

After a 72-hour migraine, I found myself in an emergency room with debilitating pain. The doctor found nothing wrong and my vitals were all clear. Yet, the headaches persisted, and I knew this was something deeper. For months, my energy had been decreasing and the easiest tasks had to be broken up into parts. I was exhausted. Not your average get a good night's rest and wake up refreshed, but the kind of exhaustion that tires out every fiber in your body, forcing you to have several seats without consent. I was experiencing burnout.
The stress of trying to be the magical black girl, doing all things for all people, all while keeping up my social calendar after losing my job and trying not to lose my cool. My body was taxed and the stress manifested in form of migraines, stomach pain, and fatigue. Burnout is a state of emotional, physical, and mental exhaustion caused by excessive and prolonged stress. It occurs when you feel overwhelmed, emotionally drained, and unable to meet constant demands.
This wasn't the first time I've experienced this. In undergrad, after returning from a semester abroad, I received the news that two of my classes wouldn't be accepted. This forced me into overdrive since my ego wouldn't allow me not to graduate on time. I took 18 credits in the fall, 3 credits during the winter session, 22 credits in the spring, which required approval from the dean, and 6 credits in the summer. I did all this while commuting and working part-time.
You may say I have a penchant for working in high-stress situations; I would say I didn't know how to function otherwise.
Many of us don't know when we're dealing with burnout or chronic burnout. Common symptoms of burnout include:
- Development of an escapist mentality
- Feeling empty inside
- Obsession over problems at work or in life
- Pessimistic outlook on work and life
- Physical symptoms intensify and/or increase
- Self-doubt
- Social isolation
- Behavioral changes
- Chronic headaches
- Chronic stomach or bowel problems
- Complete neglect of personal needs
- Continuation or increase in escapist activities
- Desire to "drop out" of society
- Desire to move away from work or friends/family
According to Fast Company:
"Millennials are called the burnout generation. High-achieving perfectionists–especially self-critical ones–work hard to avoid failure and put themselves at higher risk of burnout. We graduated college with the pressure to be 'successful,' and we've been told that means aiming (and climbing) for the top of the pyramid."
I've had many peaks and valleys in my life and throughout my career and each came with its own set of lessons. Now I know the only way for me to get out of this rut was to tell the truth, first to myself, and then to others. As painful as it is, introspection is a necessary first step in your healing journey. Think about your personal life. Do you have social support, and work-life balance? What about your job? Do you feel in control of your career, have clear job expectations, and feel like the work is a "fit" for your skills, or interests? If you answer "no" to these, you may be honing in on the areas of your life that could be setting you up for burnout.
If you're experiencing burnout, here's how to get through it:
1. Make Gratitude Your Constant Companion
Gratitude is the ultimate sign of being thankful. Honoring the journey allows you to stay current and connected to the issues at hand.
2. Schedule Content In Advance
Batching goes a long way for your blog, social media, or podcast. The same goes for email. If you respond to an email on a Sunday, use an app like Boomerang to schedule it to send at 9 a.m. on Monday. And if you're a fan of Gmail, you can also now schedule your emails to send through your desktop version of the platform.
3. Manage Expectations And Delegate
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Outsource work and build a supportive network of people you can rely on when you need help.
4. Create And Stick To Your Boundaries
Most of us don't realize that "no" is a complete sentence. It's time to put your big girl panties on and let them know they cannot and will not take advantage of you.
5. Make Space For Joy
Put on your favorite music, drop it low, and pick it back up. This could also include meditation, reading, or enjoying your favorite TV show.
6. Take A Nature Break
The sun naturally energizes you. Take your lunch break and go for a walk, you deserve it.
7. Above All Things, Get Your Rest
You must prioritize your sleep when recovering from burnout. Prepare for sleep 2-3 hours before bed by setting a nighttime routine, this could include defining your working hours, meal-prepping in advance, and whatever you find necessary.
I want you to know that burnout shouldn't be praised as a marker of hard work or success, but an indicator that self-care is needed. Take the break, sis.
Sign up for our weekly newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
Minimize Burnout: This Is What Self-Care Looks Like For The xoNecole Staff
Stop Playing Catch Up & Do This Instead
Lessons I Learned In The Stillness Of Recovery
I Tried Flotation As An Act Of Self-Care & It Changed The Game
Did you know that xoNecole has a podcast? Subscribe on Apple Podcasts or Spotify to join us for weekly convos over cocktails (without the early morning hangover.)
Featured image by Shutterstock
- The Tell-Tale Signs Of Burnout & What To Do About It - xoNecole ... ›
- What Happened When I Tried Energy Healing For Burnout ... ›
- Overtime Is So Over: A Few Tips To Prevent Burnout - xoNecole ... ›
- I Tried Flotation Therapy As An Act Of Self-Care & It Changed The ... ›
- I Tried Energy Healing, Guide - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- 10 Foods That Trigger Migraines - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- How To Recover From Burnout - xoNecole: Women's Interest, Love, Wellness, Beauty ›
- Avoid Burnout Before You're Already Burned Out - The New York ... ›
- 5 Proven (and Not Obvious) Ways to Avoid Burning Out | Inc.com ›
- 7 Strategies to Prevent Burnout | Psychology Today ›
- How to Avoid Burnout: Marissa Mayer - Bloomberg ›
- 13 Ways the Busiest People Ever Avoid Burnout | The Muse ›
- Work Stress and Burnout Among Nurses: Role of the Work ... ›
- How to Identify and Prevent Burnout ›
- Avoiding Burnout - Stress Management Training From MindTools.com ›
- Stress, burnout, and strategies for reducing them ›
- How to Prevent Employee Burnout ›
- How to Minimize Stress and Avoid Burnout | Goop ›
Ayana Iman is a certified life coach, professional speaker, and mama of one based in New Jersey. She's also known for her love of big hair, travel, and cooking. Find her across social @AyanaIman.
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Swipe Right For Sisterhood: Reginae Carter Talks Teaming Up With BLK To Make Friendships Front & Center
You know the vibes: dating apps aren’t just for finding romance anymore—at least not for Gen Z! As young people continue to redefine connection, BLK, the leading dating app for Black singles, is shaking things up with the launch of Social Mode. The new feature allows users to toggle between dating and platonic connections. Yep, you read that right—friendship is now just as easy to find as love.
To kick off this game-changing launch, BLK teamed up with TV personality and socialite Reginae Carter for the ultimate Girls’ Night In, proving that sisterhood is just as important as romance. The exclusive event was a celebration of the new feature and the power of Black women coming together to uplift one another.
“Your circle is everything,” Reginae shares with a smile, and she’s not wrong. She’s all about creating spaces where we can come together, let our hair down, and vibe with like-minded women. “We deserve spaces to meet, uplift, and vibe with each other. BLK is making that happen,” she adds.
A New Era for Friendships—Social Mode Is Here!
Gen Z is all about building meaningful connections, whether it’s with a date or a new brunch buddy. That’s why Social Mode is such a big deal. Research shows that 65% of Gen Z values friendships just as much as romantic relationships. With BLK’s new feature, users can easily toggle between “Dating” and “Social,” opening up a world of platonic connections—no swiping right required.
Bahja Rodriguez, Reginae Carter, Breaunna Womack, Lourdes Rodriguez and Zonnique Pullins attend OMG Girlz "Make A Scene" Single Release & Video Viewing Party at Trap City Cafe on March 27, 2025 in Atlanta, Georgia
Photo by Prince Williams/WireImage
Reginae Carter Hosts the Ultimate Girls’ Night In—Powered by BLK Social Mode
What better way to show Social Mode in action than with an exclusive Girls’ Night In, hosted by Reginae? The event brought together top influencers, tastemakers, and press for a night of luxury, self-care, and real talk about love, sex, and relationships. From tarot readings to perfume-making and signature cocktails, the evening embodied the “soft life” vibe that many Black women are embracing in 2025—peaceful, intentional, and full of joy.
Guests mingled, laughed, and bonded over the importance of finding a tribe that supports you. It wasn’t just about fun (although there was plenty of that!)—it was about creating a circle of inspiring, strong women. “We need to stick together. We need to be each other’s village,” Reginae says, emphasizing the power of community over competition.
Sisterhood: The Real MVP
For Reginae, it’s all about friendship—and not just the surface-level kind. “We need friends who keep it real with us. The ones who can tell us when we’re right, when we’re wrong, and when we need to calm down,” she says. As someone who navigates the spotlight, she’s got the best of both worlds: friends who understand the grind and those who can give her an honest, grounded perspective.
Her advice for building strong, intentional friendships? “Be confident in yourself and know your worth,” she explains. “Also, hurt people hurt people, so make sure you’re coming from a good place when you’re building relationships. It’s not always about being nice—sometimes it’s about being real.”
Reginae couldn’t have summed it up better: “When you have the right circle, the right tribe, everything just feels easier. And that’s exactly what BLK is giving us—space to connect, laugh, and grow with each other.”
To learn more about BLK’s Social Mode, download or update the BLK app in the App Store or Google Play Store today. Who knows? You might just find your new bestie or your next brunch crew.
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Feature image by Prince Williams/WireImage