope with it. That sophisticated system is the nervous system. But with all of the stress thrown at us through our work, our relationships, and our lives, it can be easy to understand why stress has become the default setting for so many.
The problem with making stress your default is that your chances of having an overworked nervous system increase. Your body could also enter a state of chronic stress, leading to an overactive “fight or flight” response. Nervous system dysregulation occurs when this response becomes chronic or fails to shut off after the perceived threat is gone and can lead to the body believing it’s in a state of danger at all times.
While the stress response is essential for survival, it's not meant to be active all the time, and an overactive one can lead to various health issues. Stress isn’t called a “silent killer” for nothing. This is due to the influx of stress hormones and high cortisol levels that cause the eventual disruption of major bodily processes and make you more susceptible to depression and anxiety, among other health problems.
Leading a truly healthy lifestyle is the difference between an overworked nervous system and a calm nervous system. The latter is a crucial aspect of maintaining overall well-being, and it can positively impact your healing and wellness journey because you can’t really heal in a body that’s chronically stressed. As “the father of mindfulness,” Thích Nhất Hạnh once said, “Stopping, calming, and resting are preconditions for healing.”
A calm nervous system can be achieved through resetting your nervous system, just follow the practices below consistently with care.
How To Reset & Heal Your Nervous System
1.Breathe Deep
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Deep breaths can work wonders in a stressful situation. Spend a few minutes each day focusing on your breath, practicing mindfulness, and calming your mind. The reason deep breathing is such a powerful tool to usher in calm is that it activates the other part of your nervous system, the parasympathetic nervous system (PNS).
Unlike your SNS and its stress hormone-filled “fight or flight” response, the PNS functions in a way that is opposite but complementary to the SNS and is responsible for “rest and digest,” a response that occurs when the body is at rest. Deep breathing techniques, such as diaphragmatic breathing, box breathing, and alternate nose breathing, can also help reduce stress. As an added bonus, it’s also one of the quickest ways to calm an activated nervous system.
2.Embrace the Chill of Cold Therapy
So, what's up with cold therapy? Well, it all starts with the body's response to cold exposure. Cold exposure also helps reduce the production of stress hormones like cortisol, helping the nervous system relax. Its benefits also include reducing inflammation, improving sleep, and enhancing your mood, among other things. One of the most popular forms of cold therapy is ice baths.
The rush of sensations the body feels, along with the calming effects it creates as you adjust to the exposure to the cold, is just one of the reasons those who avidly partake in ice baths turn it into a mindfulness practice. That and the way cold therapy supports a calm nervous system. Cryotherapy is a more accessible, less immersive form of cold therapy that gives you all the benefits in a fraction of time and energy.
Whether you opt for an ice bath, cryotherapy, or simply a refreshing cold shower, cold therapy is a cool (pun intended) way to quiet an activated nervous system.
3.Forest Bathe in Nature or Go on a Hike
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Immerse yourself in the sights, scents, and sounds of nature through the act of forest bathing. Forest bathing encourages you to be fully present in the moment. The idea is to slow down, be present, and truly experience the forest. Instead of worrying about the past or future, you're focused on the rustling leaves, the scent of pine needles, and the feel of the earth beneath your feet. This mindfulness helps reset your nervous system and reduces anxiety.
Disconnect from technology and reconnect to the world around you. As you walk, engage your senses. Notice the colors, textures, and scents around you. Listen to the sounds of birds, leaves rustling, and water flowing. Inhale the pure forest air. Remember that nature is magic. Bathe in the calming magic of the forest’s tranquility.
4.Ground Yourself
Grounding, also known as earthing, is a simple yet powerful practice that involves connecting with the Earth's energy. Grounding involves physically touching the Earth's surface - think walking barefoot on grass, soil, or sand. When you do this, your body absorbs electrons from the Earth, which can help neutralize free radicals and reduce inflammation. This electron exchange has been shown to have a positive impact on various aspects of our health, including our nervous system.
Grounding has been found to reduce the production of stress hormones like cortisol. Start your day with your bare feet on the ground in your backyard, the woods, a park, or a garden. Remember, grounding doesn't require any special equipment or a specific location. It's all about being present and feeling the Earth beneath you.
5.Eat Your Omega-3s
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Fatty fish like salmon, mackerel, tuna, and sardines are fantastic sources of Omega-3 fatty acids. Omega-3s have been shown to reduce inflammation in the body, which is often linked to anxiety and stress. Omega-3 fatty acids also have a central role in nervous system development as well as its repair.
So, swap your peanut butter out with some walnut butter, sprinkle flaxseeds onto your salads, or add chia seeds to your yogurt or morning smoothie – your taste buds and your nervous system will thank you.
6.Tap Into Emotional Freedom with EFT Tapping
EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Techniques, and it's often referred to as "tapping." This technique combines ancient Chinese acupressure with modern psychology to help you release emotional stress, calm your nervous system, and promote overall well-being. It's like a magical blend of science and self-care.
So, how does it work? Well, it's surprisingly simple. You use your fingertips to tap on specific points on your body while focusing on a particular issue or emotion that's bothering you. These points are along meridian lines, which are pathways of energy that have been used in Traditional Chinese Medicine for centuries.
When you tap on these energy points, you're sending calming signals to your brain. It's like giving your amygdala (the brain's fear center) a gentle reminder that you're safe and sound. This reduces the production of stress hormones like cortisol and activates your body's relaxation response.
7.Book That Massage
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Massages stimulate the release of feel-good hormones like serotonin and dopamine while reducing the levels of the stress hormone cortisol. This hormonal shift leads to lowered anxiety and an overall sense of well-being. Massages stimulate your PNS. Your “rest and digest” response takes over, and your mind and body are transported to a place of balanced calm.
Beyond the immediate relaxation, regular massages can have profound long-term effects on your nervous system. They can improve your sleep quality, boost your immune system, and even help manage chronic pain conditions. Try to have one at least once a month to see the best results.
8.Exercise, But Make It Gentle
Incorporating gentle exercise into your daily routine can be a game-changer to soothe your nervous system, helping you achieve that sense of calm and balance you're aiming for. Gentle exercise acts as a natural stress reliever. It reduces the production of stress hormones like cortisol, making you feel more relaxed.
Gentle exercise looks like low-intensity exercises. Think yoga, stretching, Tai Chi, and Qigong that don't require a huge time commitment. A quick morning yoga session or an evening stroll can do wonders for your nervous system.
9.Sing & Chant
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Singing and chanting are wonderful practices that can have a soothing and calming effect on your nervous system. It's a therapeutic tool for anyone seeking relaxation. When you sing, you engage various muscles, including those in your diaphragm and abdomen. This deep breathing is similar to the controlled breaths of yoga or other forms of breathwork, instantly signaling your nervous system to calm down.
Chanting is like a rhythmic meditation that combines sound, breath, and intention. It has been practiced for centuries in various cultures and spiritual traditions, including Buddhism and Hinduism.
10. Connect With Your Community
Our brains are wired for connection, no matter where you are in the world. When we interact with others in meaningful ways, our ability to recover from depression, anxiety, and stress improves, and so does our quality of life. The journey toward a calm nervous system is intertwined with the power of social connections.
Opting for in-person meetups over lengthy texts or calls for at least one person in your friend group once or twice a month could be an effective way to prioritize social connection. So, don't hesitate to nurture those relationships, cultivate connections with new people, and share some laughter with your loved ones. It's all part of the recipe for inner peace and well-being.
One of the most famous chants is the "Om" mantra. When you chant "Om," you're not just making a sound; you're tapping into a universal vibration. This resonance can help synchronize your brain's hemispheres, leading to a sense of inner harmony and relaxation. It's like a reset button for your mind and body.
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
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Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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You know, sometimes, when I go back and look at some of the articles that I’ve penned for the platform before, I truly can’t believe how fast time flies. Take the piece, “What's The Difference Between Being 'Religious' And Being 'Spiritual', Anyway?” — now, how in the world did it turn five this year? I can’t even begin to wrap my mind around it. And although the piece does address some key points — like the fact that there is somewhat of a difference between being spiritual and being religious (although more people should read James 1:27 in order to understand how the Bible defines religion to be…it just might surprise them) — I want to explore a deeper angle of our spirituality, along with what we should require of it.
Today, let’s look at spirituality from the perspective of “the quality of being concerned with the human spirit or soul as opposed to material or physical things,” “a quality that goes beyond religious affiliation, that strives for inspiration, reverence, awe, meaning and purpose…” (Murray and Zentner) and, perhaps, more than anything else, “the relationship between ourselves and something larger."
You know, it’s a woman by the name of Dr. Maya Spencer who once said, “Spirituality means knowing that our lives have significance in a context beyond a mundane everyday existence at the level of biological needs that drive selfishness and aggression. It means knowing that we are a significant part of a purposeful unfolding of Life in our universe.” Indeed.
And while keeping that in mind, if this is a time of your life when you would like to “clean or cleanse your spirituality” by doing things like removing negative energy, getting rid of old or counterproductive patterns and/or by stepping into an elevated space as far as your human spirit and soul are concerned, you might be pleasantly surprised by how easy and even fun that can be for you to do.
To effectively clean/cleanse your spirit, start by asking — and answering — the following five spirituality-focused questions:
What Inspires You?
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Remember how, in the intro, I shared that one definition of spirituality is “a quality that goes beyond religious affiliation, that strives for inspiration, reverence, awe, meaning and purpose…”? That is actually where I am pulling a lot of these questions from because, the reality is that focusing on things that inspire you, intentionally pondering your purpose, and also by encouraging yourself to become an overall better human being — these things definitely tie into your spiritual side whether you are “traditionally religious” or not.
And so, when it comes to cleansing your spirituality in this season, a great question to start off with is what actually inspires you? And listen, believe it or not, inspire is a pretty layered word. I say that because, while one definition is “to produce or arouse (a feeling, thought, etc.),” another is “to communicate or suggest by a divine or supernatural influence,” while synonyms of the word include excite, affect, cause, motivate, provoke, and instill. This means that if you truly want to say or do things from a place of inspiration, you need to produce things from a divine or supernatural space (interesting, right?).
The reason why it’s so important to “spring clean” in this department is, oftentimes you can be motivated or provoked by things that aren’t really all that good, healthy and/or beneficial for you (social media fast, anyone?) — things that take your mind off of what’s divine — sacred, godly and extremely good. As a result, you find yourself producing out of a mind and heart space that is compromised when it comes to your core standards, values, and even goals.
So yes, in the effort to cleanse your spirituality, begin by really reflecting on what you claim inspires you — then revisit what the word actually means…just to be sure that you are being honest with yourself about whether something or one is truly inspiring you…or not.
What Amplifies Your Purpose?
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Purpose is always something that is going to be a pretty big deal to me. That’s why I’ve written articles for the platform like “What Does It Mean To Have 'Purposeful Relationships'?,” “Please Stop Picking People Who Don't 'Fit' Your Purpose,” “The Conversation You Need To Have With Yourself Before The New Year Begins,” “How To Handle 'Purpose Fatigue'” and “5 Signs You Are Living Your True Purpose.” It’s because really, if you’re not focused, most of all, on the reason why you exist in the first place, nothing else is going to be fully, truly, and authentically fulfilling for you.
So, when it comes to this part of your spirituality, first take some time to make sure that you know what your purpose is. If you have no clue and you’re ready to find out, as a wise person once said, wisdom comes in the questions, even more than the answers, and Rockwood Leadership Institute has a whopping 132 questions that you can ask yourself in order to get to the root of what your purpose is here. On the flip side, if you do know and you’re just not feeling completely satisfied in what you are currently doing as it relates to executing your purpose, it sounds to me like you are going through a bit of a “purpose growth spurt,” and yes, there is such a thing.
For instance, I am very clear on what my purpose in life is — I am here to teach what I study and research about when it comes to the topics of covenant marriage, sex, and the biblical Sabbath. All are covenant principles that have been unbelievably compromised in a thousand different ways. However, as I evolve, transform, and mature, my understanding of what I know does as well, and that “upgrades” how I approach and share my purpose with others. You see, purpose is never supposed to be stagnant…it is ever-shifting as far as how you accomplish things within it.
And that’s why, spiritually, it’s so important that you make sure that you are AMPLIFYING YOUR PURPOSE. To amplify is “to make larger, greater, or stronger; enlarge; extend.” If you are not putting forth the effort to do just this, there is some spiritual cleansing that must be done because, if there is one thing about a person’s purpose, it’s the fact that it’s HUGE which means that there will always be plenty to do within it until their time on this earth ends.
What Makes You Love Better…and More?
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I believe I’ve mentioned before that a show that I loathe with every fiber of my being (and there really is so much to choose from these days — SMDH) is TV One’s For My Man. Not only is it a program that discourages full-level accountability, but it irks me to no end every time that it says that a woman did some heinous crime in the name of love. According to Scripture, GOD IS LOVE (I John 4:8&16). Not only that, but the Love Chapter in Scripture has a very healthy, sane, and mature take on how we should love and require love in return (I’m going to share two translations of I Corinthians 13:4-8 for expanded context):
“Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always ‘me first,’ doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end. Love never dies.” (I Corinthians 13 — Message)
“Love endures long and is patient and kind; love never is envious nor boils over with jealousy, is not boastful or vainglorious, does not display itself haughtily. It is not conceited (arrogant and inflated with pride); it is not rude (unmannerly) and does not act unbecomingly. Love (God’s love in us) does not insist on its own rights or its own way, for it is not self-seeking; it is not touchy or fretful or resentful; it takes no account of the evil done to it [it pays no attention to a suffered wrong]. It does not rejoice at injustice and unrighteousness, but rejoices when right and truth prevail. Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person, its hopes are fadeless under all circumstances, and it endures everything [without weakening]. Love never fails [never fades out or becomes obsolete or comes to an end].” (I Corinthians 13 — AMPC)
Now, think about what you see displayed on television when it comes to relationships. Based on these verses, is it love? Is it really? Ponder all of the relationship content that’s on social media. Does it sound like this kind of love? Does it really? The times when you’ve done things that you know were purely rooted in selfishness, impatience, and/or refusing to do for others what you would want them to do for you — how can any of that be loving? If you do believe in God and you also believe that you were made in his image (Genesis 1:26-28), this means that a part of your own spiritual DNA is love. This also means that if you know that your love has been tainted by material or physical things (which, by definition, is the opposite of spirituality), it’s time to make some real adjustments.
That said, take some time, think about the people and things that you profess to love, and ask yourself if it’s really love or is it lust or entitlement or immaturity. Then ask yourself what you can do to love those individuals and items better.
Remember, since you are made from Love, it’s important that you love like you are.
How Effective Are You When It Comes to Compassion?
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Personally, I think that whenever someone does something reckless and then follows up with the Bible says not to judge, I find it to be a supreme level of gaslighting. The context of that verse is saying that in the way that you judge, you will be judged and that you should make sure that you are right in the area that you are judging before you judge someone else (Matthew 7:1-5); however, be clear that judgment is a form of accountability which is why there are also verses like “Do not judge according to appearance, but judge with righteous judgment” (John 7:24 — NKJV) that exist — not to mention the fact that discernment literally means “keen judgment” and the Good Book supremely promotes that: “Strike a scoffer, and the simple will become wary; rebuke one who has understanding, and hewill discern knowledge.” (Proverbs 19:25 — NKJV)
And that’s why, any time the topic of “don’t judge” comes up, I am known for saying something along the lines of, “PUH-LEEZE. If I say ‘You’re cute,’ I just judged you. Humans don’t have a problem with judgment; they don’t like criticism or accountability.” And gee, is that unfortunate because it’s hard to grow without both of those things. However, the key that comes with being on the giving end of criticism or holding someone accountable is applying a quote by author Anne McCaffrey: “Make no judgments where you have no compassion.”
This world has a lot of…stuff going on, stuff that needs to be addressed and stuff that needs compassion applied while it is. By definition, compassion is about having concern for others, especially if what you see them going through, they have either told you or you can discern is tied to some level of internal suffering. And that’s why, in the spirit of spiritual cleansing, something else to ask is if you are holding others and even yourself accountable while operating from a place of genuine care and concern or is your ego just wanting to elevate itself or prove that it’s right?
You know, we’re living in a time when, more and more, people are frowning on humility which is unfortunate because a definite quality that comes with being a compassionate person is absolutely that — “By humility and the fear of the Lord are riches and honor and life.” (Proverbs 22:4 — NKJV)
It really is almost impossible to be profoundly spiritual without being a compassionate person. Is this an area that needs some “cleaning up”? If so, there is no time like the present.
What Encourages You to Be Wiser and Full of More Truth?
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Musician Jimi Hendrix once said, “Knowledge speaks, wisdom listens.” Aristotle once said, “Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.” Confucius once said, “By three methods we may learn wisdom: first, by reflection, which is the noblest; second, by imitation, which is the easiest; and third, by experience, which is the bitterest." Thomas Jefferson once said, “The wisest men know their weakness.” Author Gift Gugu Mona once said, “A woman of peace is a wise woman who understands that peace is more powerful than trying to prove a point.”
And what does it mean to be wise?
People who can regulate their emotions are wise. People who actually learn from their experiences (and the experiences of others, so that they don’t have to experience everything) are wise. People who know how to tame their ego are wise. People who are flexible/adaptable, non-materialistic, are self-aware, can be relied upon for great perspectives and insights, and are teachable are wise. The self-disciplined are wise. The patient are wise. The non-entitled are wise. Those who prioritize well are wise.
Those who do not live above their means (across the board), they are also wise. And there is no way that you can be wise without being willing to be completely honest, yes truthful with yourself about where you could stand to gain more wisdom and what must be done — and sometimes sacrificed — in order to get it.
And so, as I close this piece out, when it comes to spring cleaning your spirituality, ask yourself who and what encourages and enables you to become a wiser individual — AND who and what hinders that from transpiring. Then be honest with yourself about what is challenging you for the better and what, frankly, is only dumbing you down. Indeed, in order to live out the full potential of your spirituality, wisdom must come into play. However, it’s important to keep in mind that, for wisdom to truly flourish, it is a conscious choice — a daily decision.
And it will never come so long as you are making up excuses, justifying poor behavior (check out “Accountability Time: Let's Stop Calling It A 'Mistake' When It Was A 'Choice'”) or lying to yourself about what needs to be done. Taking those approaches to life is literally the opposite of being wise.
A French priest by the name of Pierre Teilhard de Chardin once said, “We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” I can only imagine how much the quality of our lives would improve if we took that in on a very serious level.
The good news is you can choose to do it — right here and right now.
See yourself as a spiritual being.
Clean/cleanse whatever hinders that reality.
And watch how you begin to soar, supernaturally, by design, because of it, sis.
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