How We Met is a series where xoNecole talks love and relationships with real-life couples. We learn how they met, how like turned into love, and how they make their love work.
The way this generation's love life is set up, it doesn't take much for us to be done with one person and quickly onto the next. It's rare that we find two people who love and value each other so much, that no matter the distance, circumstance, or separation between the two, their love prevails everytime single time.
That's why the love story of Ellen Rice and Darnell Chever is a real life fairytale. These soon-to-be newlyweds have literally experienced it all, and are still going strong. When it comes to true love, no divorce, child, or nine-year separation could stand in their way, these college sweethearts were destined to be together since day one. Within the first glimpse of Ellen, Darnell knew he'd one day make her his wife. "I'd marry her," he told his then-roommate after seeing just one picture of her.
The two officially met at a college party and just days after their initial encounter, they were in a full blown relationship. Their love sparked quickly and allowed them to remain a couple for the next six years, experiencing a number of milestones side by side.
However, career changes left the two struggling in a long distance relationship that became too much to bear. After mutually agreeing to separate, the two went on to live their individual lives. Ellen moved on and got married to someone else and Darnell went on to have an adorable baby boy with another woman. But little did they know, destiny would soon bring these two right back together where they belong.
Over the years, Ellen's mother was in a horrific car accident, and while in her hospital bed, she urged her daughter to call Darnell and let him know her condition. Ellen obliged and soon after, Darnell was right by her side. And before they knew it they were back together, in love, and engaged. They got married, July 14, 2018. I guess there is truth to the saying "true love never dies" after all.
Here's their story:
How They Met
Ellen: October 3, 2003, one night while at a college party in Hampton Virginia at "The Legion" – a popular college party spot. I remember being on the dance floor, going off. You know when the crowd surrounds you and starts clapping?! I looked over and noticed this tall, dark and handsome guy in front of the stage. He pointed at me, gesturing for me to come over to him. I went over to him. We talked all night until the morning when he left to go do community service for his fraternity Kappa Alpha Psi. We became an official couple the next week on my birthday weekend.
Darnell: She didn't know this but one night, back in 2002, I was in my dorm room studying. In walks my roommate asking if he could sit his books on my desk for a second while he settled in. I picked up a photo album off the top of the heap and started to leaf through it. That's when it happened. Just like in the movies - fireworks, sirens, explosions, I mean it all happened! I saw a picture of Ellen and some friends. I immediately inquired as to whom she was. To this day, I can't remember what he said, but as I stared deep into the picture I replied, "I'd marry her ASAP." I knew right then and there that if I was given the opportunity, I would make her my wife.
"I knew right then and there that if given the opportunity, I would make her my wife."
First Impressions
Ellen: He seemed like Mr. Cool frat guy standing with his frat boys, but he was intriguing. He had very pretty eyes and dimples, and we talked all night at the party. I admit I snuggled up to him right there in front of the stage. The fact he spotted me specifically in a crowded room really impressed me.
Darnell: I thought, "She is way too beautiful, and classy for this party… let me go rescue her. [At the party] she initially seemed like the personification of everything that I thought I wanted in a woman. I was really wrong because she is so much more than that.
First Dates
Ellen: I remember our first date was on the campus of Hampton University. He walked me along the water. Gave me my birthday gift. It was very romantic.
Darnell: On our first date, I drove to visit her at college, I believe it was right around her birthday. We had been speaking on the phone every day at this point, so I think that we were both eager to see each other in person. With no real plans, we ended up just walking around a fountain.
Breakup to Makeup
Ellen: Once we got together, we stayed together and found ourselves as besties and lovers for six years. All of my friends were his and vice versa, and all of our family became each other's. After six years, I knew I was ready to marry this man and didn't like the distance. I made a decision...to only remain as friends. The next few years of my life had some major ups and downs.
In 2016, my mom was hit by a car which devastated me. While lying in her hospital bed, she asked me to call Darnell and tell him she was in the hospital. I never asked why, I just obliged. I know now it was the Lord. Darnell and I had a brief, but pleasant conversation and didn't talk again for several months. I'm not sure when we got back together, it seemed as though we never parted. We got engaged and bought a new house. Look at God! Now I get to marry my soulmate and best friend 15 years after we first met.
"Now I get to marry my soulmate and best friend 15 years after we first met."
Darnell: When we were 19 and 20 years young, we were inseparable. We immediately decided to become a couple after only a few weeks. We knew after only a few months that we were in love. We comfortably spoke about and made plans about marriage before graduating from college. Our friends became friends of one another, and our families merged into one. Our original plans to get married were halted due to us moving apart. I think she recognized that the distance between us was very stressful, and we decided to take a break. We took a break for a few years...a few very long years. Everyone knew I still loved Ellen and kept her in my heart. I knew then that I did not want to be away from Ellen, but I didn't realize how much until we reconnected. Once she came back, I knew I would make her my wife.
The conversation that we shared [during our reunion] had very few words… We sat there for a moment and enjoyed seeing each other again. And simultaneously opened the conversation with "I miss you!" and "Baby please take me back!"
The One
Ellen: Seeing someone nine years later and still getting the same feelings you had on Day One confirmed it. Plus, momma said call him (laughs). When I saw him and looked into his eyes, we both teared up. It was like we were talking without saying any words at all. In that moment, I realized he was my soulmate. I knew he had to be the one.
Darnell: I knew it the day I met her, and when we took a break from our relationship, every day I thought about how much she was the one for me. I began to see how natural and instinctive we were. In the sense that there are some athletes who weren't always the best but worked hard to succeed and then there are those who were just born with a gift. I believe that Ellen and I were born to be together.
"I believe that Ellen and I were born to be together."
Baggage Claim
Ellen: Step One was forgiveness. We had to forgive each other for choosing to break up instead of staying together. We also had to give each other space to heal from our past situations. We allowed each other to talk honestly to one another about what happened in the past. Remember, we hadn't spoken for years and hadn't seen in each other in nine years. When we got back together we shared our past situations with each other honestly. He allowed me to heal. We also learned to pray together. This time, we pray together and worship more together both in our home and at church. We also have a rule of no yelling in our home. We have been hurt from past relationships that involved yelling. For us, peaceful homes are very important.
Love Lessons
Ellen: My partner helped teach me how to value myself. When we got back together he kept telling me, "Your expectations are low. You deserve more." Then he gave me more. He showed me by loving me.
Darnell: I learned that there are many ways to love yourself just like there are ways to love your significant other, the key is to find ways to re-energize that love.
Common Goals
Ellen: Put God first, put family second. Be patient with one another. Remember to have fun. Partnership is key. Work together.
Darnell: Respect one another. Be fair and understanding and follow God's plan.
Best Advice
Ellen: Love is about patience and giving each other the benefit of the doubt. Always give your partner the benefit of the doubt and be patient to hear and understand their perspective. Love is also resilient. Agape love stands the test of times. Through my divorce and him becoming a single dad, our love stood the test of time. Love is not hurtful. Love doesn't seek to hurt your partner. Love seeks to uplift and encourage your partner.
"Love doesn't seek to hurt your partner. Love seeks to uplift and encourage your partner."
Darnell: Recognize that you are a valuable person with a voice and needs that matter. Love is about imparting those best qualities of you on to your loved one.
For more on their journey follow them @Ellenvincienne and @Dchever. And check out more photos from their engagement session by their photographer Keith Cephus here.
Want more xoNecole stories like this? Check out the related reads below:
My Boyfriend Of 2 Years Proposed To Me & Left Me A Week Later
I Met Him In An UberPOOL & Now We're Getting Married
He Pursued Him On Twitter, Now She's The Love Of His Life
Shan Boody & Jared Brady On How They Went From Friends With Benefits To Committed Relationship
Ashley McDonough is a writer and producer in New York City. When she's not busy writing or producing culturally conscious content, she is patiently waiting for Oprah and Stedman to adopt her. Keep up with her journey via social @Ashley_Milani or check out her work on www.AshleyMcDonough.org.
A Cosmic Guide To Love In 2025: What The Stars Have In Store For Your Heart
The most important lesson we are learning about love in 2025 is change. Many major Astrological transits are happening this year, and these will last for years to come. As we walk through this new year, we are being asked to let go of the things we can’t control, and give more grace to the things we can. This is a year of a new perspective on love, finding gratitude in the little things, and watching as the universe supports us and the dreams we build for ourselves here.
At the beginning of the year, we are being shown how significant 2025 will be for love. From March 1, 2025, until April 12, 2025, Venus, the planet of love and relationships, will be retrograde. Venus goes retrograde approximately every 18 months and hasn’t been retrograde since the Summer of 2023. With love taking a step back at the beginning of the year, we move through a time of understanding the emotional world better and letting go of trying to control outcomes here.
What Does 2025 Have in Store for Love?
It’s time to refocus your relationship priorities overall, and with this retrograde happening in both Aries and Pisces, Aries being the first sign of the zodiac and Pisces being the last; there is a chapter we are closing and a new one we are walking into.
Another significant factor that is influencing relationships this year, is Jupiter’s entry into Cancer. Jupiter brings blessings, abundance, luck, and expansion, and in water sign Cancer, brings these gifts to your emotions. Cancer rules emotional safety, foundations, close loved ones, family, support, and emotional well-being, and with Jupiter in this sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, we experience blessings in stability within love. This is a good year for building stronger foundations in love, aligning with those who are loyal and supportive, knowing what you need emotionally, and being a lot clearer on it.
Letting Go of the Past: The Astrological Theme of 2025
Overall, the guideline for the year when it comes to love is to focus on the bigger picture and let things work themselves out without forcing them to. Magic will come in for you this year when you can assess your needs and wants, let go of illusions or smoke and mirrors, and focus on the things you want for yourself rather than what you don’t. Your focus and beliefs on love are the priority right now, and things will be coming full circle for the better.
Read below to see your personal 2025 love forecast. Read for your sun, moon, and rising signs.
What Does Your Zodiac Sign Say About Your 2025 Love Life?
ARIES
2025 is one of the more significant years for you, Aries. A lot of the major transits are happening in your sign, which includes Venus retrograde in Aries at the beginning of the year, Neptune in Aries from March 2025 until 2039, and Saturn in Aries from May 2025 until 2028. Not to mention, Chiron, the wounded healer is currently in your sign until 2027.
What this means for you when it comes to love, is that you have learned a lot about where you want to be here, and it’s the year to implement more of these tools and knowledge of the heart.
This year for love is about honoring your integrity and what you need personally to thrive in life and creating that space to let it in. You need someone who will be there for you through whatever you are experiencing in life and not someone who adds to these challenges. This year is a time of rising above, and choosing better for yourself.
TAURUS
2025 for you when it comes to love, is all about perspective and taking better care of your heart, Taurus. Uranus, the planet of change, rebellion, progress, and upheaval, has been in your sign since 2019, and this year you get a break from all of the surprises. From Jul. 7, 2025, until Nov. 7, 2025, Uranus leaves your sign and enters Gemini, giving your mind and your heart some time to breathe.
This year you are being given the opportunity to see things for what they are, rather than what you fear them to be. You are able to see your relationship dynamics clearer, allowing you to feel more confident in what you are building and creating for yourself in this area of your life. What you are working on this year is letting go of overthinking, and allowing things to play out the way they are meant to in love.
GEMINI
This year you are feeling in balance when it comes to love, Gemini. Relationships are important to you in life overall, as you are a relationship-oriented sign, but it can be difficult at times to keep the balance and perspective here. This year, with lucky Jupiter in your sign until June, you have the opportunity to be blessed with some fortunate circumstances personally and within romance.
You are feeling yourself this year, and this is attracting you success and new opportunities within love.
Uranus will also be in your sign this year from Jul. 7 until Nov. 7, and some surprises are in store for you. Pay attention to what happens in your love life during this period, as similar themes will be coming back around for you when Uranus officially enters its Gemini transit from 2026 - 2032. Overall, this year is about balancing what’s coming and going in love, and finding your peace within your inner confidence for it all.
CANCER
2025 for you, Cancer, is about stability in love. You are growing emotionally from the ground up, and are feeling a sense of support, confidence, romance, and receptivity in your love life this year. You are one of the lucky signs of 2025, and this is due to Jupiter, the planet of blessings, entering your sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026. While Jupiter is in your sign, your life expands and you are able to see the gifts of your world that may have been harder to come by previously.
This is a year of spending more time with your loved ones and feeling more heard and supported emotionally. Safety and security are especially important to you this year, and you are only entertaining the people who feel that way about you and provide that. Many Cancers will be expanding their families this year or developing a long-term relationship, and overall this is a year of feeling stronger when it comes to love.
LEO
When it comes to love this year for you, Leo, it’s about trusting your intuition and listening more to what your heart is telling you. There are not many major transits happening in Leo in 2025, which means there is a lot of room to grow, but you may be feeling a lack of support or encouragement to do so. A lot of Leos are taking a step back to look at where they are currently in love, and yearning for some change and a new direction here.
Neptune will be in your 9th house of adventure for most of this year, and you are being asked to get inspired and do things differently, but don’t take unnecessary risks in love that may not serve you in the long run.
It can be easy to get lost in the fantasy of love rather than the actual reality you’ll live in here, and taking more time to understand yourself, your relationships, and the dynamics in your love life will be necessary. Overall, your heart is healing this year and you are moving away from the past and creating your new future.
VIRGO
This year when it comes to love, you are going through changes that are aligning you closer to your goals and dreams here, Virgo. You are focused on making things work that you want to see bloom, and also letting go of putting effort into people that aren’t reciprocating the same energy. With the North Node entering your sister sign Pisces and the South Node moving into your sign from Jan. 11, 2025, until Jul. 26, 2026, you are doing a lot of letting go over the next year.
However, with the North Node being in your 7th house of love, new doors and gifts are also opening up for you and your partnerships. The more you can let go of perfection and overworking your mind and your heart, the more blessings you will experience when it comes to love this year. In 2025, you also have two Eclipses in your sign, and there are overall a lot of changes Virgos are moving through this year. Your main guidance for love is to stand by the things that serve your heart and release yourself from what burdens it.
LIBRA
Love is coming to fruition for you this year, Libra. You have been through a lot in your personal life these past few years, and walking into 2025, you are ready for some positive change. This is a year of feeling in balance with your personal goals and dreams, and what you are experiencing romantically and financially as well. Relationship dynamics are serving you and your sense of abundance, and many gifts are coming your way in love this year.
With Neptune, Chiron, and Saturn all being in your 7th house of love, your love life and partnerships are the main focus for you in 2025.
You are moving through changes, overcoming previous obstacles, and bringing back the dreamy energy here. With Chiron in the 7th, you are still doing some healing of the heart, but with Neptune now entering, it all feels a little more romantic and spiritual at the same time. This year is about believing in the impossible in love, taking care of yourself, and allowing someone else to take care of you as well.
SCORPIO
This year is all about opportunity when it comes to love, Scorpio. You have your eyes on the prize and are focused on what you want for yourself, but also how you want to show up for love as well. You have goals and intentions that you are setting for your love life this year, and a lot of them reflect the passion and strength you are feeling as you enter the year. Vesta is in your sign this year until September, and you have a spark within you that is a magnet for success and love. You are walking forward confidently and are feeling inspired, sexy, and magical this year.
This is a very sensual and powerful year for you, and this energy is being reflected in the relationship experiences you are having. Jupiter also enters your 9th house of adventure halfway through the year, and there is something special about the trips you are taking and the risks you are taking in love. Overall, this is a year of doing things your way and attracting love to you through your inner confidence and charisma.
SAGITTARIUS
This is a beautiful year of feeling balanced and abundant in love, Sagittarius. There is a lot of energy coming in and you are giving a lot of love as well. This sense of synergy you are feeling within your love life this year has a lot to do with Juno, the asteroid of soulmates, in your sign from Feb. 19 - Apr. 15. Your people are coming in and you have options this year, Sag.
This is a year of feeling loved for the inspiring, outgoing, and unique being you are, and meeting more people who match your energy.
Saturn also enters your 5th house of romance this year, and you are learning a lot through your experiences with others. You are learning how to be more confident in who you are and what you want for yourself and also recognizing the importance of making more time for fun and playful experiences. This is the year to see love as a more light-hearted experience and to not take yourself too seriously.
CAPRICORN
You are letting things come to you when it comes to love this year, Capricorn. You are feeling beautiful, capable, and worthy, and you are receiving the gifts that come from this sense of confidence and patience. This past year, you were setting a lot of new goals for yourself and your relationships, and in 2025, you are experiencing the results of these efforts.
Jupiter moves into your sister sign Cancer from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, and enters your 7th house of love, partnerships, romance, marriage, and harmony. Your love life and experience of it all are expanding this year, and benevolent Jupiter is sending blessings to this area of your life. This is a year of things coming full circle for you in love, and you feel less confused about it all and more sure of yourself and what is becoming for you here.
AQUARIUS
Love is a highlight for you this year, Aquarius. You are coming together with another, and many Aquarius’ will be forming new relationships or growing within a strong relationship. You are experiencing the fruition of your dreams in love, and are also able to heal and let go of past emotional experiences that have been overwhelming for you in the past.
The North Node enters your 12th house of closure this year, and you are motivated towards change, cleaning house, and releasing the cobwebs of the past.
You are walking into new emotional experiences with less baggage and self-doubt, and are experiencing a fresh start in love. This is a year of asking for what you need emotionally and receiving it. Love is coming in for you in harmonious and magical ways, and you are rewriting your story in love in 2025.
PISCES
You are moving through a lot of changes when it comes to love in 2025, Pisces. This is a year of closure, healing, and giving yourself a fresh start, and the way you enter the year will be a lot different than the way you end it. The North Node of Destiny enters your sign this year, and the South Node of Karma enters your 7th house of love. So, a lot of your focus this year is on your personal goals and path, and there may be some neglect or lack of focus on your relationships.
This can create some discord with those close to you, and your guidance for this year is to try to balance the personal successes and wins you are experiencing, with the love changes that also need your attention right now. Know that what leaves your life this year is being replaced by something better, and also know that your healing doesn’t need to have a timeline and you can take as much time as you need to grow. Overall, you are turning a new page in love in 2025.
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New year, new dating style. Courtesy of a former sugar baby.
Being a sugar baby had its (obvious) perks, but the most significant ones didn’t center around the material benefits. To date, I have a bigger appreciation for the lessons I’ve learned and applied them to my dating life.
Dating men of higher social status shortened my tolerance for a lot of things I was convinced were normal. I blamed the universe for attracting undesirable men when it was my fault for allowing undesirable behavior. An interesting dichotomy between those guys and sugar daddies was the treatment I accepted.
It was easier to put my foot down with men of opulence because their privilege meant there was no limit to meeting my desires. Plus, recognizing my own worth made them (the good ones) want to treat me with the same high regard.
I’ll admit you don’t NEED to be an SB to enhance your dating style, but that’s the path I journeyed. It taught me how to be gracefully tough on men based on the simple fact that I’m invaluable. I’ll never convince anyone to be an SB, but feel free to pick a few gems I learned that might take your 2025 dating style to the next level.
Don’t overdo it by showing gratitude.
Let’s stop praising men for the bare minimum.
Yes, it’s okay to make a man feel affirmed but don’t let those affirmations come off too intensely, especially for things that require minimal effort. Don’t tell him about your ex never opening the passenger door for you, don’t brag about him being "The One" because he texted to make sure you got home safely, and most definitely don’t offer up the cat just because he paid a $150 dinner bill (give it because you want to, not out of obligation).
To be honest, I barely even say thank you when a man finds me attractive. “You are so beautiful.” I would respond, “Aww, you’re so sweet.” When he holds the door open, I graze his arm and smile.
Showing too much excitement about the bare minimum strokes his ego and draws a ceiling, which he doesn’t feel he needs to surpass. It tells him you’re not used to regular treatment, so you’ll be grateful for anything. Why do more than necessary? I like my men reflecting at the end of our date, thinking, “What can I do to impress her?”
Don’t stop having manners, though. Just keep it simple and move on.
There’s no such thing as “dating for potential.”
Hold my hand with this one.
There comes a time when the word “potential” shouldn’t be a part of your dating vocabulary. It’s nothing more than the encouragement of false hope. He’s not flaky with time because his schedule is too busy between balancing family and work. It’s because you’re not important enough to prioritize making time for.
He’s not stingy on dates because he’s having a rough time handling all his financial responsibilities. It’s because he’d rather spend his money on things that don’t involve you.
Trust me when I say men don’t date with potential in mind. Many of them hold themselves in very high regard with an “I can do better” mindset, and so should you. There’s A LOT of weight in the saying, “If he wanted to he would.” So stay away from Mr. Shoulda Coulda Woulda because, at the end of the day, he didn’t.
*P.S. If he ever says he doesn’t deserve you, he’s not being sheepishly humble. Take his word for it and run.
Do NOT be afraid to say no.
How many times have you put yourself through something you didn’t want to do based on feeling obligated? You compromised yourself in order to please the person you’re dating because it seemed like the easier option. Let me just remind you of the old saying, “Nothing good in life comes easy.”
I like comparing men to children, not to demean them but to draw similarities. Children often like to push and see how much they can get away with until the parent says no. Once you allow them to get away with one thing, they’ll nudge the limits to see how often they can skate by.
Dating is just like this. Get comfortable giving rejection. It can be an uncomfortable concept for some, so consider saying no and following it with a light reason. For example, “Do you want to come over and watch Netflix?” “No, I don’t feel comfortable going to strangers’ houses.” If his response is anything but understanding with a Plan B, on to the next.
Those boundaries were created to protect you. Any man who respects you will respect them too.
Don’t lay all your cards on the table.
When a man asks, “So what exactly are you looking for?” The vaguest response comes to mind.
It’s a common mistake to think men (not all) ask questions for unselfish reasons. That one, especially, is basically like asking for cheat codes to a game. Describing your idea of a perfect man, dating intentions, etc. allows him to know who he needs to morph himself into in order to get what he wants. Enter love bombing, physical intimacy, delusions of potential, then ghosting.
I’ve said the below on a few first dates and wasn’t surprised by how quickly the guys weeded themselves out.
"I’ve been having fun figuring things out as time goes on. There are times when I love going out to meet new people and times when I love cuddling up on the couch. It depends on how I’m feeling.”
I just said a whole lotta nothing, leaving it up to him to decipher. It’s open-ended, which forces him to show his intentions and let things play out naturally with as little manipulation as possible.
The first date defines how he views you.
This is where all those conversations leading up to this day come into play.
The perfect first date doesn’t only have to consist of 5-star dining and lavish wine collections. Those are merely perks. The perfect first date is valued based on how much effort he put in to show he’s been listening.
You’ve been dropping subtle hints that tulips are your favorite flowers. Did he show up empty-handed? You shared your discomfort with driving to far places at night. Did he book a 9 p.m. reservation somewhere 30 minutes away? You told him about your new venture into veganism. Did he take you to his favorite steakhouse?
These aren’t small things and they’re DEFINITELY not things for you to take on as a challenge. These could be easy signs of a life full of selfishness and laziness if shrugged off by the belief you should be satisfied with him making time for you.
Will taking my advice find you a husband faster? Who knows? But, ultimately, dating isn’t supposed to be an earnest search for a man. It should be a time of personal growth while sorting through experiences to find a partner who will appreciate the valuable woman you are.
Having high standards for yourself doesn’t make you difficult or unreasonable. To the right man, it definitely won’t make you undateable. Like I said before, nothing good in life comes easy.
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