

If you've been following this site (or reading our newsletter) for even a couple of months now, you know that we happily and unapologetically talk about sex quite a bit. If we're not breaking down things about the male and female orgasm or exploring sex positions, we're sharing insights we've gotten on oral sex or providing tips on how to have a blended, simultaneous or—our personal favorite—intensified climax. They say that she who learns, teaches. Sexually, that is a motto that we thrive by!
But if there's one thing about sex that couples tell me that they struggle with the most, it's finding the time to basically do what they do. If they've got kids, sometimes they are too exhausted, even for a quickie, by the time they make it to their own bedroom. And while morning sex sounds good in theory, between having mix-matched wake-up schedules, morning breath and, for women, a man's erection sometimes digging in their back in the most awkward kind of way—this kind of sex is not always the most sensual or seductive option to go with. (I hear you!)
Still, it's irrefutable that morning sex (even if it is a quickie) can reduce stress, give you an energy boost, improve your levels of concentration and productivity, burn a few calories and make you feel closer to your partner all throughout the day.
So, if your only real issue with morning sex is it doesn't feel all that sexy, maybe these tips will turn it into something that you're more open to trying (or trying more often)—maybe even tomorrow at sunrise.
Keep Water by the Bed
Did you know that one sign of dehydration is bad breath? If during your waking hours, you can't seem to get the "tartness" from your mouth under control, drinking more agua just might get that under control. Something else that water is able to do is wash away odor-causing bacteria; that's why it's also a good idea to keep a couple of recyclable bottles of it (because surely you're not still drinking out of plastic bottles, right?) by each bed stand. That way, if you don't want to hop out of bed to brush your teeth first, you can still get some of that stank breath handled.
And Some Altoids
Speaking of not-the-best breath, if water isn't enough, you can never go wrong with Altoids (so long as they are the minty and not sour variety). Matter of fact, if you wake up with a headache, rumor on the street is since Altoids are a mint, they might even be able to help you out with that as well. (Welp, there goes the "I've got a headache" excuse, huh?)
Also, Some Organic Baby Wipes
If this is TMI, I apologize in advance. I'm bringing it up because it's relevant to the point. There's a male friend of mine who says that he likes nothing more than going down on his lady when he picks her up from work. I don't mean once they get home; I mean right there in the car. I'll admit that there is something sexy about that, but the realist in me wonders if it's the cleanest thing on the planet to do. When I brought that up, he didn't miss a beat—"Girl, I keep a stash of baby wipes in the glove compartment."
Come to find out, he's not the only one. I read quite a few articles stating that many folks will keep some organic ones by their bedside in case they don't want to wash up before gettin' it on. So, if you want to engage your partner but you're feeling a little self-conscious, apparently baby wipes are a popular go-to solution.
Oh, and Some Lube Too
From what I've researched, a healthy virile man will have anywhere between 3-5 erections throughout the night that will last between 25-35 minutes each. As far as what causes a man to have nocturnal penile tumescence (NPT)—the technical term for "morning wood"—a man being super relaxed, him experiencing a shift in his hormones or him having an erotic dream (or rubbing against your fine self) may be the cause.
All of this can explain why your man may be up and ready to go at the crack of dawn. If you need a little more time to (no pun intended) open up to the idea, another great bed stand addition is some lube. That way, if neither of you have 20 minutes or more to get you "naturally ready", you've still got something that can help you two to comfortably speed up the process.
Get Some Blackout Curtains
Some women have told me that they aren't big fans of morning sex, not because of the sex itself, but because the light that is piercing through their windows makes them a little self-conscious when it comes to their body image. If you can totally relate, one way to workaround that is to install some blackout curtains. I got introduced to them when I went to Alaska for the first time, arrived late at night, it still looked like 5pm and the people there told me that it doesn't get completely dark during May-July. Anyway, they said what helps them to sleep are blackout curtains. I copped some when I came back home and yep, they work.
So, if it's morning, you're in the mood, but you'd still prefer for it to look like it's nighttime, you can get a pair of your own curtains that keep the light out at stores like Walmart or Target.
Turn on a Little White Noise
I typically don't have any trouble falling asleep. But I must admit that since I've been adding some white noise (noise that contains frequencies to block out "outside noise") into my sleep routine, rest has become a next level experience! What I tend to turn on are rainstorms. I adore all things rain; I really do. Although I'm currently not riding the sex train, back when I was, one of my favorite songs was "Making Love in the Rain" (what y'all know about Herb Alpert featuring Janet Jackson and Lisa Keith?!).
If you love the combination of sex and rain too, white noise can make that happen for you, even on a bright and sunny morning. Just invest in a white noise machine or there are white noise channels on YouTube can provide you rain or many other sounds too. (Just put "white noise" or "white noise for sleeping" in the search field on the site.)
Meditate Together First
If you go to your favorite search engine and look for tips on how to have mind-blowing orgasms, at least 70 percent of them are going to encourage you to breathe deeply. It's what helps you to relax your muscles, remove toxins from your body and open up your pelvic floor as well.
That's why meditation is also on this list. Even if all you do is sit up in the bed, face on another while holding hands, close your eyes and breathe in and out for five minutes, it's a great way to mentally, emotionally and spiritually (re)connect, so that morning sex will be that much more easier and intensified.
Kiss Them—Anywhere or Everywhere
Foreplay should never be totally ignored, even if you've only got 15 minutes or so for morning sex. A kiss on the back of the neck, on the chest or…shoot, anywhere can be a very sweet and sexy way to wake your partner up from their slumber. It can definitely be more enticing and arousing than your standard alarm clock.
Don’t Be “Afraid” of a Little Water Action
Even though I provided a few suggestions on how to make morning sex more pleasant without getting out of bed, please don't underestimate the joy, power and pleasure of having sex in the shower! It gets you clean (and dirty, if you know what I mean), boosts your oxytocin levels and, if you're a little on the antsy side about period sex, having it in your bathtub can help to put your mind more at ease. Shower sex really is the ultimate kind of multi-tasking!
If this is the kind of sex that you have yet to master, no worries; I've got a few tips. First, cover up your hair with a shower cap (who has time to dry and style their hair right before heading off to work?!). Second, make sure you've got a shower mat down (so that y'all aren't slippin'-and-sliddin' everywhere). Third, test the water with your hand before hoppin' in (trust me, this tip is a lifesaver!). Four, go with using some shower gel instead of a bar of soap; it's easier to apply and share (did you know that there is edible shower gel? Click here to get some). And finally, keep certain sex positions in mind—stand up while in the doggy style position; wrap your legs around your partner while your back is up against the wall, or sit on your partner while he's sitting on the edge of the tub.
As far as the shower rod goes, I'll just say that you should try that at your own risk. Some are not as sturdy as others.
Get Up Before the Kids Do
I saved this one for last because probably the most challenging thing about morning sex is deciding what you'd like more of—sex or sleep. But if the vote is sex and you've got kids in your house, the best way to get it in while being totally uninterrupted is if you get up before they do. This means that you need to set your alarm clock to wake you up earlier than your children arise not you (because usually they will beat you to the punch).
Yeah, that might mean waking up before sunrise sometimes, but if it means that you can get an orgasm or two by doing that, at least 1-3 times a month, it makes losing a little sleep worth it. Doesn't it?
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
10 Sex Resolutions Every Married Couple Should Make
Blended Orgasms Need To Be The Next To-Do On Your Sexual Hit List
If You're In A Committed Relationship, Avoid These Sex Mistakes At All Costs
Featured image by Getty Images.
It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
'He Said, She Said': Love Stories Put To The Test At A Weekend For Love
At the A Weekend For Love retreat, we sat down with four couples to explore their love stories in a playful but revealing way with #HeSaidSheSaid. From first encounters to life-changing moments, we tested their memories to see if their versions of events aligned—because, as they say, every story has three sides: his, hers, and the truth.
Do these couples remember their love stories the same way? Press play to find out.
Episode 1: Indira & Desmond – Love Across the Miles
They say distance makes the heart grow fonder, but for Indira & Desmond, love made it stronger. Every mile apart deepened their bond, reinforcing the unshakable foundation of their relationship. From their first "I love you" to the moment they knew they had found home in each other, their journey is a beautiful testament to the endurance of true love.
Episode 2: Jay & Tia – A Love Story Straight Out of a Rom-Com
If Hollywood is looking for its next Black love story, they need to take notes from Jay & Tia. Their journey—from an awkward first date to navigating careers, parenthood, and personal growth—proves that love is not just about romance but also resilience. Their story is full of laughter, challenges, and, most importantly, a love that stands the test of time.
Episode 3: Larencia & Mykel – Through the Highs and Lows
A date night with police helicopters overhead? Now that’s a story! Larencia & Mykel have faced unexpected surprises, major life changes, and 14 years of choosing each other every single day. But after all this time, do they actually remember things the same way? Their episode is sure to bring some eye-opening revelations and a lot of laughs.
Episode 4: Soy & Osei – A Love Aligned in Purpose
From a chance meeting at the front door to 15 years of unwavering love, faith, and growth, Soy & Osei prove that when two souls are aligned in love and purpose, nothing can shake their foundation. Their journey is a powerful reminder that true love is built on mutual support, shared values, and a deep connection that only strengthens with time.
Each of these couples has a unique and inspiring story to tell, but do their memories match up? Watch #HeSaidSheSaid to find out!
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Feature image screenshot/ xoNecole YouTube
How Your Rising Sign Is The Key To Unlocking More Financial Abundance In Your Life
Abundance is a mindset and it's one you can obtain more effortlessly by knowing your birth chart. Your birth chart in Astrology reflects your cosmic blueprint for this lifetime and maps out things for you like your purpose, destiny, and financial potential. There are key ways to earn income or increase your finances and Astrology helps you dive into that. By knowing your financial strengths, weaknesses, and gifts, you can enhance the abundance surrounding you and align yourself more with what resonates.
In Astrology, there are a few areas of your birth chart that signify what your financial world looks like and have the potential to look at as well. Your 2nd house, rules your finances, personal income, and values, your 8th house rules your shared finances and the money you receive from partnerships or through marriage, and your 11th house rules your hopes and dreams, manifestations, and what you have accumulated through your career or business. The sign Venus also represents finances and luxury, and the placement of this planet is key to understanding your financial purpose as well.
We each come into this life with specific skill sets and perspectives that have the potential to help us live the life of our dreams and fulfill our intentions. By understanding where you tend to naturally thrive in life, you open the door to financial freedom and empowerment. What the stars say about your financial potential is the inspiration you need to walk through that door.
Read for your rising sign below to see how to unlock your key to abundance.
How Your Rising Sign Unlocks Abundance
ARIES RISING
Your key to unlocking abundance involves creating concrete, long-term, financial plans. With Taurus in the 2nd house, you have a natural gift for money and you know how to build something from the ground up. You create beauty, love, and stability in the world, and your ability to make people feel comfortable will help you financially succeed. Taurus in the 2nd house are collectors as well, and you have a good eye.
With Scorpio in your 8th house, the partnerships and connections you form help you increase your income and earnings. It’s not about overly relying on others financially, but knowing there is support there for you when you need it. Your financial potential overall involves how much you are dedicating yourself to your dreams and doing things that will provide stability and security in your life.
TAURUS RISING
As a Taurus Rising, you have Gemini in the 2nd house, and there are a lot of different avenues in which you can earn an income. You will most likely have multiple streams of income in fact, and your capacity to learn, grow, and expand financially is endless.
You thrive in communication, publication, and collaborative worlds, and your networking abilities will help you succeed in life.
By educating yourself and expanding your mind, you can use this knowledge to help you connect, sell, and raise awareness to others. With Pisces in the 11th house, you have lucky Jupiter helping you make your dreams come true and creating miracles in your life. No one sees things the way you do, use this to your advantage when it comes to your finances and goals here.
GEMINI RISING
For you, you are more emotionally tied to your finances and sense of stability than most. With Cancer in your 2nd house, you have a strong intuition regarding money matters, but you may also feel like things fluctuate a lot for you here. Your key to unlocking your personal abundance comes by finding the things that you hold value in, thinking about your purpose and the legacy you want to leave behind, and owning your nurturing abilities.
You are a natural caregiver, creator, and protector, and can thrive in roles such as these. Cancer in the 2nd house also shows an ability to earn through real estate, antiques, or investments. With Capricorn in the 8th house, your logic will help you execute your plans and goals, and you are always thinking one step ahead. People may underestimate you often, use this to your advantage.
CANCER RISING
As a Cancer Rising, you thrive when you are able to take charge and lead your creative efforts. With Leo in the 2nd house, you are a charismatic soul and you are meant to take center stage in life. Your creativity, confidence, and courage will set you apart from others, and you will financially succeed in roles where you have some type of authority or can express yourself freely.
With Aquarius in the 8th house, you may also find your financial power when it comes to technology or social media. You are a natural influencer and people want to know what you think about things and what your current obsessions are. You are the star of the show, remembering that is your key to unlocking your abundance in this lifetime.
LEO RISING
You have Virgo in the 2nd house, and unlocking your key to abundance involves getting organized, sticking to a routine, and doing things that benefit others or society in some way. You are typically found in roles that involve being of service and you also have a gift with your words. Careers such as writing, speaking, publishing, health roles, and healing treatments all serve you well.
With Gemini in the 11th house as well, you have a gift for networking, communication, building a group or a team, and succeeding in your collaborative efforts. Don’t let your need for perfection take you away from your potential regarding your ability to connect with others and build something inspiring. Your vision, partnerships, selfless attitude, and creativity will help you financially succeed.
VIRGO RISING
As a Virgo Rising, you are a hard worker and have a lot of beauty and wisdom to share with the world. You have Libra in the 2nd house, signifying a creative soul and someone who can earn an income through art, interior design, fashion, or therapeutic and beauty practices.
You have a gift when it comes to creating things appealing to the eye, and you resonate with the more luxurious spheres of life.
Aries in the 8th house signifies a drive to succeed, and you financially move through a lot of transformations in this lifetime that lead you closer to your dreams. Creating a business that you are passionate about or being a part of a legacy that creates something beautiful for the world, helps you financially succeed in life.
LIBRA RISING
Financially, you evolve over time. The key here for you with Scorpio in the 2nd house, is to trust your intuition when it comes to what to invest in and what to spend your time and energy on. Know that with any setback you may encounter financially, you will rise above more abundantly and successfully. You have a unique way of understanding the undercurrents and concept of money, use this to your advantage.
With Leo in the 11th house, you succeed when you are confident, standing out from the crowd, and doing things that feel authentic and natural for you. You are meant to shine and inspire others through your charisma, personality, and strong intuition.
SCORPIO RISING
With a Scorpio Rising, you have Sagittarius in the 2nd, and financial freedom is very important to you in this lifetime. You are working towards building a legacy for yourself through your wisdom, knowledge, and quest for understanding. You inspire others in your own unique way, and this is a placement for many teachers or guides in this world.
Virgo in the 11th house reminds you to get clear on the things you want for yourself and the plans or dedication it will take to get there. Your intelligence and your capacity to see all perspectives and express yourself in a grounded way is what is going to unlock your key to abundance.
SAGITTARIUS RISING
Financially, you have a lot of potential to succeed in this lifetime. With Capricorn in your 2nd house of income, you are business-savvy and have a knack for money. You know what the world needs more of, and you are the one to provide it. Through your work ethic and need to succeed, you are someone who can be found in higher positions within a business or company.
Cancer in the 8th house also shows that you find financial empowerment by dedicating yourself to a cause or career that holds deep importance for you and your heart. The people you meet along the way are also key to recognizing your dreams and financial abundance.
CAPRICORN RISING
As a Capricorn Rising, you have Aquarius in the 2nd house which shows a gift in community, networking, and social media. You are a trendsetter and are ahead of time when it comes to trends, fashion, and ideals. You have a unique vision and ability to succeed in this lifetime through your manifestation potential.
With Scorpio in the 11th house, you can build a team or an organization and lead yourself and others to success. Your acquaintances and friendships throughout life will help you meet the right people and get the right opportunities. You always need to be thinking big when it comes to your finances, and know that you have what it takes to succeed.
AQUARIUS RISING
For you, financial success comes from your imagination and your hope for it all. With Pisces in the 2nd house, you view your financial world through a spiritual and creative lens, and the opportunities for you in this lifetime are vast. You need a lot of freedom within your career and you need to be doing things that allow you to express your creativity.
With Sagittarius in the 11th house of your hopes and dreams, you will succeed when you are stepping out of your comfort zone, traveling, and exploring new things. Your knowledge combined with lucky Jupiter, makes you someone who is more lucky than most when it comes to making your financial dreams come true. Remain positive and know your path to abundance won’t look like everyone else's.
PISCES RISING
You have Aries in the 2nd house, and financially you feel empowered when you are going after your individual dreams and intentions and are in leadership roles. Entrepreneurship inspires you, and you know how to lead a team. Taking initiative when it comes to your financial world is key here, and you need a certain sense of freedom when it comes to your career and working life.
Libra in the 8th house signifies abundance through your love life, marriage, business partnerships, or commitments and people are more willing to lend you a helping hand than most, use this to your advantage. Overall, your key to abundance is taking initiative, creating things never seen before, and using your charming personality to attract the support you need to succeed.
Love is cute and all, but building an empire together? That’s the real flex. Tap into our new series Making Cents to see what financial compatibility really looks like when love and legacy go hand in hand.
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Featured image by Igor Alecsander/Getty Images
Originally published on February 6, 2025