Good things come to those who grind. The early bird gets the worm. Sleep is for the rich.
I can bet you $20 that you've seen one of the aforementioned quotes on a meme or status on social media. If you're like me, hearing any of the three anecdotes above immediately sends a wave of anxiety through your body, and makes you think of all of the things you won't possibly have time to accomplish today. The "grind" is a lifestyle that we as millennials boast and work hard to maintain because there's said to be a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. But Francheska Medina, a Harlem-based wellness advocate and media personality, says those theories are bullsh*t.
Francheska, now more popularly known as Hey Fran Hey and one third of the popular The Friend Zone podcast, is living proof that trying to keep up with the grind can mean risking both your physical and mental health.
Nearly a decade ago, the now 36-year-old wellness coach was on track to put out her debut musical project when she was struck by an illness that not even doctors could explain. She said, "I wasn't eating, stress levels were high, wasn't sleeping. Was kind of on that #TeamNoSleep bullshit that people are on now. But think about it, it's called "grind life." I grinded myself into nothingness and got so sick. And that summer was really bad. It was a rock bottom at the time, but it ended up being a complete shift in my consciousness, where I was hospitalized."
"I grinded myself into nothingness and got so sick."
Courtesy of Francheska Medina
Many times, we don't know what we have until it's gone, and that was true for many of life's basic necessities at this point in Fran's life. It was then that the young entrepreneur realized the only choice she had was to make a change in her lifestyle.
"Sometimes you take things for granted the most basic things. Like being able to walk, feed yourself, use the bathroom, shower. Those are things that we overlook on a day-to-day basis. And it took me losing the ability to do all of those things to realize, like woah. I am not focused on the areas of life where i should be focused and pouring my energy into, which is me. As a person, as a human being first, before music or creativity or a career - all of that had kind of taken a backseat to my goals. So that is where the shift came in of, Fran first, career next. Wellness became my priority."
"Fran first, career next. Wellness became my priority."
Since then, Fran hasn't looked back. She currently uses her platform to share information, tips, and resources to help other women live their best lives and truly find alignment. In addition to co-hosting The Friend Zone, Fran is currently on a 12-city wellness tour, and was just named one of the official hosts of HBO's Insecure Podcast, but somehow she still makes time to prioritize self-care.
We got a chance to talk to Fran about how she makes time for her own wellness despite her busy schedule, and here's what she had to say:
xoNecole: What is an average day or week like for you?
Fran: It's kind of hard to pin down because it changes so much. My self-care acts are my priority. Before, it was a thing where my work was first, and then I would kind of figure out ways to integrate self-care, but that's completely switched since I got older. Now self-care is first. So, I wake up in the morning, meditate, make my breakfast. Sensuality and catering to my five senses are kind of what helps me have a good day.
I'll have to have resins burning, make sure the lighting in my apartment is up to par. I even have bulbs that have a remote, so it changes with the color wheel. I'm very much a Taurus, all of my sense have to stimulated in order for me to wake up in the morning. Obviously, eating good food. I don't jump on the phone. Everyone who knows me knows I'm not texting, calling, or speaking to anyone before noon, because that's kind of my little cocoon time frame. I work out, go to the gym, run a three-miler, lift some weights, do some HIIT workouts.
Once I feel like Fran is taken care of, like my body, my mind, my emotional health, then I hop online and cater to my workload. I try to work from about noon until maybe 6 or 7, taking small breaks here and there, small dance breaks if I'm at home. Then I eat dinner, then I read or watch a doc. You know, something to keep myself sharp. I'm in bed by 11 now, that's been my biggest shift this year, fixing my sleep schedule. So I'm in bed by 11 now, which has been so great for me. It's been great for my mood and cut down on anxiety with a heavy schedule. Unless I'm traveling for the tours, that's a whole different ball game.
What do you find to be the most hectic part of your week/your work?
When you're creating weekly for so many different projects, it's easy for something to slip or fall to the wayside. I think with taking my time, and being so well organized now, has allowed me to focus on each project and give it 100 percent. I don't believe in multitasking. That's another thing that I've completely cut out. Because multitasking was what was making my projects slip. There's no way you can give 100 percent to multiple projects at once, so the way that I schedule myself is that each thing gets its own couple of hours or it's own day of my week. That was making me feel raggedy after a while.
How do you find balance with:
Friends?
I'm lucky enough that I work with all my friends. All the podcasts we're apart of, we're all integrated into it. So my podcasts, both of them are with my friends. My wellness tour is with my friends. I've designed a life where not only do I do what I want to do, but I'm also surrounded by the people that I want to be surrounded by. And luckily, we have the similar interests so our life can mesh in the different intersections, which is my favorite part. I literally have a dream life. So, that's how I get to see them.
"I've designed a life where not only do I do what I want to do, but I'm also surrounded by the people that I want to be surrounded by."
Tasos Katopodis/Getty Images for Westfield
Love/Relationships? Dating?
My last relationship was a mirror of where my head was at and it wasn't a good relationship. There were a lot of really heavy aspects of it that taught me a lot about how I view love. Your whole value system is mirrored to you through these relationships. So I realized I needed to take a break and recalibrate because I wasn't liking who I was in relationships and I realized I was falling into very similar patterns repeatedly. So I've actually been on sabbatical or hiatus from relationships until I can get to the point where I think I'd be a better and strong contribution, as well as receiving a partner that could be a better contribution. It just hasn't been a priority, I've had to do a little bit of work first.
Exercise? How has working out benefited you mentally and spiritually?
Exercise is a huge part of my lifestyle. Not so much being in the gym, like I'll make time for it. But it's more so just the connection. The connection with my body. It's making sure that with all these flights and all these projects that I'm getting good stretching in, that my circulation is flowing, that my heart is getting movement, that I'm getting sun because it's easy to stay cooped up working all day. It's more so the connection, knowing that I'm hitting all the cylinders. I like more restorative forms of working out. My body was completely different. I was a lot thinner and really ripped up, but it wasn't sustainable for me. I wanted something that could be integrated a little more seamlessly. So it's like riding my bike, going for a run outside. Even dancing from Afrobeat playlists.
Health? Do you cook or find yourself eating out?
Cooking more for sure. Because eating out, especially in Harlem, there aren't a lot of options for the food that I like to eat. It's growing because it's gentrified, so there are more vegan options. But I tend to just make my own stuff. I'm flexible between being a vegetarian and vegan. Eggs kind of makes me switch between the two.
Do you ever detox?
No, because my lifestyle at this point is one big detox. It's literally how I live, so I don't feel that I need to push my body to detox any more.
When you are going through a bout of uncertainty, or feeling stuck, how do you handle it?
Solitude. The only times I start feeling that way is when I'm listening to too many people and not listening to myself. It never fails. For me, I don't even view it as a bad thing, I just view it as a gauge of how much time I'm spending with my intuition, my own heart, my own thoughts. It's like a barometer that says, your ears have been perked a little too long. So I just withdraw a little bit, read more, write down my goals and thoughts and the way i want to execute thoughts. It's a sign that Fran, you need to spend a little more time to yourself.
And honestly, what does success mean to you?
Success for me changes for me day-to-day. But as long as I'm doing what I want. As long as I'm waking up and not feeling misaligned. Room for me to channel what Fran needs to put out into the world.
For more of Fran, follow her on Instagram and check out her website for curated calmness on the go, Hey Fran Hey.
Featured image courtesy of Hey Fran Hey
Taylor "Pretty" Honore is a spiritually centered and equally provocative rapper from Baton Rouge, Louisiana with a love for people and storytelling. You can probably find me planting herbs in your local community garden, blasting "Back That Thang Up" from my mini speaker. Let's get to know each other: @prettyhonore.
The Mecca Of Fashion: The Top Street Style Moments At Howard Homecoming
Outfits were planned, bags were packed, and cameras were ready to capture Howard University's collegiate spirit during its centennial Homecoming celebration. Not only does it hold the number one ranking as the most elite Historically Black College and University or its top performing academics, diversity of students and alumni, but the HBCU also leaves a legacy of style and grace.
The essence of effortless poise and refinement shines bright through the iconic university colors of indigo blue, red, and white. Every October, Howard University students, alumni, staff, and friends gather on the prestigious campus in Washington, D.C. to take part in time-honored traditions and events, which is Homecoming. This year's theme, “The Meccaverse,” was a week-long celebration of Howard University’s heritage, including the Homecoming football game and Bison Pep Rally, the Fashion Show, Greek Life Step Show, Homecoming Day of Service, Lavender Reception, and the iconic Yard Fest Concert.
As 2024 marked the 100th anniversary of the Howard Bison trek back to The Mecca and after two years of virtual events due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this was to be a celebration of a lifetime. We enlisted HU alumnus Sharmaine Harris, a luxury retail buyer, as she revisited her alma mater as eyes on the yard for fashion-forward outfits mixed with personal style and campus pride for the weeklong celebration.
Before we get to the looks, discover how attending Howard University impacted her career in fashion and her day-to-day style:
Credit: Sharmaine and Friends
xoNecole: Describe your personal style. Did attending Howard have any impact on developing it?
Sharmaine: Howard taught me that there’s no such thing as being TOO dressed. There’s always a reason to “put it on” and look presentable, even if it’s just for a day of classes. Standing out was celebrated and encouraged with my peers embracing the opportunity, giving me the confidence to try new styles and trends.
xoNecole: How did Howard shape your career as a luxury buyer?
Sharmaine: I studied Fashion Merchandising, through which I was fortunate to have professors who were very connected to the industry and able to give first-hand accounts of opportunities and what to expect post-college. I was also able to build a network through my peers and other Howard Alum, which has opened doors to endless possibilities both within fashion as well as daily life.
The same confidence instilled in me through my style has also been rooted deeply within me as I step into any role or project I’m faced with throughout my career.
xoNecole: This year marked Howard’s 100th-anniversary Homecoming celebration. Can you describe what the weekend looked and felt like?
Sharmaine: I’ve gone to many Howard Homecomings since graduating, but this year’s 100th anniversary felt like a huge family reunion filled with nothing but love. It was beautiful to see so many Bison return home looking great and radiating joy. It was beautiful!
xoNecole: What makes Howard fashion different from other HBCUs?
Sharmaine: Being that Howard is The Mecca, we have such a diverse population with each individual having their own spin on fashion. Getting dressed is second nature for us, but the layered confidence is our secret ingredient to make any look come together. Through that comfortability to push barriers, we have a legacy of setting trends, as indicated by the many alumni we have in the fashion and entertainment industry.
Keep scrolling for the top street style moments from The Mecca's Homecoming weekend:
Credit: Lacey Gallagher
Credit: Alan Henderson
Credit: JaLynn Davis
Credit: Dylan Davis
Credit: Caleb Smith
Credit: Kendall W.
Credit: Jordyn Finney
Credit: Vanessa Nneoma
Credit: Dr. Mariah Sankey-Thomas
Credit: Caleb MacBruce
Credit: Tiffany Battle
Credit: Teniola
Credit: Ilahi Creary
Credit: Nicolas Ryan Grant
Credit: Dylan Davis
Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image courtesy of Sharmaine Harris
Have you ever seen a movie that captures the nuances and complexities of Black love in such an authentic and captivating manner that you immediately feel compelled to add it to your favorites list? Witnessing the portrayal of our culture in a way that authentically represents our experiences on the big screen creates a sense of warmth and resonance deep within me.
As we cozy up in our pajamas and spend more time on the sofa, we can’t help but think about the go-to classics that get the job done every time. Like the way Darius looked at Nina or the way Sidney looked out for Dre, the Black love stories just feel good for the soul.
Keep reading for our top films that offer unique takes on love, culture, and connection, reflecting diverse Black experiences across time, place, and circumstance.
1.Love & Basketball (2000)
This classic tells the story of childhood friends and basketball enthusiasts Monica and Quincy, whose relationship evolves into romance as they pursue professional sports careers. Their journey reflects the highs and lows of balancing love with ambition. It’s a film that resonates with anyone who’s ever had to choose between passion and love. It’s low-key every millennial Black girl’s favorite movie.
2.Brown Sugar (2002)
Sidney and Dre share a deep-rooted love for hip-hop and each other, but neither realizes it until life's twists pull them apart. This heartfelt movie explores how passion for music can intertwine with matters of the heart. The chemistry between Sanaa Lathan and Taye Diggs is magnetic, adding a playful yet poignant layer to the story. As a writer and lover of music, I just connected with this film on so many levels.
3.The Best Man (1999)
In this romantic dramedy, a group of college friends reunites for a wedding, only to have secrets from the past unravel among them. The dynamics are both humorous and heartfelt, exploring themes of love, loyalty, and forgiveness. This film set the stage for the iconic sequel, The Best Man Holiday and The Best Man: Final Chapters. The way this friend group showed up for each other in all the ways always is why we stan The Best Man.
4.Poetic Justice (1993)
Chewing Gum Flirt GIF by Janet JacksonGiphyStarring Janet Jackson and Tupac Shakur, this road-trip romance follows Justice, a poet grieving her lost love, as she slowly opens her heart again. Set against a gritty South Central L.A. backdrop, the film is a beautiful blend of resilience, vulnerability, and romance. Maya Angelou’s poetry adds a soulful touch. To this day, the pair serves as a perfect couple’s costume.
5.Love Jones (1997)
“I'm the blues in your left thigh... trying to become the funk in your right.” In this cult favorite, Darius and Nina’s relationship unfolds in the heart of Chicago’s spoken-word scene. Their on-and-off romance explores themes of love, trust, and vulnerability in an artistically vibrant way. With its soulful soundtrack and poetic dialogue, Love Jones remains a touchstone for Black romantic cinema.
6.Think Like a Man (2012)
Based on Steve Harvey’s book, this ensemble comedy follows four couples whose love lives get upended when the women try to outsmart the men using Harvey's dating advice. The film’s witty dialogue and relatable characters make it a fun exploration of modern relationships. Its star-studded cast, featuring stars like Michael Ealy, Kevin Hart, and Taraji P. Henson, is a highlight.
7.Boomerang (1992)
This rom-com stars Eddie Murphy as a suave ad exec whose womanizing ways are challenged when he meets his match in Robin Givens. The film playfully addresses gender roles, power dynamics, and true love. With an iconic soundtrack and supporting roles by Halle Berry and Martin Lawrence, it’s a must-watch. This is one of the only films that had me like, “Damn, Eddie Murphy was actually fine!?”
8.Beyond the Lights (2014)
Pop star Noni and police officer Kaz come from two very different worlds but connect over their search for identity and purpose. This movie dives into the pressures of fame, mental health, and self-worth, set against a beautifully shot romance. Gugu Mbatha-Raw’s performance as Noni is utterly captivating.
9.Just Wright (2010)
Queen Latifah stars as a physical therapist who falls for her NBA client (Common), only to realize he's infatuated with her friend. This charming movie combines themes of self-confidence, unrequited love, and second chances. It’s a feel-good story with a refreshing message about inner beauty.
10.Jason's Lyric (1994)
Set in Houston, this intense love story between Jason and Lyric offers a poetic take on love amidst the trauma and violence of their pasts. It’s a powerful tale of hope and healing, underscored by a fantastic soundtrack. Jada Pinkett Smith and Allen Payne bring raw emotion to their roles.
11.The Photograph (2020)
Mae, a museum curator, unravels her mother's love story while grappling with her feelings for journalist Michael. This movie elegantly contrasts generational love stories, exploring how family history impacts our romantic choices. With Issa Rae and LaKeith Stanfield, it’s an intimate, visually stunning journey.
12.Waiting to Exhale (1995)
Four friends navigate love, heartbreak, and betrayal in this classic adaptation of Terry McMillan's novel. The movie, starring Angela Bassett and Whitney Houston, resonates with audiences for its honest depiction of complex relationships. It’s a celebration of friendship and resilience amid romantic ups and downs.
13.Sylvie’s Love (2020)
Set in 1950s Harlem, this visually lush romance follows Sylvie and Robert, who connect over a love of jazz but face challenges due to societal pressures. Their love story captures the nostalgic elegance of old Hollywood cinema while addressing race and ambition. Tessa Thompson and Nnamdi Asomugha deliver memorable performances.
14.How Stella Got Her Groove Back (1998)
Stella, a successful businesswoman, finds romance with a younger man while on vacation in Jamaica, rediscovering herself in the process. This film is a lighthearted yet empowering take on self-love and embracing change. Angela Bassett’s chemistry with Taye Diggs makes it unforgettable.
15.The Wood (1999)
This nostalgic film weaves between the past and present as three childhood friends reflect on their lives and loves before one of them gets married. Set in Inglewood, California, it’s a heartwarming story about friendship, first love, and coming of age. With plenty of humor and sentiment, it’s relatable and timeless.
16.Two Can Play That Game (2001)
Vivica A. Fox stars as a confident woman who devises a plan to keep her boyfriend (Morris Chestnut) in check, but her scheme quickly backfires. This film humorously explores gender dynamics and dating games, with clever insights into relationships. It’s a playful reminder that love doesn’t follow a script.
17.Moonlight (2016)
This Oscar-winning film follows Chiron's journey of self-discovery and his struggle to understand his sexuality and identity. Though not a traditional romance, Moonlight deeply explores love, identity, and acceptance in powerful, poetic ways. It’s visually and emotionally stunning, resonating with audiences worldwide.
18.Something New (2006)
This romantic comedy explores love across racial boundaries, as high-powered Black lawyer Kenya finds herself unexpectedly falling for her white gardener. It’s a thoughtful exploration of love, race, and societal expectations. Sanaa Lathan and Simon Baker’s chemistry makes it both charming and impactful.
19.Deliver Us from Eva (2003)
Eva’s controlling nature makes her sisters’ boyfriends hire a man to distract her, only for him to fall in love with her. This rom-com is full of humor and charm, exploring love’s unpredictability. Gabrielle Union shines as the headstrong, no-nonsense Eva, with LL Cool J adding warmth as her love interest.
20.Hitch (2005)
Hitch, a film starring Will Smith, portrays Black men as romantic partners, challenging stereotypes. It explores interracial relationships and contributes to a diverse representation of Black love in mainstream cinema. It’s one of those movies you can watch over and over because it’s hilarious and authentic. The storytelling is just too good.
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Featured image Waiting to Exhale/Gif