You know it and I know it. There is a ton of information, both online and off, about sex. That's why I do my best to try and conduct some of my own unofficial polls to get insight that isn't typically discussed. Recently I asked some people I know, "What can make sex a not-so-great experience, even if the sex itself is good?" It might seem like seem like an odd question initially, but when you see what most people said, I think it'll make more sense to you. What they said was "predictability".
One man said to me, "The sex that I have with my partner is amazing, except for the fact that she's not very creative. When I recommend things that are a little 'off the cuff' or 'outside of the box', she usually politely declines because she claims that knowing what to expect is what relaxes her enough to have the kind of sex that we do."
Hmph. When you really stop to think about that, to a certain extent, that makes sense. So, how can two people find a happy medium when one wants to try new things and the other—well, not so much? I say ease into newness slowly.
Take this beautiful season that we're currently in, for example. If you are the actual partner who wants to switch things up in the bedroom, how about incorporating some things that scream "fall's here!", are uber romantic, but can still spice things up a bit at the same time. If you're down to try—and you think you can convince your partner to be down as well—I've got a few fall-themed tricks up my sleeve.
1. Make Out in a Maze, While Apple Picking or in Some Leaves—First
Maybe it's because autumn is absolutely my favorite season that I also find it to be the most romantic. It's definitely the time of year when you and yours can walk through a corn maze together, do some apple picking, attend a harvest festival or simply rake up a pile of leaves in your front yard. Then, while you're at it, like they used to say in the 80s—make out.
Sometimes, the best sex is all about building anticipation before the act. Going out on a date together and doing a lot of hand holding and kissing while you're all caught up in the autumn atmosphere is a great "appetizer" before the main course (if you know what I mean).
2. Get Some Velvet Bedding
If you don't own any velvet bedding, do yourself (and your sex life) a favor and cop some this year. Not only is it super soft and luxurious, it's an opulent way to keep warm this fall and winter season. Just think about how plush and pampering this type of material is; how sensual you and yours will feel as you're rolling all around in it.
If a part of you is hesitant about making this type of purchase because you think that velvet fabric leans on the side of being high-maintenance, it's actually not. For the most part, you can treat it just like you would any of your other sheets or bedding; just make sure to turn everything inside out so that the part that you lay on doesn't attract a lot of lint (you can read more about all of this here).
3. Light Some Fall-Scented Soy Candles
Apple-Cinnamon. Vanilla. Amber. Cranberry. Pumpkin. Pine. Butterscotch. Patchouli. Caramel. Fig. These are just some of the signature scents of fall; something that most of them have in common is they are aphrodisiacs too. Since it's been scientifically-proven that the better our sense of smell is, the greater our sexual experiences tend to be, why wouldn't you want to fill your sexual space with smells that will only heighten your sensuality?
Plus, the glow of candles flickering in a dark room is really sexy. And, if you go with soy ones, they last longer and burn cleaner. A great "fall sex addition" all the way around, if you ask me.
4. Turn on Some “Fall Sounding” ASMR
I don't care what y'all's president thinks, climate change is real and I'm proud of all of the young people who've been protesting around the world about it. So, what does this even remotely have to do with what we've been talking about? Well, even though it's officially fall, as I'm sitting here and typing this, it's in the high 80s with plenty of sunshine in Nashville; not even close to being classic autumn weather—cool, cloudy, rainy with harsh winds.
Thanks to ASMR (Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response), via sound machines and even YouTube, you don't need to wait for a perfect fall day in order to set the mood. To make your room extra dark, hang up some blackout curtains. Then play sounds of rain or wind. On the YouTube tip, all you need to do is go the search field and put "rain sounds" or "wind sounds" and you're all set.
5. Play the “Fall Game” with Each Other
Sex isn't all about physically connecting. It's about emotionally connecting too. One way to feel emotionally close to your partner is to play a sentimental "fall game". Share some memories of the first time you fell for each other's looks or fell for each other's personality orfell in love overall. Based on what each of you recall and the circumstances surrounding everything, it can bring a lot of laughs as well as sentimentality into the atmosphere.
6. Do a Little of Your Own Version of “Trick-or-Treat”
Have you ever checked out the true origin of Halloween? It's creepier than a lot of people realize. But if you want to lighten up the mood a bit, put your own twist on trick-or-treat indoors this year. You and your man can dress up in costumes (or roleplay) or you can simply get candies that have a bit of a sexy theme to them. Some that I saw on Etsy include Sex on the Beach fudge and real-sized chocolate penises. You could make some cookies with a Kama Sutra rolling pin (that literally has sexual positions on it) or a sex position cookie cutter. Or how about some chocolate that's infused with the aphrodisiac damiana? Talk about candy (or cookies) that's sweet to the lips…on a few levels.
7. Dip Various Body Parts in Apple Cider or Cocoa
Our inner thighs. Our fingers. Our palms. Behind our knees. His nipples. His inner wrists. His navel. The small of his back. These are some of the erogenous zones that don't get talked about—or explored—as much as they should on women and men. The way I see it, there's no time like the present. So, as you're in the process of getting a little foreplay action going on, bring in some signature fall drinks—warm apple cider and cocoa—to pour onto these parts of the body, so that you both can lick them off. It's something that everyone involved will richly enjoy. I'll bet good money on that.
8. Give Your Man a Ginger Oil Massage
I'll give you two dollars if you can tell me what "figging" is without looking it up first. I'll tell you what, it was definitely my something new for the day when I happened upon it on the 'net. Figging is what it's called when you put a piece of fresh raw and peeled ginger either into your vagina or anus or your partner's anus in order to create a tingling sensation.
Please hear me when I say this—I am an avid ginger user, so when I think of a raw form of it going into any orifice of my body, it's a hard pass (ginger is pretty strong). But what I do recommend is giving your man a nice ginger oil massage.
Ginger is in season right now; it's a natural way to increase blood circulation to his lower region and heighten the sensitivity of his erogenous zones.
If a ginger oil massage is something you've never tried before, there's a great recipe for the oil here. (By the way, it's also a great oil for sore muscles after a workout too.)
9. Use Cinnamon Oil on Each Other’s Genitalia
Me? I'm always gonna be a cinnamon oil fan! It's a true fall season scent, it tastes good and the warming sensation that it provides is perfect for fellatio and cunnilingus. All you need to do is put a little bit of it into your mouth and, well, go to town!
A word of caution—if one or both of you have sensitive skin, put a dab on the back of each other's hand, just to make sure it's not too strong for either one of you. As far as the kind of oil you should try, the one that I recommend, across the board, is Sun Essentials Oils. No need to warm it up; cinnamon is naturally hot, sensation-wise, all on its own. It'll quickly become a fan favorite.
10. Cuddle Before. Cuddle After.
Maybe it's because it's colder outside than during the spring or summer season, but when I think of having sex in the fall, cuddling definitely comes to mind. Whether it's before or after sex, after checking out Health's "5 Sex Positions to Heat Up Chilly Fall Nights", turn on (or up) some of your favorite slow jams and—snuggle face-to-face, let him lay on top of you while you wrap your legs around him, do some extra tight and long spooning, or hold hands while one of your heads is on the other's stomach.
Cuddling is a wonderfully sweet and sentimental way to emotionally connect, feel safe and relax yourself after all of the mind-blowing sex you're about to have. It's one of the best things, I think, about "fall sex". Here's to three months full of PLENTY of it, sis.
Want more stories like this? Sign up for our newsletter here and check out the related reads below:
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The show is exactly what you’d expect when you put a media pro and a sports legend together—a mix of real talk, unfiltered moments, and guest interviews that feel like family kickbacks. As the duo wraps up their first season, Rocsi sat down with xoNecole to talk about teaming up with Deion, the wildest moments on set, and why streaming platforms like Tubi are shaking up the talk show world.
Scoring the Gig & Clicking Instantly with Deion
Photo by Paras Griffin/Getty Images for Essence
Deion Sanders had been dreaming of hosting a talk show, and when Tubi came calling, it was only right he made it happen. But before he found the perfect co-host, he held auditions with different women for the spot.
Lucky for us, Rocsi threw her hat in the ring, and the connection was instant. “You just can’t buy chemistry like we have,” she tells us. “We are legit like big brother, little sister—fighting, cracking jokes, telling each other off. When you watch the show, it’s like watching family.”
Mixing News, Culture & Sports—Minus the Snooze
With We Got Time Today, Rocsi and Deion cover everything from the latest headlines to celebrity tea and, of course, sports. But instead of stiff, rehearsed segments, the show keeps it loose and unpredictable.
“We’re not breaking the mold—it’s not rocket science,” Rocsi jokes. “We just bring our own flair, our authenticity, and our personalities to it. Deion has firsthand experience in sports, so when we talk about athletes, he brings a different perspective.”
And the best part? Unlike traditional talk shows that rush through quick interviews, We Got Time Today actually takes its time. “A lot of shows might give you one or two segments with a guest,” Rocsi says. “With us, we actually sit down and have real-life conversations.”
Her Top Guests (So Far!)
From music icons to relationship experts, the show has already had some unforgettable guests—but a few stand out for Rocsi.
“Ice Cube was our first guest, and he’s just legendary,” she says. “Kirk Franklin had us cracking up when he broke into a full choir freestyle for our Christmas special. And anytime we get Dr. Bryant on to put Deion in the hot seat? That’s my favorite!”
And of course, there’s Nick Cannon. “Nick was amazing,” she adds. “You already know he’s going to bring the energy and say something wild.”
Tag-Team Hosting with Deion: The Inside Scoop
While Deion Sanders is best known for his football greatness, Rocsi says he’s also one of the funniest people she’s ever worked with.
“He’s goofy—like, really goofy,” she laughs. “A lot of people didn’t know that side of him, but now they do. He can crack a joke, and if you’re too sensitive, good luck, because he will go in. But the best part? I throw it right back at him! Sometimes we just look at each other like, ‘Okay, that was a good one.’”
But beyond the laughs, she admires his insane work ethic. “Watching him juggle everything he does is just super admirable,” she says.
How "We Got Time Today" Brings That "106 & Park" Energy
Photo by David Livingston/Getty Images
For those wondering if We Got Time Today feels like 106 & Park 2.0, Rocsi says it’s a whole different vibe.
“The only comparison I’d make is that it’s a destination for the culture,” she explains. “It’s a platform where our people can come, feel safe, and have real conversations. But other than that, this is Deion’s world—we’re just having fun in it.”
The Talk Show Shake-Up: Why This Show Hits Different
Unlike traditional networks, We Got Time Today lives exclusively on Tubi, proving that streaming platforms are changing how we watch talk shows.
“Tubi is giving more people opportunities and making content more accessible,” Rocsi says. “Deion is a huge Tubi fan—he literally loves Black cinema—so it just made sense for him. And honestly? He’s got me watching it too!”
Real Ones Only: Women Holding Each Other Down
Rocsi credits her best friend, Chantelle, for always keeping her grounded. “She kept pouring into me, reminding me of who I am,” she shares. Even Deion Sanders makes sure to give her flowers, often calling her “the hostess with the most.”
In the industry, she’s built lasting bonds with women like Julissa Bermundez, Angie Martinez, and Angela Yee. “Julissa and I still kick it—her house is basically Sephora, so I just shop there,” she jokes. She also cherishes her friendships with Melyssa Ford and Robin Roberts, who have offered unwavering support. “Robin has always been there for me,” Rocsi says, reflecting on the wisdom she’s gained from the legendary journalist.
With the show’s first season wrapping up, Rocsi is grateful for the experience and excited for what’s next. “We’re having a good time, and the audience can feel that,” she says.
And if you haven’t tuned in yet? Well, Rocsi and Deion got time—so you might as well make some too.
Catch We Got Time Today now streaming on Tubi!
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I live in Atlanta and I have discovered a variety of free fitness activities that can help you burn calories, get in touch with your inner child, and maybe even make a new friend.
These activities range from roller-skating to Pilates to dancing. Check out a few of these places below:
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Thompson Hotel
Located in Atlanta’s posh Buckhead district, Thompson hotel offers complimentary yoga classes on Saturday and free Pilates classes on Sundays. Both classes are on the hotel’s rooftop, so you’ll get a good sweat while taking in the gorgeous views.
Atlanta Beltline
The Atlanta Beltline is a 22-mile path throughout the city that traverses trails, parks, and many neighborhoods. It recently announced its line-up of free fitness classes in different locations on the beltline. These classes encompass a diverse range of activities like tennis, roller-skating, Zumba, HIIT, and many more.
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Atlantic Station
Atlantic Station is also offering free fitness activities through its Wellness Wednesday program. Every Wednesday, you can explore various fitness class like dance, self-defense, bootcamp and more.
The Battery
The Battery, home of The Atlanta Braves stadium offers free yoga on Mondays as part of its Wellness Series.
Atlanta isn’t the only city that offers a range of free fitness classes. Make sure to check out your city’s social media pages or search TikTok or Google, and type in “free fitness classes in insert city.” Alternatively, join different Facebook groups that highlight events throughout the city.
Check these out and have fun.
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