

I don't know about you, but I absolutely cannot believe that we have reached the time of the year when this topic even needs to be discussed. I mean, it's like 2021 is on steroids times 10. And yet, here we are. Many of us are vaccinated. The world is opening up. It's hotter than a mutha outdoors. This means that it's time to head to the pool or the beach. Not with a graphic tee and a pair of Bermuda shorts. Nah, sis. Where's your bathing suit at?
If you're already slightly hyperventilating at the mere thought of going through one of your drawers to pull it out or — even better — shopping for something new, I've got 12 tips that can make you feel so much more comfortable and confident in your swimwear. For no other reason than you should. Let's do this, aight?
1. Repeat: There Is No “Perfect Body”. Only Personal Preferences.
Bikini body. We've all heard that phrase before and, if a lot of us were honest with ourselves, it's a HUGE part of the reason why we avoid wearing a bathing suit like the plague. The main thing to remember with this particular point is there is no perfect body. For one thing, very few things are "without flaw" (especially when it comes to humans), and secondly, if ever the saying "beauty is in the eye of the beholder" applied, it would be when it comes to how our bodies look. Some people dig big breasts and a small butt. Some folks prefer small breasts and a huge rump. Some out here like an athletic build. Some are all about the thicker/curvier woman.
Bottom line is, it's all about personal preference. That's why your main focus needs to be on you preferring you. The confidence that comes with that? It will make you look amazing in pretty much anything that you wear (check out "These 10 Hacks Will Help You Love Your Body More").
2. Learn/Recall What Your Body Type Is

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After you develop some inner self-confidence, the next step is to find a bathing suit that complements your body type. This too can help you to feel so much better about how you look in swimwear. To tell you the truth, this is an article all on its own. For now, I'll share a few pointers.
- If you've got large breasts, consider a halter top or a suit with thick straps for support.
- If you've got smaller breasts, go with a padded top or one that has designs on it (to give the illusion that your breasts are fuller).
- If you have a long torso, two-piece bathing suits or ones with horizontal lines can "shorten" your waist's appearance a bit.
- If you have a short torso, a one piece with asymmetrical lines or a suit with designs on the front will help to make your torso appear longer.
- If you're smaller at the top than the bottom (basically, you've got a pear shape), a suit that has a bright color at the top and a darker hue at the bottom can bring about a bit of balance.
- If you're on the curvier side period, avoid solid colors.
Again, this is basically a CliffsNotes version of what to look for. If you'd like to read more about what kind of suit looks best on different body types, check out Who What Wear's "5 New Swimsuit Trends That Work For Every Body Type" article.
3. A One-Piece or Tankini Is Great for Tummies
What if you dig everything about your body except your stomach area? Chile, that is not uncommon at all. The best thing to do would be to invest in either a one-piece or a tankini which is basically a tank top that is made out of a spandex/Lycra/nylon blend that is complemented with a bikini bottom. Both will give you more coverage and support which can make you feel more comfortable. And, when it comes to one-piece suits, they have a way of making you look sophisticated (especially if you wear some cute sandals, wedges or sometimes, even heels with them to elongate your legs).
4. Accentuate Your “Strengths”
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OK. What I mean by "strengths" is two-fold. One, think about the parts of your body that you know are killin' the game. Do you have toned calves? If so, you definitely need to get the right shoes. Do you adore your cleavage line? Then the cut of your suit needs to accentuate that. Does your skin have a natural glow? Where's your bronzer at? When it comes to feeling great in your swimwear, you've got to remember that it's not just about the suit itself; it's about the entire presentation. For instance, if your 'fro is all things, definitely bring it out on swimsuit day!
5. Wear Your Favorite Color
Color psychology is very much a real thing. Matter of fact, when it comes to the hues that you're drawn to the most, it can say a lot about where you are mentally/emotionally. Red speaks to passion. Yellow is all about happiness and hope. Orange is about excitement and enthusiasm. Green is all about health and abundance. Blue keeps you calm and tranquil. The list goes on and on.
Point here is, there's something about wearing a color that we really like that can instantly make us feel good. While there are some shades that complement skin tones better than others, you really can't go wrong with getting at least one bathing suit in your favorite color. It will make you smile and probably improve your posture too. That definitely makes it a worthwhile investment.
6. Rock a Cover-Up
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While your low-key goal may be to wear a cover-up to literally cover up areas of your body that you aren't the most comfortable with, no one has to know that is your motivation. To me, cover-ups are simply another way to add some flavor to a bathing suit. Sarongs can make your suit appear more elegant and festive. A long sheer robe will have you looking like you are floating wherever you are. Your man's shirt (or just an oversized button-down one, period) can be sexy as hell (kinda like when you wear one over some lingerie). Caftan cover-ups are super playful. I really like those because different materials (crocket, knit, organic cotton, silk, etc.) can make them look totally different from casual to something on the dressier side.
7. Accessorize
Who said that you had to go to the pool or beach with nothing on but the basics? Just like accessories can do wonders for an outfit, it can also take swimwear to another level too! A gemstone bracelet. A turban on your head. Fly sunglasses. A big ass straw hat. The biggest fashion bag you've ever seen in your life. The bottom line is to have fun while creating your swimwear style. If you enjoy putting your overall look together, you will radiate the kind of energy that will make people smile, just by looking at you!
8. Do Some Thorough “Prepping”
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I recently saw a picture of a woman whose body was unbelievable. I was still a little put off, though, because she posed in her lingerie in such a way where it was quite clear that it had been many moons since she had done any kind of landscaping down below (if you know what I mean). Look, I know some of y'all are team body hair. It is 1000 percent your right, sis. Do you. For the rest of us, it's important that we make sure to do some upkeep when it comes to body hair if we plan on rocking a suit.
Whether you wax or shave, make sure to get that done. Also, try and do it a couple of days before you plan on putting your suit on, especially if you want to get into the water. Sometimes hair removal processes can irritate the skin which means that your armpits, legs, etc. may need a little bit of time to "recover" first so that the chlorine or saltwater doesn't further irritate it (shea butter and Aloe vera can certainly speed up the healing process, by the way).
9. Make Your Skin Glow
I don't care who it is or what they've got on, one of the first things that I tend to notice about someone is their skin. Beautiful skin is the ultimate in every way! And while having flawless skin is probably the goal for most of us (check out "All-Natural Ways To Get Adult Body Acne Under Control"), I think it's important to also state that freckles, birthmarks and even scars can be quite beautiful. The main thing to focus on here is the quality of your skin. Exfoliate. Deeply moisturize. Hop out of the shower and put on a carrier oil like jojoba, grapeseed or coconut to make your skin appear absolutely radiant. You know what else can make this happen? Making your own bronzer and applying it to places like your shoulders and breasts. Glow, baby, glow!
10. Do an Impromptu Fashion Show
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I recently watched a video of a little baby being tossed into the water, only to almost immediately slightly arch its body and start to float. When someone asked me why I wasn't terrified to see the footage, I simply said, "Babies develop in water in their mother's womb. Water is their first home." That's why, when it comes to actually getting into the water, sometimes, even as adults, we need to stop overthinking and just do it.
When it comes to wearing a swimsuit in public? If you know you don't feel the best about doing it, take a step back and "model" to some family members or friends first. While this isn't so much to get their opinion (although that could prove to be helpful too), the main benefit is so you can feel more comfortable and confident around other humans while you're in swimwear overall. If you can feel good around folks you know and trust, it will give you the courage that you may need to be in your suit around complete strangers.
11. Meditate
While I get that this might sound a little crazy on the surface, think about it. A lot of times, our days end up going south because we start off all tense and anxious, right? Well, if those are the same emotions that you have when you go out in a swimsuit, it makes perfect sense to set aside 10-20 minutes to do a bit of meditating first. Especially since it's been proven that meditation helps to reduce stress, relieve anxiety, improve emotional health, decrease blood pressure and cause you to be kinder — including to yourself. So yeah, while you're in that super cute swimsuit, sit on the floor with your legs crossed and deep breathe in 10-30 five-second intervals before heading out of the door. Getting calm and thinking positive thoughts can be the icing on the cake of feeling more confident in your swimwear.
12. Actually Go Swimming in It
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Some of you might say that this is the biggest "duh" of all of the tips. But you know what, sometimes it's the most obvious things that need to be reiterated. You know how many folks say that we all look the same in the dark? This point, on some levels, applies once we're in water too. While some people like to sit out and tan or whatever, you've got that gorgeous melanin. Girl, at least go wade in the water! Because, at the end of the day, that's what a swimsuit is (ultimately) made for. Right? #wink
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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How Your Rising Sign Is The Key To Unlocking More Financial Abundance In Your Life
Abundance is a mindset and it's one you can obtain more effortlessly by knowing your birth chart. Your birth chart in Astrology reflects your cosmic blueprint for this lifetime and maps out things for you like your purpose, destiny, and financial potential. There are key ways to earn income or increase your finances and Astrology helps you dive into that. By knowing your financial strengths, weaknesses, and gifts, you can enhance the abundance surrounding you and align yourself more with what resonates.
In Astrology, there are a few areas of your birth chart that signify what your financial world looks like and have the potential to look at as well. Your 2nd house, rules your finances, personal income, and values, your 8th house rules your shared finances and the money you receive from partnerships or through marriage, and your 11th house rules your hopes and dreams, manifestations, and what you have accumulated through your career or business. The sign Venus also represents finances and luxury, and the placement of this planet is key to understanding your financial purpose as well.
We each come into this life with specific skill sets and perspectives that have the potential to help us live the life of our dreams and fulfill our intentions. By understanding where you tend to naturally thrive in life, you open the door to financial freedom and empowerment. What the stars say about your financial potential is the inspiration you need to walk through that door.
Read for your rising sign below to see how to unlock your key to abundance.
How Your Rising Sign Unlocks Abundance
ARIES RISING
Your key to unlocking abundance involves creating concrete, long-term, financial plans. With Taurus in the 2nd house, you have a natural gift for money and you know how to build something from the ground up. You create beauty, love, and stability in the world, and your ability to make people feel comfortable will help you financially succeed. Taurus in the 2nd house are collectors as well, and you have a good eye.
With Scorpio in your 8th house, the partnerships and connections you form help you increase your income and earnings. It’s not about overly relying on others financially, but knowing there is support there for you when you need it. Your financial potential overall involves how much you are dedicating yourself to your dreams and doing things that will provide stability and security in your life.
TAURUS RISING
As a Taurus Rising, you have Gemini in the 2nd house, and there are a lot of different avenues in which you can earn an income. You will most likely have multiple streams of income in fact, and your capacity to learn, grow, and expand financially is endless.
You thrive in communication, publication, and collaborative worlds, and your networking abilities will help you succeed in life.
By educating yourself and expanding your mind, you can use this knowledge to help you connect, sell, and raise awareness to others. With Pisces in the 11th house, you have lucky Jupiter helping you make your dreams come true and creating miracles in your life. No one sees things the way you do, use this to your advantage when it comes to your finances and goals here.
GEMINI RISING
For you, you are more emotionally tied to your finances and sense of stability than most. With Cancer in your 2nd house, you have a strong intuition regarding money matters, but you may also feel like things fluctuate a lot for you here. Your key to unlocking your personal abundance comes by finding the things that you hold value in, thinking about your purpose and the legacy you want to leave behind, and owning your nurturing abilities.
You are a natural caregiver, creator, and protector, and can thrive in roles such as these. Cancer in the 2nd house also shows an ability to earn through real estate, antiques, or investments. With Capricorn in the 8th house, your logic will help you execute your plans and goals, and you are always thinking one step ahead. People may underestimate you often, use this to your advantage.
CANCER RISING
As a Cancer Rising, you thrive when you are able to take charge and lead your creative efforts. With Leo in the 2nd house, you are a charismatic soul and you are meant to take center stage in life. Your creativity, confidence, and courage will set you apart from others, and you will financially succeed in roles where you have some type of authority or can express yourself freely.
With Aquarius in the 8th house, you may also find your financial power when it comes to technology or social media. You are a natural influencer and people want to know what you think about things and what your current obsessions are. You are the star of the show, remembering that is your key to unlocking your abundance in this lifetime.
LEO RISING
You have Virgo in the 2nd house, and unlocking your key to abundance involves getting organized, sticking to a routine, and doing things that benefit others or society in some way. You are typically found in roles that involve being of service and you also have a gift with your words. Careers such as writing, speaking, publishing, health roles, and healing treatments all serve you well.
With Gemini in the 11th house as well, you have a gift for networking, communication, building a group or a team, and succeeding in your collaborative efforts. Don’t let your need for perfection take you away from your potential regarding your ability to connect with others and build something inspiring. Your vision, partnerships, selfless attitude, and creativity will help you financially succeed.
VIRGO RISING
As a Virgo Rising, you are a hard worker and have a lot of beauty and wisdom to share with the world. You have Libra in the 2nd house, signifying a creative soul and someone who can earn an income through art, interior design, fashion, or therapeutic and beauty practices.
You have a gift when it comes to creating things appealing to the eye, and you resonate with the more luxurious spheres of life.
Aries in the 8th house signifies a drive to succeed, and you financially move through a lot of transformations in this lifetime that lead you closer to your dreams. Creating a business that you are passionate about or being a part of a legacy that creates something beautiful for the world, helps you financially succeed in life.
LIBRA RISING
Financially, you evolve over time. The key here for you with Scorpio in the 2nd house, is to trust your intuition when it comes to what to invest in and what to spend your time and energy on. Know that with any setback you may encounter financially, you will rise above more abundantly and successfully. You have a unique way of understanding the undercurrents and concept of money, use this to your advantage.
With Leo in the 11th house, you succeed when you are confident, standing out from the crowd, and doing things that feel authentic and natural for you. You are meant to shine and inspire others through your charisma, personality, and strong intuition.
SCORPIO RISING
With a Scorpio Rising, you have Sagittarius in the 2nd, and financial freedom is very important to you in this lifetime. You are working towards building a legacy for yourself through your wisdom, knowledge, and quest for understanding. You inspire others in your own unique way, and this is a placement for many teachers or guides in this world.
Virgo in the 11th house reminds you to get clear on the things you want for yourself and the plans or dedication it will take to get there. Your intelligence and your capacity to see all perspectives and express yourself in a grounded way is what is going to unlock your key to abundance.
SAGITTARIUS RISING
Financially, you have a lot of potential to succeed in this lifetime. With Capricorn in your 2nd house of income, you are business-savvy and have a knack for money. You know what the world needs more of, and you are the one to provide it. Through your work ethic and need to succeed, you are someone who can be found in higher positions within a business or company.
Cancer in the 8th house also shows that you find financial empowerment by dedicating yourself to a cause or career that holds deep importance for you and your heart. The people you meet along the way are also key to recognizing your dreams and financial abundance.
CAPRICORN RISING
As a Capricorn Rising, you have Aquarius in the 2nd house which shows a gift in community, networking, and social media. You are a trendsetter and are ahead of time when it comes to trends, fashion, and ideals. You have a unique vision and ability to succeed in this lifetime through your manifestation potential.
With Scorpio in the 11th house, you can build a team or an organization and lead yourself and others to success. Your acquaintances and friendships throughout life will help you meet the right people and get the right opportunities. You always need to be thinking big when it comes to your finances, and know that you have what it takes to succeed.
AQUARIUS RISING
For you, financial success comes from your imagination and your hope for it all. With Pisces in the 2nd house, you view your financial world through a spiritual and creative lens, and the opportunities for you in this lifetime are vast. You need a lot of freedom within your career and you need to be doing things that allow you to express your creativity.
With Sagittarius in the 11th house of your hopes and dreams, you will succeed when you are stepping out of your comfort zone, traveling, and exploring new things. Your knowledge combined with lucky Jupiter, makes you someone who is more lucky than most when it comes to making your financial dreams come true. Remain positive and know your path to abundance won’t look like everyone else's.
PISCES RISING
You have Aries in the 2nd house, and financially you feel empowered when you are going after your individual dreams and intentions and are in leadership roles. Entrepreneurship inspires you, and you know how to lead a team. Taking initiative when it comes to your financial world is key here, and you need a certain sense of freedom when it comes to your career and working life.
Libra in the 8th house signifies abundance through your love life, marriage, business partnerships, or commitments and people are more willing to lend you a helping hand than most, use this to your advantage. Overall, your key to abundance is taking initiative, creating things never seen before, and using your charming personality to attract the support you need to succeed.
Love is cute and all, but building an empire together? That’s the real flex. Tap into our new series Making Cents to see what financial compatibility really looks like when love and legacy go hand in hand.
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Featured image by Igor Alecsander/Getty Images
Originally published on February 6, 2025