Okay, while I am totally aware of what cuffing season is (I even wrote a couple of pieces on it that you can check out here and here), I've gotta admit that I cracked up when I saw someone post an entire cuffing-related schedule.
pic.twitter.com/NXXt048gcC— Alphacology (@Alphacology) 1627829634
As you can clearly see, we've already passed the "scouting" portion of the program. Apparently, we are now in the "drafting" part. Anyway, as I was sharing this data with a male friend of mine, he went on and on about how important it really and truly is to have a "cuddle buddy" during the fall and winter seasons. "It's not even really about sex," he said. "You just want to curl up under someone with some wine and a blanket and watch some movies all day on the couch." Uh-huh. I've known this guy long enough to know that he doesn't just want to cuddle; however, his statement is what inspired me to write this article.
What Are the Benefits of Cuddling?
Cuddling. Have you ever stopped to think what that word actually means? When you cuddle with someone, oftentimes, you are giving them an extended and affectionate hug. When you cuddle with someone, you are embracing them to show love and/or warmth and care. When you cuddle with someone, you are expressing that you want to experience a relaxed sense of intimacy with them. Cuddling is precious. And it really is such a perfect physical act for the fall season. Not only that but it comes with some solid science-based reasons for why all of us should be doing it.
So, whether you are already booed up for the fall or you're still scouting some potentials to "cuff," here are eight reasons why cuddling is one of the best things that you can do as we prepare to enter into my favorite season of the year — autumn.
8 Cuddling Health Benefits
1. Cuddling Reduces Your Stress Levels
Oxytocin is a natural hormone that serves as a chemical messenger to the brain. One of the things that it has a reputation for is it causes people to bond with one another whenever intimacy (like kissing, sex, and cuddling) transpires. That's why one of its popular nicknames is "the love hormone". Where I'm going with this is, when you cuddle with another person and oxytocin is triggered in your system, it permeates feelings like comfort, peace, and calm which results in your stress levels dropping.
A lot of health-related issues including heart disease, asthma, depression, headaches, and even diabetes are directly tied to stress. That's why it's a good idea to see cuddling as a way to be proactive about keeping your stress levels way down, for the sake of your overall health and well-being.
2. Cuddling Increases Your Emotional IQ
If someone were to offer you a thousand bucks to define "alexithymia", would you be able to do it? Basically, what it boils down to is not being able to either recognize or define your feelings (I should probably write something on that, huh?). And just what does this have to do with cuddling?
Well, what some researchers have discovered is that when we cuddle, it actually increases our emotional IQ levels. That's because, typically, if we are comfortable enough to cuddle with someone, we're also comfortable enough to share with them our thoughts and feelings.
Hmph. No wonder pillow talk can be so effective in relationships. Interesting.
3. Cuddling Boosts Your Immunity
As we're headed into cold and flu season (especially while we're still in the midst of a pandemic…whew), it's important to be as proactive as possible about strengthening your immune system (check out "Ready To Try 10 Quick & Easy Immune-Boosting Hacks?"). Believe it or not, one way to do that is by cuddling up with someone. I'm not kidding.
There are studies citing the fact that people who hug up often are less likely to get sick when they are exposed to the viruses that lead to colds and the flu than folks who don't. So, aside from boosting your vitamin C intake, cuddling is a proven weapon against sneezing, coughing 'n stuff.
4. Cuddling Aids in Healthy Digestion
Are you someone who battles with bloating, nausea or some form of digestion-related discomfort? Somebody needs to hurry up and cuddle with you. I'm not kidding.
Remember how I talked about how beneficial oxytocin is when it comes to reducing your stress levels? Well, when your system isn't stressed out, that takes some of the pressure off of your digestive tract, making it easier for you to process the food you eat.
Out of all of the health benefits of cuddling, I think this is the one that tripped me out the most.
5. Cuddling Boosts Your Self-Esteem
I'm thinking this particular point is a given. At the end of the day, all of us want to feel wanted and when someone cuddles with us, that message is conveyed pretty well. And when we feel like someone is into us on this kind of level, that can do wonders for our self-esteem. And when we feel good about ourselves, we tend to be more intentional about making decisions that will be good for our mind, body and spirit. Yep, cuddling is an ego booster in the best way possible as well.
6. Cuddling Helps to Block Pain Signals
Most of us have seen a television show or movie where there's a scene that features someone holding another person's hand in the hospital as the patient smiles. Believe it or not, there is actually something quite real to that because there's data to support that when we're feeling bodily pain and our hand is held, pain signals get blocked and we're able to find some relief. If that sounds unbelievable to you, you can check some info on it for yourself right here.
7. Cuddling Makes You Feel Closer to Your Partner
Last year, Web MD published an article entitled, "Need Better Sleep? Get a Partner". Aside from some of the other benefits that I've already touched on, when you're cuddling with your partner, it's a proactive way of spending some much-needed quality time as you express love through physical touch. Yep. The couple who cuddles together has a far greater chance of staying together too.
8. Cuddling Gives You a Better Night’s Rest
Speaking of bonding with your partner, if you like to spoon, I totally get it. Indeed, I do. So, let me just close all of this out by saying that I am in full support of you and your "spooning partner" doing it more often because this type of cuddling actually helps you to remain in your REM state of sleep. That way, you can get more quality rest throughout the night, so that you can wake up feeling more refreshed in the morning. So, what are you waiting for, sis? Get to cuddling.
Featured image by Getty Images
It's kinda wild that, in 2025, my byline will have appeared on this platform for (what?!) seven years. And yeah, when I'm not waxing poetic on here about sex, relationships and then...more sex and relationships, I am working as a certified marriage life coach, helping to birth babies (as a doula) or penning for other places (oftentimes under pen names).
As some of you know, something that I've been "threatening" to do for a few years now is write another book. Welp, October 2024 was the month that I "gave birth" to my third one: 'Inside of Me 2.0: My Story. With a 20-Year Lens'. It's fitting considering I hit a milestone during the same year.
Beyond that, Pumas and lip gloss are still my faves along with sweatshirts and tees that have a pro-Black message on them. I've also started really getting into big ass unique handbags and I'm always gonna have a signature scent that ain't nobody's business but my own.
As far as where to find me, I continue to be MIA on the social media front and I honestly don't know if that will ever change. Still, if you need to hit me up about something *that has nothing to do with pitching on the site (I'm gonna start ignoring those emails because...boundaries)*, hit me up at missnosipho@gmail.com. I'll do what I can. ;)
Reset Your Relationship: How To Start 2025 Strong With Your Partner
As the calendar turns and a new year unfolds, many of us are laser-focused on our career goals, fitness resolutions, and vision boards that outline the journey to our best selves. But amidst all the planning and self-improvement, have you made room for another important part of your life? Your relationship.
It's easy for couples to fall into a routine, going through the motions and letting their connection sit on autopilot. While comfort is natural in a long-term relationship, it’s important to remember: that what you don’t nurture, eventually fades. So, why not make 2025 the year you reset your relationship? Here’s how to start the year with a renewed bond, reigniting the spark that brought you together.
Step 1: Schedule Your Reset Meeting
The first step to hitting the reset button is a State of the Union meeting with your partner. This is your chance to take a pulse on the relationship, discuss what's working, and identify areas that need attention. It’s all about creating space to reflect, without distractions.
Grab a pen and paper (or open a shared note on your phone) and come prepared to share your top 2-3 desires for your relationship.
What do you both want to feel more of in 2025? Maybe it’s feeling more appreciated, or perhaps you want to reignite the passion you had when you first started dating. Whatever it is, get clear about it, and make sure both of you are on the same page.
This isn’t just about listing your own wants, it’s also about discussing ways to nurture each other’s needs. Relationship goals should be focused on fostering deeper intimacy, trust, and mutual respect. Use this time to check in, not only with each other but with your individual feelings and expectations. Set the foundation for a fulfilling year ahead.
Step 2: Set A Date (Or Multiple!)
Having the meeting is only the first step. Now, it’s time to take action. One of the simplest ways to breathe new life into a relationship is by reintroducing consistent, intentional time spent together. For many couples, life gets busy, and date nights fall by the wayside. But dating doesn’t stop when you say "I do"—in fact, it’s even more essential.
During your reset meeting, lock in a regular date night that works for both of your schedules. This could be a weekly dinner date or an every-other-week adventure—whatever keeps things fresh. The goal is consistency. It’s easy to push date nights aside when life gets hectic, but if you set a specific date each week or month, you’re making your relationship a priority.
If you’re unsure what to do for your date nights, don’t worry! The key is creating new experiences together. This is what sparks excitement and brings you closer as a couple. Whether it’s cooking a new recipe together, trying a dance class, or exploring a nearby town, it’s about creating shared memories that build your connection.
Step 3: Find an Accountability Partner
Just like you might have a personal trainer to help you crush your fitness goals, an accountability partner for your relationship can do wonders for keeping both of you on track. Consider hiring a marriage coach or therapist—someone who can meet you where you are and guide you in strengthening your relationship.
When selecting a professional, it’s important to choose someone who truly wants the best for your marriage and can provide actionable advice.
Don’t be afraid to set high standards for your relationship, and seek guidance on how to keep it thriving for the long haul. In your reset meeting, discuss your commitment to growth, and be honest about areas where you may need support.
Marriage isn’t a set-it-and-forget-it endeavor—it’s an ongoing process. Regular check-ins with a professional can help keep your relationship in tip-top shape and “divorce-proof” by addressing issues before they become insurmountable.
Step 4: Try Something New Together
Stale routines can easily make a relationship feel monotonous. Spice things up by trying something new! Couples that explore new activities and create new memories together have stronger, more fulfilling bonds.
My husband and I host one of the top luxury marriage retreats, A Weekend For Love, designed to help couples experience new things together. From couples' workshops to outdoor adventures, the retreat provides a platform to rediscover each other and reconnect on a deeper level.
The element of surprise can reignite your connection. It’s exciting, fresh, and shows your partner that you’re committed to growing together. This doesn’t have to be a huge commitment—it could be as simple as trying a new hobby or planning an impromptu weekend getaway.
Your Relationship Should Be A Priority
As you start the year with personal goals in mind, don’t forget the importance of nurturing your relationship. It’s easy to get caught up in work, fitness, and family obligations, but your bond with your partner deserves to be at the top of your list. Resetting your relationship offers an opportunity to reignite that spark and remind each other why you fell in love in the first place.
In 2025, make a commitment to prioritize your partnership, to nurture it daily, and to invest in its growth. Take time to celebrate each other’s victories, support one another’s dreams, and build a foundation of love and respect. When you start the year with a clear focus on your relationship, you’re setting it up for success.
So, before you start mapping out your new workout plan or work goals, do yourself a favor: put your relationship at the top of that list. Your love story deserves a fresh start, too.
Happy New Year, and here’s to a love-filled 2025!
Couples, if you are ready to do the work and invest in your relationship register for A Weekend For Love: Heart Retreat Feb 21-23, 2025.
Featured image by zamrznutitonovi/Getty Images
Alaska Wasn’t On My Bucket List, But My Glacier Adventure Made Me A Believer
We all have bucket list destinations at the top of our lists. I visited one of those at the top of 2024: Japan! But what happens when you get an opportunity to go someplace that wasn’t on it? For me, that was Alaska. Now, I’d submitted my short film to the Anchorage International Film Festival, genuinely thinking it would be a long shot to get in with a short film about fibroids and Black women’s health.
However, to my surprise, I received an email that read: “It’s with great excitement that we announce your film, Super High: A Period Piece, has been selected for the 24th Anchorage International Film Festival.” After looking at the flight distance from Atlanta to Anchorage—a solid 10 hours one way— I’d decided this would be one I wouldn’t attend.
That was until there was a follow-up email that shared that the festival was sponsoring two excursions for filmmakers: A Northern Lights Tour and A Glacier Hike.
With that, I knew I had to make the trip to the 49th state! I flew Delta, which offered the shortest layovers—just 50 minutes each way. For a more comfortable flight on the longer legs that were about six hours between my layover city and Anchorage, I upgraded to first class with an in-app discount for $256 (the regular price of a first-class ticket runs about $2,100), which was so worth it for additional space and service for the six-hour trek.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
"So What’s Alaska Like? Did You Have To Wear a Snowsuit? What’s the Food Like?"
These are among the major questions I’ve gotten. Anchorage reminds me less of a bustling major city and more of a small town with an easygoing feel. When I arrived, they’d just had snow a few days before, so it was cold, and the streets were slick. So, I was so happy I’d invested in a pair of snow boots. For my first few days, the locals said it was warm. Warm to them being 20s at night and mid-30s during the day.
However, by the time I left, fresh snow was on the ground, and temps were well into the single digits—and it felt like it. Oh, the sun doesn’t rise until 10:30 a.m., and it sets around 4 p.m. That was among the most challenging things to experience because I felt like I never really woke up. So, between the lack of sun and the four-hour time difference, I felt tired the whole time I was there.
As for food, I didn’t explore a ton because I was so cold. But I found two gems! First was Whiskey and Ramen. If you enjoy ramen and exceptional service, this is a must-visit. I’d make a trip back just for their Wagyu ramen and their special take on an old fashion!
And, for coffee, I thoroughly enjoyed That Feeling Co. The coffee was great, and being surrounded by plants helped to perk up my spirits.
The Northern Lights
Iceland is one of the most popular places to see the Northern Lights, so I was very excited to know that Alaska also gets to see the Aurora Borealis light show. Typically, many people visit Fairbanks to see them, but there are tours offered in Anchorage too! When prepping for the late-night tour, we’d heard that the night we were heading out to see the lights, the cloud coverage likely meant we wouldn’t be able to see them. Bummer. I know. So, we could sit the tour out or still try. But, in my mind, I was like, why would I come all the way to Alaska not to try?
So, at about 9:30 p.m., we piled into vans and headed out to chase the Northern Lights. We traveled about an hour and a half from Anchorage, and when we stepped out of the van, it was cold and pitch black. And unfortunately, after a couple of hours in the cold, those clouds in the sky never parted for us. I know that when we see the posts of people who do get to see Mother Nature do her thing, we don’t have all of the context of the science, which is Aurora Borealis.
Sometimes, the weather just doesn’t do what we earthlings would like, which can lead to disappointment. However, our guide did give a recommendation. When you book a trip to see the lights, give yourself four to five days to see them. Don’t bank on one day because, at the end of the day, this is science.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Now, On to the Glacier!
Just six hours after returning from the Northern Lights tour, we were up for the glacier tour because they were back-to-back! I was exhausted and so excited. If someone had told me I’d hike on a glacier, I would have given them a mean side-eye. I mean, where on earth does one climb a glacier? Let me share a few destinations with you, just in case you want to plan an icy adventure: Switzerland, Norway, Iceland, Chile, Argentina, and Alaska.
Aside from the fact the Matanuska Glacier is 22,000 years old, it’s the largest glacier accessible by car in the United States—27 miles long and four miles wide, making it one of the easier ones to see IRL. As a girlie with generalized anxiety disorder, I get anxious about doing this kind of thing because I know that to see these world wonders is usually a mountainous trek.
This one was two hours long, one-way, up snow-capped, windy, mountainous terrain. However, my therapist always reminds me to push myself to do what scares me (as long as it’s for a reason, of course). I held my breath for the journey there and back! And white-knuckled it from time to time, too.
Courtesy of Bianca Lambert
Once we got there, we were surrounded by fresh, fluffy snow, and it was COLD! In the negative cold. I was thankful, I’d over-prepared. If you even go on a glacier tour, I recommend a few things: Balaclava, heavy-weight gloves, cashmere socks, snow boots, and lots of layers.
Here’s what I wore. My first layer was Ann Taylor leggings and a Wolford Turtleneck. Then, I layered a cashmere turtleneck and cashmere joggers. A COACH down vest, which I’d recommend anyone own just for winter, in general, because it’s SO warm! For my feet, I wore Ann Taylor cashmere socks (I love these because they’re affordable and so warm) and Adidas Adifom Superstar Winter Boot and topped all of that with a Brandon Blackwood ankle-length parka. I know BB is known for his accessories, but the brand’s outwear is truly amazing and worth the investment. After two hours on the ice, I felt great!
If you’re open to adventure travel, I highly recommend putting a glacier tour on your list of things to do. There are a few reasons. First, standing on an ice age-old massive piece of glacier was my 2024 version of touching some grass. I was reminded that I’m a speck on this spinning rock and need to spend more time grounded in that fact as I move through the world. I looked to the sky and thought of how proud my ancestors would be, even though I know they’d be telling me to get my butt home and off a dog on a glacier!
Secondly, I gained an ever-large appreciation for Mother Nature as I learned that glaciers are the world's largest reservoir of freshwater, containing around 69% of the world's freshwater. Again, another fact that helped me gain perspective. Lastly, it’s just fun and stunningly beautiful!
After this, I’m looking forward to my next cold-weather adventure! Iceland and Argentina are at the top of the list!
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Featured image courtesy of Bianca Lambert