It was the day after New Years 2012 and most businesses were still on holiday break. I went into my consulting firm's downtown office that day. The project I was consulting on had just gotten cut, so I was working on a side project to help my firm out as I waited to get staffed on my next project.
I had only been in the office for maybe an hour when one of the partners called me into his office. I thought he called me in to talk about the side project I was working on, but not even one minute after sitting in the chair in front of his desk, I found out why I was really there.
He told me I was being laid off–effective immediately. No warning, no time buffer, no nothing. My time with the firm was up after only 13 months of being with them.
I immediately burst into uncontrollable tears. The panic. The blind-sided punch to the gut. I couldn't keep it in. Tears streamed down my face as he proceeded to run through their offer of only one month's pay.
I was one of two to get laid off that day. I remember gathering my things, trying not to sob on my way out of the office as everyone stared at me on my way out. As soon as I got into my car, the flood gates opened and I started sobbing again.
What in the hell was I going to do? How was I going to pay my bills? How was I going to survive?
I had to find a job fast.
I had to find a job now.
I had to find a job five minutes ago.
I was beyond devastated.
The first thing I did was call my dog walker to tell her not to come that day because I had just gotten laid off. I was worried about the $15 it would cost me if I didn't catch her before she walked my dog for the day. Because every penny now counted.
I drove home, changed out of the unflattering work clothes I hated so much, and got to work on saving myself.
I've always been a survivor, a woman who has taken care of herself, honored herself, and waited for no one and no thing to come rescue me. This time would be no different.
First, I re-did my budget, cut out every possible expense I could, and figured I had three months savings to get me by. I filed for unemployment, too. Thank God I qualified for it, even though it was a measly $550.00 a month (only a tenth of my salary at the firm).
I even got a part-time job at a day care where I earned a few hundred dollars a month to help pay my bills and to keep my mind occupied.
And every day, I searched the job sites, on the hunt for the next right thing for me.
The morning of the lay off was the only time I cried over the whole situation. I was actually relieved to have gotten laid off. Because, to be honest, I hated working at that firm. And I realized getting laid off was actually an opportunity. It was a shove from the universe to move on to the next job that would be more fulfilling, more in alignment with who I am and what I wanted out of my career.
At the firm, I felt so much pressure to be someone I wasn't, to perform at a level I just wasn't interested in. I didn't feel like I could be myself there. I worked 50+ hours a week and did b*tch work. I wasn't fulfilled in any way at that job.
Classified page 5 newspaper selective focus photography Photo by AbsolutVision on Unsplash
I spent the next six weeks sleeping in, playing with a bunch of two and three year olds at the day care, cooking (since I didn't want to eat out and spend extra money), relaxing, rejuvenating, and applying for jobs.
But because this was my opportunity to find a job that I actually wanted to be at, I listened to my heart when applying. If a job description felt like more b.s., I wouldn't apply to it. I practiced listening to my heart, instead of the "right" or "logical" thing to do when it came to my career. "Right" and "logical" do serve their place in my career... but so does my heart.
After a month of a hellish job hunt, I had applied to quite a few jobs and had only two phone interviews. The panic started to run ramped again. I felt like I wasn't make any progress. But each time it did, I reminded myself to step out on faith. This was my opportunity to have a job I liked. Things were going to work out for me. Because I said so.
Only six weeks of the unemployment game, a few measly unemployment and day care checks, relaxing lazy winter days, and countless bowls of cereal for dinner later, I started a new consulting job.
A former coworker and friend knew of a big project and she kindly put me in contact with the project's program manager. They liked my resume, and because our mutual colleague vouched for me, that was enough for him to schedule two super easy phone interviews. Of course I aced the interviews. And the gig was mine.
But this time I was the boss. I had an LLC and was officially a business owner. And I was making double my old income at six figures. I went from not much to everything in six weeks.
To work on this project, I would have to consult as a contractor, not an employee. Being a contractor would require me to have an LLC, business insurance, to pay my own taxes, and they would pay me a whole lot more money than I had ever made.
I had no idea how to set up an LLC, or get business insurance, or how to file my own taxes. But within a matter of days, a few phone calls to friends who had LLCs, and lots of googling, everything was set up. And I officially owned my own business.
What's so amazing is I had always wanted to own my own business. But I had no idea how I would even make that happen. I also had a goal to make six figures before the age of 30. And also had no idea how I would make that happen. But I did, by age 28.
I attribute my success to a magical combination of timing, circumstances, a whole lot of faith, knowing, and surrendering.
I've noticed that most of the world is out there thinking if they just work harder, if they just push themselves to do more, to be more, that they will reach their goals. I never understood that way of thinking.
While there's something to be said for putting in the right work, why put in so much work that you burn yourself out? Why sacrifice parts of your life? Why make yourself miserable doing something you don't want to do to get to somewhere you want to be? That kind of thinking just never appealed to me.
For me, it all came down to choosing something different for my life and my career when the opportunity came my way when I got unexpectedly laid off. I didn't resist the reality. I rolled with it and chose to see the possibilities.
Not only did my dreams become my reality because I got laid off, what was equally, and maybe even more profound for me, was how I handled the situation. I never thought I, the typical type A perfectionist control freak, could be so cool, calm, and grounded in dealing with such a hard thing as a layoff. I surprised myself, big time.
After being laid off and coming through shinning so brightly on the other side, I knew I could do anything.
Featured image by Anthony Tran on Unsplash
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
Alaska Wasn’t On My Bucket List, But My Glacier Adventure Made Me A Believer
We all have bucket list destinations at the top of our lists. I visited one of those at the top of 2024: Japan! But what happens when you get an opportunity to go someplace that wasn’t on it? For me, that was Alaska. Now, I’d submitted my short film to the Anchorage International Film Festival, genuinely thinking it would be a long shot to get in with a short film about fibroids and Black women’s health.
However, to my surprise, I received an email that read: “It’s with great excitement that we announce your film, Super High: A Period Piece, has been selected for the 24th Anchorage International Film Festival.” After looking at the flight distance from Atlanta to Anchorage—a solid 10 hours one way— I’d decided this would be one I wouldn’t attend.
That was until there was a follow-up email that shared that the festival was sponsoring two excursions for filmmakers: A Northern Lights Tour and A Glacier Hike.
With that, I knew I had to make the trip to the 49th state! I flew Delta, which offered the shortest layovers—just 50 minutes each way. For a more comfortable flight on the longer legs that were about six hours between my layover city and Anchorage, I upgraded to first class with an in-app discount for $256 (the regular price of a first-class ticket runs about $2,100), which was so worth it for additional space and service for the six-hour trek.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
"So What’s Alaska Like? Did You Have To Wear a Snowsuit? What’s the Food Like?"
These are among the major questions I’ve gotten. Anchorage reminds me less of a bustling major city and more of a small town with an easygoing feel. When I arrived, they’d just had snow a few days before, so it was cold, and the streets were slick. So, I was so happy I’d invested in a pair of snow boots. For my first few days, the locals said it was warm. Warm to them being 20s at night and mid-30s during the day.
However, by the time I left, fresh snow was on the ground, and temps were well into the single digits—and it felt like it. Oh, the sun doesn’t rise until 10:30 a.m., and it sets around 4 p.m. That was among the most challenging things to experience because I felt like I never really woke up. So, between the lack of sun and the four-hour time difference, I felt tired the whole time I was there.
As for food, I didn’t explore a ton because I was so cold. But I found two gems! First was Whiskey and Ramen. If you enjoy ramen and exceptional service, this is a must-visit. I’d make a trip back just for their Wagyu ramen and their special take on an old fashion!
And, for coffee, I thoroughly enjoyed That Feeling Co. The coffee was great, and being surrounded by plants helped to perk up my spirits.
The Northern Lights
Iceland is one of the most popular places to see the Northern Lights, so I was very excited to know that Alaska also gets to see the Aurora Borealis light show. Typically, many people visit Fairbanks to see them, but there are tours offered in Anchorage too! When prepping for the late-night tour, we’d heard that the night we were heading out to see the lights, the cloud coverage likely meant we wouldn’t be able to see them. Bummer. I know. So, we could sit the tour out or still try. But, in my mind, I was like, why would I come all the way to Alaska not to try?
So, at about 9:30 p.m., we piled into vans and headed out to chase the Northern Lights. We traveled about an hour and a half from Anchorage, and when we stepped out of the van, it was cold and pitch black. And unfortunately, after a couple of hours in the cold, those clouds in the sky never parted for us. I know that when we see the posts of people who do get to see Mother Nature do her thing, we don’t have all of the context of the science, which is Aurora Borealis.
Sometimes, the weather just doesn’t do what we earthlings would like, which can lead to disappointment. However, our guide did give a recommendation. When you book a trip to see the lights, give yourself four to five days to see them. Don’t bank on one day because, at the end of the day, this is science.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Now, On to the Glacier!
Just six hours after returning from the Northern Lights tour, we were up for the glacier tour because they were back-to-back! I was exhausted and so excited. If someone had told me I’d hike on a glacier, I would have given them a mean side-eye. I mean, where on earth does one climb a glacier? Let me share a few destinations with you, just in case you want to plan an icy adventure: Switzerland, Norway, Iceland, Chile, Argentina, and Alaska.
Aside from the fact the Matanuska Glacier is 22,000 years old, it’s the largest glacier accessible by car in the United States—27 miles long and four miles wide, making it one of the easier ones to see IRL. As a girlie with generalized anxiety disorder, I get anxious about doing this kind of thing because I know that to see these world wonders is usually a mountainous trek.
This one was two hours long, one-way, up snow-capped, windy, mountainous terrain. However, my therapist always reminds me to push myself to do what scares me (as long as it’s for a reason, of course). I held my breath for the journey there and back! And white-knuckled it from time to time, too.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Once we got there, we were surrounded by fresh, fluffy snow, and it was COLD! In the negative cold. I was thankful, I’d over-prepared. If you even go on a glacier tour, I recommend a few things: Balaclava, heavy-weight gloves, cashmere socks, snow boots, and lots of layers.
Here’s what I wore. My first layer was Ann Taylor leggings and a Wolford Turtleneck. Then, I layered a cashmere turtleneck and cashmere joggers. A COACH down vest, which I’d recommend anyone own just for winter, in general, because it’s SO warm! For my feet, I wore Ann Taylor cashmere socks (I love these because they’re affordable and so warm) and Adidas Adifom Superstar Winter Boot and topped all of that with a Brandon Blackwood ankle-length parka. I know BB is known for his accessories, but the brand’s outwear is truly amazing and worth the investment. After two hours on the ice, I felt great!
If you’re open to adventure travel, I highly recommend putting a glacier tour on your list of things to do. There are a few reasons. First, standing on an ice age-old massive piece of glacier was my 2024 version of touching some grass. I was reminded that I’m a speck on this spinning rock and need to spend more time grounded in that fact as I move through the world. I looked to the sky and thought of how proud my ancestors would be, even though I know they’d be telling me to get my butt home and off a dog on a glacier!
Secondly, I gained an ever-large appreciation for Mother Nature as I learned that glaciers are the world's largest reservoir of freshwater, containing around 69% of the world's freshwater. Again, another fact that helped me gain perspective. Lastly, it’s just fun and stunningly beautiful!
After this, I’m looking forward to my next cold-weather adventure! Iceland and Argentina are at the top of the list!
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Featured image courtesy of Bianca Lambert