I'm squeezing every ounce of goodness out of 2021. As we all experienced, 2020 was nonstop madness. While there has been extreme loss, anxiety on a galactic level, deep loneliness, and every emotion in the dictionary, I managed to achieve one huge life goal before my 27th birthday in December. I paid Sallie Mae back! (Yes, please imagine me dancing.) While it's uncomfortable to share about this journey because finances are so personal, I believe the one thing we all need right now is good news. It was through watching other people who I related to that made me see that paying off my debt was possible.
Like most things in America, the current student-debt crisis is out of this world. This year the student-debt crisis hit an ultimate high.
"There are 45 million borrowers who collectively owe nearly $1.6 trillion in student loan debt. In the U.S. Student loan debt is now the second highest consumer debt category - behind only mortgage debt - and higher than both credit cards and auto loans," according to Forbes.
Even with these staggering numbers, the student-debt crisis disproportionately impacts Black families. On average, a Black graduate has $7,400 more in student debt than his or her white peer, according to Brookings Institution, a nonprofit public policy organization based in Washington, D.C.
When I first decided to pay off my student loans, I was freshly laid-off from my "dream job" as a breaking news reporter and living in my childhood bedroom in Columbus, Ohio, as a 20-something, feeling like a complete failure. Even though navigating this season was difficult, I kept one quote on the forefront of my mind by Dave Ramsey: "Live like no one else so that you can live like no one else."
I celebrated paying off my debt with an uplifting photoshoot to showcase that women are worthy of celebration outside of the traditional norms such as marriage and having babies. All which I desire in time, but until then I'm focused on blooming.
There are plenty of factors that impact our financial health, most of which are out of our control. If you're looking to take the next step so you can stop being a slave to your money and break free from the bondage of debt, here are some of the actions I implemented to pay off my $30,000 student loan debt.
1.Make a Plan.
Make a plan to approach payding down debt from a strategic level.
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It may sound simple, but making a solid plan is not as easy as it looks. When paying down debt, I think it's best to approach it from a strategic level. I never really knew how much debt I had. It was some elusive number; I believed I'd never pay off.
I went to a private art-school out of state and graduated in 2016. I had a ballpark idea of how much debt I was in but brushed it off. I ignored, deferred, ignored again, deferred again. Rinse and repeat. I was confused about the process since I had transferred schools. It felt like I had student loans coming from everywhere.
I was paying off both my unsubsidized and subsidized loans from college, which totaled to nearly $30,000. One way I was able to decrease the debt I took out was by applying for grants, scholarships and becoming a resident advisor for two years.
Before I got serious about paying off my debt, I made the minimum payments. One of the main tools that help me develop a straightforward and easy to understand debt strategy is Undebt.it. This site populated a free debt payoff plan after I imput my information. I also recommend using tools like Snowball Wealth, which helps organize all your debt in one place, and provides resources to help you pay it down.
The avalanche debt payment method worked best for my situation, but many people also use the snowball method. These are common terms, but here's a breakdown of what each one is according to CNBC:
"Snowball method: Prioritizes paying your debt from the smallest balance to largest, regardless of interest rate.
"Avalanche: you pay off the balance with the highest APR first, then work your way through all your debt from highest to lowest APR. Some financial experts prefer this method because you end up paying less overall in interest."
Once I had my plan ready to go, it was time to secure the bag.
2.Secure the Bag—All of It.
I paid above the minimum balance each month. I attacked my debt. I was able to do this by decreasing my expenses. At the time, I lived at home for roughly six months. Living in my childhood bedroom was a huge help, and I could save and knock out so much debt. I hear millennials complaining all the time about moving back in with their parents. If you're fortunate enough to live back home for a season, then I would highly suggest it and be grateful for the opportunity. But after living at home, I moved into a studio apartment and then decided to get a roommate. Figuring out housing can be tricky, but anyway you can decrease this expense, the better.
Anytime during my debt-free journey, I had about two to three jobs. I mainly did freelance work, including writing, social media managing, and website design. As 2020 has shown, no job is ever guaranteed. I learned that hard lesson early after being laid-off from two jobs before I turned 25.
I did freelance gigs in addition to my full-time job as a weekend social media editor. Negotiating my salary was vital and made a difference in my budget each month, which allowed me to make larger payments. It's an old and true saying, but closed mouths don't get fed. Here are more tips on how to negotiate your salary. It's a must!
3.Find Community.
While your debt is solely your responsibility, you don't have to walk this journey alone! One source of encouragement I had to kick-start my journey was watching my coworker pay off over $100,000 in student loan debt. What?! Don't be afraid to ask questions. I asked my colleague a million questions about debt, and I didn't care if I looked crazy in the process.
There's a vast debt-free community online of people sharing resources, tips, and advice. Join them! Two of my favorites financial educators to follow are Tiffany the Budgetnista and Leo Jean-Louis.
Also, talk to your trusted friends about money. Throughout this journey, I would have money talks with a close girlfriend of mine. We would get transparent about our money goals, downfalls, and everything in between! Normalizing talking about money is something we should all strive to do.
4.Practice Discipline
Practice discipline by starting a budget and sticking to it.
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Yes, you need a budget. But even more so, you need the discipline to execute and stick to that budget.
I started having weekly money meetings with myself. Was I perfect at it? Of course not. But I was consistent. I created a debt-free journal to help me stay sane during the process and to track my progress. In this journal, I wrote down prayers, wrote encouragement notes to myself, congratulated myself for the small wins, and reminded myself of my "why" behind paying off my student loans.
And what's my why? For me, it's being able to do what God has called me to do freely, designing a life of my dreams, building generational wealth for my family, and investing in my travel business, Girl Around The Globe, plus so many other things.
Being free of my student loans is one step towards my financial wholeness goals. Now, I'm looking to start investing actively (send help!), and I plan on knocking out the remainder of my credit card debt by Q1 or Q2 of 2021.
It doesn't matter how much you have in debt or how long it takes for you to pay it off. Life is not a race. All that matters is that you're trying and being consistent.
I believe in you, sis!
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RELATED
Taja, an actress known most for her role on BET’s The Oval, and businessman/model Ryan Easter tied the knot on July 27 in an intimate and beautiful wedding in LA - surrounded by friends and family. During our 40+ minute conversation, the newlyweds opened up about the inner work journey they both went through individually to become their best selves.
Taja revealed that her grateful and light spirit came after being in a depressive state and doing a great deal of healing and education. And Ryan shared how losing a parent as a youth affected how he showed up in the world and the truths he had to face to embrace who he is wholly.
The pair also chatted about the power of intention, the importance of working through trauma, and the work they do every day to honor their partnership. There’s a reason their glow is so beautiful! It comes from the inside.
“You're meeting me now after I've done all this work, but I had to go through it to get to that space and be in a very happy, healed relationship,” Taja says. Check out the layered conversation below.
xoNecole: I’ll start with the most obvious question: how did you two meet, and what were your initial feelings about each other?
Ryan Easter: We connected through friends. At the time, I was in New York, and she was back and forth between LA and Atlanta. But our mutual female friends were together and decided they needed to set me up. So they confirmed I was looking for something serious and then sent me her picture.
And I was like, "Okay, she looks good - a chocolate drop." But then I thought, "What's wrong with her? So, I called them up, and one of them was messing with me and said, "Oh, she's a little crazy." I was like, "Whoa, I can't do crazy anymore. I've dealt with that before. I’d rather stay by myself than deal with that again." Then she clarified, "No, I'm just kidding. She's crazy in a good way. She's a lot of fun and has her stuff together. That’s how it started for me.
Taja Simpson: I was just going about my life, getting ready for another season of The Oval, when I got a text from my friend Natasha. She said, "Hey, I don't think you're dating anybody, but I have a friend I think you should meet. He's a great guy." She gave me this huge pedigree, saying they had been friends for 19 years. I thought, "Wow, he sounds amazing." But when she sent me a photo, I didn’t like it.
Later, I thought about it and figured it could just not be a good picture. So she sent his Instagram which had all these modeling fitness pictures and stuff. And then I was like, wow - you had my whole husband this time and didn’t tell me - now I told her she could give him my number.
"I was just going about my life, getting ready for another season of The Oval, when I got a text from my friend Natasha. She said, "Hey, I don't think you're dating anybody, but I have a friend I think you should meet. He's a great guy." She gave me this huge pedigree, saying they had been friends for 19 years. I thought, "Wow, he sounds amazing." But when she sent me a photo, I didn’t like it."
Taja Simpson & Ryan Easter
Photo by @jorgemezaphotos
xoN: I love that because, you know, there's all these conversations about the ways people meet, and I still feel like friends and family are one of the best ways. It’s like they know you! What are your thoughts?
Ryan: Yeah, absolutely! You feel a great sense of obligation to be the best version of yourself because you’re not just representing yourself; you’re also representing the person who referred you. I can’t go out there acting like a fool and have them looking at their friend like, "Why did you hook me up with this clown?" It’s like, we're gonna be clear and honest about our intentions. And if it works, great, and if it doesn't, it's okay.
Taja: Exactly. When he called, we spoke that day for like, an hour. The rest was history. We just connected, and it was great. After that, we started talking every day, and now here we are.
xoN: Okay, so tell me about your first date! Do you remember where you went? What did you do? How was the vibe?
Taja: Our first in-person date was two months after we met over the phone. This was during COVID, so we got introduced in July 2020 but didn’t meet until September. From July to September, we were doing video dates and phone calls, building up this excitement about meeting in person. I was really nervous. I thought, "Oh my God, is it going to be like it was over the phone?" We really connected and vibed. I was there to pick him up at LAX, and I felt like this was it. I thought, "God put this brother in my life to be this good, this perfect." It felt too good to be true.
I actually had a friend meet us at the airport to film our meeting without him knowing. I told her to stay in the corner and keep the camera hidden. When he was coming down the escalator, I had this whole plan to run up to him in slow motion and jump into his arms. When I saw him, I froze. I was so nervous that I couldn’t move! He came up to me, gave me a big hug, and swung me around, and I just thought, "Wow!" Everything I planned went out the window.
Ryan: I was really excited to meet her, too. Technically, our first date was at Firestone Brewery. After the airport, we went back to her place to drop off my stuff, and then she said, "I like to drink beer," so she took me to a brewery nearby.
I remember being there, and we were kind of embracing, but not too much since it was technically the first time we were in physical proximity. You still have to play it cool, even after talking for a while. But every time I touched her, it felt good. I thought, "Yeah, this is it." When we hugged at the airport, I felt like, "Yo, this is home." At that moment, I knew she was the one.
xoN: Ugh, I love that. So when did the courtship start to develop into a relationship? Did y'all have that conversation?
Ryan: Initially, we were very clear about our intentions. We were both dating with purpose and had similar aspirations of eventually finding someone to marry, start a family, create businesses together, and live our lives to the fullest. We knew from the beginning that this was our goal and checked in with each other to see if we were on the same page.
After establishing our intentions, it was about having those small conversations. We discussed what was important to each of us—our needs, wants, likes, dislikes, triggers, and traumas. All those details are crucial for building a solid foundation for a healthy relationship. We spent a lot of time getting to know the real person, not just the representative we might present to the world.
Sometimes, it’s difficult because it requires us to be extremely vulnerable. For men, especially in our society, vulnerability is often frowned upon, making it hard to expose that sensitive side. You never know how people will react—some might use it against you, while others might protect you.
I think for her; it took her understanding that mentality that men have and use that to her advantage to make sure she's like, look, this is a safe space for you to allow me to see the full person that you are. I appreciated that because, like, I would tell her, if you really want a man to value you, he has to feel safe with you, right, not necessarily in a physical capacity but more so from an emotional standpoint; I need to feel like I can be safe with you emotionally.
So that courtship was a lot of just having those serious, sometimes difficult conversations about things we're going through in the past to things we aspire to accomplish in the future, to things that we're currently dealing with, and started to gain that understanding about who we are and what we aspire to be, and just continue to flow.
"So that courtship was a lot of just having those serious, sometimes difficult conversations about things we're going through in the past to things we aspire to accomplish in the future, to things that we're currently dealing with, and started to gain that understanding about who we are and what we aspire to be, and just continue to flow."
Taja: I mean, that's exactly right, and a lot of it we spoke about even before we met. Because it was this free thing where we didn’t know each other. We didn't have to be a representative. I was just my authentic self. It’s like - I'm an actor, and I got five or six characters that may come out in our conversation. I'll be funny, then the next moment, I'll be serious. It just happens.
I was very vocal about how I foresee my life going. Also, because I'm in entertainment, that played a part. I had met people before who couldn't handle that. They wanted a woman with a nine-to-five, a teacher, or just somebody with a very strict schedule. But that wasn't me. So I think we were super intentional when it came to dating and making sure we can build and grow together. So, we made that commitment prior to him leaving. He came to LA for a week, and the day before he left, it was like, okay, so this is it.
xoN: I’ve noticed that intention and vulnerability are both powerful words that you two keep using, which I think is essential for any long-term relationship. What are some of your other shared values?
Ryan: Also, we both understood the power of mindset. When you see successful or unsuccessful people, sometimes others will attribute their state to their family or money. And I'm not saying that that doesn't help. But there are a lot of people who have come from very humble beginnings and very troubled past that have gone on to do great things, and it all had to do with their mindset. They had to leave and see themselves doing what they desired to do before it became a reality in the physical realm.
I think a lot of those beliefs and mentalities that we shared was refreshing because, you know, we've all known people that every time you talk to them, something bad is going on. And it's such a drag because they can bring your energy down. We don't subscribe to that. Not saying that we don't go through tough times. But when we do, the question that we always ask ourselves is, what is it that I'm supposed to learn from this? I think those type of elements of just being in alignment mentally about how we view the world definitely help to solidify our relationship and our connection.
Taja: When we met, I was in a headspace of growth. We now call it believe, evolve, become because you have to believe that thing right in order to show up. We both understand that your vibration precedes your manifestation, so you have to vibrate and believe at a certain level. Act as if you have to be in that space, that energy, in order for that thing to come so you can evolve and then become whatever that said thing is. But I was in that headspace before we met, and I was clearing out people in my life.
I was really intentional with finding someone that was in that headspace, too. I was not okay with anyone being stagnant.
Taja Simpson & Ryan Easter
Photo by @jorgemezaphotos
xoN: You two seem so evolved individually and collectively. I'm curious, were there any challenges that you two had to get through together, and what did you learn from that experience?
Ryan: Being parents. And if your partner doesn't have a great pregnancy, then it can be tough, and it stretches you in a lot of ways. But I would definitely say the first five months of being new parents was a lot because we were both exhausted. And she's also trying to heal her body because giving birth puts a tremendous amount of stress on the woman's body. It gives you a different respect for the strength of femininity because I wouldn't want to go through that. And I was there the whole 29 hours.
So during that time I'm getting snappy because I need to rest. I have not been able to rest, and I'm sleep-deprived, and I don't feel like I got my foot in yet. And, and then, on top of that, you have this, this really small human that's completely dependent upon you. They can't do anything for himself, and that, even psychologically, that's a lot to carry. But the thing that I think that has helped us is that we understand that we won't always be on the same page. It's okay to have disagreements, but you always have to lead with love, meaning that if I'm upset with her or she's upset with me, we focus on what the issue is.
Taja: I had a horrible pregnancy and was still feeling like I want to be productive; it’s just part of who I am. And during the newborn phase, like he said, we were exhausted. We were zombies. I'm getting whiny. I need sleep. He's getting snappy and short, and we're having to figure out us. The hardest thing is trying to still learn how to effectively communicate in the midst of this space where you are exhausted; you don't feel good, nothing's going your way.
But I'm a big believer of being accountable, especially for women, because women are not always accountable. But we encourage each other to address the trauma and encourage positive self-thought and talk. Because what you think, speak, and do creates power for better and worse.
xoN: Were there any past traumas you had to heal from in order to love each other correctly, and do you feel comfortable discussing them?
Ryan: For me, the biggest thing was my father’s death at nine. You’re young, and you don’t know how to process the loss. It’s one of those things I thought I dealt with, but when I got into my adult years, I realized it didn’t. I always felt like I had to go above and beyond because I didn’t have my father there to be a man - I excelled in sports and academics, but it was based on an inadequate feeling.
I understand the importance of fathers in children’s life but you still have the power to be the best version of yourself whether your father is there or not. And I believe the almighty Creator will put people in your life to be the best version of yourself. I wanted to be that confident person for her and our children - and I didn’t want to carry that trauma into our relationship or our son. So I worked on it before us and I continue to now.
Taja: Mine was colorism. I grew up where the brown paper bag thing was a thing. There were kids I couldn’t play with because “I was too Black.” I had a family member who called me “Ew.” Like she’d literally say, come here, Ew, you ugly thing. And my family, for a long time, didn’t realize how it was breaking me. But eventually, my mom noticed and taught me more about self-esteem and then I started to do the work. But it still shows its head. I still would have thoughts that I’m not good enough because of how I look. I’ve literally not tried out for roles because of that. One of my friends’ friends has literally called out once that I was the only dark person at an event.
So when I started doing the work, I noticed the ways it showed up, like I just wouldn’t want to be in the sun long. I mean when I was younger, I used to pray to God to make me “better” or lighter. It took a long time to really get over that. There’s a book I wrote called Women Who Shine - where I got my thoughts out about this.
So he knows my sensitive spots and speaks to the little girl in me. It's so interesting how the things we go through when we’re young affect us in adulthood. Mental health is as important as physical health - and I’m grateful that he understands the importance of both of those.
xoN: Thank you for your vulnerability. I hope it helps someone else. Finally, I’ll close with this: what’s your favorite thing about each other?
Ryan: Definitely her mindset. She doesn’t have a victim mindset; she’s empowered. That’s so attractive. I believe that she prides herself on being a good, great communicator. She moves with integrity, you know, I think that's important. And you know, she also understands the importance of taking care of her physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing.
Taja: There’s so many. Where do I start? My husband is supremely supportive. I absolutely love that about him. Also, I love his intention. I love how effectively he communicates. I love how he fathers our child. I love how he looks. Because, praise God. Okay, I'm just gonna put that out there.
But you know what, my favorite thing about him is that I love that he's a man of integrity.
Integrity was the highest things on my list when I’d write out what I wanted in a partner. Because it’s everything. And so I love that I feel the level of safety that I feel with him, that I can completely be my 100% authentic self. I know that he's taking care of me, my heart, and our family. We're good.
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Feature image by @jorgemezaphotos
