

Typically, this is the time of year when a lot of us would be focused on spring cleaning. Yet, with the coronavirus requiring so many of us to be at home, virtually all day, every day, it can be hard to make that a priority when 1) your house is now your office (and if you have kids, also a school) and 2) you are so over looking at your place that you're not even all that inspired to give it the TLC that it needs and deserves.
If that about sums up how you feel right about now, this article was written with you in mind. I know that times are tough and money is tight. But since you've gotta be in your crib most of the time, why not use this as an opportunity to do a little remodeling? To create the kind of oasis that makes you feel less bored, more relaxed and like, no matter what is going on outside of your front door, you totally adore the space that you are living, 24/7, in.
What do you need to do to bring you to this kind of resolve?
1. Get Some (More) Plants
When it comes to this first tip, I'm actually preaching to the choir because, although I am an ambivert who works from home, I don't have one plant in my house (don't judge me). That's pretty weird considering I grew up in a home that has plenty of 'em. I think it's because I'm very aware of the care and attention that they deserve (even the low-maintenance ones) and I just haven't become intentional about adding them to my daily routine. That doesn't mean I shouldn't, though; especially right through here because plants can make your living space much more calm and serene. Tranquil even.
One more thing while we're on this topic. It's been proven that indoor air pollution is 2-5 times higher than outdoor air pollution and can be far more deadly. Why am I bringing this up? Well, if you've read somewhere that plants can also reduce indoor air pollution, I hate to break the news to you, but nowadays, they are saying that is a myth (check out "A Popular Benefit of Houseplants Is a Myth" and "Which houseplants should you buy to purify air? None of them."). So, just what can you do to remove some of those extra toxins that you're currently taking in? Declutter. Get a humidifier. Remove your shoes as soon as you walk into your house (so you're not tracking dirt and dander throughout your home). Dust and vacuum. Open up your windows sometimes and, once you are done using your candles, put the lid back on them; that decreases the amount of smoke that goes out into your room once you blow the candle out.
2. Make It Smell Good
In a nutshell, aromatherapy is all about using plant extracts in order to improve your overall health and well-being. It can decrease stress, reduce pain, treat headaches, boost your immune system, improve your quality of sleep, ease depression symptoms and even fight off bacteria and fungus—all things that we need on a whole 'nother level these days.
So, whether it's via a soy candle, diffuser, DIY spritzers or draping something like eucalyptus vines on your bedroom wall, it's well worth your time and money to get some "smell goods" for your house. As far as aromatherapy scents that are wonderful de-stressers, some of those include lavender, jasmine, lemon, bergamot and rose.
3. Pick Up a Blackout Curtain
Although I make sure to get 8-9 hours of sleep each day, I must admit that it's not always consecutive. Sometimes I'll sleep for five or so hours at night and then take a nap in the daytime. If you're not used to being at home during day hours and the at-home demands and stress are pushing you to your limit, taking a nap might be just what you need. If, like me, it's hard for you to rest in a bright room, you can trick your body into thinking that it's nighttime if you put up a blackout curtain. Just make sure to set an alarm. For a nap to be truly effective, you only need about 20-30 minutes in order to give yourself a real energy boost.
4. Wallpaper Some Stuff
Something that you can do to totally change the appearance of a bookshelf or any shelves in your house is to put some peel 'n stick wallpaper (which you can buy at Walmart or home improvement stores) on it/them. It's the kind of wallpaper that's also cool on breakfast trays or even a backdoor of your home office or your bedroom. Click here and here for a few tips and other ideas on how to make peel 'n stick wallpaper can totally upgrade your home.
5. Invest in a Slipcover for Your Couch
I'm willing to bet some pretty good money that you and your couch are about to break records thanks to how much time you'll be sitting on it. One way to keep the appearance of your sofa from boring you to tears is to get a couple of slipcovers to put over it. Sites like Sofa Lush, Jane Closet and The Décor Home Store have them for under thirty bucks. You also can typically find them in stores like Target and Walmart too. While you're at it, pick up some (extra) throw pillows. A simple addition like those can change your living room's appearance. As a bonus, they're super comfy as well.
6. DIY a Bed Canopy
While we're on the subject of upgrading your living space, if you want to do something different with your bed, how about making your own bed canopy? All you really need are some sheer curtains and copper rods and you can create a whimsical getaway in your very own bedroom. If you'd like to learn how, click here.
7. Buy a Whiteboard
Whether you're working from home or homeschooling your kids (or both), you definitely need a couple of whiteboards. When it comes to your work, whiteboards are affordable ways to jot down ideas, keep up with goals and to organize your thoughts. On the homeschooling tip, they make it possible to put together lesson plans and keep your kids engaged with what you are teaching them. You can usually find them at office supply stores for less than $10.
8. Make Your Own Clothing Rack
Recently, I was talking to a friend of mine who was feeling guilty about wanting to purchase a few new clothes that were on sale. "I mean, with all that is going on in the world right now, am I being insensitive?" they asked. My response was, "Shoot, with all that is going on in the world right now, if a new outfit will make you feel better, I say cop it. Plus, it's 40 percent off, so you're saving money."
Listen, no one is suggesting that you should be out here whilin'. But if you are also using this time of quarantining to toss out the old and bring in a little new, why not take out a weekend to make a clothing rack? Something that's great about this idea is a rack can provide you with extra space to hang up clothes, plus you can move it to anywhere in your house that you want. Some copper pipes, glue, a tape measure, a Sharpie and nail polish remover (basically a quick run to Home Depot or Lowe's) are all you really need. Click here for instructions if you want to take this suggestion on.
9. Change the Frames of Your Artwork
If you're sick and tired of looking at the same art that's on your walls but your budget won't let you purchase any new prints, you can totally change the appearance of the art that you currently have by simply putting them into some other frames. While that might sound a little too Martha Stewart for you at first, articles like "DIY Picture Frame Tutorials (How to Make a Picture Frame)" will show you that it's easier to do than you probably thought. Plus, if you hit up a family member or friend on Skype, Google Hangout or Zoom, y'all can hold a virtual arts and crafts party which could be a lot of fun.
10. Order a Laptop Stand
It's been years since I've had a desktop computer; I have a couple of laptops instead. Something that I know I need to stay on top of is maintaining my posture. One way to do that is to invest in a laptop stand. Not only does it make things easier on your neck, shoulders and back while you're typing away, a laptop stand help to keep your laptop cool, makes it easier for you to read whatever is on your monitor and, it can help to decrease the chances of it getting damaged due to dropping it or spilling something on it. Just prop the stand on your desk, put your laptop on top of that and your all set. Target has some that are less than $15 that are great for if you want to work in bed or while sitting on your sofa. Or, if you want to get one for your home office desk, "10 Best Laptop Stands (Review) in 2020".
BONUS: Make a Rug Out of Your Old T-Shirts
I think it's like once a day these days when I find myself triggered about something that is being overlooked at the expense of the Rona. For example, did you know that the EPA has currently relaxed its regulations in direct response to the pandemic (SMDH)? One way to do your part to care for the environment during all of this upheaval is to upcycle. And one way to do that is to repurpose old clothing. If you've got some old T-shirts that you don't know what to do with, you can even update one of your floors by making a rug out of 'em. Basically, you cut your T-shirts into strips to turn them into "yarn". Then you crochet them into a circle and voila! You've got your very own area rug (you can get all of the instructions here). It's a creative way to pass the time, to not be wasteful, and to have something decorative to show for it after you're done. It's just one more way to beautify your place and enjoy your space until this quarantine passes. #verycool
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Feature image screenshot/ xoNecole YouTube
Love Is The Muse: How Skylar And Temi Built A Creative Life Together
When Temitope Ibisanmi DM’d the word “muse” to Skylar Marshai, he knew he was shooting his romantic shot. He didn’t realize, however, that he was connecting with his future business and creative partner, too.
“I was the boyfriend,” Temi says. “Everybody out there knows, you’re the cameraman at that point.”
Skylar sees things differently. At the time, she was shooting content on her iPhone. Temi came into the picture with a new perspective, an understanding of tech, and, eventually, a camera. “He doesn't give himself enough credit,” Skylar says. “He wasn't just my tripod. He wasn't just standing behind the camera and going ‘click.’ He was giving advice. He was giving me insight to how I could look at things from a different perspective. And I was like, 'Oh, he’s an artist.' I think it was maybe a heartbeat of that kind of energy of like, ‘Baby, can you take this picture?’ And it turned so quickly into, we're partners. We can work together in a way where we're advancing each other's creative thinking.”
The pair often says they’re two sides of the same coin. Skylar is an Aquarius. She attended art school, paints, and loves poetry. She’s more than happy to let the couple’s management firm and agency, Kensington Grey, handle their admin work. And, she loves to sleep in. Temi, on the other hand, wakes up early. He’s a Virgo. He loves a to-do list and regularly checks in on the couple’s brand partnerships spreadsheet to make sure everything is on track.
Because his storytelling was steeped in his love of technology, he didn’t always think of himself as a creative person. “Where I [am] the dreamer who wants to pluck things out of the sky and spend all day with my head in the clouds, Temi [is] so good at grounding me and helping me figure out how to make things make sense on paper. We just work together in such a complimentary way,” Skylar says.
It’s been more than six years since Brooklyn-based couple Temi and Skylar started dating, and nearly four since they cemented their working relationship. On TikTok and Instagram, the couple’s travel, fashion, and home content regularly rack up hundreds of thousands of views. They’ve worked with brands such as Coach, Aesop, Away, and Liquid IV, bringing their vibrant perspectives to every campaign they execute. Still, nearly two years since both Temi and Skylar committed to full-time content creation and creative directing, the couple says their romantic connection remains their priority.
“We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting,” Skylar says.
Working from home can make it hard to separate work from personal life for any entrepreneur. It can be even more challenging when your business partner is also your lover. Temi and Skylar had already used couples therapy as a tool to help them effectively communicate with one another. When they ran into challenges while working together, their therapist helped them set physical boundaries to help combat the issues.
"We told each other we would much rather go back to full-time jobs and preserve our relationship than to be full-time freelancers, barely getting a night's rest [and] barely kissing each other because we're so busy shooting."
“It actually took us doing very specific physical things to create boundaries between work and play in our relationship,” Skylar says. “So, for instance, we will only have conversations about work when we're out of bed or we're at the table or in the office. Initially, when we started, we had to light a candle to say that, 'Okay, this is a space where we're connecting, we’re not talking about work.' We needed really hard boundaries at the top. And then it became a little bit more organic.”
The boundaries have been crucial to implement, especially because the couple began working together so naturally. When the pair first met, Skylar was NY-based a social strategist for BuzzFeed and was using content creation to drive business to her lingerie company. She was shooting her own content. Temi was working for Microsoft in D.C. He’d recently traded in his DJing equipment for a camera. “I've always loved taking pictures,” he says. “Even when I was a kid, my African mother would wake me up at 3:00 a.m. [during a] party, and be like, 'Come take the family picture.'”
Growing up, Temi says he watched his parents support each other and be the true definition of partners. He knew he wanted the same for his own relationship. But, the couple also wanted to make sure they were being financially responsible. The pair didn’t quit their traditional jobs until they’d saved up two years' worth of their cost of living. And, Temi received his Master of Business Administration from New York University with the knowledge that it could either help him advance in his corporate career or be applicable to his business with Skylar.
Today, they say their working relationship is more of a “quiet dance.” They still implement some of the boundaries they learned in therapy, but they also lean into their natural strengths and deep love for one another. When we speak, Temi has planned a date for the couple to see Princess Mononoke in 4K IMAX and added it to their Notion so they can factor it into their busy schedules. “I fully plan to date for the rest of my life,” he says.
Skylar says the couple doesn’t just wait for date nights to check in with one another, though. This often happens in the mornings, after Temi has made her peppermint tea and poured himself a cup of coffee. When they ask each other how they slept, she says, it’s not just a “nicety.” It’s a genuine question meant to foster connection.
“A lot of it happens during the day in the midst of work. We'll stop and we'll hug. Or we’ll slow dance in the kitchen,” she says. “Sometimes it's hard to set a whole date night when you have 7,000 things going on. So, we must grasp these moments and check in when we can. And I think it's become so organic to us that I actually didn't even realize how often we do it. But all day long, we're like, 'Are you good? I felt like your energy shifted,' because we're best friends, we just know. We just feel it happen.”
What’s better than being in love? Building wealth while doing it. Watch Making Cents here for real stories of couples who make money moves together.
Featured image by Cj Hart @hartbreak