How I Paid Off My $46,000 Debt: 5 Key Takeaways For Your Financial Freedom
I prayed for the moment when I could call up the bank rep and confirm my final credit card payment. "$1,884.28." That’s what she told me after I said this would be the last payment that would make me debt-free. I would’ve paid it online, but I wanted to make sure that the last of the interest was accounted for. I wanted to see that account balance at zero when it was all said and done. I wanted to truly be free.
Over three years, I paid off a total of $46,217.24—eight credit cards, one personal loan, and a pesky bill from the dentist. It wasn’t just a financial accomplishment but a personal victory that taught me invaluable lessons about perseverance, sacrifice, and financial discipline. This journey wasn’t easy—it was filled with setbacks, emotional roadblocks, and countless hours of hard work.
The truth about money is that it’s more of a mental game than anything. You have to believe you deserve better and that you’re capable of living a life that others only dream about. Then, you have to put in the work to bring that dream to fruition.
Here’s how I paid off my debt and five essential takeaways that can help you on your path to becoming debt-free.
Takeaway 1: Start Small, but Start
My journey began in October 2017 when I was living in a tiny bedroom in Los Angeles, sharing a house with six strangers. Despite juggling multiple jobs, including freelance writing and catering, I found myself drowning financially. I had tried to get out of debt before, but without a clear strategy, I never made much progress. That’s when I discovered Dave Ramsey’s The Total Money Makeover, which introduced me to the concept of “baby steps.” I quickly saved $1,000 and began paying off my debts from smallest to largest. The progress felt encouraging, but the reality of my situation would soon hit hard.
One of the most significant challenges in tackling debt is simply getting started. Begin with small steps, like saving an emergency fund or paying off the smallest debt first. The momentum you build from these small victories will keep you motivated as you tackle larger debts.
Takeaway 2: Prepare for Setbacks
As the winter season approached in Los Angeles, my catering gigs dried up, leaving me financially vulnerable. I worked through the holidays, sacrificing time with family to earn extra money. But by January, after multiple job rejections and no income in one of the most expensive cities in the U.S., I decided to move back to Atlanta. The transition wasn’t easy—months of unemployment, draining my savings, and relying on the generosity of my grandparents took an emotional toll. Despite these challenges, I remained focused on my goal.
Life is unpredictable, and setbacks are inevitable. Whether it’s an unexpected job loss, a medical emergency, or a family crisis, having a plan to navigate these challenges is crucial. Build a safety net that can help you stay on track even when things don’t go as planned.
Takeaway 3: Sacrifice for Your Future Self
In July 2018, I resumed my debt-free journey with renewed determination. I took on side hustles like Uber Eats and freelance work in addition to my 9-to-5 job to increase my income. I drastically cut my expenses, forgoing luxuries like hair and nail appointments, dining out, and vacations. Every extra dollar went toward my debt.
By 2019, I sold my leased car to eliminate the burden of car payments, insurance, and gas. At the time, I lived within walking distance of my job and was in a walkable part of the city, so while it wasn’t optimal, it wasn’t a huge inconvenience to not have transportation. The journey was long, and at times, I felt isolated, especially when friends and family continued living lives that seemed carefree in comparison. But one thing I learned was that a lot of people can’t truly afford the lifestyle they share on social media. I often had to remind myself that short-term fun wasn’t worth long-term strain.
Paying off debt requires sacrifices. Whether it’s cutting back on dining out, skipping vacations, or taking on extra work, these sacrifices are temporary. The freedom you gain from being debt-free is worth far more than the short-term pleasures you might give up while on your journey.
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Takeaway 4: Focus on Your "Why"
As I paid off more debt, I faced emotional exhaustion. I lived in a noisy apartment that made it hard to sleep, couldn’t afford to move, and felt the strain of watching others enjoy luxuries I couldn’t.
However, I reminded myself that my sacrifices were paving the way for a better future. I wanted a life where I could buy things and go places without worrying about a bill waiting for me when the dust settled. I wanted to have the freedom to do work that I cared about without worrying about how quickly the money would come back to me. I wanted to be in the position to take care of my mom and grandparents—pay off their homes and ensure they have the best care so that they could actually enjoy their later years.
I wanted to build wealth for myself and my future family so that one day my kids could live a life and choose careers that they really wanted, not just random jobs for a paycheck. I wanted to be able to give and invest without wondering how I was going to be able to provide for myself, to support my church, my people, and my community.
In short, I wanted to live a life that many people never lived, and I didn’t want to wait until I was near my 70s and retired to live it.
When the journey gets tough, and it will, remind yourself why you started. Whether it’s to provide a better future for your family, achieve financial independence, or live a life free from the stress of debt, keep your “why” front and center. It will help you stay committed even when the road seems never-ending.
Takeaway 5: Celebrate Your Wins
In the last six months of my journey, I allowed myself to enjoy some small luxuries again, like moving into a better apartment and taking a couple of trips—paid in cash, of course. While I might have paid off my debt sooner without these indulgences, they were essential for maintaining my mental health. On July 15, 2020, I made my final payment and crossed the finish line as a debt-free champion.
As you make progress, don’t forget to celebrate your wins, big or small. Whether it’s paying off a credit card, saving an emergency fund, or finally becoming debt-free, acknowledging your achievements is important. It reinforces your progress and keeps you motivated for the next goal.
Paying off $46,000 in debt was one of the most challenging yet rewarding experiences of my life. The journey taught me discipline, resilience, and the importance of staying focused on my long-term goals.
Recently, I was asked for my advice to someone who is on a similar journey. My answer: Stay prayed up. Stay focused. Surround yourself with people who support you and don’t drain you. And if you don’t have anyone, find them in other communities—your church, Facebook groups, YouTube, etc. Know that you’re not alone on your journey. And when times really get hard, remember why you started. You’ll be grateful that you didn’t quit once you’re on the other side.
Want to read more about my debt-free journey? Check out the original post on Write On Kiah for the full story and share your own experience in the comments!
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Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
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Alaska Wasn’t On My Bucket List, But My Glacier Adventure Made Me A Believer
We all have bucket list destinations at the top of our lists. I visited one of those at the top of 2024: Japan! But what happens when you get an opportunity to go someplace that wasn’t on it? For me, that was Alaska. Now, I’d submitted my short film to the Anchorage International Film Festival, genuinely thinking it would be a long shot to get in with a short film about fibroids and Black women’s health.
However, to my surprise, I received an email that read: “It’s with great excitement that we announce your film, Super High: A Period Piece, has been selected for the 24th Anchorage International Film Festival.” After looking at the flight distance from Atlanta to Anchorage—a solid 10 hours one way— I’d decided this would be one I wouldn’t attend.
That was until there was a follow-up email that shared that the festival was sponsoring two excursions for filmmakers: A Northern Lights Tour and A Glacier Hike.
With that, I knew I had to make the trip to the 49th state! I flew Delta, which offered the shortest layovers—just 50 minutes each way. For a more comfortable flight on the longer legs that were about six hours between my layover city and Anchorage, I upgraded to first class with an in-app discount for $256 (the regular price of a first-class ticket runs about $2,100), which was so worth it for additional space and service for the six-hour trek.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
"So What’s Alaska Like? Did You Have To Wear a Snowsuit? What’s the Food Like?"
These are among the major questions I’ve gotten. Anchorage reminds me less of a bustling major city and more of a small town with an easygoing feel. When I arrived, they’d just had snow a few days before, so it was cold, and the streets were slick. So, I was so happy I’d invested in a pair of snow boots. For my first few days, the locals said it was warm. Warm to them being 20s at night and mid-30s during the day.
However, by the time I left, fresh snow was on the ground, and temps were well into the single digits—and it felt like it. Oh, the sun doesn’t rise until 10:30 a.m., and it sets around 4 p.m. That was among the most challenging things to experience because I felt like I never really woke up. So, between the lack of sun and the four-hour time difference, I felt tired the whole time I was there.
As for food, I didn’t explore a ton because I was so cold. But I found two gems! First was Whiskey and Ramen. If you enjoy ramen and exceptional service, this is a must-visit. I’d make a trip back just for their Wagyu ramen and their special take on an old fashion!
And, for coffee, I thoroughly enjoyed That Feeling Co. The coffee was great, and being surrounded by plants helped to perk up my spirits.
The Northern Lights
Iceland is one of the most popular places to see the Northern Lights, so I was very excited to know that Alaska also gets to see the Aurora Borealis light show. Typically, many people visit Fairbanks to see them, but there are tours offered in Anchorage too! When prepping for the late-night tour, we’d heard that the night we were heading out to see the lights, the cloud coverage likely meant we wouldn’t be able to see them. Bummer. I know. So, we could sit the tour out or still try. But, in my mind, I was like, why would I come all the way to Alaska not to try?
So, at about 9:30 p.m., we piled into vans and headed out to chase the Northern Lights. We traveled about an hour and a half from Anchorage, and when we stepped out of the van, it was cold and pitch black. And unfortunately, after a couple of hours in the cold, those clouds in the sky never parted for us. I know that when we see the posts of people who do get to see Mother Nature do her thing, we don’t have all of the context of the science, which is Aurora Borealis.
Sometimes, the weather just doesn’t do what we earthlings would like, which can lead to disappointment. However, our guide did give a recommendation. When you book a trip to see the lights, give yourself four to five days to see them. Don’t bank on one day because, at the end of the day, this is science.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Now, On to the Glacier!
Just six hours after returning from the Northern Lights tour, we were up for the glacier tour because they were back-to-back! I was exhausted and so excited. If someone had told me I’d hike on a glacier, I would have given them a mean side-eye. I mean, where on earth does one climb a glacier? Let me share a few destinations with you, just in case you want to plan an icy adventure: Switzerland, Norway, Iceland, Chile, Argentina, and Alaska.
Aside from the fact the Matanuska Glacier is 22,000 years old, it’s the largest glacier accessible by car in the United States—27 miles long and four miles wide, making it one of the easier ones to see IRL. As a girlie with generalized anxiety disorder, I get anxious about doing this kind of thing because I know that to see these world wonders is usually a mountainous trek.
This one was two hours long, one-way, up snow-capped, windy, mountainous terrain. However, my therapist always reminds me to push myself to do what scares me (as long as it’s for a reason, of course). I held my breath for the journey there and back! And white-knuckled it from time to time, too.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Once we got there, we were surrounded by fresh, fluffy snow, and it was COLD! In the negative cold. I was thankful, I’d over-prepared. If you even go on a glacier tour, I recommend a few things: Balaclava, heavy-weight gloves, cashmere socks, snow boots, and lots of layers.
Here’s what I wore. My first layer was Ann Taylor leggings and a Wolford Turtleneck. Then, I layered a cashmere turtleneck and cashmere joggers. A COACH down vest, which I’d recommend anyone own just for winter, in general, because it’s SO warm! For my feet, I wore Ann Taylor cashmere socks (I love these because they’re affordable and so warm) and Adidas Adifom Superstar Winter Boot and topped all of that with a Brandon Blackwood ankle-length parka. I know BB is known for his accessories, but the brand’s outwear is truly amazing and worth the investment. After two hours on the ice, I felt great!
If you’re open to adventure travel, I highly recommend putting a glacier tour on your list of things to do. There are a few reasons. First, standing on an ice age-old massive piece of glacier was my 2024 version of touching some grass. I was reminded that I’m a speck on this spinning rock and need to spend more time grounded in that fact as I move through the world. I looked to the sky and thought of how proud my ancestors would be, even though I know they’d be telling me to get my butt home and off a dog on a glacier!
Secondly, I gained an ever-large appreciation for Mother Nature as I learned that glaciers are the world's largest reservoir of freshwater, containing around 69% of the world's freshwater. Again, another fact that helped me gain perspective. Lastly, it’s just fun and stunningly beautiful!
After this, I’m looking forward to my next cold-weather adventure! Iceland and Argentina are at the top of the list!
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Featured image courtesy of Bianca Lambert