I'm an island girl at heart.
I was born, raised, and still live in the beautiful islands of The Bahamas so I know for a fact that when I see bridal parties, girl squads, and women in general living their best lives on an island getaway and hashtagging their pics with #travelgoals, they're telling no lies!
I was invited on an all-girls trip to Barbados last year and I was super excited to soak in the sun on an island I'd never visited before! As a travel writer, this trip proved to be like none I'd ever experienced.
The trip was the brainchild of Black Girls Travel Too (BGTT) owner Danny Rivers-Mitchell whose company encourages, promotes, and supports Black women traveling the world and occupying spaces "they" say we can't or shouldn't be in. For the first time ever, 10 influential Black queens descended on an island at once to soak up some sun and prove that we too have an audience, reach and influence. In fact, when combined our followers total more than one million!
The ladies & Writer Ianthia Smith showing the impact of their reachPhoto by Will Edmond
How's that for influence?
After an early morning meet up in the JFK Airport in New York, friendships, bonds, and connections were immediately formed, and as we boarded our five-hour flight to paradise, it was crystal clear that this would be a girls trip I wouldn't soon forget.
Like most island destinations, the minute you hop off the plane, you're immediately hugged by sweet island breezes and intoxicated by the salt left lingering the air by the ocean's waves. Barbados is no different. It didn't help that we were in Rihanna's home country either, so our inner "bad gals" were all activated as we brought the bikinis, the melanin, and the sass!
Check out these 5 times me and my newest gal pals got our entire lives in Barbados!
Private Cooking Class on the Beach
Writer Ianthia Smith cooking with Barbados celeb chef Craig Greenidge
Photo by Will Edmond
Our first day out, we headed to the beach for a cooking demo with one of Barbados' celebrity chefs, Craig Greenidge. The entire atmosphere at Pirate's Cove was so tranquil and serene. Hammocks swayed in the midday sun as tropical drinks and cups of rum punch flowed endlessly. The sea glistened as the powder white sand seemingly evaporated between my toes. We were like little kids on the beach; dipping our toes in the water, running amuck and trying hard to pay attention to the chef as he walked us through cooking our meal of cassava chips, fish cakes, and curry chicken salad.
We helped to whip up a traditional Bajan meal and washed it back with more rum punch, of course. The food was delicious, but the relaxing mood and quiet of the beach satisfied our appetites more. We walked along the sandy shoreline for what seemed like hours, bonding, connecting, and capturing fire images of each other.
The results of the girls' private cooking lesson on the beach
Photo c/o Ianthia Smith
Nikki Beach was LIT!
Writer Ianthia Smith keeping things mellow in yellow on Nikki Beach
Photo by Will Edmond
No girls trip to Barbados is complete without a visit to Nikki Beach. I was not ready for the insane amount of fun and frolic that was awaiting my arrival at this posh, luxurious destination. The minute we arrived, it was clear that Nikki Beach was made with a queen in mind. Day beds and lounges stretched the length of the pool on one side, while the beach gave endless views on the other. Our section was ready and waiting for us when we arrived and we quickly traded whatever we were wearing for bikinis and one pieces. The vibe at Nikki Beach was lit for the entire time we were there. Freshly made mojitos were delivered to us with all the pomp and pageantry we deserved; our delicious spread was served on the cutest little boat complete with sparklers, music and...abs!
The beautiful ladies & Writer Ianthia Smith stylin' and profilin'
Photo by Will Edmond
A Catamaran Cruise for the Queens
The ladies enjoying sunbathing on their luxurious cruise
Photo by Will Edmond
We left land for a bit to head out on the water for a day of sailing and sun bathing...and scoping out Rihanna's mansion! On the high seas, we coined the phrase, "Riri, are you home?!" because we annoyingly shouted it for 20 minutes straight, hoping our favorite bad gal would hear us, and possibly come out on the balcony. We had a successful day of doing absolutely nothing as we lathered our melanin in the warm Bajan sun. Our catamaran cruise took us on a magical tour of the island, passing by mansions and five-star developments on the way. At one point, we stopped to snorkel and swim with the turtles and hop on jet skis, where some of us were far more adventurous than others. It was one of the most relaxing parts of the trip and...Rihanna never came outside lol.
Visiting Rihanna’s Childhood Home
Writer Ianthia Smith posted up on Rihanna Drive
Photo c/o Ianthia Smith
So, this time we got a little closer to Rihanna, but she still wasn't home! Either way, we got our entire lives visiting the home she grew up in. The tiny, but colorful house sits on a quaint corner named Rihanna Drive, in honor of our girl! There's this huge plaque sitting at the corner of the entrance, paying homage to the music and beauty mogul. A tiny red and white bar also welcomes you in. This building is definitely everything Rihanna, with paintings splashed on the ground featuring some of her song titles. We spent so much time at Riri's homestead taking a million photos on her front porch and chatting it up with the neighbors and Ms. Marj, the cutest little old lady who claims to be Rihanna's godmother. Here is where we got to see just how much the people of Barbados love and cherish Rihanna, just like we do!
The Safari Ride with Breathtaking Views
Writer Ianthia Smith looking out into the beauty of the ocean
Photo c/o Ianthia Smith
On our last full day on the island, we hopped on two separate trucks for a Bajan safari ride at dusk. We got a late start and raced to beat the setting sun. But before the light escaped us, we were able to take in some of the most enchanting views of Barbados. We trucked through these close knit communities passing by mountains, beaches, and the most beautiful smiles, and warmest waves on the way. I had no clue Barbados had as many breathtaking views as it does. Bathsheba, to me, though, was the most beautiful. With large boulders sitting far out in the middle of the ocean and some casually resting on the roadside, the views here were dramatic, but so calming. On the way back, our tour guide Glein let us connect to his Bluetooth for an hour-long Rihanna jam out session. We sang our lungs out to so many of her songs as the winds flung our hair to the skies and the nighttime cool kissed us goodbye...until next time.
This was my first trip to another Caribbean country and I can admit that I've certainly been missing out. But being in Barbados, I enjoyed this strange familiarity and quickly remembered that even if you take the girl off the island and put her on another one, she'll always be at home.
It's all about peace and love on this gorgeous Barbados adventure
Photo by Will Edmond
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Featured image by Will Edmond. Originally published January 15, 2019.
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The essence of effortless poise and refinement shines bright through the iconic university colors of indigo blue, red, and white. Every October, Howard University students, alumni, staff, and friends gather on the prestigious campus in Washington, D.C. to take part in time-honored traditions and events, which is Homecoming. This year's theme, “The Meccaverse,” was a week-long celebration of Howard University’s heritage, including the Homecoming football game and Bison Pep Rally, the Fashion Show, Greek Life Step Show, Homecoming Day of Service, Lavender Reception, and the iconic Yard Fest Concert.
As 2024 marked the 100th anniversary of the Howard Bison trek back to The Mecca and after two years of virtual events due to the COVID-19 pandemic, this was to be a celebration of a lifetime. We enlisted HU alumnus Sharmaine Harris, a luxury retail buyer, as she revisited her alma mater as eyes on the yard for fashion-forward outfits mixed with personal style and campus pride for the weeklong celebration.
Before we get to the looks, discover how attending Howard University impacted her career in fashion and her day-to-day style:
Credit: Sharmaine and Friends
xoNecole: Describe your personal style. Did attending Howard have any impact on developing it?
Sharmaine: Howard taught me that there’s no such thing as being TOO dressed. There’s always a reason to “put it on” and look presentable, even if it’s just for a day of classes. Standing out was celebrated and encouraged with my peers embracing the opportunity, giving me the confidence to try new styles and trends.
xoNecole: How did Howard shape your career as a luxury buyer?
Sharmaine: I studied Fashion Merchandising, through which I was fortunate to have professors who were very connected to the industry and able to give first-hand accounts of opportunities and what to expect post-college. I was also able to build a network through my peers and other Howard Alum, which has opened doors to endless possibilities both within fashion as well as daily life.
The same confidence instilled in me through my style has also been rooted deeply within me as I step into any role or project I’m faced with throughout my career.
xoNecole: This year marked Howard’s 100th-anniversary Homecoming celebration. Can you describe what the weekend looked and felt like?
Sharmaine: I’ve gone to many Howard Homecomings since graduating, but this year’s 100th anniversary felt like a huge family reunion filled with nothing but love. It was beautiful to see so many Bison return home looking great and radiating joy. It was beautiful!
xoNecole: What makes Howard fashion different from other HBCUs?
Sharmaine: Being that Howard is The Mecca, we have such a diverse population with each individual having their own spin on fashion. Getting dressed is second nature for us, but the layered confidence is our secret ingredient to make any look come together. Through that comfortability to push barriers, we have a legacy of setting trends, as indicated by the many alumni we have in the fashion and entertainment industry.
Keep scrolling for the top street style moments from The Mecca's Homecoming weekend:
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Join us in celebrating HBCU excellence! Check out our Best In Class hub for inspiring stories, empowering resources, and everything you need to embrace the HBCU experience.
Featured image courtesy of Sharmaine Harris
For Love Is Blind fans, Tyler’s fixation on having kids throughout the season raised some eyebrows—but what he wasn’t saying turned out to be even more revealing. In an episode that aired on Oct. 2, Tyler dropped a major bombshell on Ashley outside the pods and after their engagement, confessing that he had fathered three children through a past sperm donation to a lesbian couple. What's the issue here? Well, in the pods, Tyler had previously told Ashley that he didn’t have any kids. Point blank.
This, plus other allegations about him spreading like wildfire while the season was airing, had social media giving the reality star some major side-eye.
"I'm not upset by you trying to help a couple have kids," Ashley says in the clip. "I think that's admirable in certain ways, but the issue comes in with me feeling like I was not getting the full picture of you. And once you're not given the full picture of something, it's hard to not question everything."
(L to R) Ashley Adionser, Tyler Francis in episode 709 of 'Love Is Blind'Courtesy of Netflix © 2024
She continued, "Me being a single woman before this, to come in this scenario, fall in love with a guy who has three sperm babies, sperm-donor babies is a lot to absorb. And the wedding is in like two weeks."
The revelation, paired with Ashley’s reaction—she referred to them as “sperm babies” in a clip now making the rounds on social media—left both Ashley and viewers shocked and questioning his honesty. They also wondered why he couldn't have just said that from the beginning versus waiting so close to their wedding day to make the big reveal and feared that he had blindsided Ashley by concealing "the truth" from her for so long.
Tyler Francis 'Love Is Blind' Kids Controversy, Explained.
Ahead of the season 7 reunion, the mother of the children, Brietta "Bri" Thomas, would break her silence on social media in a series of Instagram Reels detailing her side of the story "to attempt to protect them from a narrative that must end." In the now-deleted videos, which you can watch in full here, Bri describes Tyler as one of her best friends and the father of her "three beautiful children." She explains that Tyler was not supposed to act as a father figure to her son as that was understood to be a sperm donation dynamic for her and her now ex-wife.
During her separation from her ex-wife and while caring for her son as a newborn, Tyler was there for her as her best friend while she was going through an "extremely, extremely tough time in my life." Bri claims that Tyler reached out and asked if he could step up as a father to their son to which they had a deep conversation about what that would look like, and she later agreed. Since then, he has been both the bio dad and an active father to their son. Bri then clarifies that their twin girls were not at all in a situation like their son.
"The twins were simply unplanned. If that needs to be spelled out for some people [the twins] are the result of natural, unplanned intercourse with absolutely no complexities surrounding parentage. They were conceived before [their son] turned one. And I admit, fully admit, I have not always been the most comfortable with that truth due to the fact that I've lived the majority of my life as a lesbian. Nonetheless, it is exactly that: the truth."
For Bri, the issue wasn’t about jealousy—it was about Tyler abandoning his commitment to the children he helped bring into the world. After actively being in their lives for years, he suddenly distanced himself, only to mention them on a reality show in a dismissive way, reducing them to "sperm babies" to suit his own narrative. Bri was frustrated by his decision to frame their lives this way, despite the reality being much different. Hence, she decided to come forward with "the truth."
Social media called BS on Tyler's version of events then, and after Bri's statement, social media knew they'd clocked it.
In this deep dive, we’ll unpack the many ways social media has set the stage for what has turned out to be season 7's juiciest revelations, and thanks to Jessie Woo and TikTokers like StorytimewithRikkii, what Bri’s side of the story reveals about the truth of what happened behind the screen.
What Tyler Has Said About His Kids:
Tyler and Ashley would later appear in the season 7 reunion as a united front, with Ashley explaining that they felt the need to bring an off-camera discussion where she learned everything about his "sperm donation" on-camera as a way to be authentic, but that they also wanted to protect "those kids" by not going super in-depth about everything.
Tyler told host Vanessa Lachey, "Those kids, that family, they did not sign up for this. So what is happening now is I try to keep that from happening. Their birth certificates are online. Things that shouldn't be happening are now happening." Adding, "To get into the story, I did help a friend and her wife start a family, but her wife ended up leaving her and left her high and dry. This was my very close friend. So I stepped in, voluntarily stepped in and helped. So there are pictures of me around. You'll see me around."
He continued, "I've spent holidays with all my friends, you know, all their kids. And I played a part that became very shaky with a friend. And there's no rule books to this. There's no set lines to this. But I do wanna let people know Ashley knows all this. This is news to the world. This has never been news to us. And I'm giving this explanation now because I feel like the world is waiting for it. But I don't owe anyone an explanation but my wife. And if she's sitting here with me..."
(L to R) Ashley Adionser, Tyler Francis at the 'Love Is Blind' season 7 reunion
Courtesy of Netflix © 2024
What Ashley Has Said About Knowing About Tyler's Kids:
Ashley shared with hosts Vanessa and Nick Lachey that she had some things to say, "starting with... like, who do you think has better insight on what's going on, social media or me?" She would add that she felt it was "insulting to my intelligence" that viewers saw her as "blindsided" on the show by Tyler's confession and that she felt she needed to make the show an "authentic experience" by bringing an off-camera conversation he brought to her about the kids on-camera which is the scene the world saw.
"The very thing that we didn't want to happen happened," Ashley told Vanessa, referencing the online discourse and what we can assume is Bri's and Bri's mother's statements online. "And the thing with humanity is they have a hard time -- we have a hard time -- understanding anything that we don't get, anything that's taboo, anything that's out of our norm. And that's exactly what's happening. Instead of trying to rationalize, like maybe this was hard to navigate, right? And for me, I just know Tyler, in his heart, to know that it had to be hard to navigate with a friend. Way easier when you're removed.
"And with him growing up in a single-parent household, and in that scenario, when that happened with the divorce, it was very hard for him to remove himself and not be involved when this is now a single mom, right? So that was hard for him, and I just know that he is a good person who went in a little too deep and didn't know what to do."
What Ashley Said Recently on 'The Viall Files':
A week after the reunion episode aired, Nick Viall dropped a previously recorded episode of The Viall Files podcast featuring Ashley called "Going Deeper with Love Is Blind's Ashley" on Nov. 6. In the episode, Ashley doubled down on some things shared on the reunion, as well as anything she is trusting as truth from Tyler. Tyler was not there, but she and the hosts spoke a lot about Tyler's situation with the kids and Tyler's perspective, but most notably, why he's a "good guy" and not the deadbeat social media is trying to paint him as.
According to Ashley, Tyler let the kids call him "dad" and that they knew him as their "bio dad" but that it was a "mistake" on his behalf because it aided in blurring the lines of where they all actually stood. "And it’s very taboo and very odd to think about, but I don’t think there’s any rule book to how adoption, sperm donating, or egg donation should go. I do think that it was a mistake on his behalf to blur those lines so heavily because of the kids.
"Not even just the woman [Bri], but the kids. And I know she wanted him to mainly be a part [of the kids’ lives] for the boy. Main -- not even the girls -- you rarely ever see him with the girls here and there, it’s mainly the boy. And Tyler stepped up. He was like, 'Sure, I’ll be their dad.'"
Ashley said the situation was "awkward" for her to navigate and denied that the kids and Tyler were even that close since it was never a "daily, weekly, monthly basis" sort of relationship, just holidays. "He was never ever ever around on a daily basis, weekly basis, monthy basis." She shared with Nick Viall that Tyler wanted to back off long ago and alluded that he didn't because he wanted to keep Bri as a friend. "And so I think it’s hard for people to digest too because in a normal sperm donation situation, you can pick and choose your involvement, but most of the time you aren’t that involved unless it is like a sister or like a friend or whatever."
She would ultimately say that Tyler didn't feel like the three children and Bri were his family, and that was his breaking point. "He came to a point where he -- whenever she would get in a new relationship, you know with a new woman, she wants to have a family with a woman. And he would always be on the outside looking in. He has no rights, he can’t determine where they go to school, he can’t say anything. He can’t discipline. He can’t do anything.
"So to him, he’s like, ‘I pop up, and I’m an uncle and I play with them and I kiki. I wear these Dad t-shirts that your grandma-the grandma-her mom-is giving me, you know, and you know put on this face, but this is not my family. I’m on the outside looking in.’"
Ashley believes the world has it wrong and reiterates that Tyler is a good guy who just got caught up and that the issue between him and Bri is simply a difference in perspective. "And that’s why I tell people he was a good guy that got too deep and didn’t know what to do next. So when he finally decided to cut the situation off, of course, it’s awkward, and it hurts him as well to know about the kids, but he felt it was better to do it now than to wait any longer, and he’s like, ‘I want my own family. Like I want my own things.’ And she’s probably like, ‘Well damn, you were around, you know? Why this now?’
"They just have two different perspectives, I would say and I think that even Tyler’s friends and parents – and again, it’s kinda a little difficult for me to talk about this because I wasn’t there. I’m only going off of the things that I know, and things I’m trusting. And if anything ever comes out differently, I’ll do like a Reesa Teesa and give you guys the scoop," she told Nick.
Ashley also told the podcast hosts that Tyler had cut Bri and the kids off a year or more before going on the show.
Bri Breaks Down a Timeline of Events with Jessie Woo & Storytime w/ Rikki:
While Ashley and Tyler seem intent on upholding the narrative they've carefully crafted, media personality Jessie Woo and TikTok creator Storytime w/ Rikki, who goes by StorytimewithRikkii on the platform, gave Bri a safe space to speak her piece and respond to some of the things Ashley had detailed in her podcast appearance with Nick Viall.
There, she also provided a timeline of events, highlighting the facts and continues to emphasize her intention isn't to bash Tyler, it's merely to bring clarity to the fact that this is about him coming in and out of his children's lives and then trying to reduce them to certain terms as a means to distance himself from them. As a fan of the show Love Is Blind, she had no problem in the first batch of episodes where Tyler and Ashley spoke about kids. She said it was "hurtful" but she wasn't going to insert herself because her kids weren't mentioned specifically or her.
However, in the later episodes of the season, where the kids were referred to as "sperm babies," she felt compelled to come forward and make the truth clear, which is why she took to her IG to do so. "That’s a lie against me and my children specifically."
Bri doubled down on the fact that Tyler's proximity and responsibility towards their son was never supposed to be anything more than a sperm donor situation. At first, he was helping her and her now ex-wife out. That is the part of the story they both agree on. "He was not supposed to be a father to Cairo. I planned to have this child with a woman," she explained to Jessie and Rikki. Even after her ex-wife left her, she was prepared to be a single mom. "In my mind, I was going to now be a single mom to one child. Tyler reached out to me," she added.
Bri said that Tyler told her he didn't want their son to be raised by a single mom since he was raised by a single mom and didn't want that to be her situation. Bri continued, "If you are stepping up as his father, I would like help in regards to all of those things. And if you can’t do that, then that’s totally fine, like you don’t have to step up.’ He agreed. We both agreed. I said, ‘Let me think about it.’ It took me a couple of days... Ultimately, I agreed. ‘Yes, you are biologically his dad.’ To me at the time, this is admirable…" adding, "I never reached out and asked him for this, but I was grateful that he did want to step in."
Bri said that he had been acting as a father to their son from that moment on and that was back in 2017.
She also described how the twins came into the picture when Jessie asked if the twins were supposed to be a sperm donor situation. Bri confirmed that the twins weren’t planned. "I was never planning on having multiple kids with Tyler. We had sex, and I got pregnant. And there was never an agreement about parenting these children because I had sex and I got pregnant. You’re the dad, I’m the mom, we already have a son that we’re agreeing to and we were going to have three children." Tyler would even cut the cord and sign the birth certificate for the twins.
Shortly after, they transitioned into living together as they co-parent. While she was pregnant with the twins, they lived in the same apartment building, but she said Tyler would stay with her a lot because he was helping her with their son who was a newborn while she was pregnant with multiples, and they would also attend doctors' appointments together. At the time, they lived in the same building together, but he would stay with her a lot to help out during her pregnancy.
"As it got closer to the twins being born, we needed more space. We rented a house together to have a lot more space for these multiple children. And like I said in my other video, he stayed in the basement, I stayed in the main bedroom, we just lived in the house together to co-parent these three children together."
One of the hosts, Rikki, asked if they ever experienced a shift similar to the one they are in now as they were co-parenting and living together. Bri said that they stopped renting a house together in late 2019 because they were arguing a lot, but nothing as severe as this recent cut-off happened until 2021. "This time, it was about financials. And he stopped responding. Basically, cut me -- without telling me -- he just stopped responding. He cut me and the children off. This was March of 2021. We stopped living in this house together [in] late 2019 so he was still around after we moved out of this house for a good amount of time. But in late March 2021, he did cut ties with us and we didn’t hear from him until late March 2022."She went into further detail and explained it was over finances and his wanting to claim the kids on his taxes. Despite arguments and disagreements they sometimes had though, Bri says that they were always friends first and foremost. "That was my best friend. So he was around even though we had these disagreements often about how he could be doing more for the children. If I was going through stuff, I would reach out to Tyler. If he was going through stuff, we’re talking about it. We were friends."
Bri also shared that she saw him the day before he left to film Love Is Blind. She and Tyler had talked about her and the kids going to the wedding. She offered to take him to the airport, wished him good luck, and told him to make a genuine effort in finding true connection on the show. He didn’t think it would work, but as a friend who was “100% supportive,” she encouraged him to give it a real try.
In the back of her mind, she had a thought about him cutting them off again, potentially since he had done it before in March 2021. He reassured her and promised he would never do that to them again. "'Bri, I love you. I love these children. I would never do that to y’all again.' And I wanted to believe him. I wanted to believe he would never do this again because if I thought he would do this again, I would [have] never allowed him back in my children’s lives."
Throughout the conversation with Jessie and Rikki, Bri provided proof in the form of texts and screenshots, and the receipts were receipt-ing. In them, Tyler went from texting her pretty regularly about what he was experiencing while filming, but eventually, a lull started to happen in their communication again, and Bri began to understand what was happening again.
Regardless of what Tyler and Ashley might claim, we won't get too deeply into what this looks like, but children aren’t just a "gray area" that disappears when you find your real family on TV. Bri made it clear she wasn’t about to let Tyler pull the disappearing act with their kids' lives whenever it suited him, which led her to take the legal route and the $30K he's now expected to pay in back child support.
So while the receipts have definitely been receipt-ing, this situation serves as a crucial reminder: fathers should take accountability for the homes they help create, regardless of how the family came together.
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Featured image courtesy of Netflix