There are many professional and career/family oriented WOC who put in so much work for their jobs/families, whom have also have struggled with juggling all the above in conjunction with mental health challenges.
Whether it's dealing with high anxiety, or chronic depression, many powerful WOC have to do it all, and seemingly keep it all together, in a society where they are often oppressed and marginalized.
Speaking from experience, it takes great strength to work very hard externally and still manage to beat your mental health struggles internally by embracing self-love and self-care. This read will spotlight how four inspirational professional millennial women of color in different industries have dealt with challenging mental health issues while being active in their career paths.
Octavia Yearwood, Author & Motivational Speaker
Octavia Yearwood works in arts education creating intersectional arts programming. She is also known as a motivational speaker and author of her upcoming book, How The Hell Did You Do That,which is an interactive journey, serving as a guide book, memoir, and workbook helping readers to walk through the process of self-healing.
A Day in the Life:
"My days vary because I do several things. I teach, I create art programming, I have a book with a curriculum, I host events, and I'm a keynote speaker. On a normal busy day, I am returning emails between 7am-9am and then preparing to do any of those things or heading to a meeting in regards to any of those things. Today, in particular, I have to be at the University of Miami to work with some dance students who have a video shoot today, I have two classes, so I will be cleaning their choreography, getting them placed, and talking about the shot list with the program Director, Shedia Nelson, who also shoots and edits the video.
"I will need to get out of there by 12, so I head up to another private school and work with, and teach from 1pm till 4pm. On my ride up to the school, I am answering these interview questions and working through a proposal I'm working on for an Art Institute, [and finally] my foster brother is also in town, so I will need to make time to see him before he leaves in the morning to head back to NYC."
How She Grew Into Self-Love & Self-Care:
"I am actually fresh off of a depression that took me out for a good part of the beginning of the year. A lot of my work is for the benefit of the world, so it gets really rough to be so focused on helping the world, women, and our youth in particular, and hit roadblocks when it comes to nonprofits and getting funding to materialize things.
"I am an artist first, so working within corporate structures made me pick up a lot of bad habits that hurt me, like always trying to say or do things perfectly, being passive-aggressive, and not being completely honest about how I felt. I was fresh off resigning from a nonprofit that I put a lot of energy into, and a romantic relationship that I also put a lot of my energy into. Both ended around the same time last year, and I threw myself into my independent work even harder; by the time February hit, and one deal fell through, I was ready to be done with this world."
"I had suicidal thoughts in a way that I never experienced before."
"I isolated myself so much and was going through it, but no one knew because I was still 'booked and busy' in publications and throwing events, etc. I had to get recentered. I could feel that my spirit was weak because I wasn't doing what it needed. So, I called a sister of mine for a reading with my ancestors who told me what I needed to do, which was what I knew I needed anyway. I got myself back into my meditative practice, being active (working out and dancing more), cleansing my energy, and prayer."
"I had abandoned those things. I needed them for self-care."
"My self-love showed up in a different way. It came in the form of caring less about people's thoughts, and what I thought people needed from me. I got into the habit of navigating people instead of letting them navigate me. I was like, 'Nah, I'm not doing that anymore.' I had already got in touch with how valuable I was theoretically, but I had to begin to move in that in a real way."
How She Navigates Career & Mental Health:
"Firstly, the work is nothing without me. If life is a game like they say, I'm not doing it right if I don't have fun and if I'm not winning. All of our goals are a means to an end, which is why once we achieve a goal, our masochistic asses just create another one! So, it's all about the lessons along the way of the process, making self-awareness a huge key in regards to self-care because it makes you do a self-check-in. It's more important than ever for me to say what I want, be who I am, and enjoy the moments."
"I remind myself that I make time, so I actively do that for my friends and all the things that feed my spirit."
Her Advice to Working Women:
"YOU FIRST! Selfishness gets a bad rap. Do the things that feed your spirit, whether it's singing karaoke or laying in bed naked for a day. Please create some type of spiritual practice for yourself so you can maintain or attain a balance spiritually. It translates to everything else. You are everything, so you can do everything but you can do nothing alone. So, ask for support when you need it. I love you."
For more of Octavia, follow her on Instagram.
Shaunette Stokes, Attorney & Professor
Shaunette Stokes is a practicing attorney, licensed in the state of Florida. For the last four years, she's owned and managed her own law firm, Stokes Law Group, located in Tampa, Florida. She practices primarily Small Business Law and Intellectual Property Law, and is also a professor in the Paralegal Studies department at the local community college.
A Day in the Life:
"On my busiest days, I spend a significant amount of time in court for my cases that are in litigation. I like to schedule my court appearances in the morning in an effort to avoid losing any hours of productivity on other cases/client files. Ideally, I spend my mornings in court and my afternoons in the office working on client files unless I have a trial, in which case I am typically in court for a full day. On the days I do not go to court, I reward myself with an extra hour of sleep. I typically get in the office by 10:00 am and leave at around 4:00 pm to prepare my lectures for my evening classes at the local community college. Once class is over and all of my student meetings are complete, I get home around 9:00 pm. Most days, I continue working for a few hours once I arrive home."
How She Grew Into Self-Love & Self-Care:
"Prior to May 2018, I practiced Family Law, which is typically a highly litigated area of law and therefore a highly lucrative practice area as well. The courts have very strict rules and deadlines, which can have a serious impact on the outcome of your case. Not to mention the fact that the clients are going through an extremely life changing event for both themselves and their family, so emotions tend to run high. As a result of the nature of these cases, I dealt with a large amount of anxiety."
"My anxiousness did not come from a fear of failure but rather from a fear of disappointing my clients."
"Unfortunately, there is never a guarantee that the outcome will go as expected. At the end of the day, even if you win a Family Law case, no one really wins because it does not heal a broken family. Often times, I found myself absorbing my client's emotional burdens and would treat them as if they were my own issues. I was extremely stressed and unhappy but it took me five months and an actual panic attack for me to make the decision to stop accepting Family Law cases."
"For me, recognizing the need for help and making this huge decision to stop accepting cases in such a lucrative practice area was honestly the biggest self-care and self-love decision I have ever made."
How She Navigates Career & Mental Health:
"It has not been easy but I have learned that I have to put my personal wellbeing, and therefore self-care, first and foremost. The practice of law is very stressful and I strive to create a work environment in the office for both myself and my staff where self-care is a priority. At my firm, we take mental health days at least once a month to help decompress from work."
"In addition to taking mental health days, both myself and my staff have the flexibility to work remotely from home at least twice a week. This allows me the flexibility of taking care of myself while still ensuring that the work gets done. On days that I work remotely, I go to the salon and get my hair done or treat myself to a pedicure. I have structured my business in a way that I can work remotely and still reach a high level of productivity whether it's in my office, from the comfort of my own home, or at the salon."
"I also strive to make the effort to go to the gym at least three or four days out of the week. I have found that when I take the time to put myself first, I am not drained from work and oftentimes I am more productive."
Her Advice for Working Women:
"I would advise any working woman that is trying to juggle any combination of the three to take the time to put herself first. Period. In order to establish a healthy work-life balance, you should prioritize yourself and what is important to you. Do not feel guilty for taking a break and allowing yourself to rest. You cannot be at your best on a professional level if you are not physically and mentally at your best on a personal level."
"Love yourself. Care for yourself. Learn to take the time to make yourself a priority and reap the rewards."
For more of Shaunette, follow her on Instagram.
Alana Blaylock, Documentary Film Producer
Galore Mag
Alana Blaylock works in the Film & TV Industry as a Documentary Producer. Her job responsibilities vary from role to role, whether she's prepping for a shoot in the office, physically in the field working with talent, or sitting with editors in post-production putting episodes together. Working on Lebron James' docu-series, "Best Shot," helped her find her own redemption after a mental health breakdown.
A Day in the Life:
"When I'm not on a set, I usually wake up by 7 every day. I'm a morning person and enjoy being active when my brain is most fresh. After heading to the gym, I'll go to my local coffee shop and order a Matcha Latte, catch up on the news, read my horoscope, and a verse from my bible app for an inspiring message. Then, I'll head into the office around 9 to start whipping off emails in order to book talent and find locations for shoots. During the afternoon, I write creative documents to send to my team. Every day is different and every series I work on varies in content, so it's an exciting job! On a weekday night, I'll cook dinner at home and catch up on my shows. On the weekends, I'm usually traveling so my plans depend on the city I'm located in at the moment."
How She Grew Into Self-Love & Self-Care:
"After going through a rough period last year, my mood dropped and healthcare professionals diagnosed me with clinical depression and acute anxiety. I was forced to talk about traumas I had been quietly dealing with alone for years. After keeping my problems under wraps, I finally opened up to therapists to get emotional help. Today, I have a solid treatment team and I'm on the right medication, which helps tremendously."
"I go on mindful walks for reflection time and set aside time to work out to clear my head."
"I never want to experience the mental anguish I felt before again. That being said, I work really hard to keep a positive mindset and be around people who will uplift me. I recognize that every day is not going to be perfect, and I'm not going to be perfect every day. The old me was not that kind to herself and held unrealistic standards. Now, I'm gentle with myself and most importantly, patient with myself as part of my recovery."
How She Navigates Career & Mental Health:
"I have to admit that it's difficult finding stability in such a fast-paced business. You sometimes have to be ready for a job in 24 hours and get in shape. The old me used to be type A and panic when things weren't going my way. Now, I realize that everything works itself out and nothing is more sacred than my sanity. Keeping that in mind, I move ahead with confidence, grace and understanding that flexibility and agility are key."
Her Advice for Working Women:
"Don't panic - The world will not end if something does not go your way! Set aside personal time for 30 minutes a day at least, and don't keep things bottled up inside until you want to explode. Communicate to others your expectations of them and what you can realistically deliver to them in both your personal and professional life. If your gut is telling you that you need a break, you probably do. Running on fumes does not do anyone any good. Take that vacation with your girlfriends or go on a solo wellness retreat."
"Be intentional about your self-care and happiness."
For more of Alana, follow her on Instagram.
Alie Jones, Educator & Entrepreneur
Alie Jones is a body positive entrepreneur, teaching artist, and self-care advocate. She's an art teacher at an after school program in an East Oakland middle school who encourages her students to reflect on the influence that art can have on justice and healing. She's passionate about empowering youth to speak their truth, and cultivate artful expression. In her piece for Afropunk entitled, "How Revolutionary Self-Care Becomes An Act Of Radical Activism," Jones channels Audre Lorde, expressing how "self-care is an act of self-preservation," and a radical political right, encouraging young people to practice the revolutionary art of self-care.
A Day in the Life:
"My most chaotic and rewarding day of the week is Wednesday. I start my day with yoga or meditation. I grab my weekly planner and create a list of my three daily intentions and tasks to achieve them. In our program, we go from an hour of homework time, activity time, snack, and two enrichment classes. From work, I go home to shower, change, and eat dinner. After resetting, I head to my weekly spoken word open mic, Speak On It."
"Having a space to authentically express myself in my community is so rejuvenating."
How She Grew Into Self-Love & Self-Care:
"My mental wellness journey has been turbulent yet transformative. I battle high functioning anxiety and severe depression every day. Last April, I was haunted by thoughts of suicide. In a very dark space emotionally and didn't know how to ask for support when I needed it, I allowed my negative self talk to tear me down. These feelings were amplified after experiencing emotional abuse and sexual assault during my second time living in France."
"I told myself that if I was gone, it wouldn't matter to anyone."
"In an effort to foster communities of self-care and self-love, I started a creative collective in Oakland called Bodacious Bombshells. Being in spaces with other women of color who have struggled with body image and mental health, self-care has taught me to explore body acceptance and mindfulness. Through one on one and group therapy, I've examined how I cope and challenged my ideas of isolation with community."
How She Navigates Career & Mental Health:
"My self-care and professional life align so well. I create spaces to share the healing of aromatherapy, deep breathing, and processing through creative writing. When I put my wellness first, I'm able to encourage those around me to go the same. I'm fortunate enough to have a workplace that inspires me to keep going on my darkest days."
Her Advice for Working Women:
"My advice for women working to thrive is be who you are, love who you are. You have to make space for authentic living and love without conditions."
"Self-care has to be intentionally practiced."
"Your mental health is top priority, there is no way to be completely present at work or in your families unless you're taking time to recharge your batteries. Self-love is an active choice, hold space for recharge and reset."
For more of Alie, follow her on Instagram.
Featured image by Getty Images
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Fontaine Felisha Foxworth is a writer and creative entrepreneur from Brooklyn New York. She is currently on the West Coast working on creating a TV Pilot called "Finding Fontaine", that details the nomadic journey of her life so far. Keep up with her shenanigans @famoustaine on IG.
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
Alaska Wasn’t On My Bucket List, But My Glacier Adventure Made Me A Believer
We all have bucket list destinations at the top of our lists. I visited one of those at the top of 2024: Japan! But what happens when you get an opportunity to go someplace that wasn’t on it? For me, that was Alaska. Now, I’d submitted my short film to the Anchorage International Film Festival, genuinely thinking it would be a long shot to get in with a short film about fibroids and Black women’s health.
However, to my surprise, I received an email that read: “It’s with great excitement that we announce your film, Super High: A Period Piece, has been selected for the 24th Anchorage International Film Festival.” After looking at the flight distance from Atlanta to Anchorage—a solid 10 hours one way— I’d decided this would be one I wouldn’t attend.
That was until there was a follow-up email that shared that the festival was sponsoring two excursions for filmmakers: A Northern Lights Tour and A Glacier Hike.
With that, I knew I had to make the trip to the 49th state! I flew Delta, which offered the shortest layovers—just 50 minutes each way. For a more comfortable flight on the longer legs that were about six hours between my layover city and Anchorage, I upgraded to first class with an in-app discount for $256 (the regular price of a first-class ticket runs about $2,100), which was so worth it for additional space and service for the six-hour trek.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
"So What’s Alaska Like? Did You Have To Wear a Snowsuit? What’s the Food Like?"
These are among the major questions I’ve gotten. Anchorage reminds me less of a bustling major city and more of a small town with an easygoing feel. When I arrived, they’d just had snow a few days before, so it was cold, and the streets were slick. So, I was so happy I’d invested in a pair of snow boots. For my first few days, the locals said it was warm. Warm to them being 20s at night and mid-30s during the day.
However, by the time I left, fresh snow was on the ground, and temps were well into the single digits—and it felt like it. Oh, the sun doesn’t rise until 10:30 a.m., and it sets around 4 p.m. That was among the most challenging things to experience because I felt like I never really woke up. So, between the lack of sun and the four-hour time difference, I felt tired the whole time I was there.
As for food, I didn’t explore a ton because I was so cold. But I found two gems! First was Whiskey and Ramen. If you enjoy ramen and exceptional service, this is a must-visit. I’d make a trip back just for their Wagyu ramen and their special take on an old fashion!
And, for coffee, I thoroughly enjoyed That Feeling Co. The coffee was great, and being surrounded by plants helped to perk up my spirits.
The Northern Lights
Iceland is one of the most popular places to see the Northern Lights, so I was very excited to know that Alaska also gets to see the Aurora Borealis light show. Typically, many people visit Fairbanks to see them, but there are tours offered in Anchorage too! When prepping for the late-night tour, we’d heard that the night we were heading out to see the lights, the cloud coverage likely meant we wouldn’t be able to see them. Bummer. I know. So, we could sit the tour out or still try. But, in my mind, I was like, why would I come all the way to Alaska not to try?
So, at about 9:30 p.m., we piled into vans and headed out to chase the Northern Lights. We traveled about an hour and a half from Anchorage, and when we stepped out of the van, it was cold and pitch black. And unfortunately, after a couple of hours in the cold, those clouds in the sky never parted for us. I know that when we see the posts of people who do get to see Mother Nature do her thing, we don’t have all of the context of the science, which is Aurora Borealis.
Sometimes, the weather just doesn’t do what we earthlings would like, which can lead to disappointment. However, our guide did give a recommendation. When you book a trip to see the lights, give yourself four to five days to see them. Don’t bank on one day because, at the end of the day, this is science.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Now, On to the Glacier!
Just six hours after returning from the Northern Lights tour, we were up for the glacier tour because they were back-to-back! I was exhausted and so excited. If someone had told me I’d hike on a glacier, I would have given them a mean side-eye. I mean, where on earth does one climb a glacier? Let me share a few destinations with you, just in case you want to plan an icy adventure: Switzerland, Norway, Iceland, Chile, Argentina, and Alaska.
Aside from the fact the Matanuska Glacier is 22,000 years old, it’s the largest glacier accessible by car in the United States—27 miles long and four miles wide, making it one of the easier ones to see IRL. As a girlie with generalized anxiety disorder, I get anxious about doing this kind of thing because I know that to see these world wonders is usually a mountainous trek.
This one was two hours long, one-way, up snow-capped, windy, mountainous terrain. However, my therapist always reminds me to push myself to do what scares me (as long as it’s for a reason, of course). I held my breath for the journey there and back! And white-knuckled it from time to time, too.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Once we got there, we were surrounded by fresh, fluffy snow, and it was COLD! In the negative cold. I was thankful, I’d over-prepared. If you even go on a glacier tour, I recommend a few things: Balaclava, heavy-weight gloves, cashmere socks, snow boots, and lots of layers.
Here’s what I wore. My first layer was Ann Taylor leggings and a Wolford Turtleneck. Then, I layered a cashmere turtleneck and cashmere joggers. A COACH down vest, which I’d recommend anyone own just for winter, in general, because it’s SO warm! For my feet, I wore Ann Taylor cashmere socks (I love these because they’re affordable and so warm) and Adidas Adifom Superstar Winter Boot and topped all of that with a Brandon Blackwood ankle-length parka. I know BB is known for his accessories, but the brand’s outwear is truly amazing and worth the investment. After two hours on the ice, I felt great!
If you’re open to adventure travel, I highly recommend putting a glacier tour on your list of things to do. There are a few reasons. First, standing on an ice age-old massive piece of glacier was my 2024 version of touching some grass. I was reminded that I’m a speck on this spinning rock and need to spend more time grounded in that fact as I move through the world. I looked to the sky and thought of how proud my ancestors would be, even though I know they’d be telling me to get my butt home and off a dog on a glacier!
Secondly, I gained an ever-large appreciation for Mother Nature as I learned that glaciers are the world's largest reservoir of freshwater, containing around 69% of the world's freshwater. Again, another fact that helped me gain perspective. Lastly, it’s just fun and stunningly beautiful!
After this, I’m looking forward to my next cold-weather adventure! Iceland and Argentina are at the top of the list!
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Featured image courtesy of Bianca Lambert