Although I'm typically not a fan of phrases like "tear it up" or "beat it down" in references to sex, let's be real—when sex is good and longer than a couple of minutes, our vagina really does take a bit of a beating (in the best way possible, of course), doesn't it? All of that penetration, all of that friction, all of that moving around—especially if you and yours decide to go a few rounds—can totally wear "her" out. And, for most of us, instead of checking in to make sure that ole' girl is alright, we might do the first sexual-aftercare thing that's on this list that I'm about to share but then…we'll just roll over and…fall asleep.
Our vagina is good to us. That's why, we've got to be more intentional about being good to it in return (check out "What Your Vagina Wishes You Would Do More Often"). One way to do that is to offer up a little bit of TLC following sexual activity. These eight tips will totally show you how.
Pee After Sex
Even if you don't engage in anal sex, the reality is your rectum and your vagina are pretty darn close together and yes, bacteria from your backside can easily flow into your "frontside". Something that you can do to prevent that, umm, transference from turning into an all-out urinary tract infection (UTI) is to make sure that you pee right after you have sex; that way, your urine can wash that bacteria out. And what if you don't have to go at the moment? Things like turning on your faucet, washing your hands in cold water and—get this—getting a whiff of peppermint essential oil are all things that can trigger your bladder to cooperate with you.
Wash Your Hands After Sex
Hopefully, if you're gonna urinate right after sex, you're going to follow that up with washing your hands (…right?). But even if you decide not to pee, still make a point and practice to wash your hands anyway. If you want to read more about how sex and bacteria are so closely connected, there is a very detailed scientific definition here. For those who just want the Cliff's Notes, chances are, there was also some bacteria on your hands before you even started having sex and then, when the "juices got to flowing", there's an abundance more. If you don't want to spread bacteria even further, especially to your vaginal region, washing your hands can stop it in its tracks. Regular soap is fine. Just make sure that you lather up well, that you get in between your fingers, and that you do this for no less than 20-30 seconds. If you follow these tips, you should be all good.
Take a Bath After Sex
If the sex was so good that it totally wore you and your vagina out (kudos, if so, sis), then you might need to take a bit of a soak in the bathtub.
Warm water has a way of soothing irritated tissue and, if you add a few drops of virgin olive oil into the mix, not only will it deeply hydrate your vaginal skin but the antioxidants in the oil will help to heal your vulva and vagina too.
Just make sure that you bathe with olive oil only. The last thing that your vagina needs right after sex is bubble bath products or heavy perfumes. This brings me to my next point.
Leave Scented Stuff Alone After Sex
Over here, in xoNecole world, we're big fans of taking bathing experiences to the next level. But since penetration oftentimes leaves tiny tears around our vagina and vulva, that means our genital region is more vulnerable than usual. That means strong perfumes, body washes and body sprays can upset the pH balance of our vagina which can result in burning or even trigger a yeast infection. If you don't feel right with simply allowing good old-fashioned H2O to cleanse your vagina, something that I use (and really like) is Pangea Wash. Or, if you're a DIY kinda gal, I wrote an article on vaginal washes that you can make yourself. You can check it out here.
Eat Some Probiotics After Sex
I once heard a woman talk about describing sex to her child as being an amusement park and toxic waste dump rolled into one. When you really stop to think about it, that's a pretty spot-on explanation. While there is probably no better—and by "better", I mean more fun—way to spread bacteria around than participating in coitus, it's still important to "feed your vagina" with foods that will replenish it with good bacteria so that things like yeast infections won't occur. One way to do that is to eat foods that are high in probiotics. While yogurt traditionally leads the list, if you're curious about what some other foods are, check out our article, "The Foods Your Vagina's Been Craving".
Drink Water and/or Pure Cranberry Juice After Sex
Did you know that sex can dehydrate your va-jay-jay? It might sound crazy but if you ever notice that, once you're done with round one and about to go into round two that your vagina isn't as wet as before, a part of that could be due to the fluids your body lost from the first session. One way to replenish your system is to drink a couple of glasses of water. Oh, and if you are UTI-prone, substitute one of those glasses for pure cranberry juice. Its acidic level has a way of knocking out any bacteria that may try to irritate you and your vagina up the pike.
Clean Your Sex Toys After Sex
While a lot of the bacteria that comes from our bodies will die on a sex toy once the bacteria dries up, there are things like Gardnerella vaginalis (the bacteria that causes bacterial vaginosis) that can linger on one for up to 48 hours (yuck).
That's why it is imperative that you thoroughly wash your sex toys after using them. For tips on how to do that effectively, feel free to check out Health's "The Essential Guide to Cleaning Your Sex Toys (Yes, There's a Right Way to Do It!)". Your vagina will thank you later.
Sleep Naked After Sex
While I know some people who are quick to put some sort of clothes on after gettin' it in, it really is best to stay naked instead. From a health and wellness perspective, going commando while you sleep does everything from reduce your stress levels and give your skin a chance to breathe to help you to sleep faster (and better) and even keep your blood sugar levels balanced. Since we're specifically talking about vaginal health today, let me share why your vagina would be thrilled if you didn't cover it up either. All of us naturally produce yeast in our vaginal area. Well, when we're wearing confining items, that can cause yeast—yeast that is already in a warm, wet and dark environment—to multiply which can also cause a yeast infection. If you'd still prefer to have something on at night, at least make sure it's not nylon panties, a thong or anything that's tight (like lingerie). Organic cotton would be your best bet. But again, naked is really what would make your vagina extra happy; especially right after you have sex.
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It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
A Cosmic Guide To Love In 2025: What The Stars Have In Store For Your Heart
The most important lesson we are learning about love in 2025 is change. Many major Astrological transits are happening this year, and these will last for years to come. As we walk through this new year, we are being asked to let go of the things we can’t control, and give more grace to the things we can. This is a year of a new perspective on love, finding gratitude in the little things, and watching as the universe supports us and the dreams we build for ourselves here.
At the beginning of the year, we are being shown how significant 2025 will be for love. From March 1, 2025, until April 12, 2025, Venus, the planet of love and relationships, will be retrograde. Venus goes retrograde approximately every 18 months and hasn’t been retrograde since the Summer of 2023. With love taking a step back at the beginning of the year, we move through a time of understanding the emotional world better and letting go of trying to control outcomes here.
What Does 2025 Have in Store for Love?
It’s time to refocus your relationship priorities overall, and with this retrograde happening in both Aries and Pisces, Aries being the first sign of the zodiac and Pisces being the last; there is a chapter we are closing and a new one we are walking into.
Another significant factor that is influencing relationships this year, is Jupiter’s entry into Cancer. Jupiter brings blessings, abundance, luck, and expansion, and in water sign Cancer, brings these gifts to your emotions. Cancer rules emotional safety, foundations, close loved ones, family, support, and emotional well-being, and with Jupiter in this sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, we experience blessings in stability within love. This is a good year for building stronger foundations in love, aligning with those who are loyal and supportive, knowing what you need emotionally, and being a lot clearer on it.
Letting Go of the Past: The Astrological Theme of 2025
Overall, the guideline for the year when it comes to love is to focus on the bigger picture and let things work themselves out without forcing them to. Magic will come in for you this year when you can assess your needs and wants, let go of illusions or smoke and mirrors, and focus on the things you want for yourself rather than what you don’t. Your focus and beliefs on love are the priority right now, and things will be coming full circle for the better.
Read below to see your personal 2025 love forecast. Read for your sun, moon, and rising signs.
What Does Your Zodiac Sign Say About Your 2025 Love Life?
ARIES
2025 is one of the more significant years for you, Aries. A lot of the major transits are happening in your sign, which includes Venus retrograde in Aries at the beginning of the year, Neptune in Aries from March 2025 until 2039, and Saturn in Aries from May 2025 until 2028. Not to mention, Chiron, the wounded healer is currently in your sign until 2027.
What this means for you when it comes to love, is that you have learned a lot about where you want to be here, and it’s the year to implement more of these tools and knowledge of the heart.
This year for love is about honoring your integrity and what you need personally to thrive in life and creating that space to let it in. You need someone who will be there for you through whatever you are experiencing in life and not someone who adds to these challenges. This year is a time of rising above, and choosing better for yourself.
TAURUS
2025 for you when it comes to love, is all about perspective and taking better care of your heart, Taurus. Uranus, the planet of change, rebellion, progress, and upheaval, has been in your sign since 2019, and this year you get a break from all of the surprises. From Jul. 7, 2025, until Nov. 7, 2025, Uranus leaves your sign and enters Gemini, giving your mind and your heart some time to breathe.
This year you are being given the opportunity to see things for what they are, rather than what you fear them to be. You are able to see your relationship dynamics clearer, allowing you to feel more confident in what you are building and creating for yourself in this area of your life. What you are working on this year is letting go of overthinking, and allowing things to play out the way they are meant to in love.
GEMINI
This year you are feeling in balance when it comes to love, Gemini. Relationships are important to you in life overall, as you are a relationship-oriented sign, but it can be difficult at times to keep the balance and perspective here. This year, with lucky Jupiter in your sign until June, you have the opportunity to be blessed with some fortunate circumstances personally and within romance.
You are feeling yourself this year, and this is attracting you success and new opportunities within love.
Uranus will also be in your sign this year from Jul. 7 until Nov. 7, and some surprises are in store for you. Pay attention to what happens in your love life during this period, as similar themes will be coming back around for you when Uranus officially enters its Gemini transit from 2026 - 2032. Overall, this year is about balancing what’s coming and going in love, and finding your peace within your inner confidence for it all.
CANCER
2025 for you, Cancer, is about stability in love. You are growing emotionally from the ground up, and are feeling a sense of support, confidence, romance, and receptivity in your love life this year. You are one of the lucky signs of 2025, and this is due to Jupiter, the planet of blessings, entering your sign from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026. While Jupiter is in your sign, your life expands and you are able to see the gifts of your world that may have been harder to come by previously.
This is a year of spending more time with your loved ones and feeling more heard and supported emotionally. Safety and security are especially important to you this year, and you are only entertaining the people who feel that way about you and provide that. Many Cancers will be expanding their families this year or developing a long-term relationship, and overall this is a year of feeling stronger when it comes to love.
LEO
When it comes to love this year for you, Leo, it’s about trusting your intuition and listening more to what your heart is telling you. There are not many major transits happening in Leo in 2025, which means there is a lot of room to grow, but you may be feeling a lack of support or encouragement to do so. A lot of Leos are taking a step back to look at where they are currently in love, and yearning for some change and a new direction here.
Neptune will be in your 9th house of adventure for most of this year, and you are being asked to get inspired and do things differently, but don’t take unnecessary risks in love that may not serve you in the long run.
It can be easy to get lost in the fantasy of love rather than the actual reality you’ll live in here, and taking more time to understand yourself, your relationships, and the dynamics in your love life will be necessary. Overall, your heart is healing this year and you are moving away from the past and creating your new future.
VIRGO
This year when it comes to love, you are going through changes that are aligning you closer to your goals and dreams here, Virgo. You are focused on making things work that you want to see bloom, and also letting go of putting effort into people that aren’t reciprocating the same energy. With the North Node entering your sister sign Pisces and the South Node moving into your sign from Jan. 11, 2025, until Jul. 26, 2026, you are doing a lot of letting go over the next year.
However, with the North Node being in your 7th house of love, new doors and gifts are also opening up for you and your partnerships. The more you can let go of perfection and overworking your mind and your heart, the more blessings you will experience when it comes to love this year. In 2025, you also have two Eclipses in your sign, and there are overall a lot of changes Virgos are moving through this year. Your main guidance for love is to stand by the things that serve your heart and release yourself from what burdens it.
LIBRA
Love is coming to fruition for you this year, Libra. You have been through a lot in your personal life these past few years, and walking into 2025, you are ready for some positive change. This is a year of feeling in balance with your personal goals and dreams, and what you are experiencing romantically and financially as well. Relationship dynamics are serving you and your sense of abundance, and many gifts are coming your way in love this year.
With Neptune, Chiron, and Saturn all being in your 7th house of love, your love life and partnerships are the main focus for you in 2025.
You are moving through changes, overcoming previous obstacles, and bringing back the dreamy energy here. With Chiron in the 7th, you are still doing some healing of the heart, but with Neptune now entering, it all feels a little more romantic and spiritual at the same time. This year is about believing in the impossible in love, taking care of yourself, and allowing someone else to take care of you as well.
SCORPIO
This year is all about opportunity when it comes to love, Scorpio. You have your eyes on the prize and are focused on what you want for yourself, but also how you want to show up for love as well. You have goals and intentions that you are setting for your love life this year, and a lot of them reflect the passion and strength you are feeling as you enter the year. Vesta is in your sign this year until September, and you have a spark within you that is a magnet for success and love. You are walking forward confidently and are feeling inspired, sexy, and magical this year.
This is a very sensual and powerful year for you, and this energy is being reflected in the relationship experiences you are having. Jupiter also enters your 9th house of adventure halfway through the year, and there is something special about the trips you are taking and the risks you are taking in love. Overall, this is a year of doing things your way and attracting love to you through your inner confidence and charisma.
SAGITTARIUS
This is a beautiful year of feeling balanced and abundant in love, Sagittarius. There is a lot of energy coming in and you are giving a lot of love as well. This sense of synergy you are feeling within your love life this year has a lot to do with Juno, the asteroid of soulmates, in your sign from Feb. 19 - Apr. 15. Your people are coming in and you have options this year, Sag.
This is a year of feeling loved for the inspiring, outgoing, and unique being you are, and meeting more people who match your energy.
Saturn also enters your 5th house of romance this year, and you are learning a lot through your experiences with others. You are learning how to be more confident in who you are and what you want for yourself and also recognizing the importance of making more time for fun and playful experiences. This is the year to see love as a more light-hearted experience and to not take yourself too seriously.
CAPRICORN
You are letting things come to you when it comes to love this year, Capricorn. You are feeling beautiful, capable, and worthy, and you are receiving the gifts that come from this sense of confidence and patience. This past year, you were setting a lot of new goals for yourself and your relationships, and in 2025, you are experiencing the results of these efforts.
Jupiter moves into your sister sign Cancer from June 9, 2025, until June 30, 2026, and enters your 7th house of love, partnerships, romance, marriage, and harmony. Your love life and experience of it all are expanding this year, and benevolent Jupiter is sending blessings to this area of your life. This is a year of things coming full circle for you in love, and you feel less confused about it all and more sure of yourself and what is becoming for you here.
AQUARIUS
Love is a highlight for you this year, Aquarius. You are coming together with another, and many Aquarius’ will be forming new relationships or growing within a strong relationship. You are experiencing the fruition of your dreams in love, and are also able to heal and let go of past emotional experiences that have been overwhelming for you in the past.
The North Node enters your 12th house of closure this year, and you are motivated towards change, cleaning house, and releasing the cobwebs of the past.
You are walking into new emotional experiences with less baggage and self-doubt, and are experiencing a fresh start in love. This is a year of asking for what you need emotionally and receiving it. Love is coming in for you in harmonious and magical ways, and you are rewriting your story in love in 2025.
PISCES
You are moving through a lot of changes when it comes to love in 2025, Pisces. This is a year of closure, healing, and giving yourself a fresh start, and the way you enter the year will be a lot different than the way you end it. The North Node of Destiny enters your sign this year, and the South Node of Karma enters your 7th house of love. So, a lot of your focus this year is on your personal goals and path, and there may be some neglect or lack of focus on your relationships.
This can create some discord with those close to you, and your guidance for this year is to try to balance the personal successes and wins you are experiencing, with the love changes that also need your attention right now. Know that what leaves your life this year is being replaced by something better, and also know that your healing doesn’t need to have a timeline and you can take as much time as you need to grow. Overall, you are turning a new page in love in 2025.
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I don’t know if it’s because of the milestone birthday that transpired in my life this past June or what, but the fact that we’re about to be 25 freakin’ years into 2000 is damn near blowing my mind. Y’all, when Alice Walker once said, “Time moves slowly but passes quickly,” she ain’t neva lied.
And since we are literally just a few weeks away from a brand spanking new calendar year, I figured that now would be a good a time as any to share some of the popular skin-related trends that you can get in on before everybody and their grandmama does.
So, as you’re out doing your semi-last-minute holiday shopping, keep a browser open on your phone with this article in it. A few of these things could be great stocking stuffers for others — and definitely some ways to pamper your own skin before the new year officially begins.
2025 Skincare Trends
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1. Satin Skin
Another word for satin skin is demi-matte. Why? Because it’s a nice “marriage” of having dewy skin without excess shine. Although this trend is technically a type of make-up technique, I thought it was important to lead with it for two reasons: one, if you are someone who likes to wear cosmetics on a regular basis, it can help you to achieve a pretty natural look and two, there’s no way that satin skin can happen without applying a rich moisturizer as your base — and since well-moisturized skin makes any skin type look amazing, well…there ya go. (By the way, it appears that a lot of us Black folks like Elf’s Soft Glam Satin Foundation in order to achieve satin skin; a video here can show you why.)
2. LED Light Therapy Masks
Whether you’re looking to speed up the healing process of pimples, reduce the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles, treat hyperpigmentation, soothe the symptoms that are associated with eczema, or even address excessive hair shedding (check out “We Shed More Hair During The Fall. Here's What To Do About It.”), LED light therapy can help you out. The way that it works is that different colors come with different wavelengths that can penetrate your skin (and scalp) and improve it (with consistent treatment).
For instance, while red light therapy helps to reduce inflammation, blue light therapy helps to fight bacteria. The easiest (and fastest) way to get these benefits as far as your face is concerned is to invest in an LED light therapy mask. If you’d like to read some reviews on some popular ones, Glamour has you covered right here.
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3. Focusing on the Neck
IT DOESN’T MATTER HOW YOUNG YOUR FACE LOOKS IF YOUR NECK LOOKS OLD AS HELL. I’m yelling it because it seems like this is a fact of life that so many people continue to ignore. SMDH. I can’t tell you how many celebrities I see online, pretty much on a daily basis, who look great from the chin up — oh, but their neck immediately gives their age away (if it doesn’t cause them to look older).
And although genetics do indeed play somewhat of a role, the reality is that if folks did things like exfoliate their neck on a weekly basis, hydrate it with a moisturizer that contains ceramides (check out “So, What Does Menopausal Skincare Consist Of Exactly?”) and got some additional vitamin A into their system (it helps to stimulate the production of collagen and elastin, so that skin has more flexibility and youth), it would cease to be as much of an issue. So yes, I’m thrilled that neck care is a peak skincare trend for 2025.
4. Ectoin
Something that you are definitely going to hear about more and more in the new year is an amino acid derivative known as ectoin. What’s dope about it is ecotin is a natural compound that has the ability to protect your skin from dehydration, increase your skin’s elasticity, and improve its overall texture too; it does this by keeping your skin’s layers hydrated while protecting them from environmental damage. For a list of some skincare products that have ecotin in them, check out Harper's BAZAAR’s article on the topichere.
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5. Microbiome-Infuse Skincare
It’s kind of wild, just how much the word “microbiome” has come into my space lately. For instance, I recently penned, “What Is Your Vaginal Microbiome? How Does It Affect Your Overall Health?” for the platform. Anyway, as one of my friends says, the “longer story less long” is microbiome is a collection of things like bacteria, viruses, and fungi that are naturally in and on our body. When it comes to your skin, specifically, there are more companies that are creating things that are touted as “microbiome-infused products.” What does that actually mean?
Basically, they are items that will help to keep the good bacteria in and on you in check, so that the bad doesn’t overtake it. What that means is these products will contain probiotics, prebiotics, and live cultures that will work to balance out your skin’s pH and flora. You can check out some of these products by going to your favorite search engine and putting “microbiome” or “probiotic” lotion or serum in the search field.
6. Tinted Moisturizer
Back before I figured out a skincare regimen that would get my skin to the close-to-flawless state that it is in now (hallelujah!), I used tinted moisturizer. To this day, I’m a fan because it’s a way to provide natural coverage to your skin, so you don’t have to look like you have a ton of makeup on. Not only that, but tinted moisturizer deeply hydrates, can smooth out the texture of your skin, and it’s versatile enough that you can use it all year round. So, are there any downsides? Eh.
I guess the main thing to remember is it’s not designed to provide full coverage (if that’s what you are after). Oh, and many of them don’t contain as much SPF protection as they probably should, so you may want to apply a thin coat of (facial) sunscreen before using it. The Cut has a list of tinted moisturizers for our (Black) skin here.
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7. Exosomes
If one of your biggest priorities in the new year is to repair your skin, you might want to speak with a dermatologist about exosomes. Probably the best way to explain them is they are tiny particles that are used to repair skin tissues. Typically, they are applied following a microneedling or laser treatment in order to reduce inflammation, speed up the healing process, and also to give your skin a significant boost of collagen and elastin.
While we’re here, you may also want to speak with a dermatologist about whether there are exosome serums that may be good for your skin even without these types of treatments.
8. Natural Lashes
Listen y’all, “to each their own” has never rang more true than when it comes to eyelashes. That said, though, I doubt any of you would be shocked that I am BEYOND THRILLED that these extremely thick-and-long-how-do-you-even-see-anything eyelashes are starting to take a backseat. In 2025, natural lashes will be getting more attention, along with tips on how to get the most out of the ones that you were actually born with. If you’d like to get a head start, check out “Bat An Eye: 10 Ways To Naturally Grow Your Lashes.”
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9. Overnight Masks
Although it might seem kind of drastic to put a product on your skin or in your hair overnight — hey, don’t knock it until you have tried it. Take batana oil, for example (check out “Batana Oil Is What Your Skin & Hair Have Been Needing Since...Yesterday”). If you Google it, a lot of articles will say that you should only leave it in your hair for a few minutes before rinsing it out. Chile, please. I happily bathe my skin and hair in that stuff a few times a week and leave it there — and I’ve been flourishing since. Same goes for overnight face masks.
Although it might seem a bit excessive to have pseudo-heavy products on your face and neck (and, more specifically, your pores) for hours on end, overnight masks are made up of ingredients that are specifically designed to penetrate your skin’s top layers in order to provide hydration, healing, and glowing skin. Wanna learn which ones would (probably) be best for you? Elle has a list here and Byrdie has a list here.
10. “Less Is More”
If there is one way to tie all of this in together, it’s the fact that pretty much all of these upcoming skincare trends are about bringing out the most in your natural beauty so that you truly can take the “less is more” approach to cosmetics. Not that make-up is bad or anything because, I have said several times before, there are folks out here who take make-up application to new levels and truly turn it into an art form.
All I’m saying is I’m happy that these popular treatments are making their way to the forefront because that will hopefully encourage people to run out to the store (more) without worrying about putting make-up on and caring for their skin instead of hiding behind layers of foundation. Yeah, if 2025 is going to be about “traveling light,” even when it comes to beauty…I am all for it!
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