If you've been following this site (or reading our newsletter) for even a couple of months now, you know that we happily and unapologetically talk about sex quite a bit. If we're not breaking down things about the male and female orgasm or exploring sex positions, we're sharing insights we've gotten on oral sex or providing tips on how to have a blended, simultaneous or—our personal favorite—intensified climax. They say that she who learns, teaches. Sexually, that is a motto that we thrive by!
But if there's one thing about sex that couples tell me that they struggle with the most, it's finding the time to basically do what they do. If they've got kids, sometimes they are too exhausted, even for a quickie, by the time they make it to their own bedroom. And while morning sex sounds good in theory, between having mix-matched wake-up schedules, morning breath and, for women, a man's erection sometimes digging in their back in the most awkward kind of way—this kind of sex is not always the most sensual or seductive option to go with. (I hear you!)
Still, it's irrefutable that morning sex (even if it is a quickie) can reduce stress, give you an energy boost, improve your levels of concentration and productivity, burn a few calories and make you feel closer to your partner all throughout the day.
So, if your only real issue with morning sex is it doesn't feel all that sexy, maybe these tips will turn it into something that you're more open to trying (or trying more often)—maybe even tomorrow at sunrise.
Keep Water by the Bed
Did you know that one sign of dehydration is bad breath? If during your waking hours, you can't seem to get the "tartness" from your mouth under control, drinking more agua just might get that under control. Something else that water is able to do is wash away odor-causing bacteria; that's why it's also a good idea to keep a couple of recyclable bottles of it (because surely you're not still drinking out of plastic bottles, right?) by each bed stand. That way, if you don't want to hop out of bed to brush your teeth first, you can still get some of that stank breath handled.
And Some Altoids
Speaking of not-the-best breath, if water isn't enough, you can never go wrong with Altoids (so long as they are the minty and not sour variety). Matter of fact, if you wake up with a headache, rumor on the street is since Altoids are a mint, they might even be able to help you out with that as well. (Welp, there goes the "I've got a headache" excuse, huh?)
Also, Some Organic Baby Wipes
If this is TMI, I apologize in advance. I'm bringing it up because it's relevant to the point. There's a male friend of mine who says that he likes nothing more than going down on his lady when he picks her up from work. I don't mean once they get home; I mean right there in the car. I'll admit that there is something sexy about that, but the realist in me wonders if it's the cleanest thing on the planet to do. When I brought that up, he didn't miss a beat—"Girl, I keep a stash of baby wipes in the glove compartment."
Come to find out, he's not the only one. I read quite a few articles stating that many folks will keep some organic ones by their bedside in case they don't want to wash up before gettin' it on. So, if you want to engage your partner but you're feeling a little self-conscious, apparently baby wipes are a popular go-to solution.
Oh, and Some Lube Too
From what I've researched, a healthy virile man will have anywhere between 3-5 erections throughout the night that will last between 25-35 minutes each. As far as what causes a man to have nocturnal penile tumescence (NPT)—the technical term for "morning wood"—a man being super relaxed, him experiencing a shift in his hormones or him having an erotic dream (or rubbing against your fine self) may be the cause.
All of this can explain why your man may be up and ready to go at the crack of dawn. If you need a little more time to (no pun intended) open up to the idea, another great bed stand addition is some lube. That way, if neither of you have 20 minutes or more to get you "naturally ready", you've still got something that can help you two to comfortably speed up the process.
Get Some Blackout Curtains
Some women have told me that they aren't big fans of morning sex, not because of the sex itself, but because the light that is piercing through their windows makes them a little self-conscious when it comes to their body image. If you can totally relate, one way to workaround that is to install some blackout curtains. I got introduced to them when I went to Alaska for the first time, arrived late at night, it still looked like 5pm and the people there told me that it doesn't get completely dark during May-July. Anyway, they said what helps them to sleep are blackout curtains. I copped some when I came back home and yep, they work.
So, if it's morning, you're in the mood, but you'd still prefer for it to look like it's nighttime, you can get a pair of your own curtains that keep the light out at stores like Walmart or Target.
Turn on a Little White Noise
I typically don't have any trouble falling asleep. But I must admit that since I've been adding some white noise (noise that contains frequencies to block out "outside noise") into my sleep routine, rest has become a next level experience! What I tend to turn on are rainstorms. I adore all things rain; I really do. Although I'm currently not riding the sex train, back when I was, one of my favorite songs was "Making Love in the Rain" (what y'all know about Herb Alpert featuring Janet Jackson and Lisa Keith?!).
If you love the combination of sex and rain too, white noise can make that happen for you, even on a bright and sunny morning. Just invest in a white noise machine or there are white noise channels on YouTube can provide you rain or many other sounds too. (Just put "white noise" or "white noise for sleeping" in the search field on the site.)
Meditate Together First
If you go to your favorite search engine and look for tips on how to have mind-blowing orgasms, at least 70 percent of them are going to encourage you to breathe deeply. It's what helps you to relax your muscles, remove toxins from your body and open up your pelvic floor as well.
That's why meditation is also on this list. Even if all you do is sit up in the bed, face on another while holding hands, close your eyes and breathe in and out for five minutes, it's a great way to mentally, emotionally and spiritually (re)connect, so that morning sex will be that much more easier and intensified.
Kiss Them—Anywhere or Everywhere
Foreplay should never be totally ignored, even if you've only got 15 minutes or so for morning sex. A kiss on the back of the neck, on the chest or…shoot, anywhere can be a very sweet and sexy way to wake your partner up from their slumber. It can definitely be more enticing and arousing than your standard alarm clock.
Don’t Be “Afraid” of a Little Water Action
Even though I provided a few suggestions on how to make morning sex more pleasant without getting out of bed, please don't underestimate the joy, power and pleasure of having sex in the shower! It gets you clean (and dirty, if you know what I mean), boosts your oxytocin levels and, if you're a little on the antsy side about period sex, having it in your bathtub can help to put your mind more at ease. Shower sex really is the ultimate kind of multi-tasking!
If this is the kind of sex that you have yet to master, no worries; I've got a few tips. First, cover up your hair with a shower cap (who has time to dry and style their hair right before heading off to work?!). Second, make sure you've got a shower mat down (so that y'all aren't slippin'-and-sliddin' everywhere). Third, test the water with your hand before hoppin' in (trust me, this tip is a lifesaver!). Four, go with using some shower gel instead of a bar of soap; it's easier to apply and share (did you know that there is edible shower gel? Click here to get some). And finally, keep certain sex positions in mind—stand up while in the doggy style position; wrap your legs around your partner while your back is up against the wall, or sit on your partner while he's sitting on the edge of the tub.
As far as the shower rod goes, I'll just say that you should try that at your own risk. Some are not as sturdy as others.
Get Up Before the Kids Do
I saved this one for last because probably the most challenging thing about morning sex is deciding what you'd like more of—sex or sleep. But if the vote is sex and you've got kids in your house, the best way to get it in while being totally uninterrupted is if you get up before they do. This means that you need to set your alarm clock to wake you up earlier than your children arise not you (because usually they will beat you to the punch).
Yeah, that might mean waking up before sunrise sometimes, but if it means that you can get an orgasm or two by doing that, at least 1-3 times a month, it makes losing a little sleep worth it. Doesn't it?
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
10 Sex Resolutions Every Married Couple Should Make
Blended Orgasms Need To Be The Next To-Do On Your Sexual Hit List
If You're In A Committed Relationship, Avoid These Sex Mistakes At All Costs
Featured image by Getty Images.
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While speaking to xoNecole, Eva shares that she’s a lot like the beloved 1994 character in many ways. “Lyric is so me. She's the odd flower. A flower nonetheless, but definitely not a peony,” she tells us.
“She's not the average flower you see presented, and so she reminds me of myself. I'm a sunflower, beautiful, but different. And what I loved about her character then, and even more so now, is that she was very sure of herself.
"Sure of what she wanted in life and okay to sacrifice her moments right now, to get what she knew she deserved later. And that is me. I'm not an instant gratification kind of a person. I am a long game. I'm not a sprinter, I'm a marathon.
America first fell in love with Eva when she graced our screens on cycle 3 of America’s Next Top Model in 2004, which she emerged as the winner. Since then, she's ventured into different avenues, from acting on various TV series like House of Payne to starring on Real Housewives of Atlanta.
Je-Caryous Johnson Entertainment
Eva praises her castmates and the play’s producer, Je’Caryous for her positive experience. “You know what? Je’Caryous fuels my audacity car daily, ‘cause I consider myself an extremely audacious woman, and I believe in what I know, even if no one else knows it, because God gave it to me. So I know what I know. That is who Je’Caryous is.”
But the mom of three isn’t the only one in the family who enjoys acting. Eva reveals her daughter Marley has also caught the acting bug.
“It is the most adorable thing you can ever see. She’s got a part in her school play. She's in her chorus, and she loves it,” she says. “I don't know if she loves it, because it's like, mommy does it, so maybe I should do it, but there is something about her.”
Overall, Eva hopes that her contribution to the role and the play as a whole serves as motivation for others to reach for the stars.
“I want them to walk out with hope. I want them to re-vision their dreams. Whatever they were. Whatever they are. To re-see them and then have that thing inside of them say, ‘You know what? I'm going to do that. Whatever dream you put on the back burner, go pick it up.
"Whatever dream you've accomplished, make a new dream, but continue to reach for the stars. Continue to reach for what is beyond what people say we can do, especially as [a] Black collective but especially as Black women. When it comes to us and who we are and what we accept and what we're worth, it's not about having seen it before. It's about knowing that I deserve it.”
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
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