This article is in partnership with National Black Nurses Association.
The year 2020 came with its share of loss, but it didn't leave us without important lessons in its wake. As we navigated the reality of rallying against insurmountable odds during unprecedented times, we were reminded of the blessing of good health, the gratitude of life's simple joys, and the impact of stillness and slowing down. Another bit of beauty found in the ashes of the year was the appreciation for the heartbeat of our front line workers who turned out to be everyday people. They were the teachers in our children's classrooms, the cashiers at our nearest grocery stores, and in the healthcare field, they were the doctors and the nurses.
Undoubtedly, nurses weathered the storm and still continue to do so amid COVID. They worked long hours and went above and beyond to ensure that patients feeling isolated during these times due to the infectious spread of this novel disease felt less alone in the hours that could have left them at their loneliest. It is these reminders that emphasize the depth of nurses as light workers, as healers, but most of all, as essential workers in our healthcare industry.
Still, sometimes it is easy to feel that the hardest roles are the most thankless. To remedy that, we are spotlighting 20 nurses that have been making their battle cry heard on the front lines through purpose and dedication. On behalf of our partnership with the National Black Nurses Association, xoNecole spoke with 5 Houston nurses about what they do, why they do it, and how they pour into themselves after pouring into others. Here's what they shared.
Honoria C. Bush, RN
Courtesy of Honoria C. Bush
Title: Emergency Room Registered Nurse
Length of Time She's Been a Nurse: One year on February 21, 2021
The difference between working in a pandemic versus other times in her career:
"I actually started my nursing career right at the beginning of the pandemic in February 2020. I previously worked in the ER for two years prior as an ER tech. Being faced with using my training in the midst of a pandemic was an entirely different challenge. I used this learning experience and strived to absorb all of the on-the-job training that I could. I learned to move quickly but to also pace myself so that I wouldn't burn out so easily. There were times that I felt I couldn't make it through the shift without crying as our COVID numbers and the work demand rose higher, but I have an amazing team to support me and our patients are a constant reminder of why I chose this field."
How it has felt to be even more of a support system to patients amid COVID:
"I believe I have become more confident in my patients' care. I have had to not only be a nurse, but also take the extra step of being the patient's family member, prayer partner, and a shoulder to lean on. After my brother contracted COVID-19 and was placed on the ventilator and ECMO, the ICU nurses made sure that my mother, sister and I were able to FaceTime him every night. One nurse even went out of her way to research on YouTube how to braid black textured hair and cornrowed my brother's hair. The special treatment that I and my family received impacted how I treated my patients. I had one patient who was older and lived with her daughter. Naturally, having tested positive for COVID, she was nervous about everything.
"Anytime I walked in the room, she thought the worst. This sometimes caused her to hyperventilate, thereby affecting her oxygen demand. After noticing this, I contacted the patient's daughter to see if it was OK if I FaceTimed her throughout the day when the patient became anxious. I figured just seeing her daughter's face may make all the difference in the world. The patient and the daughter were calmer about the patient being alone and they entrusted me with the patient's care. It was at that moment that I knew I might not be able to remove the virus from the patient but I can try my best to bring some type of normalcy to them as they are afraid and in an unfamiliar environment without those that love them."
What she does for mental health and wellness during a pandemic:
"I believe I have learned to listen to my own body. In the beginning of the pandemic, I was eager to work as much overtime as I could to assist with the high work demand my department was experiencing. Wait times were longer, and my day depended on so many variables, 'Will my patient survive today' or 'will there be another patient that will code during the shift due to the virus?' Some nights all I could do was shower and go straight to sleep. Days and nights began to run together. Then things shifted both personally and professionally. After my own brother lost his battle due to COVID complications, I became the family member that was confused and didn't understand how a person can appear OK one day and then next day, I had to witness a healthcare worker pounding on your loved one's chest to resuscitate them through FaceTime.
"After my brother's death, I have been more intentional with listening to my body and not working too much. I also took the opportunity to seek professional help and meet with a therapist weekly to discuss what I see every day, not only with my own COVID patients but also with losing my own brother. I had to learn that taking care of myself is not selfish but, rather it helps me to be a better nurse who can serve others better."
How her purpose as a nurse has been solidified:
"I know I was meant to be a nurse. It's my God-given purpose. I wake up ready for work, ready for the shift and eager to help my patients in any way I can. The pandemic has shown me that my purpose is to serve others. My manager always says, 'You can teach a nurse skills, but there's no way to teach them how to care. It comes from within.' To those families who have lost loved ones to this disease, I sympathize with you and I encourage you to be hopeful that things will one day get better, but until then, be safe, know that it's OK to be fearful, but use that fear to motivate safe behaviors; wear your mask, wash your hands and watch your distance. We are truly in this together and we're better and stronger together!"
Chanelle Dozier, RN
Courtesy of Chanelle Dozier
Title: Neonatal Intensive Care Nurse
Length of Time She's Been a Nurse: Three years
The difference between working in a pandemic versus other times in her career:
"The Neonatal Intensive Care Unit has always been a place of high stress. As a nurse, you have to be able to balance the stress of caring for the fragile infants. The pandemic was a whirlwind of constantly changing policies."
How it has felt to be even more of a support system to patients amid COVID:
"I am trusted to care for infants that are very precious, fragile, and lastly adorable. It is already extremely difficult for families when they leave their baby in our care. However, sprinkle COVID-19, visitation policies were forced to be even stricter than the previous occasions. It was extremely hard seeing a couple, trying to decide who would be the primary visiting parent.
"As the nurse, being able to help the parent do something as simple as FaceTime was rewarding to me. Also, giving thorough updates over the phone [and] hearing that sigh of relief in their voice made my night."
How her purpose as a nurse has been solidified:
"Working through this pandemic has not been easy on any terms. There have been many times of uncertainty, change, and stress. I am still thankful that I get to go to work and make a difference for the families and infants. I am thankful for all my coworkers that rally together to support each other."
Dr. Lola Denise Jefferson
Courtesy of Dr. Lola Denise Jefferson
Title: House Supervisor at Kindred Sugar Land Hospital
Length of Time She's Been a Nurse: 32 years
The difference between working in a pandemic versus other times in her career:
"We have always had to use Universal Precautions but now it is detrimental. You must wash your hands, you must use gloves when necessary, you must wear a mask at ALL times, and no more close contact. I am a touchy feely person. I love the personal touch of a human being. The patients are human beings who are scared and need a touch with eye contact from a human being, their caregiver. It makes me so sad that we have to be six feet apart to remain healthy. I love to smile and my patients and staff cannot see me smiling at them. That is a problem for me. Smiling is a big part of me and I am not able to show that I am smiling to assure people that it is going to be all right."
How it has felt to be even more of a support system to patients amid COVID:
"Our ICU is on the first floor. We roll the patient's bed in front of the window and the family stands outside of the window. The family members wave to the alert intubated patient. One day, I was rounding in the Intensive Care Unit (ICU) and I witnessed the joy of the family on the outside of the window of the intubated family member. That gave me immense joy! I started waving too! The family started jumping up and down when they saw me. So I started jumping up and down! This brought such a deep, warm feeling inside of me because I started picturing to myself that that could be me and the patient could be my mother! I was in the moment! I became tearful but I held back the tears. This pandemic is awful."
What she does for mental health and wellness during a pandemic:
"I am eating healthier. I am getting adequate sleep and trying to add exercise. I pray and ask God to heal our land. When you become a health professional, you fully realize that someone greater than us, is looking out for us!"
How her purpose as a nurse has been solidified:
"I love nursing! I love caring for people. All people. I love educating anyone who asks about the COVID-19."
Chioma Alikpo
Courtesy of Chioma Alikpo
Title: Med-Surg Nurse at Memorial Hermann Sugar Land Hospital
Length of Time She's Been a Nurse: One year, six months
The difference between working in a pandemic versus other times in her career:
"Prior to the 2020 pandemic, the main difference is the level of acuity and an unfamiliar treatment plan. As a new nurse, it was strenuous to navigate through these challenges but I was able to develop my nursing skills and utilize the help of my peers to treat our patients affectively."
How it has felt to be even more of a support system to patients amid COVID:
"I was empathetic to my patients' lack of support. I used my caring and loving nature to provide therapeutic communication to assist my patients through their toughest times."
What she does for mental health and wellness during a pandemic:
"I practiced the art of self-care by reading books, writing and getting adequate amounts of sleep. Also, my prayers and family gave a sense of comfort during these challenges. These [things] allowed me to keep my mental health intact to provide the highest care."
How her purpose as a nurse has been solidified:
"I have an important role to play in life and I knew I was called to do this job. Not only are they my patients but they are moms, daughters, uncles , grandparents and sons. I have an active duty to heal and bring them back to their families."
Debra Raven, RN
Courtesy of Debra Raven
Title: RN at Memorial Hermann Southwest Hospital
Length of Time She's Been a Nurse: 24 years
The difference between working in a pandemic versus other times in her career:
"This pandemic has really weighed me down. Many times it has left me feeling mentally drained and defeated. These times are in no comparison to pre-COVID times, yet I rise every morning with God's grace ready to save lives."
How it has felt to be even more of a support system to patients amid COVID:
"I have bought color books [and] crayons for patients for distraction. I have stayed with patients and held their hands. I have worn many hats. I've been a teacher, counselor, mother and friend to these patients. I always go out of my way for my patients and wouldn't change anything."
What she does for mental health and wellness during a pandemic:
"I gravitate to prayer to keep me sane through these trying times. It has always worked for me. I also have a workout program to de-stress."
How her purpose as a nurse has been solidified:
"I know nursing is my calling. I wake up every day for new challenges in saving lives and continue to give 100 percent of me all the time."
For more information about the National Black Nurses Association, visit their website, www.nbna.org.
Featured image by Shutterstock
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Taja, an actress known most for her role on BET’s The Oval, and businessman/model Ryan Easter tied the knot on July 27 in an intimate and beautiful wedding in LA - surrounded by friends and family. During our 40+ minute conversation, the newlyweds opened up about the inner work journey they both went through individually to become their best selves.
Taja revealed that her grateful and light spirit came after being in a depressive state and doing a great deal of healing and education. And Ryan shared how losing a parent as a youth affected how he showed up in the world and the truths he had to face to embrace who he is wholly.
The pair also chatted about the power of intention, the importance of working through trauma, and the work they do every day to honor their partnership. There’s a reason their glow is so beautiful! It comes from the inside.
“You're meeting me now after I've done all this work, but I had to go through it to get to that space and be in a very happy, healed relationship,” Taja says. Check out the layered conversation below.
xoNecole: I’ll start with the most obvious question: how did you two meet, and what were your initial feelings about each other?
Ryan Easter: We connected through friends. At the time, I was in New York, and she was back and forth between LA and Atlanta. But our mutual female friends were together and decided they needed to set me up. So they confirmed I was looking for something serious and then sent me her picture.
And I was like, "Okay, she looks good - a chocolate drop." But then I thought, "What's wrong with her? So, I called them up, and one of them was messing with me and said, "Oh, she's a little crazy." I was like, "Whoa, I can't do crazy anymore. I've dealt with that before. I’d rather stay by myself than deal with that again." Then she clarified, "No, I'm just kidding. She's crazy in a good way. She's a lot of fun and has her stuff together. That’s how it started for me.
Taja Simpson: I was just going about my life, getting ready for another season of The Oval, when I got a text from my friend Natasha. She said, "Hey, I don't think you're dating anybody, but I have a friend I think you should meet. He's a great guy." She gave me this huge pedigree, saying they had been friends for 19 years. I thought, "Wow, he sounds amazing." But when she sent me a photo, I didn’t like it.
Later, I thought about it and figured it could just not be a good picture. So she sent his Instagram which had all these modeling fitness pictures and stuff. And then I was like, wow - you had my whole husband this time and didn’t tell me - now I told her she could give him my number.
"I was just going about my life, getting ready for another season of The Oval, when I got a text from my friend Natasha. She said, "Hey, I don't think you're dating anybody, but I have a friend I think you should meet. He's a great guy." She gave me this huge pedigree, saying they had been friends for 19 years. I thought, "Wow, he sounds amazing." But when she sent me a photo, I didn’t like it."
Taja Simpson & Ryan Easter
Photo by @jorgemezaphotos
xoN: I love that because, you know, there's all these conversations about the ways people meet, and I still feel like friends and family are one of the best ways. It’s like they know you! What are your thoughts?
Ryan: Yeah, absolutely! You feel a great sense of obligation to be the best version of yourself because you’re not just representing yourself; you’re also representing the person who referred you. I can’t go out there acting like a fool and have them looking at their friend like, "Why did you hook me up with this clown?" It’s like, we're gonna be clear and honest about our intentions. And if it works, great, and if it doesn't, it's okay.
Taja: Exactly. When he called, we spoke that day for like, an hour. The rest was history. We just connected, and it was great. After that, we started talking every day, and now here we are.
xoN: Okay, so tell me about your first date! Do you remember where you went? What did you do? How was the vibe?
Taja: Our first in-person date was two months after we met over the phone. This was during COVID, so we got introduced in July 2020 but didn’t meet until September. From July to September, we were doing video dates and phone calls, building up this excitement about meeting in person. I was really nervous. I thought, "Oh my God, is it going to be like it was over the phone?" We really connected and vibed. I was there to pick him up at LAX, and I felt like this was it. I thought, "God put this brother in my life to be this good, this perfect." It felt too good to be true.
I actually had a friend meet us at the airport to film our meeting without him knowing. I told her to stay in the corner and keep the camera hidden. When he was coming down the escalator, I had this whole plan to run up to him in slow motion and jump into his arms. When I saw him, I froze. I was so nervous that I couldn’t move! He came up to me, gave me a big hug, and swung me around, and I just thought, "Wow!" Everything I planned went out the window.
Ryan: I was really excited to meet her, too. Technically, our first date was at Firestone Brewery. After the airport, we went back to her place to drop off my stuff, and then she said, "I like to drink beer," so she took me to a brewery nearby.
I remember being there, and we were kind of embracing, but not too much since it was technically the first time we were in physical proximity. You still have to play it cool, even after talking for a while. But every time I touched her, it felt good. I thought, "Yeah, this is it." When we hugged at the airport, I felt like, "Yo, this is home." At that moment, I knew she was the one.
xoN: Ugh, I love that. So when did the courtship start to develop into a relationship? Did y'all have that conversation?
Ryan: Initially, we were very clear about our intentions. We were both dating with purpose and had similar aspirations of eventually finding someone to marry, start a family, create businesses together, and live our lives to the fullest. We knew from the beginning that this was our goal and checked in with each other to see if we were on the same page.
After establishing our intentions, it was about having those small conversations. We discussed what was important to each of us—our needs, wants, likes, dislikes, triggers, and traumas. All those details are crucial for building a solid foundation for a healthy relationship. We spent a lot of time getting to know the real person, not just the representative we might present to the world.
Sometimes, it’s difficult because it requires us to be extremely vulnerable. For men, especially in our society, vulnerability is often frowned upon, making it hard to expose that sensitive side. You never know how people will react—some might use it against you, while others might protect you.
I think for her; it took her understanding that mentality that men have and use that to her advantage to make sure she's like, look, this is a safe space for you to allow me to see the full person that you are. I appreciated that because, like, I would tell her, if you really want a man to value you, he has to feel safe with you, right, not necessarily in a physical capacity but more so from an emotional standpoint; I need to feel like I can be safe with you emotionally.
So that courtship was a lot of just having those serious, sometimes difficult conversations about things we're going through in the past to things we aspire to accomplish in the future, to things that we're currently dealing with, and started to gain that understanding about who we are and what we aspire to be, and just continue to flow.
"So that courtship was a lot of just having those serious, sometimes difficult conversations about things we're going through in the past to things we aspire to accomplish in the future, to things that we're currently dealing with, and started to gain that understanding about who we are and what we aspire to be, and just continue to flow."
Taja: I mean, that's exactly right, and a lot of it we spoke about even before we met. Because it was this free thing where we didn’t know each other. We didn't have to be a representative. I was just my authentic self. It’s like - I'm an actor, and I got five or six characters that may come out in our conversation. I'll be funny, then the next moment, I'll be serious. It just happens.
I was very vocal about how I foresee my life going. Also, because I'm in entertainment, that played a part. I had met people before who couldn't handle that. They wanted a woman with a nine-to-five, a teacher, or just somebody with a very strict schedule. But that wasn't me. So I think we were super intentional when it came to dating and making sure we can build and grow together. So, we made that commitment prior to him leaving. He came to LA for a week, and the day before he left, it was like, okay, so this is it.
xoN: I’ve noticed that intention and vulnerability are both powerful words that you two keep using, which I think is essential for any long-term relationship. What are some of your other shared values?
Ryan: Also, we both understood the power of mindset. When you see successful or unsuccessful people, sometimes others will attribute their state to their family or money. And I'm not saying that that doesn't help. But there are a lot of people who have come from very humble beginnings and very troubled past that have gone on to do great things, and it all had to do with their mindset. They had to leave and see themselves doing what they desired to do before it became a reality in the physical realm.
I think a lot of those beliefs and mentalities that we shared was refreshing because, you know, we've all known people that every time you talk to them, something bad is going on. And it's such a drag because they can bring your energy down. We don't subscribe to that. Not saying that we don't go through tough times. But when we do, the question that we always ask ourselves is, what is it that I'm supposed to learn from this? I think those type of elements of just being in alignment mentally about how we view the world definitely help to solidify our relationship and our connection.
Taja: When we met, I was in a headspace of growth. We now call it believe, evolve, become because you have to believe that thing right in order to show up. We both understand that your vibration precedes your manifestation, so you have to vibrate and believe at a certain level. Act as if you have to be in that space, that energy, in order for that thing to come so you can evolve and then become whatever that said thing is. But I was in that headspace before we met, and I was clearing out people in my life.
I was really intentional with finding someone that was in that headspace, too. I was not okay with anyone being stagnant.
Taja Simpson & Ryan Easter
Photo by @jorgemezaphotos
xoN: You two seem so evolved individually and collectively. I'm curious, were there any challenges that you two had to get through together, and what did you learn from that experience?
Ryan: Being parents. And if your partner doesn't have a great pregnancy, then it can be tough, and it stretches you in a lot of ways. But I would definitely say the first five months of being new parents was a lot because we were both exhausted. And she's also trying to heal her body because giving birth puts a tremendous amount of stress on the woman's body. It gives you a different respect for the strength of femininity because I wouldn't want to go through that. And I was there the whole 29 hours.
So during that time I'm getting snappy because I need to rest. I have not been able to rest, and I'm sleep-deprived, and I don't feel like I got my foot in yet. And, and then, on top of that, you have this, this really small human that's completely dependent upon you. They can't do anything for himself, and that, even psychologically, that's a lot to carry. But the thing that I think that has helped us is that we understand that we won't always be on the same page. It's okay to have disagreements, but you always have to lead with love, meaning that if I'm upset with her or she's upset with me, we focus on what the issue is.
Taja: I had a horrible pregnancy and was still feeling like I want to be productive; it’s just part of who I am. And during the newborn phase, like he said, we were exhausted. We were zombies. I'm getting whiny. I need sleep. He's getting snappy and short, and we're having to figure out us. The hardest thing is trying to still learn how to effectively communicate in the midst of this space where you are exhausted; you don't feel good, nothing's going your way.
But I'm a big believer of being accountable, especially for women, because women are not always accountable. But we encourage each other to address the trauma and encourage positive self-thought and talk. Because what you think, speak, and do creates power for better and worse.
xoN: Were there any past traumas you had to heal from in order to love each other correctly, and do you feel comfortable discussing them?
Ryan: For me, the biggest thing was my father’s death at nine. You’re young, and you don’t know how to process the loss. It’s one of those things I thought I dealt with, but when I got into my adult years, I realized it didn’t. I always felt like I had to go above and beyond because I didn’t have my father there to be a man - I excelled in sports and academics, but it was based on an inadequate feeling.
I understand the importance of fathers in children’s life but you still have the power to be the best version of yourself whether your father is there or not. And I believe the almighty Creator will put people in your life to be the best version of yourself. I wanted to be that confident person for her and our children - and I didn’t want to carry that trauma into our relationship or our son. So I worked on it before us and I continue to now.
Taja: Mine was colorism. I grew up where the brown paper bag thing was a thing. There were kids I couldn’t play with because “I was too Black.” I had a family member who called me “Ew.” Like she’d literally say, come here, Ew, you ugly thing. And my family, for a long time, didn’t realize how it was breaking me. But eventually, my mom noticed and taught me more about self-esteem and then I started to do the work. But it still shows its head. I still would have thoughts that I’m not good enough because of how I look. I’ve literally not tried out for roles because of that. One of my friends’ friends has literally called out once that I was the only dark person at an event.
So when I started doing the work, I noticed the ways it showed up, like I just wouldn’t want to be in the sun long. I mean when I was younger, I used to pray to God to make me “better” or lighter. It took a long time to really get over that. There’s a book I wrote called Women Who Shine - where I got my thoughts out about this.
So he knows my sensitive spots and speaks to the little girl in me. It's so interesting how the things we go through when we’re young affect us in adulthood. Mental health is as important as physical health - and I’m grateful that he understands the importance of both of those.
xoN: Thank you for your vulnerability. I hope it helps someone else. Finally, I’ll close with this: what’s your favorite thing about each other?
Ryan: Definitely her mindset. She doesn’t have a victim mindset; she’s empowered. That’s so attractive. I believe that she prides herself on being a good, great communicator. She moves with integrity, you know, I think that's important. And you know, she also understands the importance of taking care of her physical, emotional, and mental wellbeing.
Taja: There’s so many. Where do I start? My husband is supremely supportive. I absolutely love that about him. Also, I love his intention. I love how effectively he communicates. I love how he fathers our child. I love how he looks. Because, praise God. Okay, I'm just gonna put that out there.
But you know what, my favorite thing about him is that I love that he's a man of integrity.
Integrity was the highest things on my list when I’d write out what I wanted in a partner. Because it’s everything. And so I love that I feel the level of safety that I feel with him, that I can completely be my 100% authentic self. I know that he's taking care of me, my heart, and our family. We're good.
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Feature image by @jorgemezaphotos
“I was doing the same thing every day, and I just was getting tired of it. And we were remote at that time, and I'm like, this would be the perfect opportunity to explore. My partner was very supportive of it, and we were between Atlanta and Houston,” Kaylyn tells xoNecole.
“I have a young son, so Atlanta made kind of more sense because it was still close to my family, and that's ultimately what we decided. So I moved to Atlanta, and then my first job was with Compass (real estate company), and that was my first and last job, so far, fingers crossed.”
While working at Compass, she did marketing on the side. However, it took Kaylyn being laid off from the company to truly give full-time entrepreneurship a shot. Already having some clients, the marketing guru continued to build her clientele and ultimately became even more successful. The Florida State alum has even begun hosting events such as a lifestyle networking event “For The Tastemakers + Visionaries” back in October.
Moving to a new city can be daunting, especially when you’re trying to build a business. It’s important to make the right connections in order to thrive in your entrepreneurship journey. Kaylyn shares how she did it.
“I feel like you have to get out. And I think one thing about Atlanta, and it's probably prevalent in other cities, but you don't necessarily have to seek out those rooms, but also kind of understand what rooms not to be in because that can taint your experience honestly,” she explains.
“Like when I moved people were like, ‘You, like Atlanta?’ I'm like, ‘Yeah,’ but other people's experiences are different because they come for maybe the wrong things. But everything that I explored first was intentional for the progression of my career and the path that I was on. So I was looking for ways to be in marketing rooms, or, like, just find a job that was in marketing.
She adds, “My advice is it doesn't have to necessarily look like your dream company. And what I mean by that is because when I worked with Compass, it wasn't my ideal company. I took it literally because every company has a marketing department within it.
"And if this is a good-paying job, something that's still within my willpower, I know I can do it with no problem. Let me get my foot in the door. I'm all about getting my foot in the door somewhere because I feel like my personal connections are what has taken me further in life. So when I get into those spaces, I'm a sponge.”
What’s next for Kaylyn is curating more intimate events, building BLK Book’s portfolio, and giving back.
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Feature image courtesy Trenton Butler/ @mindofjr